So I’m typing here using my very pink Logitech keyboard and my phone to blog about how terrible it is that there is a system-wide Converge blackout here in QC. I’m using my Smart data just as my phone is on fire due to multiple calls, which I will write about later.
First off, I drove to Msi-ECS this afternoon for a Lenovo repair. This company also accepts gadgets (laptops, tablets) from other brands like HP, Asus, Acer, Dell, etc).
Driving along Marcos Highway. Took me 1.5 hrs roundtrip for 20 mins of service. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
The service was quick since I called them up on Friday for scheduling and pre-fill up of data sheet.
Photo by CallMeCreation.com.com
The rest of the afternoon was spent on emailing and instant messaging people. I can’t believe that it takes hours to do these things.
Then the group that I had been helping during the height of the lockdowns in 2020 had asked for assistance again as the Aetas of Capas, Tarlac have no means of livelihood due to the pandemic and the children would be having face-to-face classes now. The teachers are asking for white shirts for the children as they have no clothes to wear to school.
I began my messaging and call brigade to mobilize my connections. So now they have been sending financial support and another friend said she can have the shirts made in Taytay T-shirt factories for only PHP 40 each. My mom’s friends are sending books and other people are sending school supplies.
I will ask my corporate connections for donations in kind (probably through their own foundations) for school materials or food supplements for these kids, whose families were displaced by the Clark Development Corp.
Sixteen years ago, I’ve written about the Aetas’ dire situation (in Morong, Bataan), especially when it comes to their education or the lack thereof. Sixteen years have passed and it hasn’t changed much.
It’s about time that I make that long-delayed trip to Tarlac and meet this community of indigenous people that I had been helping remotely. I will ask a friend for book donations as well. My reporter-friend and I will arrange a trip together since he was the one who helped distribute the milk powder that I solicited from a food conglomerate way back in 2020.
This is the reason why I can’t leave the Philippines. I have the means to help them and make a difference, in my own little way. I can also write about their plight for one of the broadsheets since I’m friends with most of their editors, as I had been doing in the past. The indigenous peoples of this country are the most forgotten/neglected groups in this impoverished country. They don’t have voices and only a few of us can lend ours.
As I said in my essay, Love Letter to Myself, we need to work at the bottom of the pyramid to be able to spark change.
And oh, my crazy cats have destroyed the screen on my bedroom window because they’re chasing birds outside my window. 🙄
My destructive monster, Kimchi. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Body clock still out of whack. I slept before 12 last night then I got woken up at 4 am. Had to fall back asleep. Then woke up at 9 am! Despite that, I still fell asleep at 1 pm and woke up after 1.5 hrs.
What’s wrong with me???😢
Anyway, got my groove back and tackled this Sombrero Island watercolor. I’m waiting for it to dry then do another layer.
Art and photo by CallMeCreation.com
I’m missing the sea again. I wish I could go now but the weather is uncooperative. I want to try checking in at Arthur’s Place or Planet Dive.
It’s quite annoying that my trip to Singapore this June is yet to be approved. Needed to justify why I need to attend such and such conference, do we often attend such, etc. Like hello! That’s my freaking job!!!
Sometimes I often find myself wishing to be just a cat that can stretch out and not give a flying fuck about what is happening to the world. Like today. My mistake was I opened my Twitter and doom-scrolled. And found that there were two things that made me question if there is really intelligent life on earth.
So one lawyer got tired of all Marcos supporters harassing all opposition people so he wrote the central bank about the “legendary” Tallano Gold that they claimed made the Marcoses rich (and not from stealing from national coffers, which the whole world knows about). So he got a proper document disproving it. To shut up Marcos supporters and tell them no, Jr will not distribute the gold, and no, he will not “save” the Philippines using the legendary Tallano gold.
The signature of the general counsel was redacted for his protection, the letter/email sender said.
I told my friend who heads one of the units in the communications arm at BSP about this. She then forwarded this to their lawyers so that they can come up with a public/press release addressing this. Some banking reporters are already inquiring about this as well.
The idiocy is never-ending.
I don’t want to dignify the other heart-attack-inducing malicious thing involving a Cebu Pacific pilot, who is spreading lies, so I’m not recording it here. Even if Cebu Pacific already issued a statement regarding this, that pilot is not stopping. I sent screencaps and time stamps of his stupid comments (and is not remorseful of his lies) to the crisis PR head of the airline. A privacy lawyer already said that he is liable for his statements, aside from being libelous, it violates aviation protocols/privacy laws.
I should totally withdraw from from social media—but I catch my fast international markets news on Twitter. So how now? 🙄
A high school classmate who runs a travel company offered to shelter me if I find things unbearable. She sent me this photo of one of her tours. She said I can stay in one island in El Nido for a day and hop to the next islands in the next few days. Sounds like heaven.
El Nido, Palawan. My classmate’s photo.
I told her I will take that offer when the time comes. It’s just the timing is all wrong. So many things happening at work this time. I had to reject an application for a reporter position in Singapore because he/she is abroad and getting employment passes in Singapore is difficult at this time (or forever). So I need to have coffee dates with prospects so I can poach them. Annoying. My request for travel next month is not yet approved by HQ. I need to book my accommodation and flights now. I hate this system that my company imposed now, which makes things a lot slower. Before, the buck stops in HK so approvals are easier.
I just want to curl up and be a cat.
Later I will tackle this if I’m in the mood.
Art and photo by CallMeCreation.com
Can’t sleep.
I don’t know why. I thought I have already gone back to Philippine Standard Time after our Anilao trip. I even slept before 11 pm last night after I had a 1.5-hr deep tissue massage. Now I’m back to my former sleepless state.
Meanwhile, my cats are having none of those stresses and are just chilling on my bed while I have my zoom meeting.
I envy my cats. They don’t give a fuck. Photo by CallMeCreation.comI need to get back to work and ignore this government. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
No more basura days because the month is halfway gone and I need to push the team to chase stories. Myself included. I have an interview tomorrow and I must process my travel plans, book tickets and hotel.
And damn it, the rains are already here! We are having heavy rains in the afternoon everyday. I guess camping in the mountains this coming weekend is already out of the question. I checked the NOAA satellite view, there’s no typhoon or low pressure area; it’s pure southwest monsoon, or what looks like it.
It came really early. Drats.
Went around the village this afternoon for errands and had Twin A’s gear shifter and brakes changed. Hopefully, it won’t rain as meeehhhh, according to weather.com it would be thunderstorms for the rest of the month. So I guess the best bet is to go to my hometown this weekend to bike, even if it’s raining, it’s perfectly fine. I actually like cycling (and playing football) under the rain when I lived there.
We also went to the girls’ school to get their report cards. I’m happy to say that their GWAs are above 90. They have a fighting chance to pass the UP high exam. They need to have this kind of GWA from 5th Grade to first two quarters of 6th Grade and high entrance test scores to pass. I’m keeping my fingers crossed.
I remember when I was their age, I needed to keep my GWA above 90 as well but my internal target was 92-95. Sometimes I messed up, sometimes I hit the target…But I don’t remember studying as much as my classmates who were also in the honor roll. Like they even had pie charts of their daily study schedule whereas I was just winging it 🤣. I guess if I really studied hard back then I would have been one of the “bright kids” that the teachers loved. But that wasn’t me. I had too many things going on (extra-curricular activities and socializing) that’s why I was always distracted.
Of course, I won’t tell my kids this. 😂
And when I got to UP high, I told my parents I promise I will pass the UP College Admission Test, but let me have fun in high school. So I did. I was just an average kid among the the “bright” ones because I wanted to be just that. I didn’t want to bother with being on top of the class because… I don’t know. I wanted to pursue other things like theater, glee club, sports, and social life. I was a popular kid back then but I wasn’t cool enough to be the “It” girl.
I was qualified to take the Advanced English class but I skipped the screening exam one summer because I was vacationing with my cousins in our parents’ hometown. Well, it turned out ok in the end because none in our batch’s Advanced English became writers or journalists. I think it boils down to grit and guts + skills in pursuing such goals. So in the end I didn’t lose much for not being in any advanced classes before but I had rich life experiences. Like I missed screening exams but that summer (and the following summers) we hiked regularly on the mountain to have a beautiful view of Taal Lake and West Philippine Sea whenever we were bored, bathed in a pool of spring water, we made lifelong friends with the children of our parents’ neighbors and classmates, reconnected with distant relatives, and grew closer to our grandparents, aunts and uncles. We had so many escapades that I wouldn’t exchange for any academic recognition when I was in high school.
I only got back to being serious with my academics when I was in college. I think that was the only time I did study, but I still didn’t have good study habits because I loved winging it since I still had a lot going on. I remember going around campus with just a ballpen and a steno notebook. I only had a few pesos in my pocket. I was a good note-taker but my notes were chronologically ordered. A normal human being would arrange it according to subject/course, but not me. So my classmates got confused when they photocopied my notes 😂 Little did they know I typed my notes into word documents at home and saved them into little diskettes in rainbow colors. I think that’s how I studied back then, that’s how I can afford to wing it.
I also remember going around campus in loose jeans, tank top, baseball cap and hard ground football boots like the one below so I don’t have to bring too much when I played in the field every afternoon.
I deliberately dressed like a boy because I was trying to be low key, to stave off male attention. I had been the subject of jealousy among some female classmates (spreading rumors and lies) because one heartthrob kept sticking with me because he found my company more enjoyable because there was no pretension on my part. I knew he wasn’t interested in me because he was courting a really girly girl on campus. It was just he was a theater major in the Philippine High School for the Arts (which could have been my track if I pursued it), we both watched Beavis and Butthead and Daria on MTV, and liked the same music, books, and movies. It was just… What can I say? The attention from other people was overwhelming. I also learned that there were guys who watched our scrimmage in the football field every afternoon because… I was really uncomfortable with that. So for a year I pretended I was a boy so I can continue with my carefree life.
After this horrible week, I deserve to be a sloth. My model creatures are my cats. I envy my cats in this regard.
Kimchi’s safe place is under my table. Photo by CallMeCreation.com Sushi’s favorite place is always above my head. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
I cooked for a bit, simple but hearty almondigas. This is similar to the Spanish or Mexican albondigas but the difference is the Spanish/Mexican one has tomatoes/tomato sauce. One pot dish that is perfect for sloth day.
I wanted to express my sorrow again in some form so I tried a sad sunset. But then again I need more practice blending complementary colors with analogous ones. Watercolors are really unforgiving.
Art and photo by CallMeCreation.com Art and photo by CallMeCreation.com
I’m waiting for this to dry up again. Drying times take hours so in between I sleep. Then layer again.
Still far from being done. Need to blend the muddy colors. Art and photo by CallMeCreation.com
Let’s see what this looks like later. I may end up just making pink peonies and be heartbroken all over again.
I already paid for the girls’ school tuition this afternoon. Writing the check and handing that amount to the school cashier every May is always a leap of faith.
They will be having a hybrid setup where the children will be divided into batches: some kids will be physically in school on MW while the others are at home; then they will be at home for T-TH while the others will be in school. Thank you for small mercies like this because my kids are tired of online school. I would have been tired too if I were in their shoes.
I have also paid for their high school entrance exam review tonight. They will have the sessions starting June every weekday afternoon and by August through September they will be having it every Sunday, for 4 hrs every morning until noon.
Alongside that are their regular Kumon sessions.
Twin I complained that they already have too much on their plate. I told them that was nothing when I was their age. I had high school entrance exam review classes, Math tutorial, Sunday (Catholic Church) school, and Rondalla practices, piano lessons, and goodness knows what else. I rode public transport through all of these. I didn’t complain because it was expected of me and there’s this unspoken pressure that 1) must always be an honor student; 2) must pass UP high school and UP (college) or else I will fail my parents and bring them shame since my brother topped those exams; my older siblings always graduated with honors, if not valedictorian. I was not given a choice not to pass those exams. I was not given a choice not to be an honor student.
It was not an option.
My kids are luckier because they know I have a Plan B. My parents had no Plan B for me then. It was taboo. I was the only one among my siblings who didn’t take the Philippine Science High School exam because right off the bat I knew I will not pursue a science career. My other choice then was Philippine High School for the Arts but I was confused whether I would be pursuing theater then or creative writing so in the end I didn’t take the screenings, but I already had in my hand the application forms. In the end I just rested my entire future in one entrance exam and it was only now that I realized that I would have been truly fucked if I didn’t pass UP high. My mom said, just a few years ago, that she was confident that her children would pass. I just don’t know where she got the confidence that I would.
My kids are now pressured to choose what their career paths would be–Twin I came to me one night and told me she doesn’t know what high school track she should pursue. I told them they could be whatever they want. They wouldn’t know what they wanted to do in life even after they graduate from college. I told them some friends keep reinventing themselves 20 years after. So they shouldn’t lose their hair trying to figure out what they wanted to do because things change.
I was the rare person who knew at 16 what she wanted to do for the rest of her life. Twenty-six years after, I’m still doing it and I have no regrets.
This song by Sam Smith is so apt for me right now. I used to always downgrade myself, thinking that I didn’t deserve so and so things, this person, this…Blame it on low self-esteem growing up. It took me 40 years to realize that no, I’m not so bad after all. That I’m ok. Sometimes more than ok. If only I knew what I know now back when I was in my 20s, I could’ve saved me a lot of heartache and sorrow.
But then adulting is like that, isn’t it?
Have you ever felt like being somebody else? Feeling like the mirror isn’t good for your health? Every day I’m tryin’ not to hate myself But lately, it’s not hurtin’ like it did before Maybe I am learning how to love me moreIt used to burn Every insult, every word But it helped me learn (yeah) Self-worth I had to earn So I tried every night To sit with sorrow And eventually, it set me freeHave you ever felt like being somebody else? Feeling like the mirror isn’t good for your health? Every day I’m tryin’ not to hate myself But lately, it’s not hurtin’ like it did before Maybe I am learning how to love me moreJust a little bit (love me more) Just a little bit (love me more) Oh, no (love me more) Just a little bit (love me more)I used to cry myself to sleep at night I’d blame the sky when the mess was in my mind I couldn’t see, I couldn’t breathe So I sat with sorrow And eventually, it set me freeHave you ever felt like being somebody else? Feeling like the mirror isn’t good for your health? (If you have, let me hear you right now) Every day I’m tryin’ not to hate myself (yeah, yeah, yeah) But lately, it’s not hurtin’ like it did before (sweet child) Maybe I am learning how to love me moreJust a little bit (love me more) Just a little bit (love me more) Oh, I’m gonna try to (love me more) With a little bit of love (love me more)Love me more Love me more (just a little bit) Love me more (love me more) Love me moreOh, gonna love me more (gonna love me more) Oh, gonna love me more (yeah, yeah, yeah) Oh, gonna love me more (gonna love me more) (Oh) oh, gonna love me more
This is me while working, my cat Sushi joining me in my press conference.
Photo by CallMeCreation.com
The weekend is soon here. Saturday we will stick near our apartment because there will be a gigantic traffic jam as people will be gathering in Makati CBD, and the stage for the Leni x Kiko Grand Rally will be located at Ayala Ave cor Paseo de Roxas. I think this will attract one million people and will spill over to Edsa. The whole of Makati CBD will be clogged—there will be a domino effect so everything else is going to be frozen.
I wanted to go there, but my hotel reservations came a week earlier and I don’t have room in my budget this month for another staycation in the CBD area. My sister said it’s difficult to attend these rallies because you have no place to pee, it’s hot, and parking is a nightmare. My fear of Covid is winning over my FOMO (fear of missing out). My kids and I will just probably bike around with Leni x Kiko posters all over us.
And these text spams by Marcos? I fight back…
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I enjoy trolling them.
