Yes, the dollar receipts do help the economy but these dollars are not the high value ones. Backpackers and “digital nomads” do not bring in as much as business process outsourcing or exports do.

Therefore, these white trash have no grounds to lord it over us locals. We don’t owe them anything. They can shove their tourist dollars up their ass. Give respect to your host country, dumbass!

The incident in Bali, the oppression by Israelis in Siargao, the audacity of white trash in Phuket and Bangkok, the begging of backpackers in Malaysia…like hello! If you can’t finance your “travel of self-discovery” just stay home! We are not responsible for your lack of preparedness and we will not finance your luxury. We barely can feed ourselves. Imagine if we Southeast Asians did that in Europe and US?! We would get deported immediately. We are more tolerant here but don’t abuse our hospitality.

Rant over.

I finally got my July salary last night. However, this doesn’t change things. I must get a new job because I doubt if things will get better. USD 15bn debt will not get wiped out in a week.

Anyway, since I am liquid again (I just didn’t want to withdraw my investments and just used my emergency funds), I went straight to the new Toyota service center in my town to have my 15,000 km PMS.

Because we drove through the flooded Taft Ave last Monday, I asked my service agent if they can check my gear oil if it needed to be changed because water may have entered the gears or whatnot.

So far everything was fine and they also cleaned the car’s aircon.

I can drive again to Metro Manila tomorrow. Hopefully, no strong thunderstorm. 🤞

I’m so thankful I no longer live in Metro Manila, which is completely waterlogged since last week. It’s also a good thing that I didn’t want to work since two weeks ago when our salaries got delayed because that kept me at home. Just chill.

Got another rejection from the job I applied for. To be fair, I wasn’t fit for the role advertised but I was frank in my cover letter when I said I sent my application for other future roles that they may have like a sub-editor for Asia or a Southeast Asia correspondent. But apparently it ruined my chance for any position with them. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I spent the whole of Wednesday putting together my application for the faculty position (tenure track) at my undergrad college. The notice was sent to me on the same day I have told friends and family that my job has become out of whack.

It was a rushed affair. I wasn’t able the append the e-copy of the book where I contributed (I wrote one chapter) more than 20 years ago. I forgot to include other certifications I had because I couldn’t find them. The ones I was able to attach are the evidence I attended a “crash course MBA” at AIM, my civil service exam result, and the certificates that showed I was invited to lecture/became a guest speaker. My Greek-letter sister (who is also from the same departament that was hiring) said those are proofs that I am an expert in my field so that will count.

Although a lot of friends in the industry told me I am already a shoo-in for that position given my experience (and also previous teaching stint at my grad school), it’s not an assurance that I will get a higher position than assistant professor 1. I didn’t produce any academic papers because — damn it! — I barely even had any headspace for that as a journalist who is constantly in the field, busy managing people, traveling for work, busy managing my household, building a house, etc.

I also do not have any PhD.

I do not have time to pursue that. I don’t think it makes sense for me to pursue that now at age 46. 🫠

Academe values these more than practical experience in the field. My expertise in journalism doesn’t count that much. That’s how skewed the world of academe is. They would rather have journalism professors with zero journalism experience to teach journalism to undergrads than real journalists who had been in the trenches but lack PhDs.🤦🏻‍♀️

I’m technically still employed but all of us (most of those I know anyway) are looking for other jobs. It’s a sinking ship because the guy who acquired us 6 years ago is a greedy bastard. I think he is only 25 basis points away from credit default.

Anyway, I attended a forum organized by my former trade organization… Well, just to network. Since I said I am open to consulting work and other writing gigs, I may get potential projects soon.

My experience last Monday accompanying my mom to her check up with her surgeon was a bit harrowing. We made my one-year-old car swim in the streets of Manila.

The rains were unforgiving for western Philippines because of the habagat (southwest monsoon). Eastern China and Chiba in Japan aren’t faring any better.

Pacific Ocean is very busy and messy these days with four to five active systems happening at the same time.

I still have a job technically but it is fucked up. A lot of us are already looking for new roles.

It’s a sinking ship because the new owner is an asshole. Can’t help thinking about The Devil Wears Prada 2 = the realities of journalism today.

I spent the last few days sending cover letters and filling up forms. Reaching out to people. It has been 20 years since I did this. I had the luxury of having jobs land on my lap. But in this economy? That’s just a dream nowadays.

It’s an understatement. We’re flooded all over. Damn it! And they said we should move on from the flood control corruption scandal!

I’m forever grateful that I had the foresight to build my home outside of Metro Manila when I still had resources to do so. Now that my work is rocky and I am living on savings, I’m not afraid that I will become homeless, especially at a time of disasters.

Just spoke with one of my friends in the industry and he said he wants to get me but they need to do a lot of paperwork first. A contributor in the meantime might work. I said it’s fine. My employment isn’t terminated yet and I will get my salary for as long as I can to build up my savings until I get a new job. That is, if they will still pay salaries.

I’m posting this to bring a smile on my face. For close to a decade, this Lip Sync Battle performance by Tom Holland never fails to make me smile.

I need that today. I need this in the coming weeks. Months.

The writing is on the wall. I will soon lose my job. Global rivals have been publishing how our company owner is drowning in debt and his shopping spree for companies that are not accretive are crushing finances. His insatiable appetite for acquisitions is just beyond greed. I no longer know wnat to call it.

I knew for quite a while that his bankers are no longer opening credit lines. Creditors have been investigating operations because why the hell are we not liquid??? Aside from issues with one of our bosses, I am aware that financially we are a sitting on a tinderbox. That’s why I’ve been sproadically applying for jobs for years. The last rejection I got was just two weeks ago after 6 months of application process.

Now there’s this urgency because our salaries are put on hold.

I’m running now on savings.

Fuck.

Goo Goo Dolls was my favorite ’90s band because their Dizzy Up the Girl album was something I played from start to finish. No skipping. Just like Alanis Morissette’s Jagged Little Pill.

My favorite song in that album is Black Balloon and not Iris. 😂

But I gotta hand it to John Rzeznik; 30 years after, Iris is still well loved and has remained timeless.

I was able to watch City of Angels when it came out (was it 1997???) and it was Iris that stuck with me and not the movie. City of Angels was just so-so…I was more annoyed that Meg Ryan’s character died right after Nick Cage’s angel gave up forever to touch her. A college friend, however, was so enamoured with the movie that I could almost forgive the movie makers. I tried to understand it through my friend’s eyes to appreciate it.

And later, I learned why City of Angels and Iris resonated with him:  my friend had this unrequited love at that time, which remained unreturned to this very day.

Tragic, I know.

So now that I am 46 years old and have suffered slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, I now somehow appreciate Iris and what my college friend was feeling at that time.

And I’ll give up forever to touch you…

In essence, the song is about feeling. Just to be able to feel something. The longing for something that was impossible to reach. To feel something after a lifetime of being numb, of being hollow. Giving up everything you have in exchange for something fleeting is folly but you know deep in your heart that it was worth it because you realized that this was the meaning of your existence.

And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
And sooner or later, it’s over
I just don’t wanna miss you tonight

It’s like the sakura… Its beauty lies in the knowledge that its existence is fleeting. It’s like a beautiful sunset; for 30 minutes, you bask in this glorious riot of colors until the sun sinks into the horizon. You capture it in that moment because you know it will be gone too soon.

And you can’t fight the tears that ain’t coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything feels like the movies
Yeah, you bleed just to know you’re alive

Hey hey hey! Alex Eala just won the Mubadala DC Open!

Congrats, Queeeeeeen! 🏆👑