I’ve been here in the hospital since Tuesday with my sister to watch over my mom who had surgery to fix her hernia. I’m not sure when we will be going home because she was bleeding profusely the night after her surgery. Her surgical drip could not keep up and she bled through her insertion point.

We blame her refusal to wear a binder post-op for that bloody mess. She said it was uncomfortable. But her coughing (acid reflux irritated her throat) could have stretched her insides and without the binder, God knows what could have been torn inside.

Anyway, that was sorted out. So the removal of the epidural from her back and bladder training (before catheter removal) came in late. We should have been packing up by now but no, the pulmonologist heard some phlegm from my mom’s left lung so no clearance yet.

These are Indonesians who only see the world through a very narrow tunnel and distorted lens. I had to correct them.

First of all, the Philippines only became a collective during the Spanish occupation. There was no single name for the archipelago, only a name for a group of islands like Luzon (from the Tagalog word lusong or wooden mortar), Visayas (Bisaya, a group of people living in Panay and Cebu, also thought to have come from the Sri Vijaya empire), and Mindanao (from Maguindanao, a dominant ethno-linguistic group of the island). Adopting the collective name given by the colonizers doesn’t make us less Southeast Asian. It’s like trauma-bonding; the archipelago had a common experience under the cruel Spanish and American rule, but otherwise we have our own identities distinct from one another.

Second, I had to corrrect that insinuationa  that the name Manila came from Islamic words. Manila came from Maynilad, which meant “may nilad” or “a place where there is nilad” with nilad being a kind of lily that floats or grows along the banks of Pasig River. It’s not Aman Allah! 🤦🏻‍♀️

Indonesians making everything Islamic again. Hello! Islam only came to the archipelago in late 13th century through trade. The people of this archipelago were animists (worshipping Bathala, the creator) but had Hindu influences (language mostly) because of trade with the Sri Vijaya and Majapahit empires. Names of places have existed long before Islam came here.

A colleague, who earned a master’s degree in Sociology in Indonesia, told me that it is very common for Indonesians to see the world through their Indonesian-centric eyes. He said they think the world revolves around them and their world view. He also said their ultra-nationalist stance was nurtured and pushed by Suharto regime. Hence, they look down on Filipinos for 1) adopting our colonial past as part of our history among instead of erasing them; 2) for not reverting to our pre-colonial name (which does not exist because each island group has a different name; 3) for adopting colonial customs. My colleague told me Indonesians couldn’t understand why we had English as another official language alongside our mother tongue.

My argument to that is 1) our history made us who we are. We cannot just wipe out 333 years of Spanish rule and 50 years of American colonialism just because. It’s like denying the sacrifices of those who came before us, of those who fought for our freesom, for what we have now.

2) We did not have a pre-colonial name for the entire archipelago. We cannot name ourselves Luzon because that excludes Visayas and Mindanao. We cannot name ourselves Maharlika because that is a Tagalog term and that erases the Bisaya from Visayas and the Maranao or Tausugs of Mindanao. Even though the national highway that stretches from North Luzon down to Mindanao is called Maharlika Highway, that hardly makes the name truly national.

3) We have two official languages = Filipino (simplified Tagalog with loan words from all over the country, and from Spanish and English) and the standard English.

Spanish was taught only to the elites so only a few can use it as mother tongue. English, on the other hand, was taught to everyone when the Americans established the public school system. Those who refused to speak Filipino as a revolt against imperial Manila would rather speak English to non-speakers of their mother tongue (mostly those from the Visayas).

Early on, we realized the advantage of being conversant in English because we could easily communicate with the outside world, especially after WW2. We could have erased both Spanish and English but that would have left us with fewer competitive advantage.

We could have done better, I suppose, when digging through our past and heritage and making them part of our daily lives again.

But we try…

We have incorporated kali-arnis into our PE curriculum so every Filipino child knows the basics of our indigenous martial art. We have ditched the western toga and was replaced by the sablay for important events like graduation. Started by the University of the Philippines, it is now being adopted by other educational institutions as well.

We are also making the baybayin, the native script of early Filipinos, more mainstream. We have used these in our banknotes, government logos or seals, passports. I remember taking an exam in Baybayin for our Filipino subject in our freshman year in high school. Sadly, I lost my Baybayin skill because passing notes written in Baybayin to my friends during class hours fell out of fashion when we reached our sophomore year.

We’re also making indigenous tattoo cool again. We hold tattoos in high esteem in the pre-colonial days as some tattoos were reserved only for warriors. Some symbols indicate social rank or ethnic group. From Kalinga in the north, the pintados in central Philippines, down to the lumad in Mindanao, the art of tattoo is very much part of our culture and identity. We are now trekking to Kalinga to be tattooed by Apo Whang-Od of the Butbut people. We are now discovering other tattoo arts in like pang-o-tub in Mindanao.

So to these Indonesians who had been irritating me on social media: you only see the outward appearance and judge us based on our ability to speak, read, and write in English.

I went to the pet expo yesterday, hoping I could get one interview. Surprisingly, there are more homegrown petfood brands now compared to Indonesia, which relies on Thai imports. Not even their local FMCG have tried entering this lucrative segment, which has a compounded annual growth rate of 30% for Southeast Asia.

The evidence is here: the first day of the expo is crowded. Many furparents were queuing up for discounted pet food, pet care goods, and medicines. I also spent a lot of money for cat food and treats. I even hauled a 7kg bag of Maxime kibbles from SMX to Ikea parking because they were discounted.

Having pets, however, is still cheaper than having kids. In this economy, only the rich can afford to have kids!

Birth rates across Southeast Asia are dropping and we choose to have less kids or go child-free. Pets have taken the place of children because that’s what we can afford and they’re more manageable. The region’s average fertility rate has fallen to around 1.89 births per woman, well below the global replacement level of 2.1.

It’s too expensive to buy a house and to send kids to school. Most Southeast Asians in mid to low income segments belong to the sandwich generation: supporting ageing parents or siblings financially while struggling to build their own families with their spouses.

It’s a financial trap that stresses my peers so much.

Pets have somewhat taken the place of kids or having partners. Many are opting out of marriage to pursue single-blessedness because of so many factors but primary is (un)affordability of just surviving this economy.

Yes, pet food and pet supplies are expensive but having kids is so much more.

I was at another expo last Thursday and checked out some EVs for public transport. The iconic Sarao Motors, the maker of Philippine jeepneys, has resurrected by pivoting to EV jeep manufacturing.

I got one interview and secured another one this coming week. Whew!

At least I have enough to tide me while I accompany my mom for her hernia surgery next week. Oh hello, PGH, again.

I’m waiting for a seminar to start. I don’t know what I’m doing here but I was kinda hoping I would be able to network well and get some stories.

I’m jumping through so many hoops just to be able to get varied stories in a very small and chaotic market.

Yesterday, as expected, I was a zombie as I tried to catch the tailend of the World Cup finals.

At 5 am, after 100 mins into the game, that’s when the adrenalin started to shoot up. Argentina’s game was too dirty, so it was raining yellow cards.

One goal was offside so it was such a downer. I thought we will have penalties by the end of the extension.

And then finally, Spain was able cleanly shoot one.

Spain just bid its time and did their best to exhaust the Argentinians.

But it’s clear why the Spaniards won. The Argentinians weren’t even trying.

Ok the seminar is starting.

Weekends should be three days. First day is dedicated for chores/errands, second day for family, and third day is for rest and recovery. Since we only have Saturday and Sunday to cram those must-do (errands and family), the rest and recovery is sacrificed so we end up still exhausted when we battle our way into Monday.

My shortcut to that is to outsource what I can so I can steal moments for rest and recovery. I buy all our Sunday meals from the weekend community market while I have a cleaning lady come on Friday-Saturday to clean and do laundry for me. However, that cleaning is just surface cleaning and the real deep cleaning and cooking is still done by moi.

This weekend would have been a perfect opportunity for us to go back to Anilao but, oh well, I missed an opportunity.

I’m still debating whether I should sleep early so I can catch the World Cup finals. I don’t want to be a walking zombie on a Monday. 😶 Yesterday I did nothing but sleep. I had to recover from a week-long cooking at 5 am for my kids. I’m old. I need my sleep.

Sailing by Christopher Cross is one of the songs that I always, always had to have on my phone, mp3 player, or my cd collection. It’s one of my top 5 songs of all time and it really transports me to another place, a nostalgic place that I haven’t been to. The funny thing is that the beautiful intro was an accident, an accident won Christopher Cross “Best Arrangement” at the Grammy’s several decades ago.

And now, he plays it here and I love, love, love how it sounds.

He created that song on a kitchen table. The key change was perfection and I totally get it why Cross had to do the key change, to lift the song out of the loop of the stanza/chorus guitar.