Another day, another rejection

Flowers I nabbed from the forum yesterday. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

Got another rejection from the job I applied for. To be fair, I wasn’t fit for the role advertised but I was frank in my cover letter when I said I sent my application for other future roles that they may have like a sub-editor for Asia or a Southeast Asia correspondent. But apparently it ruined my chance for any position with them. ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ

I spent the whole of Wednesday putting together my application for the faculty position (tenure track) at my undergrad college. The notice was sent to me on the same day I have told friends and family that my job has become out of whack.

It was a rushed affair. I wasn’t able the append the e-copy of the book where I contributed (I wrote one chapter) more than 20 years ago. I forgot to include other certifications I had because I couldn’t find them. The ones I was able to attach are the evidence I attended a “crash course MBA” at AIM, my civil service exam result, and the certificates that showed I was invited to lecture/became a guest speaker. My Greek-letter sister (who is also from the same departament that was hiring) said those are proofs that I am an expert in my field so that will count.

Although a lot of friends in the industry told me I am already a shoo-in for that position given my experience (and also previous teaching stint at my grad school), it’s not an assurance that I will get a higher position than assistant professor 1. I didn’t produce any academic papers because โ€” damn it! โ€” I barely even had any headspace for that as a journalist who is constantly in the field, busy managing people, traveling for work, busy managing my household, building a house, etc.

I also do not have any PhD.

I do not have time to pursue that. I don’t think it makes sense for me to pursue that now at age 46. ๐Ÿซ 

Academe values these more than practical experience in the field. My expertise in journalism doesn’t count that much. That’s how skewed the world of academe is. They would rather have journalism professors with zero journalism experience to teach journalism to undergrads than real journalists who had been in the trenches but lack PhDs.๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ


I’m technically still employed but all of us (most of those I know anyway) are looking for other jobs. It’s a sinking ship because the guy who acquired us 6 years ago is a greedy bastard. I think he is only 25 basis points away from credit default.

Anyway, I attended a forum organized by my former trade organization… Well, just to network. Since I said I am open to consulting work and other writing gigs, I may get potential projects soon.

I braved the rains last Friday. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

My experience last Monday accompanying my mom to her check up with her surgeon was a bit harrowing. We made my one-year-old car swim in the streets of Manila.

Taft Ave last Monday. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

The rains were unforgiving for western Philippines because of the habagat (southwest monsoon). Eastern China and Chiba in Japan aren’t faring any better.

Pacific Ocean is very busy and messy these days with four to five active systems happening at the same time.

Expect more rains next week.

Job hunting is a fulltime job

I still have a job technically but it is fucked up. A lot of us are already looking for new roles.

It’s a sinking ship because the new owner is an asshole. Can’t help thinking about The Devil Wears Prada 2 = the realities of journalism today.

I spent the last few days sending cover letters and filling up forms. Reaching out to people. It has been 20 years since I did this. I had the luxury of having jobs land on my lap. But in this economy? That’s just a dream nowadays.


It’s Raining in Manila

It’s an understatement. We’re flooded all over. Damn it! And they said we should move on from the flood control corruption scandal!

I’m forever grateful that I had the foresight to build my home outside of Metro Manila when I still had resources to do so. Now that my work is rocky and I am living on savings, I’m not afraid that I will become homeless, especially at a time of disasters.

Just spoke with one of my friends in the industry and he said he wants to get me but they need to do a lot of paperwork first. A contributor in the meantime might work. I said it’s fine. My employment isn’t terminated yet and I will get my salary for as long as I can to build up my savings until I get a new job. That is, if they will still pay salaries.


Fucked up this rainy week

I’m posting this to bring a smile on my face. For close to a decade, this Lip Sync Battle performance by Tom Holland never fails to make me smile.

I need that today. I need this in the coming weeks. Months.

The writing is on the wall. I will soon lose my job. Global rivals have been publishing how our company owner is drowning in debt and his shopping spree for companies that are not accretive are crushing finances. His insatiable appetite for acquisitions is just beyond greed. I no longer know wnat to call it.

I knew for quite a while that his bankers are no longer opening credit lines. Creditors have been investigating operations because why the hell are we not liquid??? Aside from issues with one of our bosses, I am aware that financially we are a sitting on a tinderbox. That’s why I’ve been sproadically applying for jobs for years. The last rejection I got was just two weeks ago after 6 months of application process.

Now there’s this urgency because our salaries are put on hold.

I’m running now on savings.

Fuck.

Iris

Goo Goo Dolls was my favorite ’90s band because their Dizzy Up the Girl album was something I played from start to finish. No skipping. Just like Alanis Morissette’s Jagged Little Pill.

My favorite song in that album is Black Balloon and not Iris. ๐Ÿ˜‚

But I gotta hand it to John Rzeznik; 30 years after, Iris is still well loved and has remained timeless.

I was able to watch City of Angels when it came out (was it 1997???) and it was Iris that stuck with me and not the movie. City of Angels was just so-so…I was more annoyed that Meg Ryan’s character died right after Nick Cage’s angel gave up forever to touch her. A college friend, however, was so enamoured with the movie that I could almost forgive the movie makers. I tried to understand it through my friend’s eyes to appreciate it.

And later, I learned why City of Angels and Iris resonated with him:  my friend had this unrequited love at that time, which remained unreturned to this very day.

Tragic, I know.

So now that I am 46 years old and have suffered slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, I now somehow appreciate Iris and what my college friend was feeling at that time.

And I’ll give up forever to touch you

In essence, the song is about feeling. Just to be able to feel something. The longing for something that was impossible to reach. To feel something after a lifetime of being numb, of being hollow. Giving up everything you have in exchange for something fleeting is folly but you know deep in your heart that it was worth it because you realized that this was the meaning of your existence.

And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
And sooner or later, it’s over
I just don’t wanna miss you tonight

It’s like the sakura… Its beauty lies in the knowledge that its existence is fleeting. It’s like a beautiful sunset; for 30 minutes, you bask in this glorious riot of colors until the sun sinks into the horizon. You capture it in that moment because you know it will be gone too soon.

And you can’t fight the tears that ain’t coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything feels like the movies
Yeah, you bleed just to know you’re alive


Hey hey hey! Alex Eala just won the Mubadala DC Open!

Congrats, Queeeeeeen! ๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ‘‘

Back in the hospital

Mom watching on her phone. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

I’ve been here in the hospital since Tuesday with my sister to watch over my mom who had surgery to fix her hernia. I’m not sure when we will be going home because she was bleeding profusely the night after her surgery. Her surgical drip could not keep up and she bled through her insertion point.

We blame her refusal to wear a binder post-op for that bloody mess. She said it was uncomfortable. But her coughing (acid reflux irritated her throat) could have stretched her insides and without the binder, God knows what could have been torn inside.

Anyway, that was sorted out. So the removal of the epidural from her back and bladder training (before catheter removal) came in late. We should have been packing up by now but no, the pulmonologist heard some phlegm from my mom’s left lung so no clearance yet.