My anxiety and heartbreak over the mess that is today’s national elections is something I should manage by ignoring news altogether.
But the mess today (“dysfunctional” voting machines, manual counting, etc) opens doors for Marcos and Duterte to cheat. A lot of people have reported—nationwide—of the same things. Reports of vote-buying by their camp are also rampant.
Video of vote-buying in Iloilo posted on FB by a concerned netizen
I’m letting go of this anxiety and let God’s will be done.
Love thy will be done.
I cannot control such things happening right now. It is causing me so much sleepless nights the past few days. My country has given me so much heartbreak and is pushing me to seek my fortune elsewhere. But then my love for it is pulling me to stay. Who will be left to love and defend it?
Twin I and I changed location today and we tried biking in a busier area than we are used to because I want to teach her again how to bike with more cars and stop lights around.
Photoby CallMeCreation.com
I was teaching her how to cross intersections. She has more confidence now in biking alongside cars compared to the first time I brought here to bike.
Water break near Philippine Stock Exchange. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Since Twin I is braver now, we crossed 5th Avenue to reach McKinley Road and went to McKinley West for steeper inclines and car-free roads. Then we went back to Lawton Avenue to go back to BGC.
Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf at Bonifacio High Street. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
We took a break and I had cold coffee with a cookie while Twin I had a vanilla drink and cupcake. The sun was already setting so we decided to go back to our parking area.
But we couldn’t locate our parking area.
It took us a while so we had more exercise than we had bargained for. 😂 Burned all the calories we gained at Coffee Bean.
Photo by CallMeCreation.com
This is the painful part. I had to fold up the bikes again and load them back into the Crosswind. Good thing I am no helpless woman as I can carry a bike by myself.
I need more practice again as I got tired easily. Prior to yesterday, the last time I attempted to bike was in November last year when I tried to check if I can expend energy that much after Covid. And wow, it took me six months to get back on track. I gained a lot of weight in between those months.
I need to buy my girls new helmets because they have already outgrown the ones they have now. Just like their swimsuits.
Tomorrow I need to have Twin A’s gear shifter fixed/change cables before we can bike again inside UP for our daily exercise. I need to lose all the weight I gained post-Covid so my breathing will be better and I can resume my freediving practice. I plan to bring my sister-in-law and nephews to Anilao before my girls start their entrance exam reviews. The rainy season is slowly creeping in.
Here’s to a fitter 2022!
Ugh! Tomorrow I’m supposed to be on holiday because of the elections but I cannot just sit back or else I will spend the day as a nervous wreck (and all of the people I’ve talked to who are voting for Leni are also tensed and anxious). I think I need to work to keep my mind off the elections.
Leni x Kiko Grand Rally at Ayala cor Paseo de Roxas at 6 pm. Photo by Roby Alampay via Twitter
Since I knew it’s going to be difficult with kids in tow, we opted to have a biking campaign around the village and UP campus.
Washing our bikes. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
First we washed our bikes and oiled them. We went to the vulcanizing shop and bike shop to change the interior tube of Twin A’s front wheel.
In solidarity with the people in Makati. Photo by CallMeCreation.comRested here for a bit. Then the girls did some speed biking until it was too dark to do it.Photo by CallMeCreation.comWater break. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Something’s wrong with the gear shifter in Twin A’s bike so I’m going to have it replaced tomorrow before we bike to another venue.
We had dinner at Rodic’s near Bahay ng Alumni. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
We were looking for the street food vendor near Oblation but it was already very dark and we couldn’t see them. We proceeded to Rodic’s near Bahay ng Alumni and had a quick dinner. The ambulant vendor-kid there was appealing to us to buy his heavy rice-based snacks. I felt bad so I bought one and I gave it to the other kid who was begging for food. Then the vendor-kid gave me Leni stickers. I gave him more money in exchange for the stickers.
Photo by CallMeCreation.com
We went around the community this afternoon and evening with this.
Screencap of a video by a friend.
I wanted to be there but as a mother of asthmatic kids, I cannot compromise their health by contracting Covid. I hope they’re all safe.
Yesterday, National Artist for Music Ryan Cayabyab initiated a flash mob at PowerPlant Mall in Rockewell. I am loving that artists are lending their talent for Leni.
I already paid for the girls’ school tuition this afternoon. Writing the check and handing that amount to the school cashier every May is always a leap of faith.
They will be having a hybrid setup where the children will be divided into batches: some kids will be physically in school on MW while the others are at home; then they will be at home for T-TH while the others will be in school. Thank you for small mercies like this because my kids are tired of online school. I would have been tired too if I were in their shoes.
I have also paid for their high school entrance exam review tonight. They will have the sessions starting June every weekday afternoon and by August through September they will be having it every Sunday, for 4 hrs every morning until noon.
Alongside that are their regular Kumon sessions.
Twin I complained that they already have too much on their plate. I told them that was nothing when I was their age. I had high school entrance exam review classes, Math tutorial, Sunday (Catholic Church) school, and Rondalla practices, piano lessons, and goodness knows what else. I rode public transport through all of these. I didn’t complain because it was expected of me and there’s this unspoken pressure that 1) must always be an honor student; 2) must pass UP high school and UP (college) or else I will fail my parents and bring them shame since my brother topped those exams; my older siblings always graduated with honors, if not valedictorian. I was not given a choice not to pass those exams. I was not given a choice not to be an honor student.
It was not an option.
My kids are luckier because they know I have a Plan B. My parents had no Plan B for me then. It was taboo. I was the only one among my siblings who didn’t take the Philippine Science High School exam because right off the bat I knew I will not pursue a science career. My other choice then was Philippine High School for the Arts but I was confused whether I would be pursuing theater then or creative writing so in the end I didn’t take the screenings, but I already had in my hand the application forms. In the end I just rested my entire future in one entrance exam and it was only now that I realized that I would have been truly fucked if I didn’t pass UP high. My mom said, just a few years ago, that she was confident that her children would pass. I just don’t know where she got the confidence that I would.
My kids are now pressured to choose what their career paths would be–Twin I came to me one night and told me she doesn’t know what high school track she should pursue. I told them they could be whatever they want. They wouldn’t know what they wanted to do in life even after they graduate from college. I told them some friends keep reinventing themselves 20 years after. So they shouldn’t lose their hair trying to figure out what they wanted to do because things change.
I was the rare person who knew at 16 what she wanted to do for the rest of her life. Twenty-six years after, I’m still doing it and I have no regrets.
This song by Sam Smith is so apt for me right now. I used to always downgrade myself, thinking that I didn’t deserve so and so things, this person, this…Blame it on low self-esteem growing up. It took me 40 years to realize that no, I’m not so bad after all. That I’m ok. Sometimes more than ok. If only I knew what I know now back when I was in my 20s, I could’ve saved me a lot of heartache and sorrow.
But then adulting is like that, isn’t it?
Have you ever felt like being somebody else? Feeling like the mirror isn’t good for your health? Every day I’m tryin’ not to hate myself But lately, it’s not hurtin’ like it did before Maybe I am learning how to love me moreIt used to burn Every insult, every word But it helped me learn (yeah) Self-worth I had to earn So I tried every night To sit with sorrow And eventually, it set me freeHave you ever felt like being somebody else? Feeling like the mirror isn’t good for your health? Every day I’m tryin’ not to hate myself But lately, it’s not hurtin’ like it did before Maybe I am learning how to love me moreJust a little bit (love me more) Just a little bit (love me more) Oh, no (love me more) Just a little bit (love me more)I used to cry myself to sleep at night I’d blame the sky when the mess was in my mind I couldn’t see, I couldn’t breathe So I sat with sorrow And eventually, it set me freeHave you ever felt like being somebody else? Feeling like the mirror isn’t good for your health? (If you have, let me hear you right now) Every day I’m tryin’ not to hate myself (yeah, yeah, yeah) But lately, it’s not hurtin’ like it did before (sweet child) Maybe I am learning how to love me moreJust a little bit (love me more) Just a little bit (love me more) Oh, I’m gonna try to (love me more) With a little bit of love (love me more)Love me more Love me more (just a little bit) Love me more (love me more) Love me moreOh, gonna love me more (gonna love me more) Oh, gonna love me more (yeah, yeah, yeah) Oh, gonna love me more (gonna love me more) (Oh) oh, gonna love me more
This is me while working, my cat Sushi joining me in my press conference.
Photo by CallMeCreation.com
The weekend is soon here. Saturday we will stick near our apartment because there will be a gigantic traffic jam as people will be gathering in Makati CBD, and the stage for the Leni x Kiko Grand Rally will be located at Ayala Ave cor Paseo de Roxas. I think this will attract one million people and will spill over to Edsa. The whole of Makati CBD will be clogged—there will be a domino effect so everything else is going to be frozen.
I wanted to go there, but my hotel reservations came a week earlier and I don’t have room in my budget this month for another staycation in the CBD area. My sister said it’s difficult to attend these rallies because you have no place to pee, it’s hot, and parking is a nightmare. My fear of Covid is winning over my FOMO (fear of missing out). My kids and I will just probably bike around with Leni x Kiko posters all over us.
And these text spams by Marcos? I fight back…
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I enjoy trolling them.
With Fabian Ver‘s daughter and Loren Legarda‘s son disowning what their parents did, I am hopeful that this generation and the generation of my daughters will continue to side with what is right.
Screen cap from Rappler.com
This story of Wanna Ver’s discovery, education, and later acceptance of the evil her father did is very powerful. I want to cry.
Wanna Ver is offering one apology at a time for the crimes her father helped commit, and stands by the accounts of victims and survivors
Fabian Ver is the second-most evil man after Marcos during the latter’s reign. He was the the berdugo, the executioner, during Marcos’ reign of terror.
Meanwhile, Lorenzo Leviste’s rejection of his mother’s political choice tore him apart and had to denounce it publicly.
‘My mother is an example of how fascism takes hold, is made acceptable, normalized, facilitated, ushered in’
I don’t like his brother (I interviewed him a couple of times), but this Lorenzo sounds like he has a good head on his shoulders.
Only a few days away…
My stomach is in knots.
To ease my anxiety, I continued with my bookmark painting.
Art of photo by CallMeCreation.com
The board paper does not absorb watercolors well so it was hard mixing colors and the gradation is quite messy. But it will do. Plus I’m legally blind. My contact lenses do not allow me to work at close range and I couldn’t take it off like I do with my eyeglasses. I had to take my contacts off when I lined this with Uni pin 0.5.
I can’t wait for my eyeglasses so I can go back to normal.
Speaking of anxiety, I went to a spa near my apartment to have a deep tissue massage on my shoulders, back, and neck. I could feel that I would be having a stiff neck tomorrow because my muscles in these areas are frozen. This despite having a 1.5-hr Zennya massage in Makati this weekend. The knots on my shoulders and back are so tight that it was so painful sleeping on my side.
At the neighborhood spa. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
I and my S.Korea boss were the only editors today so I had to edit some stories from Australia because of this. I submitted a story I wrote and of course no one picked it up. I guess everything has to wait until next week. If I remember it right, this week is Japan’s Golden Week as well, which coincides with China’s week-long holidays.
I doubt if I can work well next week when my whole body would be contorted with anxiety due to the elections.
A week from now, Filipinos will determine if we sink or rise from this disaster. I’m scared. I’m anxious but I’m hopeful.
The surveys that had been coming in are flawed. Several statisticians from UP and the former head of the National Statistics Coordination Board (NSCB, now part of the Philippine Statistics Administration) have already pointed out the methodology flaws of those surveys that they were structured to favor the class D which tended to favor Marcos.
Horror of horrors, in 7 out of the 17 regions, there are more registered voters for May 2022 than the population 18 years or over!!! The percentage of “over-registration” ranged from at least 1 percent to at most 11 percent. How on earth could this have happened?
Dr. Romulo Virola
Pulse Asia (PA) overrepresented those who did not reach college representing more than 78 percent of the PA sample and almost 70 percent of the PSA 2015 Census of Population and consequently underrepresented those who did:
Sampling bias by Pulse Asia, according to Dr. Virola
Meanwhile, I was arguing on Twitter with a Filipino journo based abroad for his crass words today. He has no idea what it is to be on the ground here. Now.
I can’t keep my words from flowing. The last time I couldn’t, I went viral on social media.
I was talking to my taxi driver this evening about Leni. Just one conversion is already a good one. Doing 10 conversions makes a world of difference.
Because I’m fighting for the future of my children. It’s not just for me or about me, unlike those people who are voting for Marcos who just say, I’m voting for him because I like him better than “lutang” (floating) Leni.
We are doing our best to change the mindset of the majority of the electorate who are not reached by social media and proper education.
Go mom! Photo by ArtCave
Here’s my mom yesterday talking to some rural folk somewhere in the middle of a farming community in the province, campaigning for Leni. Giving a talk and leading focus group discussions. There are millions of her doing this, volunteer on the ground campaigning, house-to-house visits to persuade people, correcting false information and propaganda.
Bills,bills,bills. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
It’s that time of the month again when I have to record/tally my expenses or trace where my money went. I always pay my credit cards in full every month. I don’t want consumer debt hanging over my head and I always make sure I have savings and petty cash for unexpected stuff like this:
Eyeglasses for us all. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
I lost my new eyeglasses. I don’t know where and how but I just couldn’t find it anymore. I had been wearing contact lenses the entire weekend and it’s only yesterday that I discovered my eyeglasses were missing.
Since I couldn’t live with wearing contacts full-time, I immediately went to my optometrist to have new eyeglasses made. I also had my girls’ and Ate C’s eyes checked. It’s not surprising they have astigmatism because of the amount of screen time we all had the past two years…so I had four pairs of eyeglasses made (Ooohh boy they’re not cheap!). Only Twin A’s were ready tonight and the rest will be picked up on Saturday because I ordered ultra thin lenses for us.
My girls will now join their four-eyed kuyas. 😁
Chasing each other with booger (eewww). Photo by CallMeCreation.com
My cats missed me. When we arrived home at 1:30 am today, my cats were all over me. Then they settled on my bed while I unpacked and searched all around for my missing eyeglasses. I slept at 4 am and I woke up at 9 am with my cats still in my bed. ❤️
SushiKimchiThey missed me! Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Today Southeast Asia is dead: Eid’l Fitr celebrations across Southeast Asia while Vietnam celebrates its liberation with a holiday that began April 30 until tomorrow. I had been sending requests for interviews again and I think I have several lined up for this week.
