Another office

Going out here allowed me to write a story in 30 mins. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

Being cooped up in my small room for days on end really does something to my psyche and productivity. I keep on working there because I’m spoiled by the dual monitors and I find it hard to edit stories without them. But once I got out of my room and transferred here, I was able to write a short article for 30 minutes. Wow!

I should try to write in the grassy field in the campus one of these days—if the weather permits.

Seeing the sky like this while I work is uplifting. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

I figured that I need to get out everyday to drive away the cobwebs in my head. This week I produced four stories, which is unusual, given my normal workload. I think the difference now is that I have the ability to be out in nature within minutes compared to when we were still in QC—which helps during productivity slumps.

I just realized that my existence in QC was poor given that I had no choice but to be locked up in that apartment because the environment outside was hostile. Cars, in utile sidewalks—if there are—and the unbearable heat makes one think twice about going out. It’s the perfect stage for one to be clinically depressed when she is dealing with post-breakup trauma while on a lockdown because access to nature was difficult. I tried my best though. I had my bike and my car so I can go to UP Diliman but it’s too much of an effort.

Meanwhile here, I have no excuse not to go out because it’s just right at my doorstep. Literally. And also going out into the wide open spaces only takes me five minutes or less, depending on my stride. Going to church only takes 10 minutes on foot. Same for the mom-and-pop shops. Starbucks is also 10 mins on foot.

Speaking of bikes, I should have our bikes fixed so we can bike for errands instead of bringing that car when parking is a huge problem here. Everyone has huge-ass SUVs but this old town is like Europe, the roads are made for calesas (horse-drawn carriages) and the local government can no longer widen the municipal roads because of the generations of families that have built structures along the roads. Moreover, there are no parking areas near commercial establishments. That’s why in high school, some classmates drove scooters instead of cars when going to school.

As for exercise, I can no longer take up running (I think I have forever busted my left knee, from an old football injury 23-25 years ago). I think that leaves me swimming as good cardio workout. I just learned from my sister that the university pool is open to alumni who want to use it everyday. I can add swimming to my weekly exercise regimen, if I find the time.

I must bring my cats for exercise. Right now they’re like this:

Kimchi looking like a cat with a bad hangover. Photo by Twin A.

I hope to wake up early tomorrow morning and see if I can swim at the university pool.


This is what the CEOs had been warning us about the past few months—2Q23 GDP was the slowest in 12 years due to inflation and rising interest rates that dampened consumer spending. The Philippine economy is 70% dependent on domestic spending and if that is hurting, the whole economy is running into trouble. One company chairman told me any strategic moves would have to be suspended because consumer companies are slapped with lower household spending, even on food. Monde Nissin, which has cornered 98% of the instant noodle market in the Philippines, took a big hit as its net income dipped 18% YoY. And to think Lucky Me is the de facto staple outside of rice in this country. This meant that Filipinos have tightened their belts even on staples. We ate less. Everything else followed.

The coming quarters would be difficult for us if the government would not be able to address the structural reforms needed to bring down the cost of food and other goods. Monetary policy can only do so much. Petroleum products are rising again and diesel has climbed by PHP 4 a liter just this week. Last week was PHP 3.50 per liter. As a net importer of oil, this meant that our transportation—the jeepneys and buses—would have to hike fares again while our electricity costs would again climb.

The economy is taking a lot of beating. I wonder how the rest of the country can hold on.

The last hurrah before turning into a slave again

Art and photo by CallMeCreation.com

Again, I didn’t have the patience to do sketches before watercoloring. I just stayed loose because I’m lazy and I was just going with the flow, with what I’m feeling. I just followed where the water was going.

I wish I could be like that in real life. However, I can’t because I’m in charge of the lives of two people who are completely dependent on me. I have to be organized and responsible so I won’t fuck up their lives and end up therapy. The only time I can be loose and free is when I watercolor like this. Even when I travel, I say “whatever, I’ll just go with whatever I feel like,” but in truth there are a lot of planning involved there. I’m just not rigid.

So this is my last hurrah before I go back to work tomorrow. Put my nose on the grinding stone again. Then pack our little things in between so I can drive these stuff to my house in bits and pieces…

Speaking of my house, my contractor gave me the bill for the construction work for my laundry area and a separate bill for the waterworks i.e. pressure tanks, etc. I hope these are the last of it because anything more than that means I would have to draw down on my moneymarket UITF. 🤦🏻‍♀️ Good thing I still have enough free cash/retained earnings to tide me by without touching my investments again.

It’s hard to adult.

Psychosomatic

It turns out nothing is wrong with me. My bad cholesterol, uric acid, and triglycerides are back to normal from their stratospheric heights in 2021 while my blood sugar (both FBS and hba1c) remains normal. My major organs are fine (unremarkable, the interpretations said). So what’s the deal with my stomach pain that knocked the wind out of me?

It’s stomach acids, not the pancreas, my attending physician said. If I respond to the drug he gave me, then it’s acids. If I don’t, then it’s likely ulcer and I need an endoscopy to ascertain it. But my GI specialist isn’t that perturbed because there is no bleeding or signs that I am at that point. He just gave me an order for the pancreas scan if I wanted to but he says it’s not needed unless I get another similar attack. I will have that scan because stomach acids cannot explain the pain that radiated to my back.

Shit! It’s really stress. It’s eating me alive.

I am really, really done for.

And you know what’s the tragic thing here? They don’t f*cking care if you die. You’re just another tool. Another cog. You are replaceable.

Just like our in-house legal counsel. He had cancer and he worked himself to death. He loved his job because he was a journalist first and then a lawyer second. He bit the bullet for us whenever we had lawsuits. And now, he is forgotten. The new management didn’t even get to know him.


I checked my house first before going to the hospital this afternoon.

This staircase will be torn down soon. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Digging deep for the expanded base for my new industrial strength staircase. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
The outside night light. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
I can finally close my bathroom door as my granite countertop has been trimmed. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Finally, a proper window. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
The shelves on the tapered side of the counter. For toiletries maybe? Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Cabinet for toilet paper and cleaning supplies. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Bookshelves/lookout platform for my cats. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

I strolled a bit to go to the jeepney stop because it’s better to take public transport than bring my car. I don’t want to fight for parking space at the hospital. The campus is teeming with students again after almost 3 years. The first semester was hybrid so it was still like a ghost town here from August to December.

The students are back for the second semester. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

I decided to go back to QC early (3 pm) since traffic was light and took the mountain bypass road that I had grown to love through the years.

Faculty housing on my right. My bro didn’t move from their apartment to a three-bedroom housing unit because he didn’t want to maintain a lawn. His own townhouse now doesn’t have any lawn or garden at all. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Driving through a secondary forest. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

Maybe moving back here is the right choice. My stress is not as pronounced compared to when I’m back at my apartment in QC. Maybe because I’m cooped up in there. Maybe because I’ve always been a provinciana that the knots in my whole body uncoil when I see trees.

Mental health break

I just finished some spillover work this morning and didn’t bother to help with the edits today. I NEED TO DISENGAGE.

So that’s what I did. By 2 pm after my girls have finished washing the dishes and cleaned the kitchen, we drove south to my hometown to catch the annual February Fair.

But we first checked my tiny house.

My bathroom pendant lights are finally working. I finally have electricity. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
The corner of the granite countertop for my lavatory needs trimming or else I won’t be able to close the bathroom door. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Built-in shelves for the girls’ room. Their loft beds will be delivered next week. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Wall fan and curtain rods installed. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
My walk-out closet. I have a bit of space above the closet for my luggage. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Kitchen almost done, with the powerful Rinnai rangehood already installed. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Dining area pendant lights look cute. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Another angle. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Double kitchen sink finally done. All I need is to be connected to the mains to have water.

Tomorrow I’ll take pics of the outside.

After our house tour, we walked to the fair grounds since it’s so near and it’s more of a hassle to bring the car.

Short cut to the park/fair grounds. We used to call this The Dirt Road but it’s no longer a dirt road since it’s already a fully concrete road now. I used this road a lot to run to my 7 am comm and humanities classes. And computer science class. Why did I even have 7 am classes? 🤦‍♀️ Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Walk, walk, walk… Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Early evening at the park. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Inside the fair grounds. Of course, anime. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Cosplayers, to the delight of my girls. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
At the concert grounds. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Live music. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
My girls are enjoying their first open air concert. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

Tomorrow I have to wake up early to queue at my gynecologist’s clinic: Mammogram, pap smear, order for executive check up and referral to a gastroenterologist. AND I might as well go all the way, have my osteoma checked by another specialist and schedule for removal.

Change of scenery

Oh hello, Maria. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

Mission accomplished. I finally applied for water connection this morning and the utility company’s engineering team went to my house in the afternoon to arrange the right of way issues. Once that’s out of the way by tomorrow and after I paid for the connection fee and bond, my house will be connected to the mains.

Now, next on the agenda is Converge connection. I already told their corp comm head about my intention to transfer my account from here in QC to my new house. HOWEVER, I still can’t do it because I’m still using my line here. Oh well, let’s see how that could that be arranged…

Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Photo by CallMeCreation.com

After the darkness of my current bathroom, my new bathroom seems very bright. My current water heater is still perfectly fine so I will pull it out of this apartment and transfer it here instead of buying a new one.

Cleaning up the floor tile.

I opted to keep the original tiles, to mimic Vigan tiles of the old houses there. Plus these are very durable so I don’t need to worry about dinging it–or worse, cracking it–like when you have the shiny porcelain ones. The girls’ loft beds will arrive on the 22nd so hopefully by then I will have an idea of how much space will be left for the storage system I will be buying from Ikea for their room.

Photo by CallMeCreation.com

Only a few days more before the kitchen cabinets are done.

Photo by CallMeCreation.com

They will start with the welding works next week so this house will be inaccessible for quite a bit since they will remove the old staircase and manufacture a new industrial- sttength one. After that, I can start moving the books and the kitchen stuff that we don’t normally use.

Tea break. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

After finishing a call and uploading one digest for publication, I walked around for a bit at 5 pm to buy my girls cookies from my favorite pastry shop and hopped to Infinitea. Then I went to the university park for some air and to drink my milk tea in peace.

Photo by CallMeCreation.com

My sis-in-law later joined me here and we talked until 8 pm, which was a good time to drive back north (1.5 hrs). The change of scenery has done me good, in the sense that I feel I can write a long article tomorrow.

That’s the thing with writing, if your brain is not ready, then no matter how you try, you can’t really force words to drip out of every orifice of your body. It’s like extracting blood out of stone.

Hopefully, I can finish the story tomorrow because our marketing team in Japan is ready to tweet it next week. Talk about pressure…

Meanwhile, today’s soundtrack is brought to you by Breaking Benjamin. I had been playing it while driving (to and from my hometown) so that I can keep myself awake.

Evil Angel

Hold it together
Birds of a feather
Nothing but lies and crooked wings
I have the answer
Spreading the cancer
You are the faith inside me

No
Don’t leave me to die here
Help me survive here alone
Don’t remember
Remember

Put me to sleep evil angel
Open your wings evil angel

I’m a believer
Nothing could be worse
All these imaginary friends
Hiding betrayal
Driving the nail
Hoping to find a savior

No
Don’t leave me to die here
Help me survive here alone
Don’t surrender
Surrender

Put me to sleep evil angel
Open your wings evil angel
Fly over me evil angel
Why can’t I breathe evil angel?

Put me to sleep evil angel
Open your wings evil angel
Fly over me evil angel
Why can’t I breathe evil angel?

This song, Evil Angel, sounds like it’s about substance abuse, which Ben Burnley has written extensively about in some Breaking Benjamin’s songs. He battled alcoholism for a while and he was almost a non-functional alcoholic. His health issues today are a result of his battle with the the bottle. Dear Agony album’s cover was Ben’s brain scan after he was diagnosed with “wet brain” or Wernicke-Korsakoff Syndrome due to alcohol abuse.

More than the heavy guitar riffs, what attracts me to Breaking Benjamin are the melodies and the relatable words, which echo in your mind especially if you have suffered from depression and substance abuse. Lucky are the people who did not have to suffer such things. They shouldn’t judge because they have no idea how we survivors are able to get out of our hellhole. They have no idea how it is to live without proper sleep for months…in my case, two years. It’s kind of sad that the only respite I had then was Covid.

I first listened to Breaking Benjamin when I still didn’t have kids. Then “I Will Not Bow” became my anthem while I was trying to keep myself together while my girls were battling with life and death in the ICU.

After going through the difficult recent two years, I could relate more to BB’s songs. Thanks to therapy, my faith, and friends, I got past it.

Little changes

It’s a new year and I have again changed the position of my bed, hopefully this can help with my very problematic sleep. I also wanted to have my workstation removed from a vulnerable position i.e. back facing the door, because there were many instances when my girls walked in during my calls because I forgot to lock my door. Even though I have my virtual background on, it’s still unnerving to have them walk in on my calls and webinars unannounced.

So this is the first thing you will see when you enter my room. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
My bed is at the farthest corner of my room. CallMeCreation.com

I could have turned the bed perpendicular to the window…but that was the old position of my bed and it carries undesirable memories, so nope. I would have gotten more space with the old bed position–but nope.

My workstation’s back is facing a less vulnerable position. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
But the background is still not Zoom-worthy. I have to stick to virtual backgrounds for interviews. Photo via webcam.
Hopefully this is a cozier spot for the bed so I can have better sleep quality. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

I’m going to miss these big white walls where I can put a lot of artworks and photos. My tiny house has limited wall space for such things so I have to rotate frames depending on my mood.


There are now 50 individuals (mostly from government agencies) who have signed up for the data analytics training I helped organize with the graduate school of my university. That number includes my friends. The dean told me that they are prioritizing my group when it comes to scheduling since it was my idea to have this training for journos/communicators.

The unfortunate thing here is I could not commit yet to specific dates because of my travel itinerary, which still hangs by a thread. What is definite is that I need to to go to Singapore in April; I would have to assign the Bangkok coverage (two conferences) to my senior reporters in May because I would be moving houses (5 days off). I decided that I would only use 5 days off in December 2023 so I can have 5 days off for that training then another 5 days off in October for my birthday leave (that hopefully I can finally use for travel abroad).

Or I can ask for a study leave since this is a legit professional training.

Let’s see.


I didn’t work today. I could have but I decided not to. I declared my own holiday. Well, none from Southeast Asia i.e. Philippines submitted a story anyway. So what did I do the entire day? I really don’t know. It’s surprising how I can pass the day without remembering what I did. I think I watched videos of watercolor painting the entire day???

And I was also planning in my head how I would place the furniture in my tiny house so that required a lot of daydreaming.

Because I could manipulate spaces in my head, my contractor told me that I saved myself about PHP 20k since I was able to draw my plans in 1D but could still picture in my head how my sketch would translate to 3D or in the actual space. We were able to understand each other when I was showing him on-site where and how things will be positioned. If I didn’t have the capacity to imagine the spaces in my head, he would have to have the plans rendered in AutoCAD/Autodesk or Sketchup, which is an extra expense. Maybe it runs in the family 🤔. My uncle is an architect and he designed the blueprint of my parents’ house. It didn’t enter my mind to try my hand at architecture or interior design but I have always been interested in it. I always thought I didn’t have a knack for it.

Now that I have designed my own house, I think I can say I did it!

I would just have to invite my uncle to my housewarming to show it off and see his reaction. 🤣

Photo by CallMeCreation.com