I arrived early at the conference today because 1) I wanted to do ambush interviews so I can go home and avoid Marcos; 2) I didn’t read the program 😂
I really did it. I wore pink accessories in silent protest. The Leni R watch was very obvious.
Pink!
I had four interviews, four stories, and a follow-up interview. Not bad.
I left the venue right after lunch so I won’t have to suffer Marcos.
Went to Ikea to 1) eat at the cafe and write my stories; 2) buy household stuff that I neglected to buy a long time ago. Their shipping rate of PHP 300 for small items is too much so might as well go there when I have coverage nearby. I almost carted off a kitchen sink and ceiling lamps 🤣. I need to check first with my contractor.
The pediatrician already gave me Rx for it yesterday, as she anticipated.
What’s curious is that Twin I also has aplastic left frontal sinus, which I hope is just a developmental issue that will correct over time. But then I have to wait for what the doctor will say. The rest of her sinuses are intact, the report said.
Her hematology results are normal except for her RBC count, which is above normal. If I got it right, she couldn’t breathe, hence the low O2 level. Which could be traced to her congested nose.
Her prothrombin time test is normal, so blood clotting is normal. Her nose bleeding could be traced back to her undetected sinusitis that irritates her nose and causes too much mucus production. When it dries up, my girl picks her nose vigorously and there you go—bleeding. 😑 So just like the pediatrician said, her membranes might be thinner than normal.
Tired. Need to pick up Rockwool insulation/soundproofing tomorrow and deliver to the construction site. And write two more stories before I bounce off to my week-long vacation.
If I didn’t go crazy before my APAC boss this afternoon and subtly threatened that I would go to the competitor if the company goes with its 6-month contract bullshit for non-office-based employees, she wouldn’t push the red button in London. Ghaaaad. Some calls and emails later, the global head said that there were some fuck-ups in HR that’s why our contracts were flagged again.
Ignore, she said.
I hate doing that to my APAC boss because she’s nice but my goodness, I need to stand up for myself and the rest of my team. I am underpaid compared to my peers in other news orgs. I am just sticking with this one because I like working from home, especially critical now that I am building my house and moving away from the city.
Let me just finish my house and I will revisit my options. I need to play hardball; if they would touch again our contracts, then I will have to ask for a much higher rate because the terms would be changed. The amount of work and the stress they are giving me should be compensated.
Art and photo by CallMeCreation.com
I was so incensed today that I procrastinated. My brain refused to function so I did a quick sketch to relax me.
I really, really need that week-long break. I’m already too tensed, my patience is running thin.
My gear for urban sketching.
Doing the new color swatches relaxed me, too. I removed the student-grade Tokyo Finds watercolors and left the higher grade ones from the same brand, with Winsor & Newton and Holbein thrown in the mix. I wanted to go to ArtWhale this afternoon to buy more half-pans but I had to bring Twin I to the polyclinic nearby to have her checked.
At the nurses’ station at 2ndF, waiting for Twin I’s name to be called to the pediatrician’s office. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Her temperature was elevated but I refused to administer the antigen test because she has sensitive nostrils = ridiculous nosebleeds. She was frequently urinating. So the pediatrician recommended some lab tests to check for UTI and also to check the cause of her severe nosebleeds (she lets out a lot of fresh blood, like lots). She had her nose X-rayed to check for polyps.
Waiting for our turn at the x-ray room. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Then she would be referred to an ENT specialist if there are polyps. She surmised—as a nosebleeder herslf—that Twin I has sinusitis that’s why she always has mucus in her nostrils. Later it hardens and then my girl frequently picks her nose to remove the hardened mucus, then irritates her thin membrane in the process, causing her nose to bleed. She saw that her nostrils were inflamed.
Anyway, lab test results would be out tomorrow but I would be attending this huge conference in Manila so I need to leave here at 6:30 am. Because the presidential security group will close the doors of the hotel promptly at 9 am—for security. BECAUSE DAMN THESE BUSINESSMEN, THEY INVITED MARCOS AS GUEST SPEAKER.
I don’t know how I can stand to be in the same room with this demon. He who wanted the people in EDSA strafed during the 1986 uprising. He who milked this country of billions when he was a senator and I was part of the investigative team who tackled the pork barrel case for my news org. I still have the photos of the evidence submitted to the anti-graft court in 2013.
I must shove my earbuds down my ear canal to block out his voice during his speech, which would be drivel anyway.
This is how fucked up we are. We still do not have a Department of Health secretary. The rollout for the boosters for children has halted. My kids are partially vaccinated (still no boosters yet).
Then we have a secretary of justice who lacks delicadeza that he wouldn’t resign from his post even if his 38-year-old son was arrested and taken into custody for possessing kilograms of illegal drugs. And he is one of the instigators/staunch supporters of tokhang—the war on drugs in which a lot of poor innocent children like Kian delos Santos were killed without mercy because of baseless accusation that they were drug users. Remulla’s son is not going to use the kilos of drugs by himself, right? And yet they insist he is no drug pusher/runner. Calls for Remulla’s resignation went unheeded. How do we know he’s not using his power to influence the case of his overgrown baby?
Only the rich and the powerful can get due process and always get away scott-free. This tweet from a reporter-friend proves that.
The Remulla son was arrested on 11 Oct. The news came out 13 Oct. They deliberately withheld the information until the rumors could no longer contain the information. When the story went public, the Remullas—who had reigned over Cavite for a looooooooooooooooooooong time, initially denied any connection.
And journalist Atom Araullo, like the rest of the rest of us in the industry, called out this special treatment.
WTF are we supposed to do???
I’m so tired.
Then we have police–even in civilian clothes–knocking on the doors of journalists’ homes in the guise of “following orders from above to ensure we are safe” after the death of journalist who is a vocal critical of Marcos and Duterte.
They’re really out there to intimidate us, to scare us.
My occupation in my insurance policies is WRITER. If I put JOURNALIST, my premiums would be higher.
Why Philippines? Why areyou just accepting this? Why are you condoning the Marcoses’ and the Dutertes’ excesses and you let yourself suffer like this? Why??? My heart bleeds. I think I will die heartbroken because you let yourself be enslaved by your stupidity.
It’s really exhausting if I absorb everything that I see and read. I know it’s such a privilege to turn my head away and pretend these things don’t happen. But sometimes doing so is necessary for my mental health, especially today when I read that a former Supreme Court justice who is now the new Executive Secretary defending Marcos’ wastage of public funds (bringing along bloggers and other hangers on) to watch F1 in Singapore. I want to remind Mr. Bersamin that there is a law that prohibits government officials from using public funds or whatever from doing such thing/s. Singapore has been holding F1 for so many years but no sitting Philippine president has accepted the invitation of the Singapore government because 1) they know the law; 2) it is blasphemy to waste public funds (or even private money because the public perception is bad) on such frivolous things when the country has just emerged from a natural calamity and the citizens could barely eat , with the latest inflation rate is at 6.9%.
Oh yes, we’re back to Marcos-era macroeconomic situation = stagnant growth, high inflation (called stagflation), weak currency, and FDIs are disappearing.
I’m angry but I’m tired of being angry. Maybe living in my hometown will help me tame my anger. Maybe the trees and absence of air pollution will calm my very busy mind. Maybe regular cycling around my hometown and nearby towns would help ease the tension I often harbor because I get affected by macro and micro news, about things that I have no control over. More frequent visits to the sea to dive or Lake Caliraya to camp will remind me of the little things that make living here worthwhile.
I no longer know how to use my platform, my pen (keyboard) to help change the situation. They’re killing journalists like me and they will continue doing that. They have already killed ABS-CBN. Now they’re silencing individual media workers.
I don’t know how long I can take this with my sanity intact.
Let me just do my indoor exercises first so I can ruminate. Maybe my pent-up fury can be expended by dumb bell lifts.
I still have a long way to go. Long, long way to go.
We’re just 1 centavo away from PHP 59:USD 1. Before this month ends, the forex will be PHP 60, which beat my brother’s estimate. The cost of powdered milk has jumped PHP 200+ for the pack that I usually buy. We import our milk from New Zealand or Australia because we don’t have enough cattle or rolling lands here for commercial-scale milk and beef production. This is bad for those with infants and toddlers who still need milk.
I was supposed to draw down one of my investments last month but I hesitated because I still didn’t have a full estimate for my house’s construction. Today I lost 50k (paper losses) for that specific investment just because I didn’t have the foresight to withdraw it then. I was being greedy as well, thinking that the markets may bounce back pre-3Q22 corporate financial earnings reports.
HOW F*CKING WRONG I WAS.
Now ECB President Christine Lagarde (*I met her when she was still the IMF Chief and visited the Philippines* 😉) just said that recession is imminent this winter in the eurozone. UK tax cuts would only aggravate the situation and we would be bouncing to a global recession by next year. Actually, we should be in recession now since consumers had been closing their wallets for while now due to the incessant quickening of inflation.
The typhoon also flattened the food basket of Luzon. It’s rice harvesting season now but the typhoon destroyed all rice farms in its path. Prices of local and imported (as declared by the rice cartel of Thailand and Vietnam) will further climb.
AND YET…
Marcos just tweeted and posted on FB how “successful” his NY visit was. Their inept social media machinery showed spliced videos and photos of his speech before the UNGA to show there was an audience. But the truth photos shot by professional photographers showed that delegates walked out on Marcos.
His US trip didn’t gain any investment pledge. But he watched an Eric Clapton concert and went shopping while the rest of the country is being battered by Typhoon Karding. Rescuers in Bulacan died doing their duty.
He made this government trip a family affair because this is the first time his family can step on US soil because they were banned for decades because of their numerous crimes and convictions. But because of US law that states that this ban does not extend to head of states. 😤
Everyone else in the world are asking us why did the Marcoses come back? The Germans said they could not even imagine having Hitler back so how come Filipinos allow it?
BECAUSE WE ARE STUPID, DRUNK THE FACEBOOK KOOL-AID.
Ghad, I could punch every person who voted for this brainless BabyM. He’s as incoherent as Duterte, but in English. If there was an Asian version of a dumb blonde, he could be the perfect representative.
I keep on telling myself not to open my Twitter and yet I couldn’t help it because I needed to check the tweets from the financial markets in the US, UK, and eurozone. Today was no better.
This after scrolling through Twitter this morning.
The Marcos trolls and the Sara Duterte trolls (they’re different breeds) are doubly offensive today, trying to cover the incompetence of both officials in light of this latest calamity.
It’s so tiring. I mean, this is the reason we can’t have nice things here in the Philippines. The great unwashed and the equally morally corrupt upper class keep voting for these monsters because they have no regard for others.
I’m tired.
Ang hirap mo mahalin, Pilipinas! Kelan kaya kita maiiwan para maka-usad na ako sa buhay ko? Sana lumaki na lang ako na walang pakialam para hindi ganito kabigat ang dibdib ko araw-araw na nilulustay ka ng mga kawatan.
Ah, Megawide has de-risked itself because it plays fair; because of that it is now being eased out of the dirty, regulated infrastructure business of the Philippines. And the best entity to sell to is a Marcos crony—Aboitiz. Group CEO Sabin Aboitiz is super chummy with Marcos Jr so I wouldn’t be surprised if he comes out as the “next Dennis Uy”, the favorite businessman of a sitting president. During Duterte’s reign, Uy was like Pacman, gobbling everything in is his path. Government contracts were his for the taking. Now he is being chased by creditors and is set to sell most of his assets because NONE of the promised support from China pushed through. His telco, DITO Telecommunity, is looking for a buyer for Uy’s stake. The problem is, no one wants to sleep with China Telecom, Uy’s JV partner.
I can’t write such things as straightforward as this but I try my best to inject some of these insights in my stories—but I know I’m pushing the envelope. I take that risk because the investing community should be aware of the political dynamics we have here. That’s a service that cannot be quantified by our CRM but is valuable to our readers, as I was told by some of them.
It has been raining nonstop even in the absence of a typhoon. I feel I’m ballooning again so I need to walk tomorrow or something. I need to be back in shape for a marathon networking in Singapore in November. The big bosses will be flying down from London. And oh, I must bring an evening dress (*OMG I need one that fits me) because there would be an awards night for ***.
Speaking of work, my most senior but least productive reporter told me he would like to step back and have a different arrangement, like a per-article basis freelancer status because he acknowledged that he could not meet his quota.
Now this poses a big problem for me because since top management is NOT prioritizing hiring of new reporters or editors (only a senior North America editor), losing one headcount means it would not replaced. I lose it, then I lose it. As it is, competition in the region is heating up. Other news organizations are finally catching on and realized my niche is lucrative so they’re building up their own team dedicated for this niche.
I cannot lose more people.
I was having back-to-back calls today with my seniors to solve this conundrum. I also need to arrange to have my team fly to Singapore in the first week of December for a year-end training that I would be conducting. 🥴
Because I was preoccupied with admin concerns, I wasn’t able to write again my stories that have been pushed back a couple of weeks and months now. I also need to see a doctor for my left knee that has been hurting now. I don’t know if this is an old football injury that I aggravated during my walks in my hometown the a few weeks ago. I also need to bring Twin I to a pediatrician for her nosebleeds. They’re getting worse now.
How to shoehorn these doctor visits in between all these work pressures? I need to attend a conference tomorrow or on Thursday and I have a lunch meeting with some bankers and another set of bankers in the evening on Friday.
Oh geez and I need to book that resort in Batangas for that beach holiday at the end of the month.
Wait, I still need to follow up my travel arrangements and visa application for Korea.
I need to breathe.
What have I been doing? I don’t know, I haven’t been keeping track. I’m having a hard time finding mental space for all the important things to do. I only have two hands and finite amount of brain cells to balance being a manager for Southeast Asia (which is a lot of work), being a specialized journalist, a mother, and a future homeowner who needs to build her home, and at the same time I must take care of myself if I want to live beyond the age of 42.
Maybe I should cancel that Korea trip. Maybe I just take a week off in October and just go to Palawan to go island-hoping and dive for a week and burn to a crisp.
Yes, I think I should do that.
I don’t think that Korea trip with my friends is that compelling anyway. They’re planning to go to Busan when I haven’t even explored Seoul. 😶 Maybe I’ll just do that next year when it’s less hectic.
