Top Gun

It was every boy’s fantasy to be part of Top Gun after it was shown some thirty-plus years ago—my brother included. The aerial dog fights and anything about flying jet planes tickled their imagination. So I guess my brother is looking forward to watching Top Gun: Maverick. I also remember a poster of Top Gun Tom Cruise in the old house I grew up in…I asked my older sister why she put that up and she said she can’t remember why 😂 I’m thinking twice if I should brave watching this movie in theaters but this kind of movie should be watched on the big screen. I’m wary of being in enclosed spaces because Covid is still very much with us. One of the reporters in my bureau was reinfected with Covid, two months after of getting it in February. I don’t want to get bogged down by Covid again. It was just a nasty experience.


https://www.instagram.com/p/Cb55eZZBCw4/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

THIS!!! Louder for the people at the back!!!

This is the reason why it’s better to completely heal first instead of using another person to “heal”/forget. To basically rebound. You’re still being toxic yourself so it’s gonna be hard to have a healthy relationship with anybody who still carries a lot of baggage.

Some friends don’t understand. It’s not me just holding on to the past; it’s me trying to be healthy first before anything else. I need to learn to completely love myself first before I love another person outside my immediate circle. But I’m not doing this with the goal of meeting a new person. I’m doing this for myself because I OWE it to myself. I’ve been through so much shit and it’s about time I prioritize me.

So right now I’m trying to start my week with good vibes. Like this, a clean workspace to motivate me to be productive on Mondays.

I bought a new desk mat because I’m tired of my mouse pad moving around my table. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

These are the little things I regularly do to love myself and appreciate life again.

Tomorrow I may go to Marikina to look around a pottery maker’s showroom for reasonably priced decorative clay pots and pedestals.

Pink is the color of tomorrow! Photo by CallMeCreation.com

My big roses have started to bloom again. Lots of patience and moving around of pots to learn the optimal sun exposure and watering frequency of these flowering plants. Good things come with patience. You can’t just rush things.

While the world is busy with Ukraine and its effect on each region, Myanmar has been largely ignored these days. The Myanmar central bank suddenly came out with a directive regarding forex:

A Myanmar resident, who asked not to be named for security reasons, expressed concern about being able to access their deposited savings and how much could be withdrawn.

“If we can’t withdraw, everything we earn will be stuck in the bank,” the resident said.

The official central bank exchange rate for the kyat is currently 1,850 per dollar, but this tends to be well below the unofficial black market rate.

Myanmar central bank says FX deposits must be converted into kyat, Nikkei Asia

The country’s economy is spiraling down further. It’s hard to do my reportage remotely when nobody is willing to talk to me, even anonymously.

silhouette of hot air balloons
Balloons over Bagan, Myanmar. Photo by Boris Ulzibat on Pexels.com

Looking forward to the Holy days next week. Metro Manila will be empty of people eager to go to the provinces as they do their revenge travel. The beaches will be teeming with people. As for me, I’m staying put since I know the provincial roads will be super clogged with SUVs. Maybe the girls and I can go to the Intramuros churches to do visita iglesia and at the same time I can do sketching. We can bring our bikes. We can also bike along Roxas Boulevard, along Manila Bay.

light city art street
Manila Cathedral. Photo by Gerald Escamos on Pexels.com

Before that, I still need to help them review for their upcoming tests and I’m giving them some pointers for their music lessons.

My drawing for my girls’ music lesson. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

Now I know why I had to go through those rigorous piano lessons and rondalla practices all those years: so I can teach my children music down the road. 🤔 I even had to teach them how to properly write a G clef. One day they will learn how to transcribe music notation on music staff, the least favorite of my duties as a music student 🎹 and glee club member.

After the first batch of their final exams, we will be celebrating the girls’ 11th birthday. I need to order food before everything closes down for the Holy Week.

Lazy Sunday

Lunch/dinner. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

I slept earlier than usual last night but I still woke up at 10 am. The only thing I did today was to grill these pork chops and then repotted some plants in pots that are not draining well. Also planted some marigolds, calendula, aster, and leeks. I have more luck growing flowering plants than vegetables but let’s see again if I can grow leeks, which I consume a lot in a week.

In between, I helped my daughters review their music lesson—textures and dynamics—which they had trouble with because it’s hard understanding triads, monotones, etc through remote teaching without a piano accompaniment. So I told them they should take advantage of their mom who knows a thing or two about music. I demonstrated to them the lessons with the help of my piano playing, Youtube, and Spotify.

It was already 5:30 pm when I was done with the garden. I took a long, luxurious shower, and rested while I was booking a Zennya massage. Then I fell asleep again! I don’t know what’s my body trying to tell me but maybe it’s making up for weeks/months of not being able to properly sleep. It seems like my mental state is more relaxed now after a tumultuous February so my body has uncurled from its formerly tense and rigid state. Thank God for that! I pray that this will continue so I can move on to bigger things like starting to build my new flat.

And no Zennya. I couldn’t book a massage therapist. It seems like everybody is spending lazy Sundays like I do.

I am resisting the urge to do more DIYs around here but this guy is convincing me to buy that jigsaw and do more magic.

In the meantime, I’m finishing the curtains for the house to block out the intense sunlight and to replace the ones mangled by my cats 🐱😹

Nearly done with this last curtain panel…Photo by CallMeCreation.com

I’m starting to love weekends again ❤️❤️❤️

Smart beefcake

Not only is he a great dad with sense of humor and a loving husband, he is also a smart beefcake, too. I had been following his Instagram for 4 years now and he is really hands-on with this Centrfit company he has built with his partners. He road-tests the exercises personally that he or his partners devise for this platform. I didn’t try it when he offered a 30-day trial because the exercises are hardcore or high-impact that can shatter my knees.


Read the rest of the thread on Twitter.

As I posted on my FB wall:

Please read this Twitter thread. This is scary Please get out of your echo chambers. Reach out to the people in your communities.This is extremely disturbing. The enemy is really well versed in the art of black ops. Hiring microinfluencers to shape the psyche of the C, D, E markets who do not have the access to fact checkers because it requires money (data, airtime load, smart phone) to access Tsek.ph.

“When I heard about them hiring micro influencers, I just thought of them as, perhaps, a message conduit, but receiving these questions (lalo na yung most recent. I mean? Saan nanggaling yung ipapatanggal ang ambulant vendors?), kinilabutan ako.”–@hannahbarrantes

As I said during the interview in ________, those in the lower economic level are not being reached by the truth brigade. The battle against “fake news” should be approached at the grassroots level. Apply the different communication tools in AKAP principle in social marketing (Awareness, Knowledge, Attitude, Practice). This should not just be a bullet way of using mass media/social media . We’re only scratching the surface and we are failing in the first step–making people aware. Graduates of _________ know what I’m talking about when I say social marketing concepts for rural development. Same principles.

I’m getting tired. This is the longest election season I experienced. I was just chatting with one of my BFFs and she said if BongBong Marcos wins, they will no longer come back to the Philippines from their vacation in Australia and just process their immigration papers from there. Another former colleague already left for Canada, never to come back.

These are educated people. Brain drain. If Marcos wins, there will be an exodus of skilled and educated Filipinos.


This is what we do on Friday nights.

Twin A applying facial mask on me. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

Twin A bought me facial masks from SaveMore. I don’t know why but she did. And she insisted that she put it on me tonight to help me relax after work. Since she used her own money for this gift, I obliged.

No filters. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

Clean face, pampered with love from my daughter. Nothing can beat that.

Yes, I’m already 42 years old and damn proud of it. If he finds me old, then he has a problem, it’s not me who’s the problem.

Seeing good in people

Giving people the benefit of the doubt sent me to the deeper end and it always, ALWAYS had been detrimental to me. I justify my love for them that’s why I give them allowances.

Took me so much hurt and rude awakening to realize he is an evil person. I had been making excuses in my head, searching for the good in him but I ignored the big glaring fact that he is what he is.

Learned the hard way.


Let me tell you another story. This one is less political.

So my ex-husband has had this penchant for cheating on me even before we got married. Why I stuck with him, I don’t know. Maybe I was there to prove something, like I can turn him around/rehabilitate him or what. Anyway, this story is not about that.

There was this girl who kept on messaging him on his mobile phone. One day she called. I answered it. Told her I was the wife of M. She threw expletives at me and among the many things thrown at me, all I could remember was she was a gf or something—whatever. I shouted at my bf (at that time) and threw his phone, broke it and flushed the SIM down the toilet.

I learned that my bf/ex-husband didn’t lose contact with his gfs and he kept them all on the side, you know, “in case of emergency.” (Among the other life skills I learned was to hack into his emails and his phone to discover his indiscretions). I stalked this girl online for a long, long time and messed up her blogs and so on and so forth. My investigative journo skills were in full mode at that time. What bothered me was that this girl looked like me, my brother said. At that time she was a call center agent. I learned that she took up a course under the UP College of Mass Communication but got kicked out of the program and had to relocate to a faraway campus, got into another program where her grades were more acceptable. Anyway, with the rise of social media, she became more visible to me. What’s funny is that because she is so in love with herself, she didn’t even bother making her social media accounts private.

I no longer have a beef with her right now and out of curiosity as to what she’s up to, I searched for her online. It seems like she lives on the outskirts of BGC, one of the condos there on the edge because I think one of the views from her window faces Taguig and she hangs out at BGC a lot. There was one time there was an art fair at Bonifacio High Street and she had a booth there and I came face to face with her. She probably doesn’t have any idea who I was but I fully knew who she was. She is this artsy-fartsy thing who does art commissions, or so she tries to project on her social media posts. She hangs out in coffee shops around BCG and does art on her tablet.

I think she’s a perfect target for someone like J. I wouldn’t be surprised if he gets to pick her up randomly.

It’s just a wild thought but I know she would be a good fit because she’s shiny, she’s superficial, and she knows how to project herself. He likes superficial things. They’re exactly the same age.

It was just unfortunate that I gave my unconditional love to somebody like that. It’s hard getting it back, hence, my emotional bankruptcy. A PR professional friend messaged me on FB tonight and asked me how I was and if I already have a bf (after J). I said no, I need to heal and I’m not searching—that I’m done. I’m happier like this. She said it’s when I’m not searching the One comes. I said no, just the thought of it creeps me out. It’s just too painful, I told her. I don’t think I can have another one again.

Which brings me to this:

Photo from Rappler.com
https://www.rappler.com/entertainment/celebrities/photos-hyun-bin-son-ye-jin-married/

I mean, ok, they’re happy. The on-screen couple turned real-life couple. Good for them. I just hope it lasts. Excuse my jadedness.

There are people made for this, and there are people who are not. I clearly do not belong to the first group. Even if I gave my all—all my love and kindness, tried to see good in people even if they don’t deserve it—I always end up in a ditch and disrespected.

So no, friend, I’m better off like this. I need to grow and learn more about the world and the hard lessons life is teaching me. I’m not about to seek comfort and affirmation from someone else because it only leads to disaster.

Lighting candles to soothe my soul. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

I am done with the two curtain panels for the girls’ bedroom.

Photo by CallMeCreatiom.com

Now they’re up on their windows.

Photo by CallMeCreation.com

I’m just finishing a small panel and then I will be done with their room. I can now proceed to do the complicated poppy flower drawing…

Just look at my hobbies—they’re hardly the thing that sophisticated, shiny people do. I do granny things. I’m not even into grandmillennial style…just granny. My interests are contemplative things like hiking, diving, biking, home DIY, museums, daydreaming on a grassy patch of land, gardening, cooking, drawing, singing, and lots of reading. I’m not into clubbing and so over bar-hopping.

I’m boring. I could hardly be an asset to a person who wants to aspire for big things in life like being a fund manager or a fund owner. A CEO of a conglomerate. I also could never be a tai tai nor I wanted to be one.

During this period of transition inmy life I realized I just want to be like this:

Karl

If there’s a larger than life I personality I want to be friends with, it would be Karl Lagerfeld or Rajiv Surendra.

Karl’s life is interesting—not because of money that came with his life but it doesn’t hurt, no?—but he lived beautifully and he chased intellectualism not just for the sake of it but because he was very curious. Of course he was sort of a snob and he was raised by a ruthless mother but for some reason he loved her dearly. From his stories (published in Vogue and other interviews), his mother sounds like Elton John’s mother (gleaned from the movie Rocketman).

Anyway, I remember one article in Vogue (when I was still a devoted reader) that he spoke several languages and read in French, German, and English. He loved books. He was one of the biggest bibliophiles there is. He collected books and read them all. He was interested in so many things, especially history. His library is one of my dream libraries and I could happily pass my days in there. We can talk about politics, history, philosophy, art—so many things—over tea and biscuits (he eliminated sweets from his diet).

Photo from MyModernMet.com

I also remember his love for wearing Hedi Slimane suits. There was an article in Vogue where he discussed his weariness of flying/airports post 9/11 (how strictly insane and tedious flying became right after 9/11) so he had outfitted several SUVs to be luxurious cabins so he can cross countries in Europe without having to suffer the indignities of stripping your clothes/shoes just authorities can scan you for possible deadly weapons or bombs.

I wish I have his discipline of sketching all the time. He wanted to be a cartoonist, not a fashion designer at first. He figured he could make a better living out of sketching clothes.

I could feel his frustration of wanting to play the piano but this desire to learn it was stamped out by his incorrigible mother. I figured those who leaned towards the arts sometimes find themselves drawn to other art forms as a way to express themselves.

Hmm, the two persons I mentioned above have another thing in common: they’re both gay. I’m good friends with gay men and as I told one gay man in Singapore, I am a fairy princess. I like the company of gay men because they’re interesting and they like my friendship. I had been to gay bars in Manila with K and his friends are fun to be with; we were dancing on the ledge of a bar until the wee hours (this was before I got married).


hand-stitching again. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

I’m back to sewing again as a form of procrastination. I can’t finish the poppy sketch yet since it’s complicated for my bleeding brain (I just finished an article today). I think the curtain panels will be up in the girls’ room by the end of this week.

I’m also teaching a colleague how to survive the China lockdown because he doesn’t know how to cook. His initial lockdowns were in Kuala Lumpur and he was privileged enough not to worry about supplies when he was there. I told him to grab lots of Indomee instant noodles (he’s Chinese Malaysian) and do this:

Lucky Me Pancit Canton by Monde Nissin. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

Teaching him what to buy and what to do with them. Gah! I wonder how these people survive all these years by just eating out.

Screenshot from NIkkei Asia

This zero-Covid policy of China has seen a lot of businesses wanting to flee HK. My former APAC boss is now in Manila to escape the draconian policies of HK and give her toddlers a respite from being locked up indoors.

In contrast, Singapore is now allowing people to be maskless if outdoors. My friend-colleague said it’s such a relief especially if she’s taking her walks for her daily exercise. Our new APAC head, who’s based in Seoul, said most people there have been getting Covid that it doesn’t make sense to control movement. So the rest of the world has adopted the living-with-Covid policy and is now opening up borders.

I’m raring to go to the sea.

Maricaban, Batangas. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

This photo was taken when we took the boat from Eagle Point Resort to Maricaban island. The diving was not good but the winds were violent in Sombrero island so we were taken here. Some of these boats took novice scuba divers where we were freediving.

Ahhhh, diving. I really, really missed you.

You should have done this, Mommy

Screenshot from Palawan News

Twin I sent this to me and went up my room to tell me I should have done this. “You should have sold his gaming rig, Mommy.”

Huh?

“Tito J,” she said.

Awww. This girl is very sore about Tito J. Can’t blame her. She’s really hurt.

I should have done to J what Will Smith did to Chris Rock today at the Oscars for disrespecting me.

As for her dad? “Mommy, do you know you can sue a father who doesn’t send financial support to his children?”

“Yes I know,” I said. “Do you want me to sue him when he doesn’t have money?”

“Well he says he is stand to inherit xxx million from Lolo,” she said. Gee, that idiot is really not exerting effort to improve his lot and is just waiting for his father to die.

“Tell him to give you money for college tuition,” I said.

Losers.


Meanwhile, in satirical news that I wish they’re true:

This. If only my teachers in elementary and high school could be sent back to be re-educated 😣 The level of cognitive dissonance is unbelievable. And to think these are the same people that tried to shape our world view. 😥


The new plants that I will strive to keep alive during this season of intense heat.

Photo by CallMeCreation.com

There should be a better way of arranging these plants. They don’t make sense anymore. I need risers. Even if my world doesn’t make sense now, at least my container garden should.

I’ve told my new APAC boss that I need to be in Singapore for 8 days in July for our annual conference, which will be held face to face for the first time since the pandemic began. I just submitted to London HQ my request for travel to SG. But I think I need to be in Singapore even before July, probably May. I need to arrange a lot of admin work. *Le sigh*. The hiring process for new reporters is taking a loooooong time.