I woke up before 7 am since I had a lot of work piling up on me. However, I got distracted by a lot of keyboards on my desk so…I cleaned them. As in I took them apart and cleaned them with Wipeout and each keycap was brushed… The Miniso bluetooth keyboard will be given to my younger sister while I roadtest the 61-key mechanical keyboard for today.

I just ordered new keycaps for the latter. Just because. Maybe I should change the switches to cherry or buy a sound dampener…Let’s see if the blue switches would grow on me.

Then I attended our weekly bureau chief-commercial team calls while I cleaned the keyboards…and it’s non-stop editing and admin work from thereon. It’s already 10:17 pm and I’m still not done with the edits.

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I worked at our office on my last day in Singapore and managed to still meet my colleague friend at the last minute she came into our office. She helped me load my luggage when my Grab Car arrived at our building’s driveway.

I was so tired when I arrived in Manila and I had to pick up my car at ParkNFly and drive for 1.5 hrs to my hometown. I even had to tweak my speech and slept at around 4 am.

So sleeeepppyyyyyyy.

The sablay is an indigenous clothing material worn like a sash on formal occasions. Woven into this garment are the baybayin (indigenous script) for UP, which in Tagalog is pronounced as U-Pa.

We were the last batch of UP graduates who had worn the mortar and toga for graduation. The batches that came after us had to wear the sablay, which I prefer because it’s not as hot and it looks more elegant. When I was conferred with my master’s degree, I had the chance to wear the sablay but I just borrowed it because I thought I will no longer wear it.

How wonderfully wrong I was.

Who would have thought that I would be speaking before graduating students 22 years after?

During my time, only the honor graduates were given the privilege to wear this pin.

But I was not allowed to wear the sablay when I was there because I was wearing black. LOL. I already forgotten the dress code.

I was a bit afraid that my speech was too…blunt. Very me. Too much of an activist. But then the Chancellor said the same thing. The class valedictorian (first summa cum laude of the college) said the same thing. Some parents have liked my speech. Faculty members thanked me for saying it. Some parents had their photos taken with me instead of being offended.

My mom was proud of me and sent a copy of my speech to her friends. She said my dad in heaven would have been so proud for standing up again for what is right.

College of xxx Testimonial

3 August 2022

Chancellor xxx, Dean xxxx, colleagues, staff, and the graduates. Magandang umaga, maupay na aga, maayong buntag sa inyong tanan.

Any foreign students here? Can I speak in Tagalog?

First of all, palakpakan natin ang mga guro natin na ginapang din ang paggraduate nyo. Ramdam ko ang hirap nila dahil nagturo din ako ng ilang semesters sa UP Diliman, sa College of Mass Communication. Sobrang hirap magturo. Natutulog ako literal na napapaligiran ng chinechekan na mga test papers at articles na ginegradean. In the end hindi kinaya ng katawang lupa ko so tumigil na muna ako magpanggap. So ang tagumpay ng mga magsisipagtapos ngayon ay tagumpay din ng mga guro ninyo.

I just came from a 10-day trip, visiting my regional headquarters in Singapore—which is technically my office—which I haven’t seen for three years. I was busy networking and talking for days to people from all over Asia, Europe and North America about the global economy and where we’re headed in the next 12 months.

I manage reporters from all around Southeast Asia, edit stories from all around Asia Pacific, and literally run alongside the president of Hitachi and CEO of Cargill to get exclusives from them. Pre-Covid, I hop from one city to another because of my job. I report about mergers and acquisitions, billion-dollar deals even before such news hit Bloomberg and Reuters.

Sounds glamorous, right?

But I’m not here to talk about that. I’m here to talk about an ugly and inconvenient truth.

What I do now is soooo far from where I had been 22 years ago, when I was just like you, trying my best to look adult, which Gen Z people call adulting, but basically still bewildered as to what I would be doing for the rest of my life. I was getting out of my comfort zone. Tambay lang naman ako ng DevCom lobby nun eh—ay mali, ng BioSci pala para sumilay.

At that time, I also wanted to kick myself because I was only 0.05 away from being a cum laude graduate at that time. All I had was a pin from being a Natatanging Pahinungod.

But little did I know that moment at the CDC testimonial in April 2000 would chart the road I that will be treading for more than two decades.

You see, I did not become cum laude because I failed my SocSci 2 course. I kept walking out of that class because my teacher kept on exulting the greatness of Ferdinand Marcos Sr, how brilliant he was, every chance that she got. Yeah, we would be talking about Machiavelli’s the “end justifies the means” then she would interject that Martial Law was necessary at that time. You could only imagine my eye rolls and probably my eyeballs were already in a different dimension whenever she did this.

She said there was no human rights violation during his 20-year reign. I kept walking out of that class and I was sitting in front. Eh maldita ako. I made sure I showed my displeasure on my face. I kept raising my hand to dispute her claims, like that the people wanted a plebiscite as shown in newspaper pictures. And I’m a newspaper person…hello! I told her that was a sham photo; my mom said it was a moment when people were asked who wanted free rice. Of course, the hungry poor people raised their hands and said, “Ako! Ako! (Me, me!)”. Et voila! The photo was used to spin and twist truth.

Sounds familiar, right?

As for her claims about human rights violation? I told her that my uncle, Nick Atienza (then chairperson of the Kabataang Makabayan) suffered one of the most horrible tortures at Fort Bonifacio but lived to tell the tale. That shut her up.

As a footnote, former BSP Deputy Governor Diwa Guinigundo later told me that Nick was just three cells away from him and every night he could hear the military henchmen torturing my uncle and his screams of pain. Tinotroso nila siya sa pader, yun ang term na ginamit ni Gov Diwa. He said he wondered how Nick even survived.

Anyway, I told my adviser that time that I was in trouble, and I needed to drop SocSci 2. She said dropping would cost me my Latin honors. So I stuck with it.

So long story short, that teacher gave me a 4 and wanted me to take a remedial exam, which I told the Social Science Dept Chair at that time, the late Dwight Diestro, that this was very wrong because I passed all her exams. Instead subjecting myself to the mercy of that horrible human being of a teacher—who reminded me now of Dolores Umbridge—I decided to take SocSci2 AGAIN. And that that didn’t make things better.

I told my parents about this problem, but instead of getting admonished, my father told me one of the most important lessons in my life:

It’s better to not get honors for standing up for the truth instead of accepting lies just to get good grades. It’s difficult to go against the system even if you are right; remember that you must be brave because this is always a lonely fight.

Yes, Latin honors can get you through the doors easier and I congratulate you for your hard work. I was once there. You get the plum entry positions and can demand a better entry salary if you can. At that time, I was frustrated. I could not tell prospective employers that I was 0.05 away from being cum laude. You don’t say that in job interviews. It’s either you are a UP cum laude or not. That is that.

But you know, it will only matter in your first job. Integrity will be with you for the rest of your life and it is the most important thing that you shouldn’t lose, whether you land in mainstream media, development work, or other communication ventures. 

And I tell you 22 years after, that moment at the CDC testimonial still resonates with me. What being a Natatanging Pahinungod means; and it turned out to be more important to me than that Latin honors. Because my fight for the people at the grassroots continues to this day. Pahinungod = to offer oneself. This is not outreach where you come from a different place to reach out to those who are at a lower level than you. Because pahinungod is being with them, opening up yourself to them.

Ang trabaho ko ay ang ipaglaban ang nasa laylayan at ang puno ng aking pagkatao. As a journalist, as a parent, as daughter, sister, friend, as a Filipino.

My fight for those without voices and for the truth have been my guiding principle in my entire career as a local journalist and as a journalist for Asia Pacific. It’s a lonely fight. It’s a dangerous fight.

I was trolled for speaking out against a government agency that harbored well-known “mother” trolls that keep farms. My trade organization didn’t fight for me even when I took up the cudgels for some of their officials who were being treated unfairly by that government agency. I was told that some government officials didn’t want to attend the business conference organized by that trade group because we (specifically me) were anti-Duterte. I was later kicked out of that trade organization since I am a liability.

I wrote an essay about how the Marcoses brought down the country’s economy by cronyism and it went viral, which exposed me to more online harassment and threats of rape and whatnot.

But I stood my ground. I always remember what my father told me when I failed SocSci 2: Fighting the system is a lonely fight. Fighting for the truth is inconvenient.

In this age of “history is chismis” and “6.1% inflation is not high”, we communicators must always fight for the truth. There’s this artista na itago na lang natin sa pangalang Giselle who graduated magna cum laude from CMC who is now trying to spin the truth, participating in historical revisionism. Did she forget the things that were taught to her by her alma mater? Or because the truth is inconvenient?

We in CDC are equipped with the right tools (such as research skills) to bring out the truth and give voices to the powerless. Tayong graduates ng CDC ay may may kakayahan na makatulong sa mga nasa laylayan. How to communicate with them and for them to facilitate change. Because we are at the forefront.  

Ano nga sabi ng isang senador? That Development Communication is irrelevant daw, outdated daw. Mali sya. She’s very wrong. More than ever Devcom is needed now, this moment of 6.1% inflation, of rising interest rates, of supply chain disruptions, of economic downturn that would hammer especially those who are at the bottom of the pyramid.

We can be agents of change for development. Di ba yun naman ang essence ng Devcom? Pero ang pagbabago hindi lang dapat nasa gitna, kung hindi dapat isasama natin ang laylayan. Ang pagtatrabaho para sa pagbabago ay mula sa baba at sa taas at magtatagpo sa gitna. Pagtulong at pagsama sa laylayan. Pedagogy of the Oppressed. Hindi yung, “Let me educate you.” Kungdi let’s educate ourselves about the plight of those who were misinformed, who believed the lies fed to them because they no longer had anything else to believe in. It’s not us teaching them because we were more educated but it’s also about them teaching us. You know, if you remember our FGD days…Always remember that it is strategic communication and not merely information dissemination. And we bring that to the table to effect change.

I also challenge the CDC to fight disinformation and misinformation. To fight against the red-tagging of people like me who speak the truth. I was waiting for CDC to come out with the statement against one of its natatanging alumni who was fond of red-tagging us and the rest of the University.

I told you, it will never be convenient. We are up against a smooth and powerful machinery. Misinformation and disinformation are being used to serve the interests of the powers that may be.

Opposition voices are being shut down, one by one, as we have seen in the 1970s and in recent weeks and months. The cogs are turning. The doors are being closed on the faces of journalists like me. Eventually, on the faces everyone.

Where are you in this? Will you accept the lies to get good grades? Or stand up for the truth and be inconvenienced?

Yan ang hamon ko sa inyo.

Padayon!

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Probably my best friend or my Greek-letter organization sister told the admin that I don’t have any UP apparel that I can wear when I watch the UAAP, especially during UP Men’s Basketball games.

They also gave me a beautiful woven malong, a traditional Filipino-Bangsamoro wrap-around skirt, from Zamboanga. I have two malongs already from Davao and they are very versatile. Usually I use them as a wrap when I get cold or as a beach towel where I can sit. Never as a skirt yet because I don’t know how to securely wrap it around myself.

One of the most fascinating indigenous dances I watched is the Sambi sa Malong performed by the Bayanihan Dance Troupe. Very complicated dance, like the singkil.

AAAAAAAAND I’m still working. Damn it. I just had a story published a few minutes ago.

I can sleep in tomorrow probably?