I edited a lot of stories today 😩 which left me mentally exhausted. I promised myself that I would walk 8k today but the weather had other plans.

It rained. 😑

But I needed to burn some calories or else I will become as big as a house again. Indoor workout again.

I’m also cutting down on carbs. It’s hard though. I’m getting hungry at night.

If I don’t instill discipline in me, I will become that chonky Kimchi. It was so wrong to introduce her to snacks. Now she demands it in the morning whenever I come down to go to the bathroom. The leash I bought the last time was small so I think I need to buy the dog body leash for Kimchi and the normal cat body leash for Sushi. We need to train them to walk outdoors so they will be ready when we transport them when we move to our new house. Plus Kimchi needed the exercise.

Tomorrow I will have drinks with my journo friend who went on medical leave for three months after the trip to the ER. He didn’t know what was wrong with him when one day his BP shot up and he had to be brought to the ER. Upon arriving there his BP and everything else became normal. He says that his BP has become wild in the past few months… And he hates his job now.

Like zero fucks given to his job.

The last time we talked face to face he has been complaining to me about his direct manager and how he hates doing what he was good at before.

I told him he those are anxiety attacks and I was like that a few years ago. I frequently had palpitations, chest tightening and pain, and strong urge to puke. One time I was driving and I had one of those episodes that I willed my way into driving to the nearest ER. I thought I was having a heart attack. I was cleared when my ECG showed it wasn’t a heart attack; iy was heart burn/GERD. A friend of my sister said I had exhibited anxiety attack symptoms. That’s how bad my situation was when the girls’ dad and I had lived under the same roof but led different lives. When I had taken myself out of the situation, my anxiety attacks stopped.

I need to convince this friend that no job is worth dying for. He has to quit. He has been telling me over and over he wanted to quit and will just put up his own business (he’s loaded anyway). So pep talk is what he needed. I told him last Wednesday when we saw each other in BGC that he doesn’t look good and he looks like he needs to rest for a few months. His colleague (and also my friend) from the same media entity also quit recently and it seemed like he is burned out. He (second friend) told me he is just loafing around and will soon go to Peru to unwind. There must be something wrong with their management now, methinks. Reporters are just getting burned out at the same time. 🤔

It’s a terrible, terrible feeling. I had been in that position before. When stress and anxiety are taking a toll on your health, you should just quit. There’s nothing wrong with quitting. When the current situation is no longer working for you, cut your losses. Stop and reassess your situation, realign your goals if needed. Plan an escape route. After you have figured out what you needed to do and what you wanted to do, then re-engage with the world.

Your mental health is at stake here. This eventually would bleed into your physical health and all aches and pains will become psychosomatic.

As my sister said, quit while you still have your dignity intact. Because if you keep pushing beyond what your mental state can take, you will make a mess of yourself and destroy your reputation in the process.

Save yourself.

I am a living testament of quitting-before-I-fuck-up. So far it turned out pretty well for me.

So now I wonder if we can go to that wine bar we went to…