I’m f*cking drunk

Started at 6:30 pm at Boat Quay
11 pm somewhere near Boat Quay

I don’t remember exactly but I think I had 6 pints of beer. Colleagues were paying for it so I didn’t count.

And this is the first time I rode a taxi with curtains and neon lights inside. My colleagues and I were joking that this is a signal that we should be partying some more inside the cab. But being a Monday night, we questioned the wisdom of doing so.

Party taxi 😂 Photo by CallMeCreation.com

Now that I’m in the hotel where other colleagues are billeted as well, I realized that I was not alone with my frustrations with the company. I got a lot of pats on the back for speaking up and for pushing the envelope. I told one colleague I was always in danger of getting fired for speaking my mind out and for operating outside the box. He said he was in the same boat and he said this trip is a good way of knowing that we are n the same page. Now we will keep pushing the envelope until we get fired.

Hello, it’s me. Again

Photo by CallMeCreation.com

I only had one hour sleep yesterday because of all the errands and packing I needed to do. I barely slept in the plane because the seat for some reason did not recline. I went about my day very groggy 😑

I regretted booking this hotel because it was very out of the way. I couldn’t check in early to rest so I went out again for forex. I wanted to go to Arcade near my office but guess what? The MRT from Outram going to Raffles Place broke down. No trains. Wow.

So I had to take the bus but I didn’t know which to take. I just took what seemed would pass through the areas near Raffles Place.

When it went through Chinatown, I jumped off.

Hello, Chinatown! Photo by CallMeCreation.com

It has been quite a while since I’ve been here. I have stayed away from this area because it was always crowded. Anyway, I got a good deal on the forex. UOB and DBS (via ATM) and at the airport offers PHP 42 = SGD 1. At some of the money changers at People’s Plaza, it’s about PHP 40.1 = SGD 1. I only got SGD 20 from the ATM to replenish my MRT card but the rest were exchanged in Chinatown.

Was debating whether I should go to Vivo City to buy myself a belt because the one holding up my jeans is falling apart. But I was already getting hungry at 1 pm and already sleepy. I just crossed to Chinatown Point and ate at Song Fa. Sadly this area is already taken over by restaurants and the stores I used to frequent were gone, like Hush Puppies and other apparel stores.

Chili sauce + hoisin. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

The Fairprice here is a favorite of mine because they have a lot of offers. The discounts are not that much but when you spot a good one, like a laptop bag (can’t remember if it was Targus) grab it. For some reason I was able to buy a laptop bag there when other Fairprice branches don’t carry items like that. Anyway, I bought the staples like 3-in-1 coffee that my bro and sis-in-law like so much. And I’m also a coffee runner for my friend from my old TV network for years. Same brand. I don’t know why they like it so much.

Photo by CallMeCreation.com

Found some stuff for my girls as well. They loved the matcha we bought at Mitsukoshi and they had been searching for it at the grocery stores but we weren’t lucky.

These should last them for a while. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

The rest are my spice mixes and drinks I will consume in my hotel because they cost twice at the vendo or at 7-Eleven.

I was debating whether I book Grab but I can’t remember where I can wait for such at Chinatown Point. In the end I suffered through MRT transfers with my grocery bags. I really regretted booking an out-of-the-way hotel.

It was old and big so there were a lot of people. 😑 But at least there was a 7-Eleven beside it but that’s it. The MRT station nearest it is quite a walk and it has been raining all day so it was very inconvenient.

At least I got a big room. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Finally able to put my feet up. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

I was again weighing if I should go out for dinner or feel sorry for myself eating noodles in my room. Then I realized I didn’t have chopsticks or a fork. That decided for me. Maxwell was just two MRT stops away.

I was hankering for a Tong Fong Fatt Chicken Rice but it was closed. So I thought about the much ballyhooed Tian-tian because it had earned a Michelin Bib Gourmand…

The queue! Oh que horror! Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Aw geez. Might as well buy it since I was already there. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Yep, just as I remembered it…not so great. Tian-tian < Tong Fong Fatt

It was raining still when I got back to the hotel.

It will be like this for the entire week. 😑 Photo by CallMeCreation.com
A long very hot soak for my tired body. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

I think I was already out by 8 pm.

Art to revive me

White gouache for highlights. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

The prospect of buying a tube of white gouache revived me. The sight of artists making an alley near Maginhawa pretty lifted me (Alley 44). That’s how visual art, music, theater/movies, and literature give me life when the drudgery of everyday existence engulfs me.

Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Photo by CallMeCreation.com

But before I could sit down and make art, I needed to run errands.

Arroz caldo, a comfort food. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

Blaaaahhhh. Still need practice. Art and photo by CallMeCreation.com

Because I drove all day

I needed to relax and practice with my heat gun.

Barren. Art and photo by CallMeCreation.com
Against the blue sky I stand alone. Art and photo by CallMeCreation.com

I made an impression of the photo I took during one of those lonely bike trips to Eastridge (Binangonan-Antipolo) almost three years ago. I had that photo printed and framed and it still hangs on my bedroom wall, to remind me that despite all that I’ve been through, I still can stand proudly even though I am alone.

So what warranted this stress-busting painting session? Well, I drove south again to check on my tiny house and apply for a new Converge line so by the time we move in, I will already have a 500Mbps internet connection.

The back of the girls’ bedroom door where they can hang their towels and pants. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Broom/vacuum cleaner closet. Because this structural post needs to disappear. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Fire exit in my bedroom. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
The fire exit platform that I think I will turn into a secret balcony. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
My pseudo-balcony. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Digging for the foundation of my new stairs. The entire width and length of this will be laid with pavers so I will have a wide patio. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

This area will be protected by polycarbonate roofing so my patio and grilling area/brick pizza oven will be protected somewhat from the rain. It would look like the one below:

Photo from renaissancepatio.com

Beyond the stairs up to the perimeter fence/wall will be my laundry/utility area. In the future, I can convert the space under the new stairs (it will be a lot bigger with a deck midway) into a workshop of some sort for my DIYs or it can become art studio if I try my hand at acrylic and oil—the super messy media. I did oil painting twice and I never liked them. It’s too messy and my asthma doesn’t like the fumes from the oil paints and thinners.

Anyway, I will fill this area with potted flowering plants and line the walls with creepers or I can hang orchids on coconut husks. The area on the right beyond the stairs will be my veggie garden and the composting area (which my mom had been doing for 30 years).

Pathway going to the garage. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

This pathway leads to a holding area/screened porch that leads to a front garden and garage. The front garden may be demolished to make way for a three-car garage. This pathway is currently messy because of the construction but this used to be lined with plants. I will revive this with flowering plants and have bougainvillea and yellow bells creep along the perimeter wall. The door on the right is my mom’s studio unit which is currently one giant room with walk-in closet and ensuite but with no kitchenette. Beyond that is the main house.

I’ll go back to painting.


And nope. I cannot push my luck. The second painting is blaaahhh because I’ve exhausted all my creative juices in the first painting (above). I’m pushing myself too far.

Oblation. Art and photo by CallMeCreation.com

Signals

My body was full of knotted muscles so I had booked a two-hour Zennya massage last night. At the end of the session I was already snoring so I just went straight to bed and forgot about everything else.

Today, I was bombarded with edits (which was fine) and hiring chores/issues (which was not fine) that I had suffered through diarrhea the entire day due to too much stomach acids. I think I had been going to the bathroom 10x already. It seems like my proton pump inhibitor (esomeprazole) is not doing its job. If by next week I’ll still be like this (geez I’m in Singapore 🤦‍♀️), then it seems like I need to have that endoscopy to see whether I already have peptic ulcers.

I think I need to decompress for a bit.

Photo by CallMeCreation.com

Let’s see what I can come up with later.


This is why I bought a heat gun from Lazada last night. A small desk fan cannot dry washes in an instant. Art and photo by CallMeCreation.com
Yes, I repeated an old image. Art and photo by CallMeCreation,com

I redid this Binangonan sunset that I drew last year. This time, I did not resort to using fine liners to define plants and I am now more light-handed when it comes to sky colors compared to the first drawing. This paper is still very wet so I will just revisit this tomorrow when it’s completely dry.

Why did I do this?

Nothing. Just to track my progress when it comes to technique i.e. showing the opacity and how to do reflections on water. The first time I did this, Laguna Lake didn’t look like a lake at all; it was just a muddy valley. Now at least there’s a semblance of water reflecting the sky. I also mixed cadmium yellow + cobalt violet and cadmium orange + cobalt violet to produce different browns for the lake shore that would go with sunset and the lake. For the other part of the lake, it was a mixture of imperial violet + blue gray deep of varying degrees. Using the pre-mixed browns and grays made my first drawing muddy and it lacked opacity that is needed when sunlight changes every second. Watching other artists on Instagram is helping me to rely less on pre-mixed colors and create my own.

This is still ugly in my eyes so I need to continue improving this. Probably next year.

From dust to dust

Christ the King Columbarium. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

Today is my uncle’s inurnment, roughly three years after he suddenly died of suspected Covid during the early days of the pandemic. Almost all his surviving siblings came, so a number of my cousins were there, too.

From our departure from my apartment to Christ the King Seminary that is 15 minutes away, I saw the trees shedding their leaves and the branches have become bare. Dried leaves have been floating around, riding the wind. It’s the signal that the long hot and dry season is upon us. The trees have prepared for the dry spell; by late April and May, they will be a riot of colors as they show off their blooms.

In the garden, in the middle of the Christ the King Columbarium. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

“Remember that you are dust, and to dust you shall return.”

My uncle has become dust while the world around us continues with the cycle of life. Leaves are dying so enough resources can be channeled by the trees into producing flowers and then the seeds may be spread before the rainy season starts, to nurture new life.

We die in different ways. There are times that our bodies have died and given up the ghost, so that the spirit can continue to live. There are times when our bodies continue to live even if our spirits have died. How do we then go on?

We just…go on…and continue with the cycle of life. We have lost our leaves and we can channel our remaining energy into planting seeds so we may live another life.

My time in this apartment is up and I’m closing this chapter in my life. I have loved, lived, and died in this home so I have planted my seeds elsewhere. Like the sturgeon and salmon, I’m going back to where I came from to give new life to my spawns while I…

I don’t know.

Maybe like the salmon, I will go back to where I came from to die. Or be like the sturgeon, I will live to a hundred even after spawning. I have no idea what I will be; all I know is that my 5 years in this apartment are enough and it’s time to leave behind the ghosts of the past. This apartment always reminds me that I was not good enough.

My new home, on the other hand, is a reminder that I am good. That I am enough. No one will treat me like dirt because I am not good enough. In this new life that I have planted, no one is allowed to treat me like dirt again. And before I become dust, I vow that I will live my life with dignity and grace.