I got triggered with this viral post that the original poster has already taken down because it backfired. I wanted to cry, I feel so bad for many women out there who are reduced to being appliances and servants of their partners, becoming cleaning ladies instead of real partners.

Summary, the wife said:

“It has been 10 years since I graduated, it seems like I don’t have personal achievements”

To which the guy immediately responded:

“Don’t say that. My achievements are your achievements. I can’t do them without you.”

Then he listed all the things he made his wife do, like–no joke– he said:

• the small things that I don’t notice anymore because you are there, like you pick up the towels I throw down anywhere
• You flush the toilet when I don’t
• when I throw out my clothes and I don’t notice anymore because I know you are there…

THIS MAN DOES NOT HAVE A WIFE. What he has is a nanny. An appliance.

Misogyny (/mɪˈsɒdʒɪni/) is hatred of, contempt for, or prejudice against women. It is a form of sexism that keeps women at a lower social status than men, thus maintaining the societal roles of patriarchy.

HE GASLIGHTED HIS WIFE. She is asking for personal growth, he dismissed her concerns and he put himself at the forefront of this narrative, citing all the things he made his wife do and he said that his achievements are also her own personal achievements. THE FACT THAT SHE ASKED THIS THING means she is looking for some personal fulfillment outside her role as caretaker. He made it like, your role in life is to support me and not have your own personal dreams and ambitions.

A caring partner would respond like this:

Why do you feel that you don’t have personal achievements? What are your personal goals? How can I help you achieve them?

Sadly, I have yet to hear those words spoken to me, ever, by anyone who had been with me. I felt like I was alone in my battles, in my climb to where I am now. Love meant sacrificing yourself, your physical, mental, and emotional well-being, leaving you not even headspace for yourself, without receiving the same in return.

I can feel now hot tears rolling down my cheeks.

I remember after changing J’s bed sheets at his condo and had lain on the bed because I was tired since I cleaned the bathroom and swept the floor. Then he pointed to the groceries that are yet to be unpacked…I was hungry because I didn’t have lunch that day. I ordered Grab and he demanded why? “It would take you longer!” he angrily said. I responded weakly that I was already dizzy because of hunger, let me eat first. He wanted to get rid of me quick. I asked, why are you treating me this way?

It’s so hard to live in a world where women are reduced to being servants instead of partners. And yet they demand more…then leave you on the wayside all dried up and empty. They leave you for somebody who still has the flush of youth, undamaged by childbirth and age, because these women have yet to run on empty like you did. They leave you for somebody shinier because you’ve already lost your luster in the course of serving them head to foot.

It’s hard to live in a world where your partner has just reduced you into a caricature of your former self.

How many are we out there, victims of misogyny, who are left licking our wounds, trying to find our dignity, self-love, and self-worth? How many are we out there, trying to heal from the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, as Hamlet once phrased it?

I pity this woman, this man’s wife. Girl, I hope you find your footing because once your husband has sapped all of your strength and dignity, he will just leave you like one leaves an old appliance.

I didn’t know I still had tears to cry. I thought I’m done. I’m still bleeding from my chest.

One day these will just be scars. One day.