Where?

Hitachi Kaihin Koen ひたち海浜公園, Ibaraki Prefecture, Japan. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

Hitachi Kaihin Koen is one of those places where I felt really happy and at peace. I don’t know why but it’s just like that. I desperately want to go back there now but for obvious reasons I can’t. I was already a zombie at that time I visited in 2017 but somehow when I got there in Hitachi, I became human again. I started to feel emotions again. I realized that I wasn’t completely dead inside. Sitting there on top of the hill surrounded by flowers staring at the sea for hours made me realize that there might be something beyond the trees, the sea, the horizon that I should try to see and look forward to. That’s why in 2018 I opened up again to another person…

Now I have the chance to create a happy place that I could build with my own hands without anybody else. It’s now within my reach. I just need to decide where I should buy a lot and plant roots, figuratively and literally. I wish I could build my small home on a hill that I can plant with flowers, trees, and vegetables, like our home when I was growing up. Or have my little house perched somewhere high overlooking the sea, like in Anilao. I could recreate this view from Hitachi in my little cottage by the sea.

The thing that is keeping me from scouting for a lot now is 1) Metro Manila may be put on a hard lockdown again starting tomorrow or Sunday–it’s just a matter of between now and Monday; 2) I don’t know if I should be planting my roots now because I may end up living abroad–I can’t really tell. I have to decide soon because the window to acquire a lot may close.

If I do choose to build a home in the near-term, I have to concentrate on that while raising my girls. Nothing else should divert me.

And I could hear my friend commenting again, “looks like you’re not making space for anyone else.”

She’ll know that my answer hasn’t changed.

Illustration by @Avogado6 from Twitter

Where to?

Bridge going to Pili Drive, UP Los Baños. Photo by callmercreation.com

Where I am headed? I don’t know. It doesn’t matter.

I’m a goal-oriented person, that’s why I am where I am today. However, life fucks up, right? So I’ve learned in the past 20 years that it’s nice to have goals but it’s not the end all and be all of life. The goals set you on a course and help you weed out what works and what doesn’t. It lets you have boundaries. Like I only took jobs that would lead me to a journalism career. After journalism, who knows? It’s ok not to know. But at least now I know I may not go into investment banking (I was invited once or twice) because seeking mandates is tough. Chasing mandates is not as enjoyable as chasing stories. The money sucks in journalism but so far it is allowing me to support five people (my two nannies, me, and my girls). Let’s see how I would be able to increase income without having to jump into investment banking. I may go into business, but I don’t know if I still have the energy to run a business like we did before. Consultancy probably is the way to go…damn it. I don’t have a PhD. And I certainly will not pursue a PhD at this stage because scholarships abroad have an age limit of 36 or 37 years old. But I have earned my stripes and may need to earn more before or during a consultancy gig. Not really sure how this will work out but that’s the beauty of it. It may just fall on my lap one of these days and it will sort itself out.

That journey may not necessarily mean it’s only here in the Philippines. My girls and I may end up somewhere else. Who knows? But that’s the beauty of it. It’s the openness to possibilities that makes life beautiful.

It’s ok not to know what’s at the end of the bridge. For me it’s the journey over the bridge that’s most important. Make every little thing count. Enjoy the beauty in the simplest things: Preparing meals for my family. Watching sunsets. Watching the sunlight being filtered by my bedroom curtain while I am tucked between the sheets. Hearing my children’s squeals of laughter. Being by the sea and under the sea. Going up hills and mountains. Walking among flowers in Hitachi. Going to onsens. Taking hours-long train rides to somewhere. Discovering the best teppanyaki in the middle of nowhere in rural Japan. Walking around UP Diliman campus. Petting my cats. Sipping coffee in a coffee shop while I write or watch people. Writing.

Is it the pursuit of happiness? Umm, probably not. Happiness may be incidental, something that happens. You cannot be constantly happy because life fucks up. And chasing happiness is…fucked up as well. Maybe the best thing I can think of right now is the pursuit of contentment. Being content is not equal to being mediocre. Contentment may be reaching a high bar that you have set for yourself. But never being content may be equal to unhappiness and may launch you into this endless pursuit of nothingness.

So where do I go from here? I don’t know. And it’s ok.

Just like in the movies

I am melancholic these days for some reason that I cannot comprehend (probably I’m just burnt out) so I’m listening now to the piano version of the Kimi no na wa soundtrack to ease this heartache. It’s the same music I was listening to when I was on top of a hill, surrounded by blue flowers, while I stared at the Pacific Ocean. Listening to Kataware Doki transported me back to this hill where I spent hours just gazing at the sea and the flowers last spring.

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I remember it was a cloudy Thursday and I was having lunch with colleagues in some traditional Japanese restaurant not far from our Tokyo office in Otemachi. One colleague asked me where will I be going the following day, which was my last free day in Japan. I said I had no idea, probably I’ll go to Ueno. One of them laughed, “What will you be doing in Ueno?!” I then realized it was a bad idea. Then I said, I don’t know. Maybe I’ll find something or somewhere else I could go.

That afternoon I was flicking through my Instagram feeds and saw a friend posted his trip that day to Hitachi Seaside Park in Ibaraki prefecture. It was similar to this photo I took.

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And it took my breath away.

(But his version had flowers that were much bluer, probably due to the filter he used).

I asked him on IG how to get there. He said they just drove there but there was a time (was it last year?) he took a bus to get there. He said it took them more than two hours by bus from Tokyo. I suddenly had the urge to go there, whatever it takes. And according to my research, I can take the Express (JR Joban line) from Ueno station (1.5 hrs) or just the ordinary line, the Tokyo Yamanote Line (2 hrs and 45 mins).

Armed only with information from the Japan Rail app I downloaded on my phone and some Google search, I hopped from my hotel to Kanda Station then took the JR line to Ueno (for JPY 140). Then took the Express going to Katsuta station from Ueno because I was later than I expected. I planned to reach Hitachi 8:30 am, but guess what? It was already 8:30 am and I was still at Ueno station. As you can see it was JPY 3820 (PHP 1,711) for a one-way trip. If you’re not taking the express, you’ll only pay for the first ticket costing about JPY 2,270.

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I just love their trains.

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And how fascinating…their villages are powered by solar energy.

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Upon reaching Katsuta, I searched for the Minato line (Hitachinaka Seaside Railway) that would take me to Ajigaura station. I had to ask the railway officers at the train station office where can I find the Minato line. He had to look for a colleague who can speak English. Note to self: Push through with plan to study Nihongo.

The Minato line was farther down the platform below the railway office. I was pleasantly surprised to see a one-car train, just like the one (albeit it was a two-car-train) in Spirited Away. I was chatting with another friend (who lived in Japan for years for his PhD in Tsukuba University, also in Ibaraki prefecture) via FB Messenger while I was on my way to Ajigaura and he told me that whenever he rode this train, it felt like he was going to be transported to some mysterious fantasy anime land.

The ticket was JPY 1,000, including the entrance to Hitachi Seaside Park.

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So there in Ajigaura station, there is already a bus (free) waiting for passengers alighting from the train to bring to Hitachi. About 5-10 minute drive.

Well, hello there, 10-hectare park!

Hitachi Seaside Park

I rented a bike for JPY 300 for 4 hrs I think, can’t remember exactly. Because the nemophilia (baby blue eyes) hill was really far from the entrance. The best way to get around Hitachi is by bicycle.

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There is a train going around the entire park but of course your mobility is limited by the schedule of the train. Better take the bike so you can be free to move around.

And finally, the baby blue eyes!

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Thousands and thousands of them…

And spent a few hours just sitting on top of that hill and listen to songs on my iPod.

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It felt like I was in some movie. It was so ethereal.

The nemophilia was the main attraction for me but there are other places in the park where I spent dreaming away my day.

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If you’re hungry, don’t worry. There is a place near the nemophilia area where your can buy your lunch. It was not that expensive as I thought it would be. But you can bring your own food there, too.

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And I had my lunch here among the oldies.

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And of course, I had to have my ramen. I think this was JPY 400-450.

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I got lost riding my bike. So basically I was able to go around the entire park because I got lost looking for the entrance. And I saw that there was an amusement area there complete with Ferris wheel and roller coasters and all those things to keep children happy. Because what kid would be happy hiking among flowers?

So before I took the bus to take me back to Ajigaura station (3:45 pm), I bade the sea goodbye with a kiss.

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I want to go back in autumn to see these:

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It’s like being in a movie.

Flowers make me really happy but I am allergic to them (they trigger allergic rhinitis that lead to asthma). Oh the irony!