Fresh veggies everyday. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Went on my usual weekly vegetable run after work. I’m a stronger cyclist now compared to when I started as I can pedal up on a slope/incline without shifting down gears to granny level. I still find myself chasing my breath when I get near the Registrar’s Office to drink from my water bottle. At least I make fewer stops now.
The essentials when cycling at dusk: bike lights (at the handle bars and at the back) and bell. Because cyclists are invisible to pedestrians and motorists alike. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
I’m taking it one day at time. My journey out of this grief is slow. I tried to hurry it up earlier but it led to disastrous results. I made an ass of myself (kinda like that song “Without Me” by Claire Marlow). I will get there. Just like meeting the setting sun at the end of University Avenue. I will get there…
Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Hihigpitan ko ang kapit sa Diyos Maliwanag na rin, heto na’t parating Matatapos din ang pagsubok na ito
Sunken Garden, UP Diliman. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
My world has gotten smaller and smaller. I barely get out of 5km radius of my home. I only get to see a glimpse of the outside world when I ride my bike, like yesterday. Just to get a glimpse of the sunset. To get out of my head.
January was too long for me. I guess February is the same. I’m a prisoner of this pandemic. I’m a prisoner of my mind as well. I want to escape. I want to be very far away from here.
Fruit shake. A simple treat while I rest before going back home. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
The one thing to look forward to in my excursions is this 16 oz fruit shake. My world has been reduced to that.
Next week I want to go on a social media hiatus because everything will have Valentine’s Day ads. Not that I really celebrate it but this time it’s really painful. Two years ago we were in Hong Kong and on V-day we hiked to Victoria Peak to see the sunset. We took the ferry on the way to Kowloon and it was cold. He was so sweet at that time. Had dinner in some hole-in-the-wall restaurant there in Kowloon and took the last train ride back to Sai Ying Pun.
I’m a prisoner of my mind. I want to get away from here. I want to erase the memories.
My little girl told me, “Mommy, we will be your date on V-day.” Yes, my darling daughters. My heart may have been ripped out of me but you are there to help fill the void. I may even grow a new heart because of you, my angels.
Sunken Garden viewed from School of Economics. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
I biked the other day from the house to UP and around UP then came back home. I wanted to stay here longer to listen to music while I catch my breath. But no, UP Police is guarding the entire academic oval, making sure people don’t linger. The UP admin’s reason for closing the oval was that COVID-19 cases are rising so they’re getting people off the campus for two weeks.
Photo by Callmecreation.com
They still kept College of Science closed. Well, understandable since the Philippine Genome Center is there.
This is the first time I’ve been here without him. Well, as my friend said, there will be a lot of firsts like this in the coming days…until I stop noticing.
A colleague told me to have a completely new hobby. “Time and energy are best spent on yourself and your girls and not something unworthy.”
He is unworthy. Better spend the effort of harboring this anger into something more productive.
Decathlon bike section. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
So I bought a bike. Then bought extras. This disease afflicts all new bikers, even the occasional biker like myself. Problem is I bought one accessory that doesn’t fit my folding bike so I have to go back to Decathlon to return it.
Now that I no longer have a mountain bike to hitch at the back of my car, I can finally have the interior cleaned. 🎉
I didn’t fully fold my bike but it can be smaller so it can be carried in trains or in condos. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
My triathlete friend said that bikes ruin the interior of your car. She and her husband (who’s a professional triathlon coach) prioritize the bikes over the car so our cars’ interiors share the same look. Madungis. 😁 They don’t want their bikes exposed to elements when traveling because the bikes are as expensive as second hand cars.
I brought along my bike yesterday when I transported his mountain bike to my hometown to deliver it to my nephew. I thought I could go around the campus but I arrived there at noon 😓 So freaking hot so I decided against it. I thought I could take advantage of the open spaces and traffic-less campus 😔 As my triathlete friend said, this is the disadvantage of living in Metro Manila: you need to have a car to transport your bike to a place that is more bike-friendly. Which is ironic 🤦🏻♀️ and moronic. Unlike in my hometown where it’s ridiculous to even bring your car to run errands like buying from a store outside the campus because 1) everything is so near; 2) no parking space. A bicycle or a motorbike is the way to go.
Metro Manila is a deathtrap for bikers.
That said, Singapore is supposedly ideal for bikes as main mode of transport but I seldom see people bike to work, unlike in Japan and Taiwan. I only saw a white dude in a suit riding a Segway. Which is a shame. If I transfer to Singapore, I will have a bike with me. I loved the mama-chari bikes in Japan so I rented one for a day when I was in Hitachi.
This new hobby sometimes make me forget him. However, biking is almost synonymous with him since I always drove him to places where he could bike around. Yup, I was a glorified chauffer. It was all that I meant to him.
