Muddled

I don’t know what’s wrong with me but it seems like I got my dates mixed up. The TV interview is not on the 21st but tomorrow morning! La idiota!

I have checked the broadcast rundown but it’s difficult to express myself in pure Taglaog when talking about media literacy, echo chambers, propaganda, and grass roots communication. I tend to code-switch on topics like this, especially that I used to talk about this in the classroom and the medium of instruction is English. When I give communication trainings and seminars, they were always in English. I know I’m bad but I find it hard to explain abstract topics like this in my own native language (*face palm*).

I better prepare notes/talking points in Tagalog or else I might get carried away explaining in English.


I took it easy today because I was only able to sleep at past 4 am today. Too much milktea maybe. Ever since caffeine was cut off from me by my shrink (because of alprazolam), I had become more sensitive to caffeine, even just from a simple milktea drink.

Anyway, I grilled some skewered pork in barbecue sauce for lunch. Just because.

Photo by CallMeCreation.com

And my intention to be a good girl today flew out the window because I wasn’t able to go to UP and exercise and buy vegetables. I slept instead.

OK, I promise to wake up early tomorrow and work out indoors. *Really*

I was waxing the wooden floor of my bedroom when Twin I offered to take over and do it for me. My children are nice. I must be doing something good.

Ate C and I had been training them to do chores and they earn like 5 pesos for each. By the end of they week they have at least PHP 200 that they use to buy whatever. Twin I often buys milk tea while Twin A buys crafting stuff on Shopee. They hate doing the dishes but that’s the most number of chores they can do every week. They also carry shopping bags and put away groceries when I do my weekly shopping. Folding laundry and putting them away in closets. There are other chores that Ate C makes them do.

This is good training for them because when we transfer to my hometown, we won’t have any housekeeper anymore. Laundry would be done by each person. If you don’t do your own laundry, you won’t have anything to wear. I’ll just hire a weekly cleaner for general cleaning but it for the rest of the week would be “clean-as-you-go” style. Same with the ironing, I’ll just hire somebody to do the ironing for their school uniforms. Their mess would be confined to their room and it’s up to them if they want to live in a pigsty or not. As for the bathroom, I had always been cleaning the bathroom twice or thrice a week while I take a shower. For the cooking, I can batch cook or I’ll hire my mom’s cook to do it on a weekend and freeze them for the week.

That’s how we did it when our last stay-in housekeeper left when we were growing up. When I was in high school, we did our own laundry and we mostly kept our messes confined in our rooms. It’s only the public spaces that needed regular upkeep. We had a cook though because as I said before, cooking is not my mom’s thing.

This is why I chose to have a small unit (the size of a two-bedroom condo in Manila) so cleaning would be easier.


Updated. Art and photo by CallMeCreation.com

I had to completely dry the first layer and came back to this watercolor to do the second layer. The third layer should make the water grey and that should also fix hat awkward part above where it looked like a whale barfed on the water. The problem was I wasn’t able to mix the colors well. In my attempt to mimic impressionism, I ended up muddying the image (*face palm*). I will try to resurrect this on my third layer. I was attempting this technique below. I guess I’m really la idiota. I should have not completely covered the yellow with blue. It should have been in between and not over.

San Giorgio Maggiore by Twilight. Heritage Images / Getty Images

I’ve always been drawn to Impressionists because there’s always something ethereal about their works. Juan Luna’s and Felix Hidalgo’s works are along the same lines that’s why they were the ones I remembered at the National Museum.

Anyway, a drawing a day helps me improve. I need to go to museums because my creativity is drying up.

I have cut some of my 300 gsm water color papers so I can concentrate on post-card sized drawings so I can attempt botanicals. When I was in Shanghai in 2003, I spent an entire afternoon looking and studying Chinese scroll paintings. It was the same thing I did in Taiwan in 2016.

Photo by CallMeCreation.com

Let’s see what I can come up with.

Update. Art and photo by CallMeCreation.com
Well, ok. Not bad but messy. Art and phooto by CallMeCreation.com

Unforgiving

This Ukraine war is unforgiving. Many innocent lives even halfway around the world are affected and the poor are bearing the most burden. I just bought meat from Monterey (at Merkado in UP Town Center) and beef shanks cost more PHP 500/kg, pork cubes at PHP 400+/kg. Tomorrow I’ll see how much more expensive vegetables are.

I don’t know how jeepney and tricycle drivers survive this weekly exponential oil price hikes.

Another massive fuel price hike expected next week

By CNN Philippines Staff

Published Mar 12, 2022 11:31:35 AM

Metro Manila (CNN Philippines, March 12)— Motorists can expect another round of massive fuel price increase by next week, according to industry projections.

In its fuel price forecast released on Saturday, Unioil Petroleum Philippines said diesel costs may increase by ₱12.20 to ₱12.30 per liter, while gasoline prices may shoot up by ₱6.80 to ₱7.00 per liter for the March 15 to 21 period.

Better limit unnecessary long distance travel these days. *Sigh*


The empty watercolor half-pans that I ordered from Shopee arrived this afternoon and I began cutting blocks of my first Bento Picasso watercolors and added them to my portable watercolor palette so they can easily be chucked inside my bag.

We left home at 3 pm to go to UP Town Center because the Timezone there is big and the mall is open air so it’s better for the kids. Because, damn it, the variants of Covid are endless…

Got myself the fine watercolor brushes and the 0.05 Uni Pin fine liner. I should have gotten this earlier because it’s a game-changer when it comes to initial sketching since I can do more details without having to commit too much to the image. I don’t have to draw using pencil first unless the sketch is complicated.

I also like the Tokyo Finds rounded brush compared to the Monte Marte I bought from Art Bar. The 000 brush by Scrivo is hard to work with. I think the 02 rounded brush by Tokyo Finds can do the job better. Not bad for a local brand. Even its artist-grade water colors are comparable to Royal Talens’ Van Gogh line; it’s cheaper and it comes in a tin container with a flip finger holder so you can put the palette on your open palm while you dab on it—the ideal palette for urban sketching.

My brushes, so far. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

We then had a late lunch/early dinner at Hokkaido Ramen Santouka. I got the spicy ramen to wake me up. While waiting for our food, I started sketching Twin I.

Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Art and photo by CallMeCreation.com

After the meal, the girls hopped to Timezone while I bought milktea at Serenity, which was next door, and started drawing.

Photo by CallMeCreation.com

I love the 0.05 Uni Pin micropen!

Art and Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Art and Photo by CallMeCreation.com

It was already getting dark so I had to stop. I was already getting confused with the colors. We went to Merkado supermarket to buy meat and some snacks and went home. The girls were happy that they earned 1,000 tickets from Timezone and bought toys for Ate C’s nephew. They don’t have any use for toys and they need 6,000 tickets to buy earphones so might as well give the toys to someone else.

I continued coloring at home.

Agggh! The grey color bled. Art and photo by CallMeCreation.com

NOTE TO SELF: Do not use waterbrsuh for coloring small and narrow things!!!

My brush/pencil case. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
The watercolors bled from the back. Art and photo by CallMeCreation.com

The colors from the sketch at the back bled through this drawing of Twin I so I need to have this completely dried before I start coloring this again.

Still wet. Art and photo by CallMeCreation.com

Well, this sketchpad is for dry medium only that’s why I have to be more forgiving. I’m heavy handed when I do watercolors so bleeding through any sketchbook is expected. Except for 300 gsm watercolor papers but hardbound notebooks (a la Moleskine) with 300 gsm paper (cold pressed) are not readily available. I tried looking for them at Fullybooked and Art Bar. I’m about to order one online but I doubt the paper will be 200-300 gsm. I think I must make my own watercolor notebook by buying watercolor paper and bookbind them myself. I used to do it before but the results were rough because I didn’t have the proper tools. But after watching Rajiv Surendra’s bookbinding tutorial, I think I can attempt doing it and book binding tools are available on Shopee. I can buy the table clamps from Handyman or Ace Hardware.

I need a separate crafting table. My computer table could hardly contain my stuff when I sketch/watercolor.

Stress

The lawsuit threat was still being dealt with until this morning and I was a bit stressed by it but it’s mostly the fault of the PR for talking too much. But still we need to be careful in these markets that do not have free press because they think reporters can just be pushed around. They don’t know how to deal with independent media.

Ah Kimchi, keeping me from working again this afternoon. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

To add to my stress, my HSBC credit card was hacked and some dude in the US used my card to order from GoPuff—a grocery delivery service in the US—which clearly I do not have any use for. I had HSBC cancel my credit card to be replaced and I filed a dispute, showing proof that I used the same credit card on the same day to physically buy something here in Makati. I hope the bank can prove to the merchant that it was an unauthorized transaction since it was almost PHP 7,000. Whoever that bastard is may he fall on the sidewalk and break his ankle. I just received an email this afternoon that the HSBC held the amount until the dispute is resolved.

To relieve me of stress, I finished this watercolor sketch.

Panglao, Bohol., October 2019. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

And I began a new one.

Rough sketch. Angono, Rizal. Art and photo by CallMeCreation.com
First layer. Art and photo by CallMeCreation.com

This is just the first layer. I need to do three layers of this because this scene is supposed to be very dark. I cannot do wet-on-wet coloring because this would come out muddy. Mixing colors and doing wet-on-wet painting is a disaster for me. Only professionals can do that.

I need to buy more brushes because it seems like small nylon brushes for fine lining cannot do the work for me. They do not absorb water enough. My other brushes are ok since I don’t do large formats yet.

Maybe I should do this, no?

Image from Pinterest

I’ve been studying several styles of sketching and these days I just do either ink and watercolor or pure watercolor. I should explore this type of sketching.

Photo from Pinterest

I need to practice and practice everyday.

Tomorrow I will bring the girls to UP Town to play at Timezone while I practice urban sketching again. I also want to look at brushes and more watercolor paper (at least 300 gsm) because I am heavy on washes.

I wanted to return to walking in UP but Twin I said their dad does that everyday and I don’t want to encounter him there. So I guess we’ll just do our walkathon or biking at BGC on Sunday and then have breakfast there??? Until we transfer to my hometown, our only choices for such activities would be UP and BGC.

Speaking of going out, next week Kr and I would attending separate press conferences and we’ll just meet in Ayala Center again. Now I’m thinking of having that co-working membership and have a Manila office. At least I won’t be a floating entity here as I am not based in Singapore even if I would be head of the regional bureau. Let’s see how fast these face-to-face events would come back. I don’t know what’s more convenient for us: to have a co-working space membership or we just plop down in coffee shops since we have irregular hours anyway.

Meanwhile, all the political rallies of Leni Robredo had been blockbusters. Each province is trying to outdo one another, even if hurdles were put in place by the local government units allied with Bongbong Marcos, people still find ways to join them. The image here below is from Bacolod City.

Photo from Facebook

That’s why Marcos’ camp has been showering LGU heads with bribe money so that they can help in cheating in May. This kind of people turnout happened in Bulacan, Iloilo and Cavite.

This gives me hope.

None of the Marcos-Duterte rallies had this kind of response. And most of the attendees were given incentives to attend (cash or goods) whereas Robredo’s followers are all volunteers. It has been documented.

The surveys by SWS and Pulse Asia are skewed as they are commissioned by political parties. They have not even shown their methodologies—which is why the UP School of Statistics called out those surveys. They’re mind-conditioning strategies.

Media literacy

My best friend, who is teaching in UP, has been consulting me about some TV guesting in a show where she is an executive producer. The topic was “fake news” and the elections then our conversation drifted to media literacy and society. Then she said my ideas were perfect for the show so she onboarded me as one of the guests just talking about it. It’s funny because I only have a master’s degree on this while she has a PhD. Hahaha! She says I’m on the ground as a media practitioner so I have real-world application.

As a half-assed academic (or former academic), I do have my moments. 😂

I will be on air on the 21st.


Cradling Kimchi while I worked. Photo by Twin I.

I’ve been surrounding myself again with things I love to lift my mood. Recalling the horrendous days when I unearthed a lot of information and relating to my shrink my feelings and the roller coaster ride I experienced the entire month of Feb had undone me this week. Because I had been suppressing them so I can function but out of necessity I had to dig for them again. I just wish it would just end now. I had been squishing my cats today as a stress reliever. I also watered and trimmed my plants, which are blooming again. Woooohooo!

Photo by CallMeCreation.com
This was supposed to be dying a few months ago but it has now bloomed again. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
My variegated mini roses in bloom again. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Photo by CallMeCreation.com

After a day of editing, transcribing interviews, and writing an article, some quiet preoccupation is needed. Like tending to my plants or drawing.

Initial sketch. Panglao island, Bohol. Art and photo by CallMeCreation.com

Ok I just had a lengthy discussion with some editors this late at night because a company is threatening to sue us because my boss didn’t edit the story properly. It’s a long story but she really doesn’t edit and fact checks and stuff. My hands have always been tied because I cannot usurp my boss even though she’s effing up.

Sigh. I need to destress. I’ll start coloring this sketch above. Thank God for watercolor sketching.

UPDATE:

Domino effect

So the economist of a global bank told me today that Thailand will take a huge battering this year given that tourism is sooooo down plus global trade is weak, hence, it will continue to register huge current account deficits. Its currency would be the worst performing one this year in the region given that its economy is heavily dependent on external demand like tourism and exports. It is also hurting from the spike in oil since it is also a net importer of petroleum.

Meanwhile, the Philippines—which has been leaning heavily on internal/domestic demand to run its economy—will a bit insulated but with a caveat: its consumer demand will be dampened by a quickening of inflation. The food basket makes up a huge part of of its CPI and it will surely take a hit from the rise in fuel and electricity. Our fuel and power are not subsidized by the government so the full effect of the rise in world market prices easily hurts us. We have the highest power cost in Asia after Japan because we bear the full weight of market prices. Indonesia, which has an inflation rate of 2% mainly due to govt subsidies on fuel/power, will be the least affected by the spike because of this artificial stability in costs of goods and services. But this is at the expense of its national budget that would come under strain—public spending for services and infrastructure would be sacrificed. Malaysia to some extent will enjoy the rise in oil prices and super cycle in semiconductors but at the same time it would have to absorb the costs of these rise in commodities since it also subsidizes fuel and power.

As I said yesterday, the spike in commodity prices will redound to other industries.

Chinese metal giant faces heavy losses on wild nickel ride

Company bet on decline in prices but market has surged

The price of nickel soared as much as 250% in two days to briefly trade above $100,000 a ton early on March 8.   © Reuters

This affects all heavy industries dependent on steel and other alloys. If you’re a trader, it’s nerve wracking to short your position these days. Its suicide. Wild, wild market that we have now.


Despite sleeping late last night because of last-minute portrait sketching exercises (and waking up in the middle of the night because I was angry), I had a surprisingly good sleep thereafter so I was able to wake up in a good disposition. I was able to attend back-to-back meetings today without feeling exhausted and got a couple of stories.

Refreshed, waiting for the Zoom meeting/press briefing to begin this morning. CallMeCreation.com

I’m not good at drawing or whatever I’m doing on paper but it makes me feel great. I like it that I see progress in whatever I’m doing. Expressing myself in colors. Seeing colors. Dipping the brush in pans of colors…it’s like creating a world from what’s inside my head. Whatever I draw doesn’t have to be a replica of what I’m seeing but rather whatever I put on paper is what I see in my head or what my heart tells me I feel I should put on paper.

Here we are, my gay friend, K, and I are chatting and we’re talking about visiting museums when they reopen. I gave him a list of the places that we should go to.

Views of Rodel Tapaya’s work exhibited at the second floor of Artinformal gallery | PHxOTO: Tatler Homes Philippines
Photo: MCAD Manila

I told him I woke up on the right side of the bed this morning. “Art therapy does a lot to me,” I told him. “Art really helps no?” he remarked.

I am not your typical Filipino since I’m not really that interested in going to the US even for a visit. I mean it’s a lot of hassle getting the visa and all. I only entertained the idea because of J. But otherwise it’s not a priority. If I get seconded to our New York office (two-week trip for senior staff), I’m just interested in visiting museums, seeing musicals and straight plays, and eat. That’s it. My older sister did a three-week European trip in 2019 to see museums there because she was already running out of ideas. She was stumped and her painting stopped for a while. I want to do that trip as well. The girls are older now and since we will be moving closer to my mom, the girls can stay with her if I’m away for two to three weeks. I can do that during spring, when they’re on their summer vacation from school. They’re the reason why I limit my trips within Asia. I only can be away for a week or less than two weeks. Once I was away for 11 days (Japan), they were asking and crying why was I away for so long?

Let’s see if I can go to a photography exhibit this weekend.

We’re f*cked up so much

The markets are on a tailspin and commodities traders are going nuts. I’ve never seen prices like this before, not even in 2008 when the world had gone mad.

LME halts nickel trading after contract soars to $100,000 a ton

Price doubles to new high after short squeeze after Russia invades Ukraine

The extraordinary surge in the price of nickel has led the London Metal Exchange to suspend trading in those contracts.   © Reuters March 8, 2022 18:45 JST

Nickel miners here in the Philippines and Indonesia must be very happy right now but industrials are not. Steel bars are going to be very expensive and it would hit real estate companies that are building high rises. I remember one former Ayala Land president getting fired for hedging steel bars in 2007-2008, when prices were sky-high (according to grapevine). I was the one who interviewed him when he revealed that they hedged. That was also the problem with Philippine Airlines around that time, they hedged jet fuel—and registered losses when it just exited receivership. I clearly remember those times when I had been busy writing about those things…writing about going into the red. By that time I was already used to writing so much negative news having been seasoned by the global financial crisis–especially after Lehman Brothers fell.

I remember asking real estate companies then if they would make their units smaller or scale back project launches given that all prices of raw materials shot up. Their answer: both.

Younger local reporters ought to ask the corporates the same questions now if these reporters are enterprising and not boxed in like the usual lazy reportage that I had seen in my time with local media. During this time I should also have to ask them about possible refinancing or deleveraging given that interest rates would soon swing to an unfavorable direction. Let’s see how their financing programs would pan out with this crazy market that we have right now.


I’ve been watching sketching and urban sketching lessons online along with my Domestika subscription to level up my basic skills whenever I couldn’t sleep. I draw until I feel sleepy. It’s hard to have your mind blank when you’re waiting for your brain to stop working.

My facial proportion exercise no. 1. Art and photo by CallMeCreation.com
I purchased this course but I haven’t been following it step by step because I have a day job.

Initial oputput. Art and photo by CallMeCreation.com

I let this scene of Metro Manila viewed from Padi’s Point, Sumulong Highway, Antipolo dry first before layering.

Waiting for it to dry again. Art and photo by CallMeCreation.com

It’s hard to get the light colors right because the watercolors sometimes look like they’re enough when wet but when they dry up they look very transparent. So I need to layer again and again just to get it right. I’ll do the third layering tomorrow. My sister-in-law said this looks like the start of a zombie apocalypse.


Two nights ago I had a dream that I was performing in the musical Beauty and The Beast. I was at the backstage changing costumes. I was layering a costume underneath and was putting another one on top—the usual technique for actors when they had to deal with quick wardrobe changes. I was playing Belle.

When I woke up, I searched in my heart if I was missing theater. I think I do. It has been more than 20 years since I last performed on stage.

I played a nagging wife here circa 1890s. My partner here died in Oct 2020 but not due to Covid. RIP to you, B.
This was so blurred!I haven’t seen my co-actor here, E, for 25 years!

Theater was so much part of my high school and college life that I still dream about acting on stage. That’s why I love watching musicals and plays. The last adult musical I watched was Les Miserables, (I think), which was the Sydney production, which also performed in Singapore after their Manila run. Before that was PETA’s Rak of Aegis (the original cast) and ohhhh that was a very good one! The very last musical I watched was Repertory Philippines’ Beauty and The Beast when I watched it with the girls. The girls and I also watched one Ballet Philippines performance but I can’t remember if it was Rama and Sita (it’s the Philippines’ version of the Indian epic Ramayana–all Southeast Asian countries influenced by Hinduism have their own versions of Ramayana) or Ballet Manila’s Ibong Adarna

I wish theater will come back. I wish live concerts are back. They were my life then. Now that the girls are much older, I can bring them along with me to more stage performances. When I didn’t have kids, I vowed that I will expose my future children to the arts. Which I eventually did. Even when they were little, I brought the girls to different museums so they can be exposed to visual arts.

The girls at BenCab Museum, Baguio City 2017. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

Hmmm…Maybe we could go back to Pinto Art Museum this weekend. I’ll check also some art galleries that might be open now.

Gallery 7, Pinto Art Museum 02 February 2020. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

Woke up a few hours after I dozed off. I should go back to sleep but I can’t. I’m angry. Oh fuck you.