The UCC coffee I had last night kept me up until 5 am today. I was so groggy the entire day.
So for tiny house updates, my contractor told me the Meralco guys will be coming to install power lines next week. I need to apply for a water line next Friday.
Mommy, why is our bathroom fancy? Well, darling, those are tiles from Spain, which mimic microcement or slate. Photo by CallMeCreation.com I told Twin I that it would be fancier once the lavatory and fixtures are installed and the artwork are hung. Photo by CallMeCreation.com Overhead lighting in the girls’ room. Photo by CallMeCreation.com Sanding down what was a very red wooden floor. Photo by CallMeCreation.com The newly varnished bedroom door. Photo by CallMeCreation.com The cabinets are up. Photo by CallMeCreation.com The Kohler moveable kitchen faucet to make life easier for my dishwashers 😂 Photo by CallMeCreation.comCutlery drawer. Photo by CallMeCreation.com Condo-sizedbut I’m making up for it by using durable materials and fixtures. Photo by CallMeCreation.com Outdoor lighting. Photo by CallMeCreation.com Another outdoor lighting. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
I went out to meet with my BFFs for coffee and bakery goods at Wildbreads this afternoon. Had a good laugh for 3 hrs but we had to break up before dinner because, you know, weekends are for errands 🤷🏻♀️. My bestfriend T and I both suffered from anxiety and low serotonin this past few days. We both hate our admin work but that’s part of what we got appointed for. I told her about the other issues that I’m struggling with, which I don’t know how to deal with right now.
Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Maybe, it’s the season. I scanned blog entries from last year and I could see a pattern.
But it’s good to see friends and laugh our butts off.
Meanwhile, Ate C sent us this pic of our cats waiting for us. Awwwww. 😢
Kimchi waiting for me to come home from my mommy errand this morning. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
We will be driving tonight to my hometown. I need a change of scenery to ground me and to chase the blues away. To see my BFFs to cheer me up. Perhaps take a little hike to the forested upper campus. I need to let go of things that I cannot control.
I decided to cook hotpot today.
Lots and lots of different mushrooms that I bought from Sarang Mart, meat, tofu and dumplings. Photo by CallMeCreation.comJust letting the main ingredients boil first. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
I really need to shake this bad vibes off and clear away the cobwebs. I don’t know what else I should be doing to lift the dark clouds over my head.
A few hours later…
Photo by Twin A.
Remind me to leave much, much later on a Friday night. 🫠
I was just relieved that the piece that I had labored over for two weeks is finally published.
Pressure is still mounting within me. Stress is eating me alive.
My bosses didn’t approve my trip to Singapore next month. They said I just conduct interviews via Zoom.
That didn’t sit with me well (which is an understatement). I’ve hired via WhatsApp and Zoom and they turned out to be flukes. They’re no longer with the company. And to think I had lost my mind training them and was dragged through compliance and legal issues because they were not the journalists they claimed to be. The problem is I didn’t get a good “feel” of the candidates when I was in the process of hiring them. Well, I wasn’t the main decision-maker; I was just a deputy at that time. How can I poach with this kind of arrangement?!
When my company was hiring me almost 9 years ago, the APAC boss flew all the way from Hong Kong to talk to me at Podium in Ortigas. She took time to understand where I was and what my expectations were. I felt that I was given importance. That made a lot of difference.
I felt feel so blue today. Retaining a headhunter was out of the question because London didn’t retain any. A new approval from London is needed and it would take forever. Like forever. I told my boss that doing this by myself with no help from London and from HR will eat up 90% of my time and I cannot edit and chase stories. I would have to let things slide at a time when we are super undermanned. Which hurts me so much.
I am just so angry and sad.
At Wilcon Home Depot. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
I decided to go out of the house and drive to Wilcon Home Depot along C5 to exchange my extra curtain rod and toilet paper holder with a wall fan that I will have installed in my bedroom in my new home. A little bit of fresh air made me feel a little bit human again instead of being a ball of angry nerves.
Then when I opened my “newspaper” tonight, I saw this. You know, when America sneezes, the world gets chills.
To express my sadness, I resorted to painting bookmarks again.
It’s just one of those days when I just want to rock back and forth and hug myself. Things are not ok and I don’t want pretend that I’m fine by masking how I feel.
As my bosses said, don’t carry the weight of the world on your shoulders. Drop everything and just concentrate on one task.
I’m not fine. I’m overwhelmed.
I’m not fine. I’m tired.
I’m not fine, I’m sad. I feel alone.
Art and photo by CallMeCreation.com
Maybe tomorrow will be better. Maybe I will get some answers. Maybe I just need some assurance that it will be all right.
I’m not broken yet.
Art and photo by CallMeCreation.com Art and photo by CallMeCreation.com Art and photo by CallMeCreation.com
Forbes revealed earlier this week that the Wall Street giant is suing 30-year-old Charlie Javice, founder of Frank, and Frank’s chief growth officer Oliver Amar over claims that the pair sought to boost the fintech’s user numbers by creating 4.25 million fake accounts. The startup only had 300,000 customers, according to the lawsuit filed late last year in the U.S. District Court in Delaware.
“Javice first pushed back on JPMC’s request, arguing that she could not share her customer list due to privacy concerns,” the complaint continues. “After JPMC insisted, Javice chose to invent several million Frank customer accounts out of whole cloth.”
The suit alleges that Javice and Amar asked Frank’s director of engineering to create fake customer details after JP Morgan requested details on users as part of the takeover talk. After the engineer refused, Javice was then alleged to have paid a data science professor $18,000 to create millions of fake accounts using “synthetic data.” JP Morgan opened an investigation after test marketing campaigns to Frank’s users following the acquisition were “a disaster,” the suit says.
Forbes
According to some reports, an employee from JPM saw that the list contained exactly 1,048,576 rows, the maximum allowed by Microsoft Excel. Then JPM sent emails to all those in the list, many bounced back.
The question now is, why didn’t you do that during due diligence phase? The data room has been open to you for goodness knows how long and a simple test like that could have saved you USD 175m and your face.
The bigger question is, how do you even come up with the valuation of startups that do not have any assets, no tangible evidence that the business does really work? I remember talking to people doing due diligence, talking from a farm or in the middle of a plantation, or who just come out of a factory. Of course I couldn’t quiz them about the details but journos and due diligence workers must ask, how well do you even know the business? Does it even work/generate cash? Why do you base your valuation or important metric on the number of downloads or users? How much loans have you even disbursed and how much is the repayment rate? Have you watched the business cycle for several months? When are the lean months/period? Why?
I just had a conversation with a bunch of investors and one of them said his hobby is to sit in a restaurant, order food, observe the people, the customer turnaround, how the waitstaff operate…the entire day. For several days, months, etc. He does this for every business they are looking at.
We have a sister company that does due diligence/reputational investigation and they hire freelance journalists and other research professionals–to do the job on the ground because we’re good at that. We also have the inside knowledge/dirt–things that are super important but unpublishable–about companies and their owners after years of being on the ground. I was talking with one of the guys there and with their boss about some personalities or issues that are familiar to me as they had a lot of due diligence requests for this particular company from clients. They know their stuff. They know I know my stuff as well.
I had qualms about some business owners that I interviewed. I had talked to a founder of one tech company that on paper looked so good and would really attract a lot of ESG funds. But since this is just a bootstrapping company, I gave it the benefit of the doubt because what if this company becomes big? I quizzed the founder about how his business works. What is the thesis, why the world needs his company? What is it trying to solve? How are things quantifiable? How do you even give values to such intangible commodity? How does it generate revenue? Why should people use your product/system? Who are your competitors and what makes you different? Can others replicate your technology/system? I had the story published but I left the discretion to the reader if they want to check out this technology or not. I had quizzed the person beyond what was pushed in the press release.
Then I met him in Singapore and the PR kept pushing for this meeting. I talked to him and asked for an update since we last talked. He gave me a glowing account of the people he met, the offers he had, the partnerships he had forged, etc. etc. I asked him about the plans after getting the seed funding, which to me sounded so…ambitious. I took everything in stride and I told him I cannot write an update because I need to see for myself what the real progress he has achieved a year from now. I need proof of concept. I need real backers who had done their due diligence. I think that was the most responsible thing for me to do.
What were my red flags? He has a PR firm even before he has a real business, even before having a physical office in Singapore. Ok, granted that he is moving his business out of his home country but still…it left me uneasy.
I don’t know but I have a thing about having PR before a business is really proven.
So the biggest crime committed by media is that we tend to glorify the ubermensch-type of CEOs through listicles peddled by the likes of Forbes. The Forbes Under 30 had Frank CEO Charlie Javice on their list. This publication also had Harsh Dalal on their list and he turned out to be one big scammer. TechInAsia called out his bullshit because he could not substantiate claims and this publication kept doing their own investigation and published it. He has since been removed from the list.
I searched if we had his company in our database. OMG we did! I brought this up to our compliance team and legal department. After deliberations, we removed the story from our database.
It’s not far-fetched that we could be tricked by smooth-talking people, especially in Southeast Asia where you can conjure up crap from air and sell it like gold. I said always maintain that jadedness in you and not fall into that trap and spot bullshit. Know the sectors you’re covering.
I was reminded by this story I was editing about an Indonesian VC that was so inconsistent that I had to check all the websites (which they didn’t have), I had asked my contacts if they heard about this firm and the business that they claim to be operating, etc etc. I had news stories remotely related to his claims translated so I could understand what was that all about. Everything didn’t make sense and their LinkedIn profiles were laughable. I told my bosses I could not have this story published. That reporter who interviewed the company is no longer with us.
Another particular company stands out. It’s Solar Philippines and the local media has been publishing stories about this wunderkind, Leandro Leviste, who was in his early 20s at that time, was already a CEO of this renewable energy company. The reason why anybody was listening to him was because his mom was a senator. But after interviewing him one time, I found him to be a fluke. He had no substance. I did have one story about his company published and that deal did push through but then you know, I don’t want to…I simply didn’t believe him. I had sources telling me stuff about this company. After he had his company listed on the PSE, this story came out. The story was so powerful that the stock exchange made the company explain what the shit was all about.
Meanwhile, this guy, Joseph Calata, was just out of this world that I never interviewed him. Good thing because he was such a character (and he even invented his own cryptocurrency as payout for his minority shareholders when they got delisted 🤦♀️). In the end, the SEC had Calata Corp delisted in 2017 after being found to have violated 29 PSE rules. Calata even threatened to sue my friend for writing facts, things that the PSE already stated were questionable. I put the blame on the investment banks that had been the underwriters of this company’s IPO.
GUYS, DID YOU EVEN DO YOUR DUE DILIGENCE???
But again, it all boils down to the banks’ (JPM and those local ibankers underwriting these questionable IPOs) desire to close a deal. Because there’s this intense pressure to chase deals so due diligence takes a back seat.
So now I do think the first line of defense is the media. If you stop glorifying these under 30 wunderkinds, then you’re doing the world a favor. Do your job of asking the right questions!
Another bookmark in the works. Art and photo by CallMeCreation.com
I just got off from Microsoft Teams after chatting with my colleague in Japan for more than an hour about our colleague (L) who just resigned. You see, I held a farewell call for her during our team’s weekly call. Then after that I sent an email to APAC editorial mailing list about the Kudoboard for her, announcing her resignation.
Anyway, my MS Teams chat went from one topic to another and my colleague (N) was ranting about xxx and yyyy. He threatened to leave and told my manager about in February 2022. His former manager, M, who left us in March last year for some consulting firm, told him to stay in journalism. He said he sensed M misses journalism. M told him that in hindsight, her years with our company wasn’t so bad at all compared to her current company now where she is managing director.
It was a matter of the grass is always greener on the other side, I guess.
I told N that I also feel that discontent sometimes when I feel like the company is being unfair to me. L and I had been chatting as well and she was sending me names of companies that are hiring. I was looking at the job descriptions and nothing excited me. She said, maybe you would like to try something new. I said, I think I’m happy with journalism. And if I want to try something new, it would be data journalism/analytics that’s why I’m going to enroll in a training program for data analytics. Besides, none of the job openings are remote.
OMG, I didn’t realize that remote working is so important to me now, like it’s on top of my criteria. 🙀
During this chat with my Japanese colleague, N, we were talking about our angst about certain things. Then I sent him a photo of me (actually, my laptop) with a swimming pool in the background (the one I took after Christmas). He couldn’t believe I could work by the poolside or by the beach. I said whenever I feel shit about my job, I look at photos like this and tell myself that being able to work anywhere, according to my pace and comfort level, is something I cannot quantify yet. That flexibility as a single parent is very important, I just realized. Being able to turn off my Outlook or ignore it during the weekends is critical that most of us take for granted.
Even though being a journalist means you are always “on”, I can still afford to tune out when I need to.
Being at home to see my children and cook for them is precious. My kids always drag me out of my room to have proper meals with them at the table. It’s important to them.
L told me to just go through interviews, just to see what’s out there and how I compare against industry. Yes, she makes sense. But deep inside I feel it’s too exhausting and would just be wasting my time doing all that when I’m not ready to jump yet. I would know if a job description will click within me.
N said, you are doing good. You are where you’re supposed to be.
I don’t know how to turn off the confusion sown inside my chest. I don’t know how to quiet it down.
I don’t know. This disquiet is fueled by this desire to earn more so maybe if the company grants me the 8-point agenda I sent my bosses, maybe the noise will die down?
Twin A’s bookmark artwork. ❤️ Photo by CallMeCreation.com
This morning my thought was “If only I could just continue creating like draw/paint and make things with my hands, maybe I won’t be having this anxiety every Monday morning…”
Again, I don’t know where or how to reach that happy compromise.