Therapy

Photo by CallMeCreation.com

I cooked brunch today then I slept again after that. It’s unbelievable that I was still exhausted from yesterday’s trip. Then I woke up a little past noon when I was asked by my daughter to sign a proof of delivery as some industry friends sent me baked lasagna and blueberry cheesecake so I didn’t have to cook a midday meal or even dinner. My daughter, Twin I, and I gardened in the afternoon. I transplanted this flowering plant (I wasn’t able to get its name) and herbs I bought yesterday along CP Garcia Ave on the way home from UP where I bought our vegetables.

Basil and dill in our “dirty kitchen”. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

Then we planted some vegetable seeds in new plastic pots that I will transfer to our “dirty kitchen”/laundry area because this area receives so much sunlight all day. The vegetables and herbs will be protected from aphids outside plus we can just pluck leaves from our kitchen “garden” when we cook.

After gardening, I slept again and when I woke up, it was already dark.

Gardening is some kind of therapy for me these days as I still couldn’t go out due to fatigue. Watching something you grow and nurture is also fulfilling, like having my girls with me.

Speaking of nurturing, the stray cats that reside outside our compound have moved inside the compound as our neighbor had also been feeding them and tamed them. We also have been feeding these cats since we moved in here in October 2018–exactly three years ago! Our neighbor had put pet collars around them so people would know someone had already adopted them and think twice about abusing them.

Brushing him with a toothbrush. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

So this white cat has been trying to make himself cute to us while we were gardening this afternoon. He would lie down and go belly up and curl, something that my inside cats would do when they’re begging for some petting. Of course I didn’t pet it with my bare hands so what we did was we got a toothbrush and brushed it so it can have some grooming and belly rubs. It loved all the attention and loving touch. The girls were begging me if they can give the cat a bath, I said no because it’s not yet tame enough and we don’t know what kind of diseases it has. We have to tame it completely before we can do that. The compromise was we brushed on flea powder on it and the cat loved the brushing so much that it begged for a repeat tonight when I was checking out my partially charged fairy lights.

Kittykat waiting for us to play with him. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

When this cat finally becomes tame, I would bring it to PAWS to be neutered, checked, vaccinated and de-wormed. Then we will give it a bath. However, it will still have to live outside because I don’t want to have chaos in my house. We will just make some kind of cat house outside so they will be protected from the elements. I would have to buy wooden crates and I have some fiberglass roofing here that I used for my “dirty kitchen”.

They say a woman who has sworn off marriage and choose to live single the rest of her life would become a crazy cat lady. I guess I’m turning into that now…which is fine by me. Cats are obnoxious animals but when they do give you love, it’s real. They don’t give you bullshit.

Mockery

Duterte’s camp is really making a mockery of the electoral process. They fielded a clown to run for president alongside another clown, Bong Go, as vice president. Because you know what they will do? The last minute, they will do a substitution, with Sara Duterte running as president with her demon of a father as VP. They will make so much drama out of it, and the script would be like “people are clamoring for us to run so we will be making the ultimate sacrifice so we will, for the country.” And all of the DDS would be all applause.

OR

At the last moment, they will make a substitution, Sara Duterte will run alongside Bong-bong Marcos as his VP. If her ego can take it.

They have done it in 2016, they will do it again.

God save our country from idiots.


It has been two months since I last been in UP campus to buy vegetables and milktea for my kids.

In front of Bahay ng Alumni, UP Diliman. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

Prices have gone up. I could feel the rising inflation month-on-month and the problem is this is a supply-side issue that cannot be addressed by monetary policy alone. It is structural that requires some fixes in the real economy.

Anyway, after the veggies and the milktea, I went to Sarang Mart because I am running out of shampoo. Even before J came, I had been buying shampoos and side dishes in that Korean grocery store. I had been using either Korean on Japanese shampoos (Japanese Lux or Shisheido) for several years now even if they’re more expensive initially but they do last a long time. I remember in my last trip to Japan, I lugged several shampoo bottles of Lux back home because it was way cheaper compared to anything I saw in Singapore and even in HK. Then I found Lux in SM, which was much more expensive than the Korean Kerastase sold in Sarang Mart but a lot cheaper than Lux in Singapore (which I often bring back home whenever I have to report for work there).

So I had to replenish my stock. Bought Korean curry (which my girls liked), dried seaweed, dried kelp (which I use as kombu in some Japanese dishes), beef strips for hotpot, mandu, side dishes, furikake, ramyun, and I no longer remember what else i chucked in my basket.

Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Photo by CallMeCreation.com

When I was going back to my car, I lost my balance, sprained my ankle, grazed my foot on the pavement (was wearing slippers), and fell flat on my back. I didn’t realize that I was that exhausted with my short trip to buy foodstuff.

I am NOT yet ok. I’m still sick with Covid symptoms, mainly fatigue, even though I am no longer infectious and I can function somewhat normally. I still easily get tired and right now my head is aching. I woke up this morning coughing and wondered whether this was still Covid or allergy.

I think I will be sleeping my weekend away.

Knocked out

My Totoro collection. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
They make me smile. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

And just like that, my Sunday passed by like nothing. I slept the entire day. Literally the entire day. Covid is a traitor. Just when you think you’re already well, it suddenly saps your energy and knocks you out. I also thought my coughing is gone but here it comes again. I woke up this morning coughing like crazy. So all my good intentions for this day flew out the window. I was thinking of going to Quezon City Circle to buy gardening supplies but I could barely keep my eyes open today.

I don’t know how long I will be like this. Whenever I feel annoyed with my condition, I remind myself that I am one of the lucky ones who didn’t have to go to the hospital considering that I have asthma. Many friends’ and acquaintances’ family members, despite being fully vaccinated and young, have succumbed to this disease.

In other news, the live action series of Cowboy Bebop will soon be shown on Netflix. At least they kept the music of the original (how can you replace Yoko Kanno???) and is faithful to the campy intro of the original anime. Years ago I was hyped to learn that they were thinking of having Keanu Reeves as Spike Spiegel but he’s too old now to play Spike and instead they got Korean American actor John Cho, who looks too broody.

I hope this doesn’t disappoint. At least they could try to be the live action of Ruruoni Kenshin, which turned out ok for a super fan of the original anime and manga like me.

The little things

Gather the little things that put a smile on your face and your day would be brighter. It’s like gathering flowers from a field to take with you home so you would be reminded that life is indeed worth living.

My cats are destructive but their antics make me laugh.

Look at that guilty face! Photo by CallMeCreation.com

Gotcha! Caught in the act! I banished my cats from my room after the bad deed. Kimchi looked so guilty while Sushi made her escape quickly. They know when they did something they shouldn’t have.

Meanwhile, my solar-powered fairy lights have arrived. But I wasn’t able to charge them enough because they arrived late in the afternoon when the sun was already weak. But at least I know they’re working and automatically turn on when it’s already dark.

I should order more solar-powered garden lights, like the starburst or flower lights so when we sit outside on a clear and cool night like tonight, we are properly illuminated.

I can’t believe it’s already October and I have nothing to show for it. In December-January, I didn’t know how I would survive the coming days when I was dying everyday. I was taking one step at a time: wake up, get out of bed, eat, push myself to work, and then try to sleep again even though sleep evaded me. Then it was one day at a time. Baby steps. Until I got past the first month of being able to survive a broken heart. Then two months…and now it’s October. At that time I couldn’t imagine how life would look like 6 months or 10 months from then.

Then I survived and lived. With the help of friends who pushed me to get well physically, mentally, and emotionally.

It’s still October and yet I’m already feeling festive. I will be buying more Christmas crap from Lazada and Shopee tonight. I’m ordering book shelves from Ikea online to hide the cat litter box (I was able to hide another cat litter box under a chair I added next to the sofa) and probably look for patio furniture.

It’s the little things.

Good vibes

Fairy lights. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

The first batch of fairy lights I bought from Lazada arrived today and we installed it in our living room. It’s sending good vibes to all of us tonight. The led light bulbs are as small as rice grains and the wires are very delicate. I hope none overheats because my curtains may catch fire. So far my cats have not played with it…yet.

I love my cats to bits but they’re the reason why this is the second year I’m doing away with the Christmas tree. The tree may not survive my cats.

Gotcha, cat! Kimchi killing my toilet paper. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

I’m waiting for the solar-powered fairy lights to arrive and will install those immediately in front of the house. Then some patio furniture so we can have barbecue outside. With lots of mosquito coils and anti-mosquito candles.

Thinking of alternative Christmas decor this year because I want the holidays to be as festive as I could make it because 2020 and this year have been challenging for everyone, especially me on a personal level. I’m still learning, I’m still growing. I’m still trying to heal. This is the first time in 21 years that I am making big and small decisions without having to consider the approval of another person. Or the welfare of another person (aside from my kids). It’s just me and it is somewhat liberating.

Other people have not been nice to me so I need to be extra nice to myself. Love myself more. Once the rate of infection is down and some businesses have opened up, I will see my chiropractor in Makati, check in I’M Hotel and book myself an overnight spa package. Onsen all I want, three hours of head to toe massage, buffet dinner and buffet breakfast. I did that before for my mom’s and my birthday a couple of years ago.

I’m nearing the one-year mark. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

I’m going to train myself to be physically stronger so I can go hiking and camping again. Then on to Mt. Pulag. In between I will go to Moalboal in Cebu or Coron in Palawan to freedrive there. I don’t think travel abroad will be possible next year. Let’s say the chance is 50%. After experiencing Covid, I don’t want to be that sick again.

Let’s see what will happen…I need to post a job opening for correspondents in Bangkok and Singapore tomorrow. At some point next year I might need to fly to Bangkok, Ho Chi Minh, and Singapore because of the said requirement. I’m not looking forward to it. This is the same feeling I had after coming home from Shanghai-Xi’an-Shanghai with bronchopneumonia in 2014.

Drats, I need to renew my passport now! It’s expiring in March 2022.

Until then, I’ll just savor the time at home. Will soon be planting creeping roses that I will let grow on a trellis that I will construct between me and my neighbor so I don’t have to see their mess and I will just have the beautiful view of my roses, cosmos, petunias, and vegetables.

Letting go

My cats are fond of laying on things I am working on, like my daily diary because I’m scheduling my life in the next 3 months. Photo by CalleMeCreation.

I sent J yesterday the last batch of his stuff he left behind. I saw on Grab it was delivered but there was no word from him, no thanks, no acknowledgment. Nothing.

I was miffed. Like what did I do wrong to this person to earn this kind of treatment??? I was just being nice!

But then a friend reminded me, this is not about me. “It’s not you. Nothing is wrong with you,” K said.

Then I reminded myself, yeah, he has a problem. He could not be nice to me, until the end. He’s not really a nice person 😔

I just had to vent out to my friend and then move on. I slept on it. I’m ok now. As I told K, I am loved by my family and friends and a lot of people appreciate me. They sent their help and love to me when I was really sick with Covid. Then that means nothing is wrong with me as a person.

My girls kept on making me cards, sending their love. Reminding me of the most important thing in this world: my children.

Choose people who choose you.

That’s the lesson I learned from this experience with J. I should love myself as much as I loved him. If I had more self-confidence and self-love, and didn’t think that I had to do more and become a doormat to earn his love, I wouldn’t have gone through the ugly last six months of our relationship that crushed my self-esteem.

I think I have finally let him go, in the truest sense. Like whatever he does that is not connected to me will no longer affect me. He no longer has the power to hurt me. I have taken that power back.

Happiness is a choice. I choose to be happy. I will love myself more and enjoy my life as I ought to.