You should have done this, Mommy

Screenshot from Palawan News

Twin I sent this to me and went up my room to tell me I should have done this. “You should have sold his gaming rig, Mommy.”

Huh?

“Tito J,” she said.

Awww. This girl is very sore about Tito J. Can’t blame her. She’s really hurt.

I should have done to J what Will Smith did to Chris Rock today at the Oscars for disrespecting me.

As for her dad? “Mommy, do you know you can sue a father who doesn’t send financial support to his children?”

“Yes I know,” I said. “Do you want me to sue him when he doesn’t have money?”

“Well he says he is stand to inherit xxx million from Lolo,” she said. Gee, that idiot is really not exerting effort to improve his lot and is just waiting for his father to die.

“Tell him to give you money for college tuition,” I said.

Losers.


Meanwhile, in satirical news that I wish they’re true:

This. If only my teachers in elementary and high school could be sent back to be re-educated 😣 The level of cognitive dissonance is unbelievable. And to think these are the same people that tried to shape our world view. 😥


The new plants that I will strive to keep alive during this season of intense heat.

Photo by CallMeCreation.com

There should be a better way of arranging these plants. They don’t make sense anymore. I need risers. Even if my world doesn’t make sense now, at least my container garden should.

I’ve told my new APAC boss that I need to be in Singapore for 8 days in July for our annual conference, which will be held face to face for the first time since the pandemic began. I just submitted to London HQ my request for travel to SG. But I think I need to be in Singapore even before July, probably May. I need to arrange a lot of admin work. *Le sigh*. The hiring process for new reporters is taking a loooooong time.

To cap off the weekend

Massage via Zennya. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

Yey! I finally was able to book a home massage! I had a hard time booking them the past few days because 1) either I was too late; or 2) I was too early. It’s hard to time it because there are times I work way past my shift. I could feel my muscles relaxing a little bit but I think a dip in a hot tub is called for. However, I’m too lazy to drive all the way to Makati and I also don’t want to encounter the weekend crowd.

This is one of the reasons why I want a soaking tub in our future house. Whenever I’m at my mom’s, I hostage her bathroom and I spend an hour soaking in hot water in her tub.

Anyway, I received a message from my sister about the supposedly Leni rally on April 30th. It’s not going to push through. There was a notice from the Makati chapter that it was decided by the national HQ of the campaign that the Grand Metro Manila rally may not be in Makati as they’re still deciding which southern city will host. So those who have reserved hotel rooms can cancel their reservations because the Makati leg may be earlier.

Ehhhh, one reservation I had was a one-bedroom suite in a serviced apartment in Valero and that can be cancelled with refund. However, the one in Salcedo is a studio in another serviced apartment and cannot be refunded. That one is more expensive. So might as well we use that for staycation so the girls can enjoy the pool while I have my massage in the room. We’ll also take the opportunity to stroll and shop at the Salcedo weekend market. It’s such a shame though. The amount I will be spending could been channeled to a weekend in Anilao. Oh well.

This morning I woke up at 7:30 to water my plants before the unforgiving summer sun fries them.

I’ve learned now the quirks of my plants. So my roses love direct sunlight as long as they are watered twice a day. My other plants couldn’t take the heat and have dried up. Or others were over-watered/placed in a shaded area when they should be under direct sunlight so they just died, probably of root rot because the soil didn’t drain well/not under direct sunlight. Some plants, I have learned, have to be rotated to catch the morning sun or the others just like the afternoon sun. All trial and error.

Morning glory. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

So all my morning glory that I planted from seeds have sprouted and are growing nicely. They love direct sunlight. This one bloomed this morning and closed again at noon. It chases the morning sunlight (hence the name). It would look lovely when all of my morning glory plants have bloomed.

This inspired me to go to QC Circle again this afternoon and bought more plants. I couldn’t take photos after I finished transplanting my flowers because it was already dark. My mom would be so envious of me when I show her tomorrow my container garden. 😄

I’m back to sewing for the meantime because I needed to repair some masks and I need to finish the curtains. I also couldn’t finish this sketch last night because this damned poppy is too complicated.

Art and photo by CallMeCreation.com

It may take me a week before I finish this.

Weekends are something I look forward to nowadays. I used to dread it because weekends meant endless hours of living inside my head, of crying, of hurting. I now take it all in stride. Whenever he enters my head, I remind myself of his betrayal and what an assh*le he is, then I banish all thoughts about him—and continue enjoying my weekend.

The truth really did set me free, albeit it was not an easy road. My entire February was all about trying to stabilize myself again. So I am closing this month of March with a healthier outlook and I hope there are no more curve balls coming my way.

Botanicals and an angry volcano

I got a new brush. Art and photo by CallMeCreation.com

So this Kuretake Gansai Tambi is really for botanicals, the traditional Chinese painting kind, because it requires mostly layering.

More layering…Art and photo by CallMeCreation.com
Layers upon layers. Art and Photo by CallMeCreation.com

Lesson learned: 1) Do not use Kuretake for washes; 2) Best for botanicals or traditional Chinese painting; 3) good for illustration that needs opaque colors and doesn’t require the heaviness of gouache. 4) Aside from the size of the palette and the pan, this watercolor is not suitable for urban/plein air sketching because of the said paint quality.

If I finish this palette, I doubt if I will buy it again. I think I’m better off with Holbein. If I become good enough, I can invest in Daniel Smith.

I also tried my new #1 portable brush that I ordered from Shopee. It’s good for detail painting along with my #000 da Vinci brush. At least this latest botanical drawing is no long as messy as my previous attempts when the smallest brush I had was #2

Insert the brush into the hollow of the handle so it can protect the brush and this can be chucked inside a travel palette. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

I think I want to invest in Chinese brushes and attempt a Chinese watercolor drawing again after 25 years. Twin I said among the things I painted, it’s the Chinese-style black and white painting of a bamboo forest that she liked best. The one that hangs above my computer monitors that I made when I was in high school with a difficult Chinese brush.

Gee, I was better when I was in high school even if I was just using cheap brushes and Pentel watercolors. 😂 Oh well, I had a lot of time in my hands then to practice.

My gallery wall close to being filled up. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

My gallery wall is now almost filled up. However, 12 months from now I would have to take them down as we would be transferring to my hometown. I hope I have enough wall space for all of these. Or I will return my sister’s paintings.

I think I need to go home next weekend and talk to another contractor.

I should have gone today since the girls are again with their dad. Oh well, I’ll just bring them along next week.


Taal Volcano erupted again today. Phivolcs raised the alarm again to Alert Level 3 and people had to evacuate again.

I hope the people along low-lying areas of Talisay and Tanauan are safe.

My parents’ hometown will be covered again by ashfall. I hope Anilao is not as affected or else my reservation is in danger of being pushed back again.

In other news, Taylor Hawkins died today. I don’t know if Foo Fighters can still continue…Maybe…since Dave Grohl is still there. But then Led Zeppelin disbanded after the death of John Bonham. 😑


That I lived up to 42 and a single mom to twins. And surviving.

But then at the back of my mind when I was younger, I knew somehow I’ll end up single. I don’t know. Maybe I’m that jaded as early as high school. I knew that men couldn’t be trusted. And every time I let down my guard I always end up with scumbags. Except maybe for that ex who climbed a mountain with me but he really wasn’t into climbing mountains 😂. It was just we were incompatible and it was a mutual decision to break up. Later on he tried to get back with me but I have already moved on. I’m not a fan of recycling. But he was a good guy. It’s just he wouldn’t be able to keep up with me.

The rest…my younger self wouldn’t be that surprised that I am an international news wire reporter. I had always been driven and at the back of my mind I knew that I would be working towards it. It’s not really a goal but it was one of the things I wanted to try. In one way or another I know that I would end up where I am today now.

When the war comes closer to home

How devastating it is for innocent families to flee their homes for an uncertain future because of one man’s greed.

In my own little way I’m helping a refugee family remotely by helping the dad with his work as he is now under my wing as they escaped to one of the markets I’m in charge of. I gave him all the leads I was working on and in the following days I will be introducing him to some of my sources.

We don’t know how long this war will last. I hope not long.


So i tried the initial wash and the washing itself is challenging because the colors just stay in place. So no, gansai colors aren’t meant for washes. They should be for layering only.

Second layering. Art and photo by CallMeCreation.com

This sketch is done on an A5 sketchbook and you could only imagine how small those kois are. It’s difficult coloring them without messing them up.

Third and fourth layering. Art and photo by CallMeCreation.com

I’m just letting this completely dry and I’ll pencil over some grass and bushes and make an outline of the azaleas.

UPDATE

With pencil-over. Art and photo by CallMeCreation.com

All I can say is, gansai colors are very hard to control.

I know now what this is best for: flowers.


While I was drawing, Breaking Benjamin was playing and it was the song “I will Not Bow”. It was the song that strengthened my resolve to keep fighting everyday when my girls were on life support when they were born. I played it everyday while driving to the hospital for a month.

It’s now my anthem; I will keep fighting and I will survive this. I will no longer break. He will no longer break me.

Fall

Now the dark begins to rise
Save your breath, it’s far from over
Leave the lost and dead behind
Now’s your chance to run for cover

I don’t wanna change the world
I just wanna leave it colder
Light the fuse and burn it up
Take the path that leads to nowhere

All is lost again
But I’m not giving in

I will not bow
I will not break
I will shut the world away
I will not fall
I will not fade
I will take your breath away

Fall

Watch the end through dying eyes
Now the dark is taking over
Show me where forever dies
Take the fall and run to Heaven

All is lost again
But I’m not giving in

I will not bow
I will not break
I will shut the world away
I will not fall
I will not fade
I will take your breath away

And I’ll survive, paranoid
I have lost the will to change
And I’m not proud, cold-blooded fake
I will shut the world away

I will not bow
I will not break
I will shut the world away
I will not fall
I will not fade
I will take your breath away

And I’ll survive; paranoid
I have lost the will to change
And I’m not proud, cold-blooded fake
I will shut the world away

Fall

Half-day

I was dead until 12 noon today. I just slept. I woke up because I was hungry and I forgot that today is the political rally of Leni Robredo-Kiko Pangilinan at Ortigas Center.

My sister and a lot of my friends are out there. I was thinking whether I should try to join but then we still have Covid.

According to friends, at least 140k people joined.

Ortigas Center was a sea of pink.

Drone shot.
Another drone shot.

In other videos you can feel the energy of the crowd, everybody was happy and this was not chaos.

I would have loved to be there but I’m scared of getting Covid again. I got Covid even I was fully vaccinated. But I’m happy that a lot of people are coming out supporting the opposition.

Marcos will make sure that there will be cheating on May 9.

Hmm I should contact PPCRV and see what I can do to help at HQ.


The reason I was asleep half of the day was because of this.

I really need a drafting table. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

I was drawing until 3 am. First off, I cut the watrcolor drawing I did that is no longer working for me. I did that to recycle the 300 gsm watercolor paper.

Photo by CallMeCreation.com
The back is still useable. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
I checked the proper perspective. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
I applied what I’ve learned from Domestika. Art and photo by CallMeCreation.com
Did the initial coloring. Art and photo by CallMeCreation.com
Himeji Castle Gardens. Art and photo by CallMeCreation.com

This sketch will go to my friend K as a get well present along with the food I’m gonna send tomorrow.

Since I didn’t go to the rally tonight, my girls and I just went to Ikea to buy their chairs because the ones I bought from Ofix are beyond help. The girls’ backs are suffering and the chairs are really falling apart.

Cart is full 😋 photo by CallMeCreation.com

I also bought bins to corral my sewing stuff and painting stuff, a floor lamp for the living room, and lots and lots of frames.

Then we went to SM Department Store to buy the girls their birthday T-shirt dresses. The clothes I bought them a few months ago can barely fit them now. 😩 They grow up really fast.

Got home at 10 pm. We had to take C5 because of the huge traffic jam caused by the Leni rally at Ortigas.

I’m tired. I don’t think I can draw tonight.

Art therapy working

As I said yesterday, I will pick myself up today. Art has helped me channel my anger into something more productive. I chose a difficult subject so I can concentrate on it and in the end it was all worth it.

I sketched in between editing stories. It took me almost an hour to finish the pencil sketch because there were so many adjustments. I was debating whether I do a wet-in-wet or layering. I decided on layering so it took me several hours to finish this because I needed each layer to be dry before I do darker coloring.

Making slow progress. Art and photo by CallMeCreation.com

I really have to master wet-in-wet to produce a smoother color gradation. In the meantime, wet-in-dry layering would suffice.

I’m happy with the results. Art and photo by CallMeCreation.com

I’m excited with what I can do when I have the Kuretake Gansai Tambi. 🥰

I took it easy today, edited only a couple of stories and did not exert effort to write my own (I’ll do that next week). So I played with my cats more.

Kimchi trying to be cute. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
She continued to beg for some petting. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

I haven’t attempted drawing my cats. If I do draw my cats, I’ll make them into cartoons 😄

Meanwhile, my new 10-year passport arrived and I’m stuck with that ugly passport photo for a decade. The good thing is I can now fly to Singapore once I get the go signal from my bosses. Our company is already implementing return-to-office (RTO) in phases so it would take a while before I can fly to our different offices. Except for HK as its government (or Beijing for that matter) is still having delusions that they can keep up with the zero-Covid policy. My colleague in Shanghai was complaining to me that he had to cut short work yesterday to shop for supplies because they’re going to have another lockdown and mass testing.

In a related development, I had been looped in the entire communication thread of another platform in our company and it seems like I have another reporter placed under my wing. He was the one who I had helped with raising funds for his daughter’s hospitalization and burial. So today I gave him two assignments to pursue and gave him the agencies he needs to talk to, the questions, the angles to pursue. It seems like I need to co-write that story with him.

I have to attend a lot of conferences and meet people so I can be in the loop when it comes to the topics published by that platform since I will be straddling two titles now.


So my plan to go to National Art Museum and Intramuros is thwarted as the girls will be spending the weekend with their dad. I think I’ll just take advantage of their absence by staying home, catch up on some sleep, and finish pending tasks like the curtain panels that I should be finishing but had just been stewing on my other table for 10,000 years. My girls asked me why do I keep on beautifying the apartment when we’re moving soon anyway? I said as long as we’re here, I want my environment to be pretty and enjoyable. I mean, I’ve been through hell and back (and back). Might as well make myself happy now and not wait until when we’re in our new home. I planted morning glory seeds and now they have grown and soon the plants will be creeping on the trellis and the courtyard will be filled with flowers. I have no idea what the colors will be. It doesn’t matter; I will leave them here when we move.

Photo from Almanac.com

We live in the NOW, not for the tomorrow, not for yesterday. So might as well make myself happy now even if it means I would be dismantling everything soon when we move. I have exactly 12 months to enjoy what I have created here.

I should remind myself that I do not live in the yesterday as well, that he already belongs in the past and he should no longer hurt me. But I can’t help it that at times I get angry that he gave me so much hell.

I hope I no longer experience basura days and I no longer get triggered. I will no longer talk about him with friends. I don’t know if I could avoid this with my shrink though.

I’ll just cook for my friend K tomorrow. It makes me happy that somebody else is happy with my cooking. Love in a pot.