Category Archives: personal

They can’t afford me

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“I’ll cross the bridge when I get there. But if ever, teaching will be good. I’m a lawyer. But entering government? No way. They can’t afford me,” she said with a laugh. “I’ll fire all of them.” –Liza Araneta-Marcos

Politics.com.ph

Ahh shades of Imelda Marcos. She’s scary.

And yet they don’t want to pay their taxes.

Tax expert Mon Abrea says simple math would have pushed the bill into the stratosphere. Twenty percent interest is slapped on every year the tax is left unpaid. Justice Carpio says the passage of so much time makes a case against the heirs, especially Marcos Jr., of willful refusal to pay. He says there’s a remedy for that.

NPR.org

God save the Philippines from the Marcoses. I can’t blame friends and millions of Filipinos who want to migrate if this idiot wins.

Bongbong Marcos will move the Philippines closer to China

Beijing stands ready to help Marcos family consolidate power over the long term
Alvin Camba
April 5, 2022 17:00 JST

Alvin Camba is assistant professor at the Josef Korbel School of International Studies at the University of Denver and a faculty affiliate at the Climate Policy Lab at Tufts University

Ferdinand “Bongbong” Marcos Jr., son of the former dictator Ferdinand Marcos, is on track to win the May 9 Philippine elections.

As Bongbong has himself said, he will move to maintain a strong relationship with Beijing while not completely abandoning ties with the West. Beijing likely expects Marcos to disregard the 2016 ruling by an arbitration court in The Hague that rejected Beijing’s territorial claims in the South China Sea and kowtow to China on crucial international issues.

The makers of The Kingmaker have made their film about the Marcoses free to view for everybody. Unfortunately, Filipinos are stubborn, especially if their core beliefs are challenged–if they’re corrected.

All my plans for today were wiped out as the weather turned weird. It rained non-stop today, like it’s already August.

Parking area. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

Well, it’s a good thing that it rained so Lamesa Dam and Angat Dam can be refilled, if not up to the safe level. This assures us that there will be no water shortage in the coming days…or weeks. The temperature cooled up a bit from 30s down to 26 as of this moment. But because of this weather (and lack of sunlight), I did nothing but sleep. And edit three stories. Do some admin work, touch base with a source, and listen a bit to a webinar. I’m giving myself this day to slack off because—I dunno. I don’t feel like it.

This is my day of letting steam off because of my annoyance with company leadership issues. I couldn’t help my colleague with her job requests because of reporting line issues (vague). It’s really annoying me. It’s already April and there’s nothing definite happening. They couldn’t even give me the proper transition timeline. 🙄

To rid myself of annoyance, I temporarily halted my repetitive curtain sewing and returned to my complicated poppy flower drawing. It’s making me cringe. Either I finish this or I move on to drawing humans.

I suddenly remember my lawyer-artist friend who commented about the girl I was cheated on with by my ex-husband; he said she is not a fine artist but she’s more of an illustrator (they have common friends). That’s why she kept on doing squiggles and abstract graphic arts. I trust this friend because he is a really good fine artist and he has been winning competitions left and right but he chose to be a lawyer because…he wants to earn well. So now he shifted to photography and buying expensive equipment and drones has been his pastime.

So now my question is, what do I want to become? I don’t know. I just draw and paint to express myself. I’m not even good. But it forever frustrates me that I am having a hard time drawing faces or humans for that matter. I need to up the ante. Challenge myself.

Let’s start with this:

Practicing with grid lines. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

I’m not yet brave enough to do full frontal. Probably I’ll do pencil first because I’m more decent with pencils.

Top Gun

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It was every boy’s fantasy to be part of Top Gun after it was shown some thirty-plus years ago—my brother included. The aerial dog fights and anything about flying jet planes tickled their imagination. So I guess my brother is looking forward to watching Top Gun: Maverick. I also remember a poster of Top Gun Tom Cruise in the old house I grew up in…I asked my older sister why she put that up and she said she can’t remember why 😂 I’m thinking twice if I should brave watching this movie in theaters but this kind of movie should be watched on the big screen. I’m wary of being in enclosed spaces because Covid is still very much with us. One of the reporters in my bureau was reinfected with Covid, two months after of getting it in February. I don’t want to get bogged down by Covid again. It was just a nasty experience.

https://www.instagram.com/p/Cb55eZZBCw4/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

THIS!!! Louder for the people at the back!!!

This is the reason why it’s better to completely heal first instead of using another person to “heal”/forget. To basically rebound. You’re still being toxic yourself so it’s gonna be hard to have a healthy relationship with anybody who still carries a lot of baggage.

Some friends don’t understand. It’s not me just holding on to the past; it’s me trying to be healthy first before anything else. I need to learn to completely love myself first before I love another person outside my immediate circle. But I’m not doing this with the goal of meeting a new person. I’m doing this for myself because I OWE it to myself. I’ve been through so much shit and it’s about time I prioritize me.

So right now I’m trying to start my week with good vibes. Like this, a clean workspace to motivate me to be productive on Mondays.

I bought a new desk mat because I’m tired of my mouse pad moving around my table. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Watering and pruning my plants everyday to keep them healthy. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

These are the little things I regularly do to love myself and appreciate life again.

Tomorrow I may go to Marikina to look around a pottery maker’s showroom for reasonably priced decorative clay pots and pedestals.

Pink is the color of tomorrow! Photo by CallMeCreation.com

My big roses have started to bloom again. Lots of patience and moving around of pots to learn the optimal sun exposure and watering frequency of these flowering plants. Good things come with patience. You can’t just rush things.

While the world is busy with Ukraine and its effect on each region, Myanmar has been largely ignored these days. The Myanmar central bank suddenly came out with a directive regarding forex:

A Myanmar resident, who asked not to be named for security reasons, expressed concern about being able to access their deposited savings and how much could be withdrawn.

“If we can’t withdraw, everything we earn will be stuck in the bank,” the resident said.

The official central bank exchange rate for the kyat is currently 1,850 per dollar, but this tends to be well below the unofficial black market rate.

Myanmar central bank says FX deposits must be converted into kyat, Nikkei Asia

The country’s economy is spiraling down further. It’s hard to do my reportage remotely when nobody is willing to talk to me, even anonymously.

silhouette of hot air balloons
Balloons over Bagan, Myanmar. Photo by Boris Ulzibat on Pexels.com

Looking forward to the Holy days next week. Metro Manila will be empty of people eager to go to the provinces as they do their revenge travel. The beaches will be teeming with people. As for me, I’m staying put since I know the provincial roads will be super clogged with SUVs. Maybe the girls and I can go to the Intramuros churches to do visita iglesia and at the same time I can do sketching. We can bring our bikes. We can also bike along Roxas Boulevard, along Manila Bay.

light city art street
Manila Cathedral. Photo by Gerald Escamos on Pexels.com

Before that, I still need to help them review for their upcoming tests and I’m giving them some pointers for their music lessons.

My drawing for my girls’ music lesson. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

Now I know why I had to go through those rigorous piano lessons and rondalla practices all those years: so I can teach my children music down the road. 🤔 I even had to teach them how to properly write a G clef. One day they will learn how to transcribe music notation on music staff, the least favorite of my duties as a music student 🎹 and glee club member.

After the first batch of their final exams, we will be celebrating the girls’ 11th birthday. I need to order food before everything closes down for the Holy Week.

Lazy Sunday

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Lunch/dinner. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

I slept earlier than usual last night but I still woke up at 10 am. The only thing I did today was to grill these pork chops and then repotted some plants in pots that are not draining well. Also planted some marigolds, calendula, aster, and leeks. I have more luck growing flowering plants than vegetables but let’s see again if I can grow leeks, which I consume a lot in a week.

In between, I helped my daughters review their music lesson—textures and dynamics—which they had trouble with because it’s hard understanding triads, monotones, etc through remote teaching without a piano accompaniment. So I told them they should take advantage of their mom who knows a thing or two about music. I demonstrated to them the lessons with the help of my piano playing, Youtube, and Spotify.

It was already 5:30 pm when I was done with the garden. I took a long, luxurious shower, and rested while I was booking a Zennya massage. Then I fell asleep again! I don’t know what’s my body trying to tell me but maybe it’s making up for weeks/months of not being able to properly sleep. It seems like my mental state is more relaxed now after a tumultuous February so my body has uncurled from its formerly tense and rigid state. Thank God for that! I pray that this will continue so I can move on to bigger things like starting to build my new flat.

And no Zennya. I couldn’t book a massage therapist. It seems like everybody is spending lazy Sundays like I do.

I am resisting the urge to do more DIYs around here but this guy is convincing me to buy that jigsaw and do more magic.

In the meantime, I’m finishing the curtains for the house to block out the intense sunlight and to replace the ones mangled by my cats 🐱😹

Nearly done with this last curtain panel…Photo by CallMeCreation.com

I’m starting to love weekends again ❤️❤️❤️

Smart beefcake

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Not only is he a great dad with sense of humor and a loving husband, he is also a smart beefcake, too. I had been following his Instagram for 4 years now and he is really hands-on with this Centrfit company he has built with his partners. He road-tests the exercises personally that he or his partners devise for this platform. I didn’t try it when he offered a 30-day trial because the exercises are hardcore or high-impact that can shatter my knees.

Read the rest of the thread on Twitter.

As I posted on my FB wall:

Please read this Twitter thread. This is scary Please get out of your echo chambers. Reach out to the people in your communities.This is extremely disturbing. The enemy is really well versed in the art of black ops. Hiring microinfluencers to shape the psyche of the C, D, E markets who do not have the access to fact checkers because it requires money (data, airtime load, smart phone) to access Tsek.ph.

“When I heard about them hiring micro influencers, I just thought of them as, perhaps, a message conduit, but receiving these questions (lalo na yung most recent. I mean? Saan nanggaling yung ipapatanggal ang ambulant vendors?), kinilabutan ako.”–@hannahbarrantes

As I said during the interview in ________, those in the lower economic level are not being reached by the truth brigade. The battle against “fake news” should be approached at the grassroots level. Apply the different communication tools in AKAP principle in social marketing (Awareness, Knowledge, Attitude, Practice). This should not just be a bullet way of using mass media/social media . We’re only scratching the surface and we are failing in the first step–making people aware. Graduates of _________ know what I’m talking about when I say social marketing concepts for rural development. Same principles.

I’m getting tired. This is the longest election season I experienced. I was just chatting with one of my BFFs and she said if BongBong Marcos wins, they will no longer come back to the Philippines from their vacation in Australia and just process their immigration papers from there. Another former colleague already left for Canada, never to come back.

These are educated people. Brain drain. If Marcos wins, there will be an exodus of skilled and educated Filipinos.

This is what we do on Friday nights.

Twin A applying facial mask on me. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

Twin A bought me facial masks from SaveMore. I don’t know why but she did. And she insisted that she put it on me tonight to help me relax after work. Since she used her own money for this gift, I obliged.

No filters. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

Clean face, pampered with love from my daughter. Nothing can beat that.

Yes, I’m already 42 years old and damn proud of it. If he finds me old, then he has a problem, it’s not me who’s the problem.

Seeing good in people

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Giving people the benefit of the doubt sent me to the deeper end and it always, ALWAYS had been detrimental to me. I justify my love for them that’s why I give them allowances.

Took me so much hurt and rude awakening to realize he is an evil person. I had been making excuses in my head, searching for the good in him but I ignored the big glaring fact that he is what he is.

Learned the hard way.

Let me tell you another story. This one is less political.

So my ex-husband has had this penchant for cheating on me even before we got married. Why I stuck with him, I don’t know. Maybe I was there to prove something, like I can turn him around/rehabilitate him or what. Anyway, this story is not about that.

There was this girl who kept on messaging him on his mobile phone. One day she called. I answered it. Told her I was the wife of M. She threw expletives at me and among the many things thrown at me, all I could remember was she was a gf or something—whatever. I shouted at my bf (at that time) and threw his phone, broke it and flushed the SIM down the toilet.

I learned that my bf/ex-husband didn’t lose contact with his gfs and he kept them all on the side, you know, “in case of emergency.” (Among the other life skills I learned was to hack into his emails and his phone to discover his indiscretions). I stalked this girl online for a long, long time and messed up her blogs and so on and so forth. My investigative journo skills were in full mode at that time. What bothered me was that this girl looked like me, my brother said. At that time she was a call center agent. I learned that she took up a course under the UP College of Mass Communication but got kicked out of the program and had to relocate to a faraway campus, got into another program where her grades were more acceptable. Anyway, with the rise of social media, she became more visible to me. What’s funny is that because she is so in love with herself, she didn’t even bother making her social media accounts private.

I no longer have a beef with her right now and out of curiosity as to what she’s up to, I searched for her online. It seems like she lives on the outskirts of BGC, one of the condos there on the edge because I think one of the views from her window faces Taguig and she hangs out at BGC a lot. There was one time there was an art fair at Bonifacio High Street and she had a booth there and I came face to face with her. She probably doesn’t have any idea who I was but I fully knew who she was. She is this artsy-fartsy thing who does art commissions, or so she tries to project on her social media posts. She hangs out in coffee shops around BCG and does art on her tablet.

I think she’s a perfect target for someone like J. I wouldn’t be surprised if he gets to pick her up randomly.

It’s just a wild thought but I know she would be a good fit because she’s shiny, she’s superficial, and she knows how to project herself. He likes superficial things. They’re exactly the same age.

It was just unfortunate that I gave my unconditional love to somebody like that. It’s hard getting it back, hence, my emotional bankruptcy. A PR professional friend messaged me on FB tonight and asked me how I was and if I already have a bf (after J). I said no, I need to heal and I’m not searching—that I’m done. I’m happier like this. She said it’s when I’m not searching the One comes. I said no, just the thought of it creeps me out. It’s just too painful, I told her. I don’t think I can have another one again.

Which brings me to this:

Photo from Rappler.com
https://www.rappler.com/entertainment/celebrities/photos-hyun-bin-son-ye-jin-married/

I mean, ok, they’re happy. The on-screen couple turned real-life couple. Good for them. I just hope it lasts. Excuse my jadedness.

There are people made for this, and there are people who are not. I clearly do not belong to the first group. Even if I gave my all—all my love and kindness, tried to see good in people even if they don’t deserve it—I always end up in a ditch and disrespected.

So no, friend, I’m better off like this. I need to grow and learn more about the world and the hard lessons life is teaching me. I’m not about to seek comfort and affirmation from someone else because it only leads to disaster.

Lighting candles to soothe my soul. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

I am done with the two curtain panels for the girls’ bedroom.

Photo by CallMeCreatiom.com

Now they’re up on their windows.

Photo by CallMeCreation.com

I’m just finishing a small panel and then I will be done with their room. I can now proceed to do the complicated poppy flower drawing…

Just look at my hobbies—they’re hardly the thing that sophisticated, shiny people do. I do granny things. I’m not even into grandmillennial style…just granny. My interests are contemplative things like hiking, diving, biking, home DIY, museums, daydreaming on a grassy patch of land, gardening, cooking, drawing, singing, and lots of reading. I’m not into clubbing and so over bar-hopping.

I’m boring. I could hardly be an asset to a person who wants to aspire for big things in life like being a fund manager or a fund owner. A CEO of a conglomerate. I also could never be a tai tai nor I wanted to be one.

During this period of transition inmy life I realized I just want to be like this:

Karl

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If there’s a larger than life I personality I want to be friends with, it would be Karl Lagerfeld or Rajiv Surendra.

Karl’s life is interesting—not because of money that came with his life but it doesn’t hurt, no?—but he lived beautifully and he chased intellectualism not just for the sake of it but because he was very curious. Of course he was sort of a snob and he was raised by a ruthless mother but for some reason he loved her dearly. From his stories (published in Vogue and other interviews), his mother sounds like Elton John’s mother (gleaned from the movie Rocketman).

Anyway, I remember one article in Vogue (when I was still a devoted reader) that he spoke several languages and read in French, German, and English. He loved books. He was one of the biggest bibliophiles there is. He collected books and read them all. He was interested in so many things, especially history. His library is one of my dream libraries and I could happily pass my days in there. We can talk about politics, history, philosophy, art—so many things—over tea and biscuits (he eliminated sweets from his diet).

Photo from MyModernMet.com

I also remember his love for wearing Hedi Slimane suits. There was an article in Vogue where he discussed his weariness of flying/airports post 9/11 (how strictly insane and tedious flying became right after 9/11) so he had outfitted several SUVs to be luxurious cabins so he can cross countries in Europe without having to suffer the indignities of stripping your clothes/shoes just authorities can scan you for possible deadly weapons or bombs.

I wish I have his discipline of sketching all the time. He wanted to be a cartoonist, not a fashion designer at first. He figured he could make a better living out of sketching clothes.

I could feel his frustration of wanting to play the piano but this desire to learn it was stamped out by his incorrigible mother. I figured those who leaned towards the arts sometimes find themselves drawn to other art forms as a way to express themselves.

Hmm, the two persons I mentioned above have another thing in common: they’re both gay. I’m good friends with gay men and as I told one gay man in Singapore, I am a fairy princess. I like the company of gay men because they’re interesting and they like my friendship. I had been to gay bars in Manila with K and his friends are fun to be with; we were dancing on the ledge of a bar until the wee hours (this was before I got married).

hand-stitching again. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

I’m back to sewing again as a form of procrastination. I can’t finish the poppy sketch yet since it’s complicated for my bleeding brain (I just finished an article today). I think the curtain panels will be up in the girls’ room by the end of this week.

I’m also teaching a colleague how to survive the China lockdown because he doesn’t know how to cook. His initial lockdowns were in Kuala Lumpur and he was privileged enough not to worry about supplies when he was there. I told him to grab lots of Indomee instant noodles (he’s Chinese Malaysian) and do this:

Lucky Me Pancit Canton by Monde Nissin. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

Teaching him what to buy and what to do with them. Gah! I wonder how these people survive all these years by just eating out.

Screenshot from NIkkei Asia

This zero-Covid policy of China has seen a lot of businesses wanting to flee HK. My former APAC boss is now in Manila to escape the draconian policies of HK and give her toddlers a respite from being locked up indoors.

In contrast, Singapore is now allowing people to be maskless if outdoors. My friend-colleague said it’s such a relief especially if she’s taking her walks for her daily exercise. Our new APAC head, who’s based in Seoul, said most people there have been getting Covid that it doesn’t make sense to control movement. So the rest of the world has adopted the living-with-Covid policy and is now opening up borders.

I’m raring to go to the sea.

Maricaban, Batangas. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

This photo was taken when we took the boat from Eagle Point Resort to Maricaban island. The diving was not good but the winds were violent in Sombrero island so we were taken here. Some of these boats took novice scuba divers where we were freediving.

Ahhhh, diving. I really, really missed you.