I always choose the earliest flight so I can maximize my day. In any case, I can sleep at the terminal and in the plane.
4 am at NAIA Terminal 2. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Before arriving at Changi Airport, I topped up my Starhub via app. No need to bother myself with looking for a convenience store, which I did since 2014. Then finally Starhub launched a wonky app in 2018-2019 so I could do everything online.
Then I got robbed by UOB at their money exchange kiosk in T1. Their exchange rates at the airport is nuts! PHP 11k for only SGD 239! I may have to use my credit cards more. Annoying.
Here is the worst part. My Dizo phone is not working here in Singapore. I bought this so I can use my Smart SIM so I can receive my OTPs for online banking and other transactions. And damn it, it’s not working. I didn’t check that it’s only capable of 2G, which I think Singapore has already retired.
I wasted PHP 1,300 for this thing. I’ll just give this away. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
I was forced to buy a new base model Oppo (A17 = 4GB RAM, 64GB ROM) from Challenger @Jewel because I cannot NOT have my Smart SIM dysfunctional. I will just pass this on to Twin I when I come back (since hers is only 3GB, 32GB ROM) and I will use her old phone for my travels. I just need the SMS capabilities of a phone for an OTP.
OMG, I promised that I will not spend so much here but here I am…
Still feeling under the weather so I had bak kut teh to relieve my colds. Photo by CallMeCreation.comI have yet to arrive at my hotel, I was already tired….Photo by CallMeCreation.comPark near my hotel along Penang Road. I could hear some of them speaking in Tagalog. Probably domestic workers on their day off. Photo by CallMeCreation.comI went to a ceramic exhibit at the nearby Visual Arts Centre. Photo by CallMeCreation.comMore ceramics. Photo by CallMeCreation.comThey are for sale. Some ceramics were dainty and lovely to have at home…but my cats will kill them. Photo by CallMeCreation.comNext door is a studio where they have art lessons for kids and adults. They have various courses there for different media. I talked to the manager there and it was interesting. You can have an a la carte class for SGD 45 for watercolor. Something nice to do on my weekend day off. Photo by CallMeCreation.comAt the back of the National Library. Interesting to sketch. Photo by CallMeCreation.comResting for a bit at the National Library. Not much visual interest here. Photo by CallMeCreation.comAlong Raffles Hotel. Looking for some interesting angles to sketch. Photo by CallMeCreation.comFinally found the Straits Art supplies store at North Bridge Road. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
I found Holbein, Rembrandt, Schmicke, some Russian brands, and Old Holland. I held back and reminded myself that I just spent SGD 229 on a cellphone because of my idiocy.
Second-hand bookstore. I have to keep myself from buying random stuff that would add weight to my luggage. Photo by CallMeCreation.comI wonder if I can sketch this with complete details…Photo by CallMeCreation.comWent to find a nearby Kopi Tiam because I was hankering for hawker food. I was generous with the chili oil because, again, of my colds. Photo by CallMeCreation.comFinally, my bed! I’m so tired. Photo by CallMeCreation.comNo closet and the sink is outside the bathroom. And bathroom is all glass. Good thing I’m not with someone. It would be awkward seeing your partner pooping. Photo by CallMeCreation.comBig-ass TV that won’t get used. This is a 65″ Samsung. Photo by CallMeCreation.comAh lovely. Tea to calm down my throat. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Sleepy. Big day tomorrow…Awards night in the evening. And there are only two journos. What am I going to do? How will I stretch myself. Better get some sleep.
Hot tea to relieve sore throat. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Some nasty virus hit me the other day. I was aching all over yesterday and had to sleep most of the day and the entire night starting at 7 pm. My lymph nodes behind my ears are swollen and I have sore throat.
I had been brewing tea to relieve my throat. I made myself Nongshim Bulgogi noodles, a little spicy soup that I thought could unclog some phlegm stuck somewhere in my upper respiratory tract.
Bulgogi noodles. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
It’s a terrible feeling. I haven’t tested myself for Covid. Please don’t let this be Covid because I can’t cancel my trip to Singapore. I will be leaving tomorrow at dawn. 🥴
I’m torn between sleeping the whole day today or shop for provisions for my family here. Don’t have any choice but to do both. Lemme sleep some more…
Ok so I forced myself to move and pack my stuff. As usual, my cats want to come with me.
Kimchi being obnoxious again. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
And the girls and I went to the salon for pedicure and haircuts. I can’t look drab when I’m meeting hundreds of people and doing my Ms. Universe thing.
Nail cleaning and polish. Just because. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
And I opted for a wash-and-wear haircut. Will be too busy to attend to my hair in the next 9 days. 🫠
This is our bonding day before I go. My girls are in their tweens and are now more aware of their femininity.
Waiting now for our food. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
I can’t cook. Can’t bother. Too tired. What’s the use of being surrounded by restaurants when you’re not dining out? So here we are, having something hot and spicy for dinner. Hopefully my throat will be fine tomorrow. 🥴
Swimming in chili oil. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Our water utility in home town has been poisoning us with arsenic. The Commission on Audit (COA) has already flagged this in 2020 and 2021 but the local water district has failed to fulfill its duty as a regulator. I again wrote LWUA to demand why our water district has not addressed so many issues, the biggest of all is the high arsenic content.
I suddenly got tired. I am too angry and it left me tired. I’m just too spent.
There are so many problems weighing me down.
God, help me.
Thank God for cats.
Dear daughters, this is mommy, still grace under pressure. I try to be the best I can be despite the mounting problems on my shoulders because I want to show you that it can be done. That you always have to maintain dignity at all times because at your lowest point, that is the only thing that will be left with you. Love, mommy.
Almond Blossom. Vincent van Gogh (1853 – 1890), Saint-Rémy-de-Provence, February 1890. He painted this with love for his nephew and namesake.
I was just vaguely aware of Vincent van Gogh’s life and was more familiar with his paintings.
Until tonight.
I read up on him the entire night (for some reason) and learned about his loving relationship with his younger brother, Theo. I felt his struggle with his mental health and his desperate need to paint because that was the only way to quiet his spirit and ease anxiety and depression (oh how painful it would have been without modern medicine!).
His anxiety deepened as he felt his dependence on Theo’s generosity is weighing on the future of his nephew–his namesake–and Theo’s wife.
He knew he was not getting better. He could no longer contain the pain.
Gun to his chest.
His brother died heartbroken six months after Vincent died of gunshot wounds.
Although I may never know how a bipolar felt, I could understand his need to paint and paint to draw out the pain from his body. As if painting numbs you. As if that’s the only way to silence the raging emotions within you, the pain of emptiness that envelopes you.
I wanted to cry for Vincent. It wasn’t his fault he was sick like that.
The last time I drew and painted was when I was 17.
Until I had an “episode” (as my doctor called it) in February this year—when I received J’s painting and had learned about the the truth that I didn’t want to discover—I have never produced something passable as art. It’s that pain of hollowness, that depression, that inexplicable feeling of wanting to be free from something unseen that drove my pencil and brush. Only my hands could express all of those because my keyboard suddenly became bereft of words.
This was a product of my need to draw my heart in a different way. I could not express the pain I had at that time so this came into being. I became a writer who could no longer produce words. That’s how bad it was. Art and photo by CallMeCreation.com I drew this because I had no words to give friends who asked how I was. This was my easiest answer. Art and photo by CallMeCreation.comI painted this when I was 15, inspired by Van Gogh’s cypress trees and some landscape painting of Arles. Because I was feeling his emotions through his brush strokes. It resonated with me. I must have been feeling something strong at that time when I did this. Art and photo by CallMeCreation.com
Now I understand What you tried to say to me How you suffered for your sanity And how you tried to set them free They would not listen, they did not know how Perhaps they’ll listen now
For they could not love you But still your love was true And when no hope was left in sight On that starry, starry night
This is the face of anxiety. It has been under extreme pressure the past few days. It will be moreso in the coming days.
My best reporter called me up today. She will be leaving the company by the end of the year. She has two job offers and she’s just waiting if her E-pass will be approved under her chosen company. If it all goes well, she will tender her resignation after two weeks then give one month notice.
I cannot, for the life of me, think of somebody else to replace her because she’s that good. But I knew this day would come soon because we had been talking about this for quite some time even before I got promoted.
Now it’s really, really hard to hire good journalists in Singapore because there’s a dearth of good homegrown talent there when it comes to honest-to-goodness journalism. What can you expect from a country with an authoritarian government, right?
I have a lot of problems on my plate right now. I am just compartmentalizing each problem because I will melt down if I tackle them all. One of my problems is the Bangkok coverage, which I must solve soon.
Basically, there is nobody left in Singapore. And my company is limiting my movements. I honestly do not know what they want.
Breathe in, breathe out.
Quick watercolor book mark to manage anxiety. Art abd photo by CallMeCreation.com
It aired. The excerpts of the meeting aired and of course it only showed a few points that I had raised. At least we showed the people that fighting for what is right is something that we all have to do and not just stay angry on social media. Nothing will happen if we just let social media take precedence over real action.
I’m not done yet. I’m still at the beginning.
Oh, but I’m so tired and stressed. I feel like I’m in this alone. They’re just all noise. No one from the home owners association or concerned groups bothered to show up during the meeting with the water company.
I’m in this roller coaster ride of emotions and tiredness. Good thing I’ll be abroad for 9 days to take a sort of break from all these local issues. Even for a while.
I just read an essay on NYT that got me thinking a lot. It made me read the readers’ comments to see if they agree or not and they didn’t disappoint. But I’m too sleepy and tired to elaborate on it. Will just put down my thoughts later.
