Author Archives: admin

End of an era

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Press release from the PSE.

It is an end of an era.

I remember occupying a slot at the press room at the Tektite building where the second trading floor of the Philippine Stock Exchange was located. I was one of the last batch of reporters who covered the local bourse when it had two trading floors due to some idiosyncrasies of this market. Ours is one of the oldest but it still remains small and illiquid.

I remember the beauty of being on the trading floor, or above the trading floor, when the world was shifting. The most poignant of all was when I was writing my stock exchange stories and all the counters were blinking red during the market meltdown of 2008. The brokers were on the edge of their seats and their landline phones were ringing non-stop. The energy of the trading floor was something to remember.

Now it’s all a memory. Everything is online.

The last time that I will have a photo against the trading board. Taken in 2017.

Speaking of financial institutions, I received an invite to the annual event at the central bank where all the local business’ heavy-weights will converge. I still don’t have a car by then so I booked a room at Shangri-la Hotel Jen so I will just walk to the venue and back to the hotel. The cost of my Grab from Quezon City to Manila and to Quezon City (if I manage to book a ride) would be equal to my hotel reservation. Because it will be on a Friday evening and the chance of rain is high.

Now I need to buy a new dress.

The girls and I went to the mini supermarket 200 meters away from the apartment this evening because I have no car. I had to make do with the limited choices we have there and just grin and bear it.

Just snacks and drinks. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

I just ordered and have my meat delivered at home by Monterey and as for the vegetables, the girls and I would ride our bikes to UP for that tomorrow if it doesn’t rain.

My girls got prize money from their grandma for earning an average above 90 (which was already equivalent to an honors’ grade in other schools; their school doesn’t rank kids). Twin I bought the roller skates that she has been dying to have for two years.

She has been falling on her butt all day. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

While Twin A finally bought the Royal Kludge hotswappable mechanical keyboard and Logitech Pebble mouse for her games.

Tadahhh! She finally bought it. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

Even if I can afford to buy it for them, I didn’t and resisted for as long as I can. They had to earn these. Either through doing their chores or by working on their grades.

This morning they had their diagnostic exam for their high school review and they were sad that they weren’t able to answer a lot of Math questions because they said these weren’t taught to them yet. I said it’s ok because it was just the review center’s way of knowing where to level off with their students. Eventually the review center’s teachers will show them how to solve these Math problems.

They will be starting their review classes on Monday.

Aha! The school season is starting.

I have finally transformed into a cat.

To cap the workweek, my girls have spent the evening fooling around. They taught me the sticker function of my new phone. 😂

ALL IS WELL, ALL IS WELL, as my friend taught me to say.

Do me a favor, this friend said. “Don’t let memories get you down. Be happy.”

My friends have lifted me up through all my struggles ever since I got broken.

All my drawings had been sad and lonely. But all will be well. All is well.

I’ll try to put a smile on my face everyday. Chase the cobwebs away. Have my friends chat with me online. One of these days I will fly to Europe and see a bigger world since my girls are already grown up and I can be away for two weeks. Stop first at our London HQ then jump to Edinburgh as I had always wanted to visit William Wallace’s country.

All is well, all is well.

There is always something to smile about everyday. Love myself everyday.

Random

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My Oppo earbuds case/charger. I’m into cute cat things now. Photo by CallMeCreation.com.

Here is my small cat.

And here is my big cow. I mean, cat.

Kimchi the cow. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
My ever loyal companion while I work. Sushi. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

I love my cats. They make me smile all the time.

Still in bed at 6 am. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

I got woken up at 6 am by my cats, who kept meowing outside my bedroom door. They complained that their food bowls were already empty. Then it took me a while to get back to sleep. I woke up at 8:58 am, just two minutes before my MS Teams call where I would have to present the trends in Southeast Asia.

Good thing I was already half-decent at that time.

Lasagna swimming in marinara sauce. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

I cooked lasagna for dinner on my slow cooker. I had put too much sauce and cheese. It’s a lovely gooey mess but Twin I loved it.

What if there is somewhere out there who is meant for me? Am I shutting out that person because I am very stubborn and wouldn’t open up to people? Am I right to just hide away and let anger just consume me until I become a witch cooking children deep in the forest?

But how many heartaches must I experience? How many risks do I have to take?

I don’t know why I’m suddenly thinking about this. Maybe because of my conversation with my friend the other night?

But I’m tired.

But then life is not just about finding a partner. Life is a journey and having a partner is not the destination but rather something you may pass through or just a stop. It’s not a goal; it’s just incidental.

I don’t understand myself these days. I may be transitioning or I am just hormonal.

Boycott

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https://twitter.com/guampartosa/status/1539085547846504448?t=2orc_WutBsrcDxdNhuztSQ&s=19
https://twitter.com/guampartosa/status/1539085553961799680?t=acdDUqfUmPn2ADE3cWw06w&s=19

If I only knew 😤

I would never support enablers. I’ll stop going to Pinto; there are other galleries out there.

I just learned Dr. Cuanang is also the doctor who issued the questionable medical opinions for Gremlin a.k.a. Gloria Macapagal Arroyo to escape prosecution. No wonder this doctor has a lot of money; he serves the biggest crooks in the world.

Twin I inside one of the galleries of Pinto Art Museum, the first time they went there when they were 4 years old Photo by CallMeCreation.com

I had been chatting on Telegram yesterday with a friend, who taught me the mantra, “All is well. All is well,” whenever bad thoughts about the past come to invade my head. He told me that not all men are like my exes so I shouldn’t lump together all men under one category.

Well, I told him, I will only change my opinion of men if I meet creatures of their sex that are the opposite of my exes. But as far as I’m concerned, all of them are the same (sorry friend, that includes you). He got pissed, of course, since he was cheated on by his gf who slept with his officemate. 😑

Why is that my friends and I are in this predicament? Because we’re nice? Maybe we shouldn’t play nice anymore. It’s a dog-eat-dog world anyway. The nice ones die quickly.

This friend got depressed for two months and just got out of this funk this year (the cheating happened last year) and he told me I had dwelt too long in my grief. I said this is precisely the reason why I went to a shrink so I can get out of this clinical depression alive. I was too late in consulting a professional (already 8 months after the fact) that’s why it got protracted.

And I pointed out to him that his ex-gf didn’t send him a painting to destabilize him like mine did. The friend did acknowledge that the ex-gf was not as cruel as my ex.

Hah, it’s already 10:34 pm I’m still working on an energy story. Being workaholic makes me dull. I haven’t drawn anything in weeks. This is what it is like having your ass always on the line. I have back-to-back calls tomorrow with the sales team and then in the afternoon, I need to talk to one of my people to tell him that our bid for his promotion wasn’t granted. So I needed to push him further to improve his stats so I can make another attempt by end of the year to push for his promotion.

Meanwhile, I needed to handhold the newest member of the team because of her language issues and she isn’t used to the Western-style journalism, so I need to co-write her stories until she gets the hang of it. If I don’t do it, she will be kicked out by end of the year. I keep on losing people due to language issues and/or not being able to cope with Western standard journalism.

As my former APAC editor told me, the hardest bureau to run in Southeast Asia.

I will campaign for another raise for me by end of the year because of the headaches I’m having.

And the economic crisis is sinking us deeper and deeper

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This should make dollar-earners like me happy. But no, this makes all goods more expensive because we are a net oil-importing country. Among other things that we also import are rice, durable goods, and just about everything. We even import onions and garlic from Taiwan.

WTF.

Jeepney drivers are already sleeping inside their jeeps because they could no longer afford to go home because they no longer earn anything as gas prices continue to climb.

The group of journos I am with right now are starting a movement to create news content in bite sizes for Tiktok to combat disinformation on such platforms. A friend just did a Tiktok of the horrible commuting life in Metro Manila. I took it upon myself to create a Tiktok about the impossibility of PHP20/kg rice that was the campaign promise of Marcos Jr. Another friend will be releasing tomorrow a Tiktok of the forex situation now.

Because Marcos trolls are very active on social media now, trying to paint the false picture that things are hunky dory and that they claim only detractors are saying we have a crisis. That’s what they did to that friend’s Tiktok video about the horrors of commuting in Manila; they mass-reported it as “dangerous” so her video was taken down even without the benefit of being properly reviewed by Tiktok.

A crisis of food accessibility, economic, and information. We are in deep shit.

And I and my colleagues have an important role to play.

How many times do I have to experience being fished by a fake profile on Instagram? Since I don’t look like I’m in my 40s, they think I am single and ready to mingle. When they message (even if my profile is set to private, they can still message me) I always tell them, I’m 42 and a single mother, so go away. On IG, it’s usually those claiming to be Chinese/Taiwanese or Korean living out of their home countries. On Twitter, it’s usually American servicemen and I ignore them because their kind always think Filipino women can easily be bought with dollars and promises of being flown out of the Philippines.

Oh sorry, I’m not one of those. I don’t blame those who belong to the lower economic strata for targeting AFAMs (A Foreigner Assigned in Manila) so they can get out of poverty/Philippines. However, these foreigners shouldn’t generalize that all Filipino women are into that kind of thing. It’s insulting.

Men are dirty. I’ve truly lost trust in them.

I sound so bitter. But can you blame me?

While attending an ADB financial forum in my house clothes and a four-legged officemate.

I was so busy today that I only had 30 minutes to eat lunch and have a bathroom break. I had to write a story, edit, do admin work, and attend conferences/webinars. On top of that I had calls in between and trying to have my internet connection fixed. I finally succumbed and contacted the corp comm team of my ISP and asked them to expedite my internet repairs. After a few hours, my connection was fixed 🙄. I really don’t want to use my connections for such things but Internet is very critical to my job.

Oh, and those white earbuds that I’m wearing in that photo are my new Oppo earbuds that I was able to buy on sale. I didn’t realize how freeing such thing could be. I was talking somebody on my phone, that was just on my phone stand on my desk, while I was walking around in my room. Good for driving as well. I don’t know why I resisted buying this for so long. Ah, because I’m an audiophile and I always thought their bass is pale at best compared to the sound of my over-the-ear Audiotechnica bluetooth headphones. Well, the earbuds are just ok for exercising and for phonecalls but for listening to music, nothing beats the over-the-ear ones and of course, speakers with a subwoofer.

Today is much better. I finally reconciled that yeah, a double-digit raise is not so bad even if I didn’t get the pay level I wanted. As for my people, I will just have to ask for concessions for transportation allowances for them given the high cost of transportation and generally everything else.

Let’s see.

Oh hello, Monday

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Back to work.

With no fixed broadband Internet.

WTF!

And I had a lot of VOIP calls today. I couldn’t respond to a week’s worth of emails because I am just using my mobile phone as a hotspot.

And the promotions I asked for my people weren’t granted and salary increases for them and mine were minuscule.

My second-worst performer still has a higher salary than me.

Now this. 😤

And yet they still limit our access, we legit journos who have code of ethics and strict guidelines to follow before we publish anything.

I’m super pissed.

Oh hello, Monday. You haven’t changed.

Car-lessness and lack of delicadeza

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Inside a taxi on the way home. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

I left my car at the auto shop. I am car-less for a month and I pray that I won’t have any event in Makati that I need to go to because OMG it’s so hard to book Grab today and all days. 😭

Rainy Sunday. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

I feel forlorn. I’m immobile. First time I am car-less in Metro Manila since 2009. I hope I will have it back before July 22. 😭😭😭

Meanwhile, the girls are having dinner with their dad and paternal aunts and uncles tonight. All is supposed to be well but suddenly Twin A sent me this screenshot (from I don’t know whose phone). It’s an FB post of their dad that says “Happy Fathers’ Day, regular customers!”

I don’t care if he has a harem or he takes out prostitutes regularly but he forgets he has children who can see his social media posts and they’re all girls 🤬 No delicadeza at all!

Now I don’t know how I would do damage control but I have to talk to my children about female dignity and we are more than sex objects. This is all upsetting.

You see, they have developed abhorrence towards the male sex because of what their dad did/is doing and what Tito J did/is doing. They no longer call J as Tito J but they call him by a codename or sometimes he goes nameless when they happen to remember him/or an incident with him in it. That’s how they hate him now. It doesn’t help that they saw and keep seeing J’s gf online who they think is a slut or not different from the women in the above screenshot. They adored him before. They looked up to him. Twin I was even copying his habits like tea drinking and she came to like vegetables. Now she dropped the tea drinking after she discovered about his gf. I could only feel pity towards my girl whose only male role model became eroded.

And now they’re seeing their dad’s perversion.

They told me once when they slept in their dad’s house that they used his laptop and saw a lot of “photos of women” (oh dear lord, I hope is not porn) in the hard drive or somewhere in his computer.

This is what I’m afraid of. Without a proper male role model, they may have a distorted view of the opposite sex and may get into wrong/troubled relationships in the future. I grew up seeing my mother’s co-dependence so that’s what I learned from her, hence, I inherited the same behavioral defect, which my first shrink told me.

I am afraid that my girls would only see their value if they’re all “sexed up” because that’s how the men in their lives see women: as sex objects. If the women that the the girls’ father figures keep always show their boobs, are preoccupied with their looks, and are scantily clad in public, they would think that is the beauty standard. Since I don’t do those, they would think that must be the reason why I always get cheated on. Even though they know it’s not, at the back of their minds it could be one of those things. Right now, both of them feel they’re ugly and have very low self-esteem. Despite my best efforts to lift up their self-esteem and their morale, if they don’t have a male authoritative figure who can say that they’re beautiful and smart, they would forever have these chips on their shoulders. How do I know? Because I grew up like that. I always thought myself ugly and unworthy of anything because my father is a narcissistic idiot.

Now I’m treading treacherous waters. How do I navigate this difficult narrative? My closest male friend is gay. They’re all gay! So who to talk to about this? I need to ask my brother to help correct this distortion.

They’re adolescents now. How do I talk to them about healthy self-image when I struggle with it myself?😥