Made bento brunch today because I wanted to make soybean paste soup with mushrooms and tofu. It goes well with rice balls, salted spinach with sesame oil, and chicken drummets.
Got the text message from the girls’ school that we could claim their school text books so we hopped into the car and off we went. Along with the books came the list of school supplies that we needed to buy.
Paying for our purchases. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Then we went to the farthest SM we can go to: SM Mall of Asia in Pasay. Why the heck did we go there? Because this will be the last day we will have the car at our disposal because tomorrow I will bring this to the car shop for major body repairs and other mechanical repairs. I will have the radiator replaced with the bigger and thicker one, too.
Anyway, the girls and I bought new school bags and shoes that would go with their new school uniforms. They would be starting classes on the 11th of July and I guess I still don’t have the car by then.
All that shopping called for calories. The nearest restaurant with the shortest queue was Genki Sushi.
Cheese koroke (croquet) and salmon teriyaki rice bowl. Photo by CallMeCreation.comLemon honey soda. Photo by Twin A.Wait staff don’t serve the food. The food comes via a miniature Shinkansen. Video by CallMeCreation.comBusy tucking in food. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Since we had to maximize the diesel I wasted on this trip, I picked up a drawer, a saucepan (because the old one is already leaking), and some kitchen sink organizers from Ikea.
Good luck to me building this thing. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Ah, retail therapy. I have a love-hate relationship with you.
The only thing I did was to clean the exhaust fan in the bathroom and cook dinner. Otherwise I was horizontal the whole day because I needed to enter the zen mode after last night’s trigger episode. I don’t want to take my anti-anxiety/tranquilizer as my shrink told me to do when such event arises because I want to completely be off it. I want to be better soon. I want meds off me. I only have been taking escitalopram (antidepressant) since April and my goal is to stop it by August, according to my shrink’s timetable.
It’s enough that he destroyed me and my mental health. I don’t intend to prolong it. I had given him too much power over me. He doesn’t deserve me and this power. Sending me that painting was an attempt to regain that power but I didn’t let him. Even my shrink was flabbergasted with that action but she didn’t offer any explanation. She was probably waiting for how I would act on it. Being a person with full mental faculties still intact despite nearly going insane, I had the will power to shut him out by ending it with “thanks, got it” as I still had my self-respect with me. If I didn’t, I would have started a conversation and that would open Pandora’s box. But I didn’t because I loved myself more at that moment. It was a painful fall, though, but I bounced back with the help of friends. But it was hard.
He must be messing up other people now.
Not me. No longer me.
But I have to admit I’m still struggling with anger and a whole gamut of other inexplicable emotions.
I was able to overcome yesterday’s anxiety attack without the tranquilizer though, which is already a feat. I just need more will power to continue fighting this. I need to be stronger to be healthier.
As my colleague-friend said, I need a distraction. She asked, do you have Bumble? I said no and people there are worse scammers. I would rather hang myself. She conceded and said, yeah, I guess you’re right.
So I guess I need to have my house built soon so I can be distracted. I don’t need to date to distract me. That’s suicide.
Brunch. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
My brunch is comprised of side dishes. 🤣 Well, it’s better this way.
Meanwhile, I found that consumer companies have started adjusting their packaging in response to the current high prices. Cream is not necessarily a staple in Pinoy pantries; a smaller package would make it affordable so buyers won’t have to skip it when doing their food shopping. During times like this, consumers stick to basics.
Photo by CallMeCreation.com
This has been my question to companies in the past few weeks: how are you adjusting your services and your products as people continue to tighten their belts? They have done this in 2008. Some companies survived but some didn’t. As for Monde Nissin, they told me they’re not reducing their packaging/weight but they’re adding “pairs” so that consumers would feel more value for money compared to competition, which have shrunk the sizes or weight. I remember in 2008, I had to ask Jollibee, the bellwether for Filipino consumption, how they would twist and turn as prices of rice and oil skyrocketed. If I remember it correctly, the CEO’s response was they would have smaller rice portion (Jollibee is the largest private sector rice importer in the country). I remember showing in my article the gross and profit margins of that company and computing the differences for several quarters to illustrate how inflation compresses them.
It’s tricky. If your products and services are discretionary, you would have to do gymnastics to be able to ride this crisis. As I have learned during several economic cycles, when you’re not part of the “basics” basket, you should increase marketing spend while sticking to producing your core products and innovations have to take the backseat. This is something that Microsoft and Apple did during the Global Financial Crisis of 2008-2009. This is what I learned, too, in my classes at the Asian Institute of Management.
Let’s see how other sectors would respond. I have yet to receive their email responses to my questions.
My sister and I are supposed to be on a diet. We have to keep ourselves healthy since we’re already in our 40s and everything goes downhill from here.
I have one high school classmate who lived in the UK and was about to be promoted to be CEO of his company. He just dropped dead in his bathroom a few weeks ago but we only learned about it this week. He was diabetic so his health was constantly monitored but they were baffled why he suddenly dropped dead like that. Later on it was revealed that he has fatty liver disease that went undetected, which was odd.
In any case, I don’t want to just drop dead like that; I have two humans and two cats depending on me. So I have to start cleaning my act together. No more late nights so I have to have enough sleep and wake up early to bike. If not cycling, I should walk early in the morning. I’m supposed to go to a cardiologist for a check-up post-Covid during my leave (which I only have tomorrow left). I should also have this osteoma removed. Oh well, only half of the things I’m supposed to do were accomplished.
I should find time for my health.
Speaking of high school friends, my bestfriend, T, bought tickets to the Red Velvet concert that she and my girls will be watching on 22 July. I would be their chauffeur.
Red Velvet concert tickets. Photo by CallMeCreation.comThe foundation that will be the recipient of the concert proceeds. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
I claimed the tickets this afternoon from this office, a foundation that supports persons with disabilities (PWDs), which is the recipient of the proceeds of this Kpop concert. So this means I have to bring my car on Saturday to the car shop for the repairs so that I can claim my car before the concert.
Then I booked my plane tickets and hotel reservation for my trip to Singapore. I would finally be back there after more than two years. I haven’t seen our new office at Raffles Place and I doubt if I have a desk there but I should. So many things to arrange and so many people and clients to meet. 😑 Unfortunately, the conference I was supposed to attend in Bangkok coincides with our own conferences in Singapore so I have to skip Bangkok.
I had a weird dream last night.
I was being pursued by a creepy guy who thought I liked him because I was just being generally nice to all people. Because when you’re networking, you need to put on your nicest smile and charm the socks off people. However, this creep took it differently. Then I spent rest of my dream running away from this guy, which involved me slipping through doors and flying (literally) through windows.
Perhaps this is a warning to dial down on the charm offensive during my networking chore in Singapore.
I remember being pursued by this Chinese guy who attended a conference in Makati where I had to interview several shipping execs and government officials. I had left him in Manila Peninsula after I had coffee with him at the hotel lobby, because you know, he was BD of a big Chinese SOE and I thought it was worth having that kind of contact. I went to a lunch press briefing in another hotel. After that event, I was supposed to fetch my car and passed through the underground pedestrian crossing and encountered that Chinese guy in that unlikely place. And he stuck to me like glue the entire time. I asked my journo friend, L, to fetch me but she said she already left CBD.
Long story short, networking is hazardous for journos like me who need to dig a lot of info from people who may misinterpret my friendliness. 😶
And I met J through this kind of networking and it just so happened I was very vulnerable at that time. This should serve as a big warning to me. People who I meet in these circumstances do not have the most noble intentions in mind. I have more respect for people who lay their cards right there and then: I use your info, you use my info. We do horse-trading and I don’t have to go through shit, like you pretending to like me to extract what you need from me. That’s just so low.
He just used me so he can move here in Manila with minimal difficulties, because as he had repeatedly said, it has been his intention to move here and see how it would work out given that the cost of living is much lower than in Singapore.
I’m soooooo gullible.
Bawal maging marupok. Wag ka nang maging tanga, OK?
I cannot afford to be stupid anymore.
What the fuck. I got triggered. After a long, long time.
I cannot sleep. I’m having palpitations and I’m very angry. My eyes are filling up with tears of anger as the feelings I’m keeping buried are trying to get out.
I need to schedule my session with my shrink ASAP because I need new prescription for escitalopram.
Oh God, when does this end? It’s exactly 1.5 years tomorrow and yet I’m still like this.
If this is what loving deeply costs, I don’t want to encounter it ever. Ever.
Driving around the campus at around 9 pm. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
My girls and I drove around the campus last night, the first time in years. Well, they said this former gym of ours is very haunted and my father said the Japanese soldiers during WW2 used this area as their HQ and the entire Baker Field as POW concentration camp. Some people claim that they heard marching of soldiers coming from inside the hall in the dead of the night or saw shadows from the balcony above. Shining piercing eyes looking out from the huge windows. Thankfully, I haven’t nor I want to see/hear/experience such things. Before the Copeland Gym was constructed, this was where we played badminton, volleyball, table tennis, basketball, etc and we had the shower rooms here. As a former football varsity player, I was almost a resident here, playing for the university since high school.
Today, Twin I asked how I did my notes when I was still studying—basically, how to take down notes for studying. So I unearthed my notebooks from my boxes of memories to show them that I was a diligent note-taker during my student days, a skill that is very useful in my job up to this day.
My steno notebook that I used for ALL my courses 😂. These were my notes in Great Political Theories.Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Even I am surprised to see that my notes were really neat back then. It’s just people who borrowed my notes were confused that these were chronologically arranged and not divided according to course 😂😂😂😂😂. So if they photocopied this, they would inadvertently copied my Chemistry notes or Microbio notes for that particular day.
My General Chemistry notes. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Statistics. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
However, I doubt if I was able to encourage my kids to be good with their note-taking because they keep on saying their handwriting is terrible. So I had to show them all my journals that I wrote and kept since 1990 (when I was their age now) so they can see I also had ugly handwriting when I was much younger.
Some of the notebooks that started my writing career. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Twin I tried to read one entry from high school, which was just an account of what happened that day, which is similar to what I’m doing right now—only that this is more high-tech. 😂 Keeping and writing on my journals everyday since I was 10-11 years old led me into the writer I am now. Some of the notebooks here are not necessarily just journals; some here are notebooks for my essays that I eventually transfered on Word doc and submitted to the national newspaper I was writing for when I was still in college. Yep, I was already writing for PDI even when I was still an undergrad because I wanted a headstart.
This brings me to the conundrum of whether it was wise of me to be limiting myself to this narrow path of being a very specialized journalist. Or just be a journalist. Some ex-colleagues have jumped into other professions; they have become lawyers, communication strategists, owners of their PR firms, or completely jumped into entrepreneurship.
But then because I didn’t go back to school so I can pivot, it would mean I would be starting from the bottom of the ladder. That is always the case: it doesn’t matter if you were an experienced journalist or an MD or a pop artist—if it’s not your expertise, like fund management, investment banking, or techpreneurship, you would have to start at the bottom of the ladder as an associate and work your way up. My extensive career as a journalist holds little value in a different field and I understand that. So my recourse then was to take CFA exams just like what my colleague is now doing. However, I simply cannot afford to be an associate at this stage because my kids are growing up. CFA certifications or MBA would allow me to shift as a mid-career professional. Even my friend who is a CPA-lawyer with an MBA and niche expertise in tech is still not partner in her firm. She needs to be as seasoned as her seniors in her firm and build a name. She still needs to earn her stripes.
So my dilemma is I have already earned some stripes in this field, more stripes than some of my peers have. I still like what I’m doing but sometimes I cannot help thinking if I’m limiting myself.
On the flipside, would I still want to slave away when my life is already “settling”? I’m soon building my home, taking life more slower compared to a decade ago, and I just want to plan my trips and building the life I want during the weekends. I realized that even if my children can already fend for themselves, they still need guidance especially they’re now entering adolescence—that age that has so many pitfalls that can scar a person for life. I felt this tug today when they told me their friend, who had everything, is still complaining about “life”. Twin A said, “we don’t understand why she’s being like that. She has all the material things she can ask for: she has a cellphone while we don’t have one but that’s ok. She has pets and her parents pay attention to her. She has a father and a mother, while we don’t really have a dad. Yes we have Daddy but…”
I don’t know the answer. I wish I have the wisdom to navigate this treacherous waters. Being a solo parent doesn’t help at all in answering my career questions.
We slept in the room that will soon be included in our unit. My bed is small (twin) so the girls had to sleep on the floor. I don’t want to clean the usual room where we sleep in the main house. I wanted to get the feel of the size of this room and the overall atmosphere since this would be my forever room from now on.
Anyway, so I got to talk to this new contractor whom I went to high school with but he is one year ahead of me.
The portal to the other dimension. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
The contractor did an ocular and we discussed the layout, the materials, the logistics, etc.
The east wing. Photo by CallMeCreation.comThe western wing. Photo by CallMeCreation.comThe northern phase. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
My contractor said the total size is ~50 sqm, which is the typical size of a two-bedroom condo in Manila. The bedroom we’re sleeping in now will add 10 sqm and will be my future bedroom/office. I reconciled to have it both inside this room and my closet will just be outside. The girls will have the bigger room.
I will no longer have vaulted ceilings as my contractor said dropped ceilings would make the house cooler since vaulted ceilings would just let hot air be confined at the top and have no way to escape if I don’t put exhaust fans there. I don’t want fans up there; they’re hard to clean. So dropped ceiling it is. He’s just going to give me big awning-type windows that is almost floor-to-ceiling that would be ideal for airconditioned rooms. While I intend to have natural air to circulate within the unit, it doesn’t hurt to design it as a fully airconditioned home. It’s better to be flexible. I initially plan to have only the bedrooms airconditioned since I have fresh mountain air outside my home to flow within my TV area and kitchen to keep it cool. But climate change—-you’ll never know.
I have a forest in my backyard. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
The forest in my backyard would become my vegetable garden and whatever I want to do with it (a separate office and art studio perhaps in the future?). On the ground level would be a porch and laundry/utility area. I asked my contractor if he can put high quality polycarbonate roofing there. The kitchen will have granite countertops and drawers under it. The upper cabinets will be covered since Filipino/Asian cuisine is high on oil content, thus, could make stuff greasy if I have open shelving. The floors will remain the same except for the bathroom, of course. I told the contractor I want provision for mounting a heavy chandelier, if I fancy it, but likely it will just be big pendant lights.
He told me the fastest construction period will be 3 months. Soooo I have the option to start construction now that I can lock in the prices of materials since the economy will turn for the worse in the coming months. If I start construction next month, by December I will have a rest house and don’t have to bunk with my mom. I can bring stuff bit by bit until we move in totally by May 2023.
Earlier this evening, my girls and I had dinner and milk tea with the daughter of one of my bffs. The girls had a nice time with her.
Pizza at Auntie Pearl’s. Photo by CallMeCreation.comChoosing milktea flavors. Photo by CallMeCreation.comPhoto by CallMeCreation.com
I didn’t want to cramp the kids’ style so I stayed away while they gossiped the night away…until one clumsy kid of mine spilled her milk tea and made everyone sticky.
We’re running out of clothes. We need to go home to QC tomorrow.
Breakfast by the balcony. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Well, surprisingly I was able to sleep before 12 midnight last night then that meant I was already awake at around 5:30 am. By 6 am I gave up and made breakfast for all of us. My sisters and my mom had to leave at 9 am due to prior commitments today. My girls and I had a more leisurely breakfast and allowed us to clean the entire place before checking out.
This gave me the chance to walk around the lagoon to fetch my car from the country club.
The pathway behind our condo unit. Photo by CallMeCreation.comFlowers that I will copy. Photo by CallMeCreation.comThis way to the beach. Photo by CallMeCreation.comThis way to the country club. Photo by CallMeCreation.comLovely lotus that I will also copy. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
We left the resort at 11 am and I showed the girls the reason the place was called Pico de Loro.
The protruding stone formation looks like the beak of a parrot from another angle. I saw the likeness last Saturday when we were approaching the resort. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
This was a popular hiking destination before it was overrun by amateur hikers that disturbed the flora and fauna of the area. The DENR closed the area permanently since the pandemic began.
Meanwhile, we encountered the monkeys of the mountain pass of Nasugbu and Ternate again. This time, I was ready with my digicam next to me.
A family of monkeys. I stopped by the road to take a picture, Photo by CallMeCreation.comThe inventor of the buko pie, hence, the name The Original. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
They ran out of buko pies at 2 pm. Oh well.
Blueberry cheesecake. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
When we arrived in my hometown, we ate in a resto-bar owned by a high school-mate. After college he took up culinary arts at CCA and decided to open restaurants in our town. Here is Twin I enjoying the blueberry cheesecake pie.
My favorite chocolate chip cookies. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Then I dropped by the confectionery that I had been going to for 25 years. This has been my comfort food since my high school days. Love, love, love it. Bought 400g of this to bring home.
My undergrad college. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Its facade hasn’t changed much since 20+ years ago. We used to sit on the plant boxes or the steps and just hang out in between classes or just people watch.
I waited for my best friend, T, to finish work so we can have dinner together.
Sitting under the kalachuchi tree where we used to hang out.
We were planning our next dinner/lunch probably this weekend but we’ll do it out of town. T then drove me home and I called the girls to talk to Tita T because we were planning to bring the girls to a K-Pop concert in July and August. She and the girls chatted about so many things and we planned to go to S. Korea with the girls. In theory.
So tomorrow I’ll be talking to another contractor for another quote for my apartment. It’s better to shop around. I will decide later if we drive back to QC tomorrow or stay here for another day.
Meanwhile, Ate C said the cats miss me so much that they always slept on my empty bed. I told her not to wash my bed covers so that they can sleep with my smell.
Kimchi waiting for me outside my bedroom door. Photo sent by Ate C.
