I’ve been pushing back finishing that Sombrero island painting. I’m having a problem with how sunlight strikes violent waves. I am almost getting it with the waves near the boat but the farther the waves are from the boat/from my perspective, the more trouble I have with sunlight reflection/refraction.

You see, painting is like solving a problem; you always get troubled by how light falls on the subject and the perspective—how the lines meet, especially in urban sketching. Rooftops are difficult, especially if the structures have different angles. That’s why painting/drawing is a good way to keep myself occupied because I don’t have to think about things that are troubling me.

I made a mistake here. I should have left the pencil outline and shouldn’t have used the UniPin liner for the finishing touches.

I’m a bit unhappy with how this turned out. I’ll try to see if this will grow on me.

Ok this is better.

While I wait if the above watercolor painting will be something that I will like later on, I made a sketch of nemophilas or “baby blue eyes”. This is how I saw them/photographed them in May 2017 in Hitachi Kaihin Koen in Ibaraki Prefecture (see photo I used for this blog’s header). I used the darkest pencil I have in my arsenal and would see if I can leave it as is without layering it with a UniPin liner.

Today was a bit rough at work as I was editing non-stop. That problem journo from India was displaying her attitude problem so I had to shoot her down in our email thread. Her ex-officemate in Mumbai (he already left the company) and I were chatting this morning and he told me this journo, R, is exuding “India newsroom vibes” where everyone thinks he/she is the star reporter so they all display similar arrogance. He said, R does not fit in my company because of her attitude problem; our company, M, is not like the usual Indian newsroom. When I showed him how she replies to my emails, he said: Oh wow, how can you have the guts to speak to an editor like that?

“She thinks she’s a goddess. Her BC does not like her and she doesn’t like her BC,” he said. That’s how I ended up editing her. The problem is she doesn’t like to be edited. Her BC keeps rejecting her copies because they are not up to par—still India newsroom-y, this ex-colleague said. So her draft with me reached a fifth iteration and yet she demanded that this should be published right away. I told her firmly that the publication of this article will depend on how polished this is. “As I told you, editing analysis pieces do not take just a day,” I scolded her.

I told my ex-colleague, “And you know how thorough I am with my edits.” Yup, he agreed because I was the one who trained him.

I told my manager in Seoul about this problem journo and she was backing me up in that email thread.

Shooting down biaaaaatches is really tiring. On a Friday. 😣

Meanwhile, my manager finally approved my leave and two weeks from now I will be toasting under the sun. First I will be Pico de Loro then I will be with my bffs in Caliraya. Either we will get the glamping tents or the boathouse. I have yet to book the accommodations. Will have to talk to them tomorrow regarding the schedule.

The past few days I was feeling like shit because of the bad news left and right. I suddenly wanted to have someone hug me and assure me that everything will be all right. I wanted somehow to have a safe place and feel protected when I sleep. That’s all I wanted; I’m a simple person. I never demanded anything else.

But then you know it seems like such things are not for me. Maybe I was made to be this way—independent and strong-willed—because in the end I will always be alone. So I need to toughen up more, especially during the times I feel weak and vulnerable.

No, I shouldn’t let myself be a wilting flower like that because that leads to mistakes. Major mistakes. I just have to be kinder to myself and learn to hug myself to sleep. I don’t want to get hurt like that again. I’ve come soooooooo far from where I’ve been 1.5 years ago.

It’s kinda shitty that it is taking me a long time to completely recover while nobody gives a flying fuck about me. Not him anyway.

Awwww jeez. I must be very tired to be holding a pity party like this on a Friday night.

I just need to rest. Tomorrow will be better.