Sunday, rainy Sunday

Can’t resist. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

The three of us are sneezing because of allergies. Here is the culprit. I should know better than to bring a huge flowering plant indoors but I couldn’t resist buying this pretty thing again. The violet one was a gift to my mom but she killed it by negligence. *sigh*

I was high on antihistamines again so I slept for 3 hours, I think.

We didn’t have anything on the agenda today but I suddenly had the urge to look for candlesticks. Because why not?

We went to a Japanese surplus shop along Kamuning Road and found a lot of knick knacks and expensive dishware there (Givenchy anyone?). The girls and I went for the vinatage cameras.

Vintage video camera. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

I would have loved to investigate the old film cameras there but it’s too time-consuming because they were too many.

Film cameras. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

A little more browsing and we were done. We were sneezing despite the double mask because it was a bit dusty in there.

Then we went to the antique shop next door. Kamuning Road was dotted with second-hand shops a few years ago but now it dwindled to a handful of them in this spot near EDSA. One shopkeeper said he was helping one store close down because of the pandemic so he was selling items at 50% discount. I loved the mini crystal chandelier there and some pendant lights (both not pictured) but I literally still don’t have a ceiling to put it. The girls asked me where would I put it? I said in the bathroom. “What?!” they exclaimed. I said I wanted to try the industrial bohemian style, if it makes sense, for our flat that is yet to be constructed.

The front of an antique store in Kamuning. Photo by

I ended up not getting anything.

Then I searched for wooden crates (to elevate my pots/plants) along Commonwealth Ave but I couldn’t find any. I don’t know why I keep chasing something so trivial. It’s probably the feeling of being locked up…

I just ended the day singing my lungs out.

Ah red days. How I hate thee.

As Still As a Photograph – Cacai Velsquez

I used to say that I’d readily swim
The seven seas for you
Now, I can’t reach the shore
I used to say that only I held the key to your heart
Now, I can’t find the door


Slowly fading like a painting on your wall
Yet as clear as the sound of your laugh
Forever captured in my mind you’ll remain
As still as a photograph


My shoes are now worn from walking too far
Still farther I go,
My hands are so tired from hiding the scar
Still I refuse to show
And though I know that it’s wrong,
You’re still my concern
Like a thorn in my side,
It’s hard to be strong
When you’ve nowhere to turn
When you’ve nowhere to hide


Slowly fading like a painting on your wall
Yet as clear as the sound of your laugh
Forever captured in my mind you’ll remain
As still as a photograph
As still as a photograph

And though the wound burns, it’s mine to keep
To hold in my arms,
And to sing me to sleep,
For it’s all that I have,
I now realize,
The memory lives when reality dies
When reality dies

Slowly fading like a painting on your wall
Yet as clear as the sound of your laugh
Forever captured in my mind you’ll remain
As still as a photograph

Slowly fading like a painting on your wall
Yet as clear as the sound of your laugh
Forever captured in my mind you’ll remain
As still as a photograph
As still as a photograph
As still as a photograph
As still as a photograph

On the second day

This year’s theme is self-love.

Last year was just brutal and I couldn’t define what it was but it was an uphill battle. Thank God for supportive friends, some of whom had to literally drag me out of the house to join the living.

So as part of this year’s theme, I’m celebrating the things that made me who I am.

My gallery wall. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
My photos and my watercolors. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
When I was in high school I experimented with a Chinese paint brush. My control was dismal but at least I tried. Photo and art by CallMeCreation.com

I ran out of picture frames so I guess I would have to order online from Ikea.ph instead of going there again. I have a lot of photos I can print and hang. Or I can paint again with watercolors. But I’m super rusty. It has been 25 years since I have picked up a watercolor brush. I’m not good but at least I’m enjoying it. I’m not even aiming to have an exhibit like my sister but this is just something for my own home. Some of the better watercolors I did in high school were given away to classmates.

I’ll take photography seriously again, just like when I was in college. I didnā€™t invest in DSLRs because I know how time-consuming photography is as a hobby to justify the expensive equipment. And time is something I didn’t have for decades. For now I’ll use what I have–my cellphone and my Fujifilm XQ1–until I can say that I can now commit time before I step up and buy myself a mirrorless Fujifilm, which I find to be the best when it comes to low-light photography. I’ve worked with Canons, I had a Nikon, and two Olympus cameras but I find Fuji to be the best when it comes to color rendering and low light scenes. I have yet to try a Lumix. I’ve read about Hasselblads when I was still fooling around with films because those are the go-to cameras for medium formats–for book covers and posters. But those things are out of reach of the general public, especially now in digital. I’ve only seen a Hasselblad in a studio for portrait photography.

I lost all my Lomography cameras šŸ˜” I had a Holga and I still had a black abd white film stuck in there when I left it in the old house. All that is left of my Lomo stuff is the 135 film converter. šŸ˜•

Rose tea to stave off colds. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

I’ve been imbibing copious amounts of tea as I’ve been feeling under the weather. I might have contracted the girls’ colds so I took 500 mg of vitamin C, Neozep every 8 hrs, and a lot of bed rest. I slept early last night and slept some more after lunch. So far it has worked but I’m refraining from going out because this may turn out to be the dreaded omicron variant. It can’t hurt to be paranoid; look at what happened last year when I thought what the girls had was just an ordinary flu turned out to be Covid that knocked me down.

There is this Gwyneth Chua from US who broke her quarantine stay to party in Poblacion, Makati. She was positive for Covid and has infected 15 people whom she had dinner with or partied with. Stupid, stupid privileged asshole. And Twitter has the receipts. As it turns out, she studies at De La Salle University and Lasallians are now disowning her.

https://manilastandard.net/news/314026121/woman-cuts-quarantine-to-party-15-test-positive.html

Now, we’re back to a higher restriction due to tripling of cases in the last three days. Another lockdown to stem another Covid wave is not far behind. šŸ˜©

Back to singing live–online for now

This was our livestream set-up last night. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

So we had our livestream last night that lasted 2.5 hrs. People were telling us this was our most enjoyable episode to date, with jamming sessions in between questions during our in-person and Zoom interviews. One of the interviewees was live from Texas. I had an amazing guitarist, while one of the co-hosts played the keyboard and I was singing and manning the Zoom meeting that was livestreamed as well. Other co-hosts also provided backing vocals or main vocals as needed. I played the tambourine-like percussion instrument in one song. Everything was spontaneous–and that was the most fun part.

The “studio”, which was a porch/wood workshop of one of our high school classmates/co-hosts, was messy but it didn’t show much in the livestream, but we gotta do something about it soon.

We had so much fun that I left the studio at 12:30 am and got home in Qc at around 1:45 am. I had black brewed coffee to keep me alert on the road and maintained my speed at 80kmph, except when overtaking.

Before the livestream, I visited my mom and brought her purple flowers, drilled some stuff in the upstairs bathroom of the main house and added a new shower head. Then visited one of high school friends who was back in the country and gave her more of my hand-made masks and some for her kids.

One of things that I needed to do during this visit was to get my old watercolors/pencil/charcoal drawings to hang in my room.

I resisted the urge to fill this gallery wall because I need some white space to let the room breathe. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
“Mommy, your drawing is nice but King Charles II is ugly,” Twin A said. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
My hand-sewn curtains provided a nice contrast to the modern black frames of the pictures. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
This watercolor painting is a reminder. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

As I wrote on an Instagram post:

I used to paint and draw in high school. I found these in my room in xxx (hometown) and framed them to grace my room here in QC to remind me of who I was before I lost myself in ugliness and sadness. I have found that girl again, even though she’s xx heavier now, she’s still the same old creative person, richer in experiences. (By the pond, watercolor, CallMeCreation 1994).

I was 18 years old here against the ruins of the Old Chemistry building that was gutted by fire when I was in elementary school. I always lugged my film SLR camera around campus during this time after I took photography for one semester. I processed and printed this b&w photo in our college’s darkroom. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

I found this girl. The girl who balanced football, theater, school, her Greek-letter organization, and social life. She is her own person. Her heart was yet to be broken and become jaded in this photo.

Creativity

Ever since I was a child, my hands were always busy doing something creative. I was a sickly child (darn you, asthma!) so there were long stretches of days being confined in our house and I had to find ways of amusing myself. I created villages out of cardboard and paper. I made paper dolls. I made notepads out of my parents’ scratch white papers. I picked out clean white pages of old notebooks and sewed the spines together to create new notebooks. I made watercolor paintings; they were not good but it helped me express myself. I remember when I was in 5th Grade that I was crocheting non-stop and was making crocheted pen holders that you can wear around your neck like a necklace. In those days, we often lost our pens and it’s annoying if we lose that one pen that writes perfectly. I sold those to my classmates and it did offset the cost of yarn.

In high school, I continued to draw but I concentrated on pencils. I copied the paintings from our art encyclopedia at home and I remember my favorite artist then was Rembrandt. Then I moved on to album cover art and my first one was the art on Guns N’ Roses’ album Use Your Illusion because it was one of the albums I and my guy friends were listening to back in 1993 (yes, I was one of the boys and that’s how I ended up forming a band right out of college with my high school classmates, but that’s for another blog entry).

One summer, my cousin who was taking up Fine Arts at UST taught me how to use graphite pencils properly, like how to shave the graphite to produce the powder to paint and blend the different grades. Later, I somehow lost interest in it so I concentrated on watercolors. I was happy with it even though I’m not good at it. I was always envious of people who were brilliant in drawing and painting. I remember I became friends with one boy (our common friend was a classmate) over art when I was 15 years old and was in Cebu competing in a national science contest for my research on fungi. He was really good at it but he didn’t pursue a career in the arts and instead ended up as a lawyer (yes, we’re still friends).

I was also into photography. In high school, I didn’t know the technical aspects of photography but I was always with a camera back then. I had so many photos of high school scenes that ended up in our year book. In college, I took up photography because I thought I wanted to be a photojournalist. Those were the days when we still used film so we were taught how to process our films and develop our photos in different formats. We used black and white films then (my favorite brand was Agfa) so we could concentrate on composition and exposure. I had to be judicious with the use of one film roll because black and white films were hard to purchase and chemicals for dark room processing weren’t cheap. So I had to remember which aperture and shutter speed to use under certain light conditions–I had to memorize all those combinations because light is tricky and it shifts. I could not rely on guesswork because I only had 24 shots or 36 shots at most.

I remember for action photography, I had to use my dog Kuting as my subject because I didn’t want to hang on trees to capture speeding cars. I wanted to have my own dark room then because I was so enamored of the entire process. My mom bought a Canon EOS Rebel II with 35-80 mm lens and 80-200mm lens because she knew I would be taking up photography. I went everywhere with that camera. Because of my keen interest in photography, my geologist uncle gave me his Nikon FM2 which he used in Antartica. That manual SLR is built like a tank and since it’s all manual, it does not have electronics that could freeze and malfunction. I also owned a Holga lomo camera just because. All of these babies were left in our old house and I wasn’t able to come back for them right after we moved to this apartment because the priority then was to remove ourselves from there as soon as possible. When I was able to sneak back into that house, all my cameras were gone. I think the girls’ dad took them with him to display in their museum of a house in their province (they’re hoarders).

When I became a field reporter, I always had a digital camera in my bag because you’ll never know what could happen. Which proved to be very true in my career. One of my incidental photos ended up on the front page of the newspaper I used to work for before. It occupied half of the front page that accompanied my big story the following day after I took the photo.

My first digital camera was an Olympus but I wasn’t happy with its color rendering. I moved on to a Fujifilm F30, which I loved to bits because of its film simulation settings and low light capability. Since owning that nifty camera, I’ve always bought Fujifilms. I didn’t invest in a DSLR because having owned an SLR that I lugged everywhere I went, I knew it was impractical for me to carry regularly with my laptop and go chasing sources down the hallways for interviews. I still have the Fujifilm XQ1 that I still use in my travels because an SLR is really impractical and cumbersome. A good compromise is a mirrorless camera (like any of the Fujifilm X series) that I can easily shove in my bag. A good focal length would be 35-55mm but it still looks too touristy–because I use my digicam mainly for travel–so the perfect lens would be a pancake lens…

But I digress…

I had/have so many creative outlets but I can’t say I’m brilliant in any of them. That’s why Iā€™m envious of creative and talented people because they have a knack for it while I struggle to produce anything passable. I admire them and I hope that none of those creative people I’ve met lose their talent because they got sidelined (just like that artist-lawyer friend of mine and J).

Taken during my first Angono boat ride with J about two years ago. Photo by CallMeCreation.com