My bestfriend asked me how am I doing now that I’m temporarily single? (the girls are still with their dad) I said, it’s just wonderful not to worry about what to eat and when to eat. I’ll just cook and eat something if I feel like it. I’m not dictated by someone else’s body clock. When I suddenly felt like installing the curtain rod brackets in the girls’ room, I just did it. I just cater to my own whims.
Well, except for the cats and cat stuff.
Kimchi is so fat. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
They kept waking me up because their food bowls were empty. Then they kept bothering me until I cleaned up their litter boxes.
They kept meowing outside my door so when I opened it for them, they plonk themselves at the foot of my bed until i give in and fill up their food bowls. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
And I have to order cans of wet food and bags of kibbles and kitty litter online…
So I take it back. I’m still a slave to my other children. 🤦🏻♀️ They’re the reason I left my hometown early…
It has been a while since I wore my contact lenses because the one on my left eye doesn’t seem to stick. Or if I manage to put the contact lens on my eye, my vision remains blurred so it’s hard to drive. I thought my astigmatism worsened.
Well, it’s worse than I thought. My nearsightedness jumped from – 2.75 and -3.75 to -4.00 and -4.25 with astigmatism remaining at 100. This is just in a span of 6 months 🤦🏻♀️. No wonder I’m having these random headaches. This means I’m legally blind.
I had to change both of my toric contact lenses and eyeglasses again. This time I got a new frame because I think my half-rimmed eyeglasses wouldn’t be able to hold my thickening lenses anymore, even if I am already using the ultra thin ones. I got myself an Ann Taylor catseye frame that was on sale. If I were to remain a thick-lensed, four-eyed monster, might as well be a stylish four-eyed monster. I’ll claim all these by Wednesday.
It was an expensive trip to the optometrist today. 🙄
New running shoes to motivate me. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
I took advantage of the sale in stores today at Gateway Mall where I had my contacts and eye glasses made. I bought myself a pair of New Balance running shoes that were on sale to motivate me to walk again at the UP academic oval. My old Fila are still intact but the soles are already too thin that they hurt my feet. Anyway, they’ve been in service since April 2018 so I’ve already maxed out its utility.
Once I get fit again, I’ll proceed to buy hiking shoes. I want to go to Masungi Georeserve to restart since I got so out of shape after Covid. I’ll video document it for my YT channel and for our KG talk show.
Web-style viewing platform at Masungi Georeserve.
My cats have missed me after leaving them on their own for more than 24 hrs. Now they don’t want me out of their sight. They even watch me sleep 🤣
I missed my cats so I made them lose their minds once again 🤣. They didn’t leave me last night and made sure they disrupted my sleep until 4 am; that’s when I threw them out of my room. Those damned cats made sure I was always awake 🤦🏻♀️
I conducted a one-on-one training with our new reporter the entire day. I have been making inroads in Vietnam and I hope I can fly there to touch base with my contacts and the new reporter. I have to be more hands-on now.
I remember years of not being able to have a long Christmas holiday or any kind of holiday because I had a hard time turning off the tap. I put so much value in my work that my profession has become my identity. I had a very unhealthy relationship with work. I didn’t let myself rest because news never rested. It burned me out so much that I had tried quitting the profession three times. And it keeps pulling me back.
Many of my colleagues will say that journalism feels like a natural extension of being a curious human in the world, which makes it harder yet to unlink our lives from our professions. Traits like curiosity or doggedness can correlate, or predispose us to how we decide to spend our time professionally — and in other arenas of life — rather than the other way around (i.e. our job imparting traits on us that make us who we are).
When I started realizing the distinction between who I am and what I do to earn a living, I started to draw better boundaries around the latter. I no longer work weekends or cover news. (I have two Post-it’s in my office I read every day: “I don’t have to do everything;” “I will not be at the whims of the news cycle.”) And I would argue that those boundaries haven’t made me feel any less of a journalist: I can be committed to telling accurate, illuminating stories when I put work in a box of its own.
The above passages are true of me: I always filter the world through the lenses of a journalist that oftentimes I forget I am a human with feelings and not a slave to the news cycle. I remember working until 3 am because of some breaking news or events that needed to be posted. I didn’t allow myself to be human because there is always the expectation that what I was doing is public service.
Journalism fundamentally trains us to be more observant, analytical and critical of the world around us. When I first entered the field, some of my colleagues joked that journalists are great at understanding others and their problems, but are terrible at recognizing their own. What if we turned that journalistic lens inward to reflect on how we identify, and how those identifiers serve us — or not?
However good I was doing analysis of events or stories, I could not analyze my own self until my world burned itself. I had to step back and disassociate myself.
Now I found the perfect way to manage this problem: Cover stories that you are not passionate about. That’s why I no longer want to cover national/political events. High finance is hardly a passionate topic, unless I am venture capitalist or Warren Buffet who gets his high whenever he closes a deal.
That’s the secret how I lasted this long in this current job. It doesn’t suck the life out of me.
“There’s professional identity and then there’s personal identity, (which) is tied up in the way that you see your purpose, mission and character,” Usher said. “Those things are distinct, and it’s probably helpful to see it that way.”
Driving back to QC is terrible when you lack sleep. I drove for 3 hrs with a pounding head. I think my astigmatism got worse so I need to see an optometrist ASAP. It seems like the pandemic is only a figment of our imagination given the volume of cars out today on the highway and expressway.
Hosting our alumni homecoming last night was ok, except for low battery microphone issues. My class was able to raise about PhP 1.9m (USD 38,000) for the school (IT equipment like laptops for students in need and Internet access for them), digitization of records, and seed money for the endowment fund.
After the event, we just ate, had a little jamming session, and had the hired mobile/sound systems/broadcast/camera equipment company, etc pack their stuff. We didn’t have the energy to party like we did in the past when we only quit when the sun is already up.
This time we were out of the venue by 12 mn. That’s what growing old means.
Because I was so tired and sleepy, my mom and my older sister were the only ones who were able to join the caravan for Leni Robredo in our town and nearby cities this morning. In solidarity, I wore the volunteer shirt last night before we had our live broadcast.
Photo by CallMeCreation.com
On our way back to QC, I bought some plants to give to friends for Christmas.
Photo by CallMeCreation.comPhoto by CallMeCreation.com
These plants are relatives of the birds of paradise (Musaceae) and they have to reach 5 ft before they start flowering. Given the right conditions, that can easily be achieved. Just look at my own birds of paradise, it has grown from a rhizome to 4 ft in 12 months. Had the mother plant lived, it would have flowered by now.
One of the reasons why we needed to go home ASAP is because my cats have been so sad. Ate C sent me another photo of Kimchi waiting for me to enter the door last night.
Waiting.
Meanwhile, my fridge has already given up on me. Ate C had been messaging me while I was driving that the lower part has remained at room temp but the freezer is still ok. She tried her best to do what I did as a band-aid measure when this fridge conked out a few months ago. But Ate C’s efforts it didn’t work.
So the first thing I did when we got home was to scan Lazada for deals. I finally bought the 11.6 cu ft two-door, bottom freezer inverter refrigerator from Panasonic with free shipping. I no longer want LG-branded fridges. This one at home is only 7 years old and the one it replaced was a Samsung, which was only two years old when the insulation burst open and leaked ice and water all over the place. I wanted the Hitachi bottom freezer fridge but Anson’s Online’s pricing was confusing. At first it said there was a discount of about PHP 3,000 but when I was checking out the item in my cart, it went back to the original price. It was dodgy. So they wouldn’t give discounts for those who are using credit cards online? That’s stupid.
And oh, I must talk to my financial advisor. I need to draw down one of my funds because construction for my flat will start in January.
My newly acquired peach rose. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
I bought this on the way to my hometown last weekend and it was only this morning I had the chance to replant them. My girls bought me pruning shears from Mr. DIY yesterday when they went out with their dad. I used the shears happily this morning and gardened until half past 1 pm.
Lovely flowers I bought for PHP 35 each plant. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
My little roses have started to bloom again after careful pruning and fertilizing. Photo by CallMeCreation.com So did my first rose, the white rose. My liquid fertilizer and powdered egg shells did wonders. Photo by CallMeCreation.com My birds of paradise that I transferred to a bigger pot today. This one is already the daughter plant of the original that I bought in ny hometown last year. Now it has grown its own daughter (see the shoot below?). The mother plant died because it was under direct sunlight. Since I’ve transferred this baby in the shade, it thrived and grew faster. It may have to grow up to 5 ft before it would start to flower. Photo by CallMeCreation.com I cleaned up the container garden today. I must get some pedestals so the pots would be at different levels to give it depth. Excuse my neighbor’s mess at the back. I plan to put up a chicken wire to delineate our territories and keep their trash out. And have some creeping roses climb over it. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Meanwhile, my cat loves to intervene in my bed-making chore. I was making my bed for my Zennya massage when she slipped under the covers and stayed there
Kimchi trying to be cute. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
My high school friends had been teasing me because one of the guys that we had a jamming session with (the guitarist) last week was messaging me on Facebook yesterday. True that it was odd he would be messaging me when I was the only girl in that group and in terms of friendship or closeness, I was the least close to him. He is one batch younger than us, a friend of my sister. One high school friend said, oyyyy he has a crush on you!
Too bad I’m already numb. I don’t feel anything. If I weren’t jaded and numb, I would have been flattered because he was the most popular and good-looking guy in our high school and when we were in college. But this tita is already… meehhhhhh.
Funny how things turn out.
This is how being numb feels like. Nothing. You’re just a rock. It’s like a default defense mechanism. I guess life would be easier this way.
The last time I saw a film in theaters was when J and I watched Ip Man 4 in Eastwood. That was two or three days before lockdown last year. I’m still scared of going into tight and enclosed spaces but this movie, House of Gucci, makes me want to forget about Covid.
But I’m not stupid. I’ll just wait for it to be streamed online probably.
There’s something mesmerizing about Lady Gaga here. I’m no fan of hers but she was completely erased here and all I see was Patrizia Reggiani. Jared Leto looked comical in this one but he is not Jared Leto here; he has become a caricature of Paolo Gucci. I love Jared when he leads 30 Seconds to Mars and even I can’t reach his notes. I have yet to see a mature Jared Leto acting. I watched him as a pretty boy in some TV shows and movies during my pre-teen and teeny bopper days.
I just wish I could watch movies in theaters again. Or watch live theater performances without fearing for my life. 😓
Meanwhile…
I saw my curtains move in the middle of the night.
Photo by CallMeCreation.com Of course, it has to be a cat. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
