The world in turmoil

I’ve been holding back on writing about Hamas and Benjamin Netanyahu’s populist handling of the fragile situation with the Palestinians and Gaza because it hurts my brain. It’s a complicated thing, this decades-old Israel-Palestine conflict. It sprung from colonialism, with the British meddling with Middle Eastern affairsβ€”a case of colonizers making pawns of everyone. Then it spiraled down from there.

I read one opinion piece that boldly declared that Netanyahu has to go. Another news article said that an ex-Israeli prime minister has openly criticized Netanyahu, who has ultimately delivered the Israelis onto Hamas’ hands with his kind of leadership.

“On one level, Israelis are paying the price for years of hubris, during which our governments and many ordinary Israelis felt we were so much stronger than the Palestinians, that we could just ignore them. There is much to criticize about the way Israel has abandoned the attempt to make peace with the Palestinians and has held for decades millions of Palestinians under occupation…”

Yuval Noah Harari for the Washington Post

What hurts my brain here is that I have a good friend who is a…let’s say a Zionist Christian zealot who exults Israel so much, not taking into consideration that whatever is happening in that part of the world is political in nature, not religious in the sense “it is what God wants” kind of situation. If I were younger, I would have engaged her in an intellectual tussle over this. But age and wisdom told me not to waste my breath.

“The real explanation for Israel’s dysfunction is populism rather than any alleged immorality. For many years, Israel has been governed by a populist strongman, Benjamin Netanyahu, who is a public-relations genius but an incompetent prime minister. He has repeatedly preferred his personal interests over the national interest and has built his career on dividing the nation against itself…”

Harari for the Washington Post

This, however, does not justify what Hamas has done and what Hamas is doing. They’re no different from al-Qaida, Abu Sayyaf and the Taliban. Terrorists are terrorists.

But destroying Palestinians out of existence is not self-defense. It’s genocide, not much different from what the Nazi did to the Jews in Europe.

Look at what US has done to Iraq in the guise of ridding the world of weapons of mass destruction. Now that part of the world is overrun by extremists. Look at what US did to Afghanistan. Netanyahu’s invasion of Gaza is not that different.

Violence to counter violence will cause the world to implode. We are still trying to contain the fires in Ukraine and here we are, inflaming another war.

“The government was repeatedly warned by its own security forces and by numerous experts that its policies were endangering Israel and eroding Israeli deterrence at a time of mounting external threats…”

Harari, The Washington Post

Always, it’s the ordinary citizens who are the losers in this game of chess among megalomaniacs.


Beauty fades, lust dampens and what will be left?

Nothing.

What if you settled (i.e. get married) with somebody just because you don’t want to be alone but don’t have anything in common, like a shared love for something like poetry or if you don’t talk about ideas or have genuine friendship and the only thing that binds you to this person is sex? You’ll be stuck forever with someone whom you cannot talk to for days on end. All your life. To the end of your days…

This has been one thing that my friends and I were not able to tackle during our dinner last week. Fairy gaymother K has a bf who is 15 years his junior. There’s this huge generation gap and it becomes apparent when his bf sends him memes (and the bf can spend hours just scrolling through memes) and K couldn’t understand the humor in it, the bf gets upset. Our generation didn’t grow up with memes, hence, our lack of appreciation for such. Heck, our TVs then didn’t have remote controls and we physically turn the external antenna outside our homes to get good reception!

Both of them are now in Singapore for business (for fairy gaymother K) and leisure (the bf). It’s the bf’s first trip abroad so he wants to go to 1) Universal Studios, 2) Singapore Zoo, 3) Night Safari, 4) Merlion etc etc. Just thinking about it makes K exhausted. We told him he has to accommodate his bf’s wishes however distasteful or exhausting it is for him. “You’ve got to give him that. You’re the more mature one,” one friend said.

Our generation or our circle of friends, if we were to take a trip together, we would be 1) going to museums and discuss the latest exhibit; 2) backpacking our way by train from Thailand to Laos/Cambodia (which K and B did a few years ago); 3) attending a jazz music-fest or watching a dance performance; 4) enroll in one-time pottery-making class just for the heck of it; 5) sneak in a class in some university just for kicks.

We were talking about M’s online course about public policy with Harvard U; Mama K’s last marathon in Germany (her next one is NY or Boston Marathon); fairy gaymother K’s dance classes; and my plan to take up data analytics courses. We couldn’t stop talking; we only had to stop because the restaurant was already closing down.

This just illustrates that wavelengths matter in relationships. Beauty and lust die, what are left are the conversations and the friendship. If I don’t have that, better I remain single than settle for somebody substandard who could not even speak the same language as I do, metaphorically. Or literally, like writing or posting on social media using jejemon language. πŸ€¦πŸ»β€β™€οΈ

Sleeping beauty

How is it possible that the only thing I did on Sunday was sleep? I only woke up to cook then slept, then woke up at 2 pm to go to church and then slept again. It’s now 1:55 am, was forced to wake up to let Sushi out of the room.

It’s just one cetirizine tablet but I was knocked out cold.

I was too sleepy to cook a decent dinner so dimsum it is. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

Sana

Lazy Saturday morning. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

I have no motivation to get out of bed. I love mornings in my bedroom.

Umm, but it’s laundry day today. My cleaning lady will pick up the laundry and do her thing downstairs. I needed to open the door for her.

Laundry day. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

Then I realized that we don’t use the couches because it’s full of cat hair. I changed the covers and et voila! It’s already Christmas in this tiny house.

Tacky. Have a tacky Christmas! Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Watching the day die on my pseudo-balcony. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Photo by CallMeCreation.com

Sana masaya ka na, nakuha mo na ang gusto mo. Gustong-gusto ko na magdusa ka pero, wala eh, pinalad ka. Kahit kulang-kulang ka.

Gusto ko sana ipaghiganti ako ng tadhana, kaso hindi ako pinagpala. Gusto ko sana maramdaman mo kahit kalahati ng sakit na naranasan ko, pero meron talagang mga tao na pinagpapala at kakampi ng langit. Meron namang mga tao na laging kasama ng pighati. Ako yun.


RIP Acer, hello Cool Master

I finally had it checked. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

It has been sending me signals that its life is about to end. Two weeks ago, it wasn’t powering up after sleep or shut down. I opened it up to check if the power supply got fried or the battery is already bloated. Then like its temperamental original owner, it would choose to power up and function normally when it decides to play nice. So this laptop and I were playing some kind of game and it would choose to not cooperate during an important moment.

Because of this, I never turned off this laptop and have Spotify play sleep music in the background.

But after we came back from Manila yesterday, the laptop wouldn’t power up again even though the indicator light is showing signs of life. I brought it to the PC repair shop to check if it still can be resurrected.

Cleaning the guts. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

Then it powered up again, like it’s telling the repair guy I am a liar and it’s working fine. I got charged PhP 1,300 for some thing that he replaced that I didn’t really remember. I have a strong feeling I was scammed. When I got home, it wouldn’t work. Brought it back, the guy said the charger is shot. I went to another PC shop to buy a universal charger, but when we tried, it wouldn’t work. The guy said, it’s beyond power supply.

UPDATE: See? The bastard is working smoothly again. What’s his deal?!

That shitty power supply. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

I then asked for a quote for a mini PC tower based on the components I chose from another shop. Ryzen 7 5700G, 16 GB RAM, 1 TB SSD, Gigabyte mobo (should be Wifi 6), etc…and oh, a mini-ITX casing.

This would be around PHP 36,700, without Win 11 yet. It could be 3k cheaper if I changed Ryzen 7 to Ryzen 5. I don’t play pc games that much so Ryzen 5 will do. I just needed something that is fast enough and can support all the progams I am running all at the same time, all the time. I guess it would be 10k more expensive with the OS installed.

My dilemma is this is almost as expensive as a Lenovo E16, which is already powered by Ryzen 5 7530U and I get to have a third screen of about 16″.

UPDATE: The Cool Master mini ITX case has its own 850w power supply, so that will shave 7k from my total cost. And if I go with Ryzen 5, I have 10k worth of savings, which could go to Win 11!

But it hurts my brain right now that I need to fork a huge amount when I’m still not done with my daughter’s illness.

I could use my underpowered but more portable Lenovo in the meantime…but it irritates me because it’s slower and it doesn’t have an ethernet port so video calls aren’t as snappy because I rely on wifi for connectivity. And that is meant only for working on the go, not as a desktop replacement.

I can’t spend for my wants, not until I am sure we won’t be needing chemotherapy/we are cleared by our oncologist.

Meanwhile, I bought additional RAM sticks for my girls and installed them because sometimes their PCs become laggy (Chrome is such a power hog).

The innards of my daughter’s PC tower. I cleaned it with my new vacuum cleaner before snapping on the new RAM stick. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

I ended up cooking dinner late because I upgraded my girls’ RAM and cleaned the inside for better airflow. What’s the quickest to cook? This πŸ‘‡

The easiest to cook. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Because my dinner needed some kick. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

I have to think deeply about this PC issue. If only the Acer would stick around for a bit longer, then I wouldn’t feel guilty about spending on my wants because at the back of my mind I need to reserve my money for Twin A’s medical expenses.

Homeward bound

Skyway south bound. Photo by Twin A.

It was a hectic day as I was chasing the schedules of the doctors involved in the MRI. I had to wake up at 4 am to give my patient her anti-TB meds because she can’t have anything, except water, past 5 am. Good thing she didn’t eat because our MRI schedule was moved to 12 noon instead of 1 pm. πŸ€¦πŸ»β€β™€οΈAnd with Metro Manila traffic, it’s hard to have last-minute changes like that. Good thing we already checked out before 10 am and when they messaged, we were on our way to PGH.

To make matters complicated, both my girls were attending online classes so moving them was a bit cumbersome. What’s worse is that they kept on fighting with each other.

At war with each other while I was at the front desk to check out. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Waiting for our turn. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Waiting, waiting…photo by CallMeCreation.com

Twin I was at Starbucks in Robinsons Manila attending online class and later on was joined by her dad to do his duty and watch over his daughter. He didn’t volunteer to contribute financially, that’s probably the reason why… 😢 Oh well, as I’ve said before, I have very low expectations and better keep it that way.

Stupid me. I forgot to get the MRI plates so I have to go back 🫠. The reading can be emailed to me but the plates are too high res and can’t be emailed.


I miss sketching. I miss watercoloring. I have no mojo to do these.

Maybe I need to go on a road trip.


The provincianas are back in the big city

Overlooking Salcedo Village, Makati. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

I have a dinner date with my besties in the industry. They’re from rival newswires, all editors and one govt official who is an ex-reporter. Since Twin A’s MRI is scheduled at noon tomorrow, might as well stay overnight in the city. I brought Twin I along.

Cheerful. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Can bring back food for snacks tonight and last meal before 5 am tomorrow since Twin A will be on an 8-hr fast. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Last-minute work before I feed my brood. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
I’m happy her appetite is normal. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
This girl, on the other hand, loves food. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Waiting for my friends to arrive. Photo by CallMeCreation.com