My girls have now graduated from elementary school. ❤️ I couldn’t have been more proud. Despite the upsetting start that we had, the girls and I managed to come out of our ordeals with flying colors. They tried their best because they knew their momma was also trying her best to give them the world. They are really good kids. They are the reason why I wanted to get better and heal myself. I don’t want them to have a broken mama.

Even though I’m far away, I’m still there in spirit. I’m proud momma as both my girls are among the top five of their class.

This is not a valedictory address; Twin I was leading the prayer here. But for me it’s the same. I remember back in grade school and high school, it’s usually the salutatorian who led the prayer, playing second fiddle to the valedictorian who gave the speech representing the class.

My graduation gift to my children is a new house that we would be moving into 15 days from now. A new life with fresh challenges and rewards.

I’m trying to pack my stuff but I just want to curl up in bed. I rushed this morning to attend church service but I got schedules mixed up. I was 30 mins late so I had to attend the next one to make my trip worthwhile.

I had this for late lunch because I was intrigued, trying to figure out how to do the tornado omelette. It’s sad though because I make better tasting pork cutlet and the omurice was bland while mine has flavor.

I’m excited to cook in my new kitchen. I have more prep space, it’s 100x much cleaner, and it is mine. I will make more memorable dishes for my small family in that kitchen. When my girls wake up in the morning, they will have this tornado omurice that will be much better than the one in the photo. Food made with so much love. Too bad my stupid exes didn’t value the domestic goddess in me. 🤣🤣🤣🤣 It’s their loss. 🔥

Domestic goddess x super journalist. You will never find another one like me. 😊 Ah yes, I need this self-affirmation because no one else will give it to me. It’s part of the exercise to value myself because previous partners didn’t. Part of the process of loving myself when no one would.

Congratulations to myself. I see my worth now. Will they, the exes, see my value now or in the future? I doubt. Who cares now, anyway? I deserve so much better, as one of my sources-turned-friend told me a few days ago.

I hope my friend whom I wrote about yesterday sees the wisdom in my healing process. I hope she can have peace. I’m not there yet because I’m still angry but at least I love myself more now. I’m placid—the best description for me now.

Took my sweet time before going to Botanical Gardens late morning, at around 10:30 am. As expected, the heat was oppressive and the sun was chasing me as I kept moving my stuff on the grass.

My friend of three decades followed me to the Botanic Gardens and we had a long chat about what’s happening with her lately. In a nutshell, she broke up with another guy last night. She was pissed with me for asking things that she didn’t want to hear.

She has been serial dating and hopping from one relationship to another without properly healing. But it seems like she doesn’t believe in my method of healing, like taking time to love myself first, trying to meet my needs by myself and not trying to fill the perceived void that is my own making. She said, “why can’t I do both? Loving myself while I try out relationships to see what I really want out of them?”

I told her, without properly healing, you will always end up with the wrong person, carrying the same toxicity and meeting the same toxic people. In the process you are hurting and exhausting yourself more.

She doesn’t recognize that the void she wants to fill up can be done by herself. I believe (and she doesn’t) that she will have a healthier relationship with somebody if she herself is a whole person and not trying to fill up what she perceives to be missing with what the other person may or may not offer. That’s the problem with co-dependents (she is also a product of a co-dependent parents), they have this need for affirmation and perceived value to come from another person.

Anyway, I do pray that she finds peace in herself and the world around her and not go down into a vortex of toxic relationships.

My new friend/co-worker (who I had hung out with last November here in SG) flew here on Tue from HK to attend our events. She was very troubled; she was lifeless when we were doing our respective networking rounds.

She was about to cry when she told me her story about this Polish guy living in the same building as her, who was manipulating her. Basically, he just wants a fuck buddy as he didn’t want commitment. He just goes to her apartment (never his), he doesn’t want to be seen with her or hold her hands when they go out to eat (which was seldom), and he brings her to shady places (literally shady so he can’t be seen with her) and figuratively. She told me she feels like garbage when she’s with him. He makes himself scarce then he would suddenly send messages and say I miss you, let’s meet…it’s like he’s doing this so she would want him more.

I listened and assured her she’s not garbage and she doesn’t deserve this guy. I told her, “he’s just using you, your body, and seems like he has this Chinese girl fetish.”

“And he makes you feel bad that you had to go to Singapore for work, saying you’re just here to f*ck other men. He’s an asshole. Girl, you need to block him on your phone. You need to quit this guy.”

I know it’s hard to let go, I told her, but you already have self-awareness that he treats you like shit. You need to cut him out cold turkey or else you will be dragged down into his vortex of games that he’s playing with you.

Guys are assholes 🤬. I’m beginning to think that there are no good men left on this planet. We’re just human appliances to them, very utilitarian. Or just warm sexual playthings.

We had to cut our conversation since I needed to go back to the office for the training I had to conduct. She was asking me if I can go to the cocktail party that our company is co-hosting with one of our global clients. I said it depends on my energy level.

Unfortunately, I was already drained as hell at past 6 pm. I had to tie up some loose ends since some of my team mates are flying back to their respective homes tomorrow. The energy left in me was just enough for me to go to Maxwell to eat dinner and go to my hotel. I was already dragging my body as I was dead inside.

Cases of covid are rising again with this new variant circulating now. A lot of people are coughing and sneezing in the trains. 😵 Geez, I can’t go home with Covid so I went back to masking.

There were a lot of people today but I didn’t have much energy to network. I just zoned out the rest of the conference. 😶‍🌫️ I didn’t even have the energy to finish today’s session.

But I did chase a big company today and asked their BD for an interview with their regional boss for a corporate strategy feature. Hopefully we bag that and our commercial team would be so happy.

Our APAC boss was so excited to have satay at Lau Pasat that she ordered enough to cause food coma again.

I smell like satay smoke now. Need to have that very hot bath.

I woke up at 5 am to get to the venue at 7 am. The sun wasn’t up yet.

I kept praying that everything will go well and thank God it did go well. The first session I moderated was good, if I can say so myself, because I had been interviewing the keynote speaker since 2007 so the rapport is there and I asked the right questions to get interesting answers because I know their history.

The second panel I did had some last-minute substitutions but I was able to transition from online to onstage and back and I threw curve balls that elicited candid answers. I ended up exactly on time for both sessions.

I was just so relieved that it is done. The pressure is high because top management in London was watching. If I do well, I can push the envelope and ask for favors for my team in the future.

I am so tired though. I took advantage of the open bar at the end of the conference and the waiters kept refilling my glass with white wine until my manager and the rest of my team mates are laughing hard at each other’s drunkenness. 😂

Then we walked to Lau Pasat to cure our alcohol-adled brains.

Tomorrow I’ll just relax and network to death.