My pulse oximeter has finally arrived. I should make a Covid pack to prepare for home care just in case somebody gets infected and needs isolation. I should be getting the disposable and washable PPEs next.
I’m praying that I wouldn’t need all those things ever.
The situation is not easing up. Everyday my social media feeds are filled with people who express sorrow over a relative or a friend’s death because of COVID-19. Everyday. I’m getting tired and frustrated of saying condolence everyday.
My mom finally got her vaccine shot but I won’t feel at ease until she gets the second dose since protection comes seven days after the second shot. My second dose is scheduled on May 9. Seven days after that I would be confident of taking care of anybody who needs to be nursed back to health.
Meanwhile, one of my cats is in heat again. 🤦🏻♀️ After 3 weeks. I only had 3 hours of sleep because of her. She’s soooooooooo noisy doing her mating calls and rubbing herself all over, knocking down stuff. I finally rebooked their spaying, which was originally scheduled after Christmas. I wasn’t able to bring them to PAWS on their appointed date because I was still dead during those days 💔. Hopefully things will go well with their surgeries on the 28th. 🐈🐈
I went to Wilcon Home Depot after work to buy tiles, tile adhesive, and grout. I am finally biting the bullet and I’m going to have the bathroom floor re-tiled.
Why did it take me this long (almost 3 years)? Because having the bathroom re-tiled means four days of unusable bathroom (for showering) and that would piss off J so much and I would not hear the end of his complaints. Now that he’s no longer here, I can finally do this. I can devote more time to supervising the work since I have more free time now. When we were still together, 70% of my time was devoted to J, attending to his needs, especially when he was still in AirBnBs: driving back and forth, eating out, running errands for him/with him, doing chores, and keeping him company until dawn. When I’m not yet in his condo, he would be asking, “When/what time are you coming over?”
When he was here in the apartment, I had to make sure the disturbance to him was minimal. Any home repairs or improvement must be worked around his schedule.
That’s why when he suggested to have a sink and have another exhaust fan installed in the bathroom, I couldn’t commit because that also entails tile change. I needed to figure out the logistics and was determining whether my EQ can take the complaints that will surely come my way because he would not be able to shower in the bathroom for four days or do number 1 and 2 uncomfortably. The noise–the hammering to chip away the tiles–would also drive him mad. I was running the numbers in my head if I can afford to make him stay in a hotel while the bathroom is being fixed.
But then there were more immediate things that needed my attention like fixing the car. Then I had to drive him to where he wanted to go whenever he was having cabin fever. Before Covid, I also needed to be in the field for work while I ferry him to his meetings. Then every weekend we always had to do something or go somewhere.
I never came around to tackling the bathroom.
So now as part of my loving myself program, I’m going to indulge in a better bathroom, even if this apartment is not mine/I don’t have equity in it. If I can only fit a Japanese soaking tub in there, I would. I don’t like the tub in my mom’s house, the western style tub that wastes too much water. The hotels or ryokan I pick for my travels in Japan had to be 1) within walking distance of a train station or 2) have an in-house onsen or a deep soaking tub.
Bette Midler’s soaking tub. Photo by Architectural Digest.
So once I start building my cottage, I’m definitely going to install a very good water heater and a Japanese soaking tub.
This blog entry looks like it’s just a story about a bathroom. But it’s more of an example of how I accommodated J in my life. That he was a huge chunk of my life for 2.5 years.
That darned ugly thing is always spewed back here by hell. 😖
My floofies. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
My bundle of floof a.k.a. kittykats always try to sneak into my room. And they refuse to budge and get off my chair. My chair.
That little sneak. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
That little critter took over my chair while I was having breakfast downstairs (hence, the unmade bed and messy table because I haven’t started my day yet).
The other little sneak after stuffing herself in my handbag. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
They know that the bed is off-limits so either they spread themselves all over my bedroom floor or invade my chair. Giving me an excuse not to work yet.
My floof balls, they’re a joy to have around.
Found some wet food online and they finally arrived! They’re around the same price as the 400g Vitapet wet food that I buy in the Robinsons Express (formerly Shopwise) near the apartment. The big Vitapet cans are hard to come by so I had to search for alternatives online.
I only give this at night, as was the habit started by J since they were little kittens. During daytime they graze on dry food. I should feed them cooked fish and meat every now and then because the dry cat food is high on sodium that causes UTI, kidney, and liver problems.
My dad was right in not believing in dry cat food. We always had separate cooked fish or meat for our cats when he was still alive. The last cat we had ran away a few days after my dad died.
Hmm I should have my cats’ blood work done soon to check… 🤔
A parody of Weekend At Bernie’s, a movie my family enjoyed in the early 1990s.
So the old man is still alive and kicking, as shown in his sort of recorded press briefing, whatever proof-of-life broadcast they did last night. Based on the snippets of whatever is posted on Twitter, there was nothing there of note, just ranting against his critics, no concrete plans about the frickin’ lockdown, no plans–period. And yet the DDS keeps on applauding.
Meanwhile, I am much better today compared to Sunday night and yesterday. I felt so rotten for 24 hrs because the side effects of Sinovac were so pronounced. I was itchy all over and felt like I had flu but not full-blown flu. I just wanted to sleep and stay in bed but I had three calls yesterday so…oh well.
So that means my antibodies are fighting off the inactivated coronavirus? I don’t know but damn it should work, after all the crappy feeling I had yesterday.
My aunt had a stroke and is now suffering from pneumonia. She is diabetic and in her 80s. No hospital in Manila took her in because they are so full so not even non-covid cases could be accommodated. My sister assisted them in finding a hospital in my hometown and thankfully they were able to admit her at 1 am yesterday. My cousin drove back to QC to get clothes and other stuff since it seems like they would be staying there for quite a while. She didn’t have enough masks to allow her to double-mask so I bought a box of surgical masks and gave her all my cloth masks when she stopped by my apartment so she could double mask in the hospital. She went back to my hometown to isolate in one of our rooms in my mom’s house until she could bring home her mom.
So now I’m back to sewing cloth masks again because I don’t have any left. Plus my cousin may need more.
San Miguel Light to keep me company while I sew new masks. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Something horrific happened earlier. I was supposed to message my brother and send him the Lazada link to a laptop that he can check out for his son but damn it I mis-sent it to J. I was wondering why my brother wasn’t responding. Too late, I realized that I sent it to J, because his chat box was next to my brother’s. I had to quickly recall it but it would still show that I sent something. In disgust, I deleted J altogether.
I should have deleted the chat box a long time ago. Now he would think I’m trying to get his attention. Fuck. I’d rather die than do that. I no longer have anything left in me except my dignity. I can’t lose it again.
He may not be my biggest error but he’s my biggest regret. No more, I will never be duped again.
Come to think of it, I don’t know if he really knew me. I bet you he even doesn’t know when my birthday is.
Aside from feeling horrible physically, I am also feeling crappy about that mistake. I needed something to make me feel Ok-things-are-shit-right-now-but-you-will-be-fine-later so I came back to music. I used to listen to “The World I Know” by Collective Soul way back in college when I feel like I’m going nowhere. I would just lie down on my bed and feel the lyrics. I need this right now, after ranting to a friend this morning about work and how I hate it these days and I already wanted to resign but I still don’t have an alternative lined up.
As I said before, when anger hits me, it hits me hard. To the point that I regretted that I loved him that much. To the point that I wished that I never met him.
Because you know, it’s hard. I just want peace. I just want to be left alone. I just want to be… Just be…
I just want this to be over. Because it hurts bad. I don’t deserve this.
While in the waiting room, observing for any adverse allergic reaction. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Quezon City finally got its act together and was able to procure enough vaccines to include A3 (residents with comorbidities). For that I’m thankful. My family back in my hometown is still waiting for notices.
I took Grab, thinking that there will be no parking area within or near the public elementary school that they converted into a vaccination center. I was right.
Grab ride ro vaccine center. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
My instinct was also right in assuming that there would be less people queueing late afternoon on a Sunday. I had my vaccine within an hour of my arrival there. Going through the screenings was a breeze because I prepared all my medical records.
The school was half-empty. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
My 2nd dose will be next month and I don’t know if it would be as easy as this one because my schedule will coincide with those people who will just get their 1st dose. I hope it’s not as chaotic as the first few days of the vax program.
The attending physicians there said Sinovac will be effective seven days after the 2nd shot. Those with allergies and asthma are required to wait for 30 mins to observe for any adverse response, which I did. I’m also expected to feel flu-like symptoms so we were told that we can self-medicate at home.
The most important document these days. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
UPDATE:
We’re screwed.
BEIJING (AP) — In a rare admission of the weakness of Chinese coronavirus vaccines, the country’s top disease control official says their effectiveness is low and the government is considering mixing them to get a boost.
“It’s now under formal consideration whether we should use different vaccines from different technical lines for the immunization process,” Gao said.
Good thing I prepared a mini celebration today for my girls’ birthday tomorrow. If I’m going to be sick tomorrow, at least I’m already half-done with the girls’ birthday cakes and food. One daughter specifically asked for steak while the other asked for pizza. So today is steak day, tomorrow is pizza day.
Prime rib. Photo by CallMeCreation.com Packaging says it’s made of coconut and is supposed to be smokeless. The anahaw fan is an indispensable tool when grilling. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
This charcoal briquette claims to be smokeless. To some extent, it produced less smoke but that darn thing doesn’t easily burn. So I had to add ordinary charcoal to produce embers quicker.
Red velvet from Old Baguio Cafe. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
We have too many cakes since my neighbor gifted the girls with a box of sans rival while I bought carrot cake from Old Baguio Cafe on the way home from the vaccination center. Then I bought slices of red velvet and strawberry shortcake to try.
This government is so obsessed trying to convince the public that the president is alive and well. The people at the top do not give a fuck that we’re sinking deeper and deeper. That today is supposed to be the last day of the enhanced community quarantine (ECQ) a.k.a. hard lockdown and yet they haven’t issued guidelines yet for tomorrow’s modified ECQ. Everything will be a mess tomorrow, as expected.
The photo that Bong Go and his ilk have been sending to media.
That guy isn’t even Duterte. The big tummy is missing. And who in his right mind would be golfing at night?! And why is the golf bag in the way?
Proof of life? Nay. If the president is incapacitated, under the law the VP takes over. The VP who is working tirelessly finding solutions to workable problems like mass testing and giving aid to those who tested positive despite her limited budget. To keep them at home and equipping them for Covid home care.
