My best friend, who is teaching in UP, has been consulting me about some TV guesting in a show where she is an executive producer. The topic was “fake news” and the elections then our conversation drifted to media literacy and society. Then she said my ideas were perfect for the show so she onboarded me as one of the guests just talking about it. It’s funny because I only have a master’s degree on this while she has a PhD. Hahaha! She says I’m on the ground as a media practitioner so I have real-world application.
As a half-assed academic (or former academic), I do have my moments. 😂
I will be on air on the 21st.
Cradling Kimchi while I worked. Photo by Twin I.
I’ve been surrounding myself again with things I love to lift my mood. Recalling the horrendous days when I unearthed a lot of information and relating to my shrink my feelings and the roller coaster ride I experienced the entire month of Feb had undone me this week. Because I had been suppressing them so I can function but out of necessity I had to dig for them again. I just wish it would just end now. I had been squishing my cats today as a stress reliever. I also watered and trimmed my plants, which are blooming again. Woooohooo!
Marigold. Photo by CallMeCreation.comPhoto by CallMeCreation.comThis was supposed to be dying a few months ago but it has now bloomed again. Photo by CallMeCreation.comMy variegated mini roses in bloom again. Photo by CallMeCreation.comPhoto by CallMeCreation.comMorning glory I had grown from seeds. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
After a day of editing, transcribing interviews, and writing an article, some quiet preoccupation is needed. Like tending to my plants or drawing.
Initial sketch. Panglao island, Bohol. Art and photo by CallMeCreation.com
Ok I just had a lengthy discussion with some editors this late at night because a company is threatening to sue us because my boss didn’t edit the story properly. It’s a long story but she really doesn’t edit and fact checks and stuff. My hands have always been tied because I cannot usurp my boss even though she’s effing up.
Sigh. I need to destress. I’ll start coloring this sketch above. Thank God for watercolor sketching.
So the economist of a global bank told me today that Thailand will take a huge battering this year given that tourism is sooooo down plus global trade is weak, hence, it will continue to register huge current account deficits. Its currency would be the worst performing one this year in the region given that its economy is heavily dependent on external demand like tourism and exports. It is also hurting from the spike in oil since it is also a net importer of petroleum.
Meanwhile, the Philippines—which has been leaning heavily on internal/domestic demand to run its economy—will a bit insulated but with a caveat: its consumer demand will be dampened by a quickening of inflation. The food basket makes up a huge part of of its CPI and it will surely take a hit from the rise in fuel and electricity. Our fuel and power are not subsidized by the government so the full effect of the rise in world market prices easily hurts us. We have the highest power cost in Asia after Japan because we bear the full weight of market prices. Indonesia, which has an inflation rate of 2% mainly due to govt subsidies on fuel/power, will be the least affected by the spike because of this artificial stability in costs of goods and services. But this is at the expense of its national budget that would come under strain—public spending for services and infrastructure would be sacrificed. Malaysia to some extent will enjoy the rise in oil prices and super cycle in semiconductors but at the same time it would have to absorb the costs of these rise in commodities since it also subsidizes fuel and power.
As I said yesterday, the spike in commodity prices will redound to other industries.
This affects all heavy industries dependent on steel and other alloys. If you’re a trader, it’s nerve wracking to short your position these days. Its suicide. Wild, wild market that we have now.
Despite sleeping late last night because of last-minute portrait sketching exercises (and waking up in the middle of the night because I was angry), I had a surprisingly good sleep thereafter so I was able to wake up in a good disposition. I was able to attend back-to-back meetings today without feeling exhausted and got a couple of stories.
Refreshed, waiting for the Zoom meeting/press briefing to begin this morning. CallMeCreation.com
I’m not good at drawing or whatever I’m doing on paper but it makes me feel great. I like it that I see progress in whatever I’m doing. Expressing myself in colors. Seeing colors. Dipping the brush in pans of colors…it’s like creating a world from what’s inside my head. Whatever I draw doesn’t have to be a replica of what I’m seeing but rather whatever I put on paper is what I see in my head or what my heart tells me I feel I should put on paper.
Here we are, my gay friend, K, and I are chatting and we’re talking about visiting museums when they reopen. I gave him a list of the places that we should go to.
Views of Rodel Tapaya’s work exhibited at the second floor of Artinformal gallery | PHxOTO: Tatler Homes PhilippinesPhoto: MCAD Manila
I told him I woke up on the right side of the bed this morning. “Art therapy does a lot to me,” I told him. “Art really helps no?” he remarked.
I am not your typical Filipino since I’m not really that interested in going to the US even for a visit. I mean it’s a lot of hassle getting the visa and all. I only entertained the idea because of J. But otherwise it’s not a priority. If I get seconded to our New York office (two-week trip for senior staff), I’m just interested in visiting museums, seeing musicals and straight plays, and eat. That’s it. My older sister did a three-week European trip in 2019 to see museums there because she was already running out of ideas. She was stumped and her painting stopped for a while. I want to do that trip as well. The girls are older now and since we will be moving closer to my mom, the girls can stay with her if I’m away for two to three weeks. I can do that during spring, when they’re on their summer vacation from school. They’re the reason why I limit my trips within Asia. I only can be away for a week or less than two weeks. Once I was away for 11 days (Japan), they were asking and crying why was I away for so long?
Let’s see if I can go to a photography exhibit this weekend.
The markets are on a tailspin and commodities traders are going nuts. I’ve never seen prices like this before, not even in 2008 when the world had gone mad.
Nickel miners here in the Philippines and Indonesia must be very happy right now but industrials are not. Steel bars are going to be very expensive and it would hit real estate companies that are building high rises. I remember one former Ayala Land president getting fired for hedging steel bars in 2007-2008, when prices were sky-high (according to grapevine). I was the one who interviewed him when he revealed that they hedged. That was also the problem with Philippine Airlines around that time, they hedged jet fuel—and registered losses when it just exited receivership. I clearly remember those times when I had been busy writing about those things…writing about going into the red. By that time I was already used to writing so much negative news having been seasoned by the global financial crisis–especially after Lehman Brothers fell.
I remember asking real estate companies then if they would make their units smaller or scale back project launches given that all prices of raw materials shot up. Their answer: both.
Younger local reporters ought to ask the corporates the same questions now if these reporters are enterprising and not boxed in like the usual lazy reportage that I had seen in my time with local media. During this time I should also have to ask them about possible refinancing or deleveraging given that interest rates would soon swing to an unfavorable direction. Let’s see how their financing programs would pan out with this crazy market that we have right now.
I’ve been watching sketching and urban sketching lessons online along with my Domestika subscription to level up my basic skills whenever I couldn’t sleep. I draw until I feel sleepy. It’s hard to have your mind blank when you’re waiting for your brain to stop working.
My facial proportion exercise no. 1. Art and photo by CallMeCreation.com
I purchased this course but I haven’t been following it step by step because I have a day job.
Initial oputput. Art and photo by CallMeCreation.com
I let this scene of Metro Manila viewed from Padi’s Point, Sumulong Highway, Antipolo dry first before layering.
Waiting for it to dry again. Art and photo by CallMeCreation.com
It’s hard to get the light colors right because the watercolors sometimes look like they’re enough when wet but when they dry up they look very transparent. So I need to layer again and again just to get it right. I’ll do the third layering tomorrow. My sister-in-law said this looks like the start of a zombie apocalypse.
Two nights ago I had a dream that I was performing in the musical Beauty and The Beast. I was at the backstage changing costumes. I was layering a costume underneath and was putting another one on top—the usual technique for actors when they had to deal with quick wardrobe changes. I was playing Belle.
When I woke up, I searched in my heart if I was missing theater. I think I do. It has been more than 20 years since I last performed on stage.
I played a nagging wife here circa 1890s. My partner here died in Oct 2020 but not due to Covid. RIP to you, B.This was so blurred!I haven’t seen my co-actor here, E, for 25 years!
Theater was so much part of my high school and college life that I still dream about acting on stage. That’s why I love watching musicals and plays. The last adult musical I watched was Les Miserables, (I think), which was the Sydney production, which also performed in Singapore after their Manila run. Before that was PETA’s Rak of Aegis (the original cast) and ohhhh that was a very good one! The very last musical I watched was Repertory Philippines’ Beauty and The Beast when I watched it with the girls. The girls and I also watched one Ballet Philippines performance but I can’t remember if it was Rama and Sita (it’s the Philippines’ version of the Indian epic Ramayana–all Southeast Asian countries influenced by Hinduism have their own versions of Ramayana) or Ballet Manila’s Ibong Adarna
I wish theater will come back. I wish live concerts are back. They were my life then. Now that the girls are much older, I can bring them along with me to more stage performances. When I didn’t have kids, I vowed that I will expose my future children to the arts. Which I eventually did. Even when they were little, I brought the girls to different museums so they can be exposed to visual arts.
The girls at BenCab Museum, Baguio City 2017. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Hmmm…Maybe we could go back to Pinto Art Museum this weekend. I’ll check also some art galleries that might be open now.
Gallery 7, Pinto Art Museum 02 February 2020. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Woke up a few hours after I dozed off. I should go back to sleep but I can’t. I’m angry. Oh fuck you.
Very rough sketch. Art and photo by CallMeCreation.com
I can’t sleep. This was a selfie when Kr and I were working at Greenbelt 5 last week. I’m going to fix this later but this shall remain faceless because I still can’t draw faces. I need more Domestika courses.
UPDATE: Added details and lines
Added details. Art and photo by CallMeCreation.com
I’m hurting now because I had to excavate my chest again to talk about him with my shrink. Why it’s taking so long to get over this? Why am I the only one suffering and always on the losing end? He doesn’t even deserve half of me.
U.S., Europe ban on Russian products and delayed Iran nuclear talks spark fears
A friend posted on Instagram the cost of filling up his SUV. It’s more than PHP 3,000 = the cost of a new tire. Another friend posted that Grab Car costs PHP 500 from Mandaluyong to QC.
It’s really getting out of hand. By tomorrow, gas would increase by at least PHP 5 a liter. It’s going to be a nightmare for basic goods and services.
When Nikkei dropped this morning, I was able to buy ETFs in a momentary dip and it climbed back up before the market closed. Good for my portfolio, bad for the rest of the country overall.
I would be attending a webinar tomorrow by another global investment bank about this Ukraine crisis and how it is affecting ASEAN. At the same time, I have a regional conference to attend tomorrow until Friday and I’m still figuring it out how to split myself into three persons since I also have a press conference on Wednesday and a couple of deadlines.
I was craving for fish. And sushi. So I made some for our dinner.
I finally bought again a bamboo rolling mat. Photo by CallMeCreation.comMaguro sashimi. I bought frozen tuna from SaveMore last week. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
I made a dip with soy sauce and roasted ginger and wasabe. Mmmmmmmm 🥰 I seared the surface of the tuna on a hot pan but it’s still raw inside.
For those who did not like raw tuna, I made Spam-egg rice rolls.
Now I ran out of ingredients to make gimbap/maki on a whim. I always must have these ingredients on hand if I suddenly craved for such. I also have on my Lazada cart dashi powder and I’m still searching for bonito flakes so I can make other Japanese dishes. I still have a tub of soybean paste for soups.
Kimchi keeping me from working this morning. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
So my cats wouldn’t want me to work. This morning Kimchi kept me from opening my notebooks and I was about to lead a meeting in a few minutes after this photo was taken. Such an obnoxious cat.
All they want to do is hang out with Mommy. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
They just want my attention. 😂 Just like the girls.
Spoke with my shrink an hour ago or so and I related the latest hiccup in my psychotherapy (i.e. the painting and the subsequent anxiety attack that ensued). She said she is keeping the current dosage of my alprazolam because she is unsure whether another similar incident would occur in the very near future that could send me into a tizzy and derail my recovery. I told her about my propensity for buying stuff to make me feel better. She said it’s ok as long as it’s under control. When she says “under control”, it’s relative to how bipolar people spend—when they’re in their mania stage (very happy), they would spend so much that they would run their credit card to the maximum credit limit. In my case, it’s the opposite; I soothe my hurt feelings (very down on serotonin) to boost my morale and I’m not spending much vis a vis my income.
She says just continue with my art therapy and always have my support system so when I get derailed I won’t sink. She also said she is validating my feelings towards the incident and I have a very good reason for feeling that way. She said it is very understandable. And she says it’s very strange that after 14 months he sends something like that when I am already trying to live my own life so it’s hard to gauge what the intention was/is. Hence, she is keeping the same dosage for my meds because the situation is unpredictable and we wouldn’t know if I would have another anxiety attack if I get triggered again for some reason. She also recommended that I go out regularly to distract me and have a healthy relationship with society.
Probably I’ll go out on Thursday or Friday and work in some coffee shop under the trees. There used to be a coffee shop at Vargas Museum in UP where I worked from time to time. Or I’ll book a diving session at Dive Plunge Club to release energy.
Gas is very expensive. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
This is a horror story all too real. I feel bad for the jeep, taxi, Grab and all delivery guys out there who are very reliant on gas for their livelihood. The middle class is already hurting too but it’s the little guys who are bleeding right now.
Aside from food costs, some bourgeoisie concerns are hitting me right now. The price of cat little went up by PHP 50 per 10 L so it’s now PHP 300. It’s a 17% increase. Cat food (Special Cat by Monge) rose by I think PHP 10-20 per kg. Earlier I was thinking of going to Cartimar Pet Center in Pasay to get wholesale prices but I decided against it because it is 12 km away from my house. But now that the prices have shot up, I think going to Pasay is going to be worth it in the end.
I think I’m going to be shocked by the prices of veggies on Tuesday when I go to UP to buy our weekly supply.
Yes, I bought a new laser pointer to drive the cats crazy again. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Having pets is expensive and it’s a life-long commitment. You don’t get a dog or a cat just because—and then give it away or resell it because you’re moving away or you grew tired of them. That’s just too cruel. The pets bond with you. These cats look to me as their mommy (a hairless mommy cat) and being abandoned by a second time would truly break their hearts. Last night Kimchi was waiting for us by the window when we arrived from Makati.
Their scratching post that I just repaired tonight. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
It’s like being a parent to real kids. You provide them with a stimulating environment so they can thrive. That’s the reason why I don’t want to get a dog in the city. I want my dogs to roam around freely in my yard and they can run whenever they want. When I still lived in my hometown, it was not a problem since they had like 200 sqm of front and backyard all to themselves. Vets are plenty since the College of Veterinary Medicine is just right there. The dean was my friend’s mom so getting treatment at the vet hospital was not difficult. I had a number of vet friends that I can call for pet medical emergencies.
When I was about to submit my application to UP, my dad urged me to consider taking vetmed since I had a menagerie and he thought it’s where my interests lie. I briefly thought about it but I could not imagine dealing with animals day in and day out vs writing and chasing stories 24/7. I chose the latter. Plus I don’t like organic chemistry and there was no way I can avoid it when I take vetmed. If it’s any consolation, my mom also struggled with organic chemistry in her undergrad years. She took it twice. I aced my general chemistry during my undergrad but anything beyond that did not make sense to me. That’s why I struggled with some parts of limnology when we got to the part of hydrogen sulfide toxicity levels and fish kills because I couldn’t map out properly the chemical reactions especially in aquaculture-heavy bodies of water where the rate of eutrophication is high. I understand the concept but when we go to the nitty-gritty of it…hah! Computing for dissolved oxygen at the bottom of Taal Lake was a nightmare for me in one particular exam where I failed.
Anyway, I digressed.
I’m finding ways now how to reduce the sodium content of my cats’ food so I tried buying chicken necks and boiled them for the cats. The two critters just sniffed at it and trotted off. They like fried fish though. Our Manila reporter’s dog had surgery last week because of kidney stones. Some vet friends said some pet foods have high sodium content so sometimes it helps if we vary the food of our pets.
Ms Butingting strikes again.
I thought the bluetooth hardware of this old gaming laptop was a goner. I searched for solutions on the interwebs and experimented with some software updates…in the process I lost connection for my dual screen monitors…IN THE END IT PAID OFF. I have my Bluetooth connection back. And the monitors back as well. I was afraid I would have to open the laptop and search if there was a physical disconnection somewhere. 😰 Whew! I was able to solve it. No need to rush having a new desktop computer assembled when we have semiconductor supply issues now.
While I was driving to and from Tiendesitas this afternoon and evening, I was thinking that I really don’t have to enroll/take reviews to get a CIIA if I’m not too keen on shifting industries. I would just make myself miserable just because I want to be busy to recover from a heartbreak. I could just enroll in art classes and go back to photography to distract myself. My colleague-friend said she took CFA exams because she figured she can’t be a journalist forever if she wants to stay in Singapore and not go back home to HK (because there’s really nothing to go back home to there now) and it was a good way to be productive to recover from Jaded.
Meanwhile, I could just become a communications consultant while immersing myself again in the academe—if needed—since I know this industry like the back of my hand. I already have some kind of expertise in it now and at this age, I cannot be a half-baked something. Like a Jill-of-all-trades, master of nothing.
My older sister just had a short course with a known local visual artist and there you go—she was able to mount an exhibit in 2018. She didn’t change careers (she’s still an economist with a PhD in a related niche industry) but going into visual arts provided her some kind of extension of her personality. I could just do that.
I could do pottery classes. I liked Ugu Bigyan’s ceramics when I first visited his place in 2000. I think it’s one art form that could reduce me to tears if I try to learn it.
I’ll just dabble in different art forms to keep me busy. I’ll just try to be Rajiv Surendra and try my hand at everything that looks interesting. Then build an art studio/workshop at my backyard when we finally settle into my hometown.
Yeah, I don’t have to take CIIA just because it sounds cool. I didn’t care for titles anyway.
