So my all-around mechanic sent me photos of how my car looks right now. They said the body needs some scuffing before applying primer and buffing.
They evened out the dents and scratches with body fillers. Hopefully in the next few days there would be no thunderstorm so I can have my car ASAP. I’m already dying inside.
Meanwhile, I found myself finishing work earlier than usual that I decided to go to the salon and have a hair treatment. I think I won’t have any time next week before the event at the central bank so better do it now.
Went to the salon I had been going to for the last 10 years. ON foot. Under the rain. Yes, I cannot emphasize this enough that I don’t have a car, just like an alcoholic would go on and on about not having anything else to drink
Mirror selfie. Yeah, I’m alright.
So this would be my look for next week. I look decent enough for the executives I would be chasing all around either at the Metropolitan Art Museum or at Fort San Antonio Abad.
I figured I’ll just take LRT2 and then LRT1 and disembark at Vito Cruz then take a taxi from there to Hotel Jen and work from there from noon until I need to go to the central bank.
Please don’t rain!!!
I had been going to this event since 2007 so I know what to expect. I once went there wearing high heeled shoes so I ended the night with a lot of blisters. 👠 I will never torture my feet again like that. 👗👛💄
I no longer know what to do without a car. This is like having withdrawal symptoms. I am now making memes for the amusement of my kids.
I need the car next week because I need to meet a general partner and an investment banker. I couldn’t commit to a date because I don’t want to go to Makati from QC via Grab because it will kill my wallet.
I’m still figuring out how I will get to Hotel Jen for the central bank event without catching Covid again.
The weekend is almost here again. Funny how days pass by so quickly now compared to last year when everything seemed to drag and torture me. The difference in mindset makes a lot of difference in how I see things now.
I’m loving life right now. ❤️
Even though I’m going insane without a car and I couldn’t go anywhere. 🤣
I got lazy and didn’t go to the vax center for the Covid booster. Because it rained. Hard to get a taxi.
Then my 2-3 pm interview with a Singapore telemed startup got cancelled because the founder had a personal emergency. Another rescheduling issue on my plate.
Spent the rest of the day closing the loop for the contract of my new/old hire and finally it got signed by him and a director from our HK office. I don’t want to deal with London office for a while, if I could.
I didn’t know where my day went because I barely left my seat. It was exhausting. Just as I thought my day already ended, my Outlook’s alarm went off, reminding me I still had an MS Teams call with London people 🙄 I didn’t have time to cook myself a proper meal so I had this:
Noodles with spicy fish cake. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
While I was having my late dinner, Twin I was torturing Kimchi.
Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Half of my cats’ day is spent sleeping and the other half is spent trying to avoid the girls 😂.
A lot of people are reacting to my profile picture change, which is unnerving. One friend said, hey you got a love life? I said yes, with Park Seo-Joon but he doesn’t know it. 🤣 But kidding aside, this is just me saying I am just one session away from graduating from psychotherapy.
I’m supposed to take my antidepressant until August only. I think I’m on track. And my shrink will let me go after that.
I changed photos today because I’m no longer grieving. My old profile photo was taken right after I had my hair chopped off a few days after the breakup. That photo was an act of defiance but it still reflected my grief.
This new photo is like a graduation photo; I now have a genuine smile. I’m growing my hair back. I will wear it longer. I have more crow’s feet but I’m wearing it as a badge of honor.
I am truly moving on.
Why do we hold on? I learned that we couldn’t move on because we believe what we had before was the best we could ever have. We don’t let go. We become prisoners of what we had, of the past, because we believed that it was best thing and would not be able to have it again.
But once we realize that there’s something better for us after the dust has settled, we easily can let go.
That’s what happened to me. I realized that while I was dancing in my room to my Spotify tunes that I had been constricted for a long time when I was with J. I conformed and molded myself to his liking. To make him happy and accept me. But in doing so I killed a part of me.
And in the end he didn’t even accept the whole of me.
Now that I’m free, in the truest sense, I realized I missed this crazy part of me. I missed the artist in me. I missed singing. I missed the playful me who goes into escapades because I can.
I am now a better version of me, a happier me that he will never see.
That better version of me that somebody else would be able to appreciate one day.
So we went to UP riding our bikes to buy vegetables. We are now on stage One Entire Week of Being Carless.
Water break. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Everything was going well even though we went out at almost noon, so there was danger that we will get fried.
Got two bags of veggies for only PHP 680. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
We went to Nomu, the milktea place beside Bahay ng Alumni.
When we were waiting for our teas, I heard a loud “pop!” And that sickening hissing sound.
A flat tire. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
The stupid thing here was I took the longer route going to the UP gate near Krus na Ligas. I told the girls to bike their way into Science while I walk with my bike and then we’ll just meet at the corner where we used to turn right going into Science.
While waiting for the girls. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
I guess I was bad at giving them directions so we spent the better part of that hour trying to find each other. After several video calls, they finally located me at that corner where they were supposed to meet me.
When we finally agreed how to proceed, I let the girls bike to the Krus na Ligas exit while I walked again.
Long story short, the guy at the bike shop along CP Garcia Ave fixed my tire by changing the interior and said that I had a busted tire pin. Good thing I had extra money then to buy a new tire interior.
Then off we rode our bikes back home. Got home after four freaking hours.
Gee, I am so tired.
I need to buy more wicking running shirts from Decathlon if I am to do this again regularly.
I PROMISE I WILL EXERCISE MORE SO I WOULD NO LONGER BE FAT.
There’s a Cebu Pacific seat sale (PHP 88 base fare) going anywhere but for travel in February to May 2023. It’s hard to buy tickets that advanced; you’ll never know what will happen in the next month or so. I mean ever since Covid, it’s hard to plan life very far ahead.
I want to go to Siargao and Bohol again. Then if I have enough time, I will go to Palawan.
It’s hard to shoehorn holidays like that because I may have to travel to Singapore in August and November. I’m scheduled to leave next month as well.
May have to go to Bangkok in between.
But right now all I want is to be near the sea. I sleep well when I hear the waves crashing against the shore or rocks. It’s some kind of lullaby. For others, the sea may be terrifying but it has only been kind to me. It has always been a comfort to me.
Bantyan island, Cebu. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
I have shared my love for the sea with my children. I’ve also shared it with him.
Someday, I will share it with somebody who will equally love it the way I do. My kids know that when I die, they will cremate me and scatter my ashes into the sea. We’ve often spoken about that.
I remember occupying a slot at the press room at the Tektite building where the second trading floor of the Philippine Stock Exchange was located. I was one of the last batch of reporters who covered the local bourse when it had two trading floors due to some idiosyncrasies of this market. Ours is one of the oldest but it still remains small and illiquid.
I remember the beauty of being on the trading floor, or above the trading floor, when the world was shifting. The most poignant of all was when I was writing my stock exchange stories and all the counters were blinking red during the market meltdown of 2008. The brokers were on the edge of their seats and their landline phones were ringing non-stop. The energy of the trading floor was something to remember.
Now it’s all a memory. Everything is online.
The last time that I will have a photo against the trading board. Taken in 2017.
Speaking of financial institutions, I received an invite to the annual event at the central bank where all the local business’ heavy-weights will converge. I still don’t have a car by then so I booked a room at Shangri-la Hotel Jen so I will just walk to the venue and back to the hotel. The cost of my Grab from Quezon City to Manila and to Quezon City (if I manage to book a ride) would be equal to my hotel reservation. Because it will be on a Friday evening and the chance of rain is high.
Now I need to buy a new dress.
The girls and I went to the mini supermarket 200 meters away from the apartment this evening because I have no car. I had to make do with the limited choices we have there and just grin and bear it.
Just snacks and drinks. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
I just ordered and have my meat delivered at home by Monterey and as for the vegetables, the girls and I would ride our bikes to UP for that tomorrow if it doesn’t rain.
My girls got prize money from their grandma for earning an average above 90 (which was already equivalent to an honors’ grade in other schools; their school doesn’t rank kids). Twin I bought the roller skates that she has been dying to have for two years.
She has been falling on her butt all day. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
While Twin A finally bought the Royal Kludge hotswappable mechanical keyboard and Logitech Pebble mouse for her games.
Tadahhh! She finally bought it. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Even if I can afford to buy it for them, I didn’t and resisted for as long as I can. They had to earn these. Either through doing their chores or by working on their grades.
This morning they had their diagnostic exam for their high school review and they were sad that they weren’t able to answer a lot of Math questions because they said these weren’t taught to them yet. I said it’s ok because it was just the review center’s way of knowing where to level off with their students. Eventually the review center’s teachers will show them how to solve these Math problems.
They will be starting their review classes on Monday.
Aha! The school season is starting.
I have finally transformed into a cat.
To cap the workweek, my girls have spent the evening fooling around. They taught me the sticker function of my new phone. 😂
ALL IS WELL, ALL IS WELL, as my friend taught me to say.
Do me a favor, this friend said. “Don’t let memories get you down. Be happy.”
My friends have lifted me up through all my struggles ever since I got broken.
All my drawings had been sad and lonely. But all will be well. All is well.
I’ll try to put a smile on my face everyday. Chase the cobwebs away. Have my friends chat with me online. One of these days I will fly to Europe and see a bigger world since my girls are already grown up and I can be away for two weeks. Stop first at our London HQ then jump to Edinburgh as I had always wanted to visit William Wallace’s country.
All is well, all is well.
There is always something to smile about everyday. Love myself everyday.
