No long weekend 😑

Well, the Lunar New Year fell on a Sunday and the government neglected to declare a non-working holiday… so we had to leave for Manila during lunch time today.

I went out to buy my handmade shampoo bar and dishwashing liquid from the local weekend market. I also bought brunch for me and my twins… Not happy with our food 🙄 I should have stuck with the artisanal breads.

Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Photo by CallMeCreation.com

I also bought vegetables to bring with me to QC because I knew I wouldn’t have any time to spare to shop for veggies when I get home.

Photo by CallMeCreation.com

By the time we left my mom’s house, the traffic jam was already bad near the hot spring resort areas. This is a sign of what is to come this summer. 🤦‍♀️

Right now, I’m already racking my brain regarding the logistics of moving houses. I will be leaving mid-May and that is the height of traffic jams in this part of the world. I have to do the major move on a week day. If I do it on a weekend, my cargo truck will be stuck on the road for 5 hrs.

Sign of things to come. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

We went straight to Mitsukoshi in BGC to check out what’s there. Our main destination is Kinokuniya.

Checking out the manga on display. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

The girls got excited by the large selection of manga in Japanese and English.

I think their selection of manga and the number of aisles devoted to it is larger here than in Kinokuniya at Takashimaya in Singapore. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

My girls were crestfallen when they saw the price of each manga volume. 😁 So they’re just going to stick readinmg manga online.

As for the stationery… 🥱 That was a big disappointment. It was just the usual Fullybooked fare. I wish Loft or Maruzen would open a branch here.

But I did find a few stationery items outside Kinokuniya x Fullybooked, like Sailor fountain pens and other ink brands. They also carry Travelers Notebook refills but not the leather notebook covers. No Hobonichi as well.

Fountain pen inks. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

We checked the accessories section and got stuck there. Well, the girls got stuck because they were overwhelmed with the earrings choices.

The girls choosing their earrings carefully. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Photo by CallMeCreation.com

In the end it was only Twin I who bought earrings with her money in her Maya account. Twin A decided to save her money to prepare for the February Fair in my university hometown because they will be hanging out with their review center friends.

I finally found this umbrella brand. Wohoo! Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Photo by CallMeCreation.com

I bought my first Waterfront umbrella in Asakusa, Tokyo and I never took it out of my handbags. My current umbrella is almost six years old and is still going strong. It’s small, very lightweight, and yet sturdy. Perfect for sudden rainshowers in the city or when I travel abroad.

I didn’t find Prior by Shiseido in the cosmetics area. *sigh* I can’t even find it online.

We tried the food court but our choice was not a good one (Tenya) and we were not happy… again.

Cheese!

To make up for our disappointment in food and stationery, we went to Fresh, Mitsukoshi’s supermarket.

This time, we were satisfied with what we saw. And bought.

Photo by CallMeCreation.com

I finally was able to buy: light miso paste (a whole bag weighing 800g!) for less than PhP 200, dashi, bonito flakes, green tea powder, cooking sake, tsuyu for cold soba, and Japanese ramen that are cheaper than what are sold in SM and online.

And beer.

Beer! Photo by CallMeCreation.com

I wanted to buy one for each variant but it will be too heavy to carry to the car.

Because, why not? Photo by CallMeCreation.com

Next time I drop by here, I will take home with me the canned goods and seasonings ❤️ Mitsukoshi Manila is still on soft opening and only a few vendors and brands are still being carried. The food court is not yet SG Takashimaya-level in terms of choices but there is potential given that the department store itself is huge and it has sprawling gross floor space, unlike in Mitsukoshi Taipei where everything is crammed into small shelves, sacrificing the presentation of the merchadise. I don’t remember entering a Mitsukoshi in Tokyo so I can’t compare.

I’ll be cooking Japanese this week. 😁

Trying to get out of that funk

The UCC coffee I had last night kept me up until 5 am today. I was so groggy the entire day.

So for tiny house updates, my contractor told me the Meralco guys will be coming to install power lines next week. I need to apply for a water line next Friday.

Mommy, why is our bathroom fancy? Well, darling, those are tiles from Spain, which mimic microcement or slate. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
I told Twin I that it would be fancier once the lavatory and fixtures are installed and the artwork are hung. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Overhead lighting in the girls’ room. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Sanding down what was a very red wooden floor. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
The newly varnished bedroom door. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
The cabinets are up. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
The Kohler moveable kitchen faucet to make life easier for my dishwashers 😂 Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Cutlery drawer. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Condo-sized but I’m making up for it by using durable materials and fixtures. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Outdoor lighting. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Another outdoor lighting. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

I went out to meet with my BFFs for coffee and bakery goods at Wildbreads this afternoon. Had a good laugh for 3 hrs but we had to break up before dinner because, you know, weekends are for errands 🤷🏻‍♀️. My bestfriend T and I both suffered from anxiety and low serotonin this past few days. We both hate our admin work but that’s part of what we got appointed for. I told her about the other issues that I’m struggling with, which I don’t know how to deal with right now.

Photo by CallMeCreation.com

Maybe, it’s the season. I scanned blog entries from last year and I could see a pattern.

But it’s good to see friends and laugh our butts off.

Meanwhile, Ate C sent us this pic of our cats waiting for us. Awwwww. 😢

Kimchi and Sushi waiting for us to come home.

I need a little trip

Kimchi waiting for me to come home from my mommy errand this morning. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

We will be driving tonight to my hometown. I need a change of scenery to ground me and to chase the blues away. To see my BFFs to cheer me up. Perhaps take a little hike to the forested upper campus. I need to let go of things that I cannot control.

I decided to cook hotpot today.

Lots and lots of different mushrooms that I bought from Sarang Mart, meat, tofu and dumplings. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Just letting the main ingredients boil first. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

I really need to shake this bad vibes off and clear away the cobwebs. I don’t know what else I should be doing to lift the dark clouds over my head.

A few hours later…

Photo by Twin A.

Remind me to leave much, much later on a Friday night. 🫠

It’s not better

It didn’t get better today.

I was just relieved that the piece that I had labored over for two weeks is finally published.

Pressure is still mounting within me. Stress is eating me alive.

My bosses didn’t approve my trip to Singapore next month. They said I just conduct interviews via Zoom.

That didn’t sit with me well (which is an understatement). I’ve hired via WhatsApp and Zoom and they turned out to be flukes. They’re no longer with the company. And to think I had lost my mind training them and was dragged through compliance and legal issues because they were not the journalists they claimed to be. The problem is I didn’t get a good “feel” of the candidates when I was in the process of hiring them. Well, I wasn’t the main decision-maker; I was just a deputy at that time. How can I poach with this kind of arrangement?!

When my company was hiring me almost 9 years ago, the APAC boss flew all the way from Hong Kong to talk to me at Podium in Ortigas. She took time to understand where I was and what my expectations were. I felt that I was given importance. That made a lot of difference.

I felt feel so blue today. Retaining a headhunter was out of the question because London didn’t retain any. A new approval from London is needed and it would take forever. Like forever. I told my boss that doing this by myself with no help from London and from HR will eat up 90% of my time and I cannot edit and chase stories. I would have to let things slide at a time when we are super undermanned. Which hurts me so much.

I am just so angry and sad.

At Wilcon Home Depot. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

I decided to go out of the house and drive to Wilcon Home Depot along C5 to exchange my extra curtain rod and toilet paper holder with a wall fan that I will have installed in my bedroom in my new home. A little bit of fresh air made me feel a little bit human again instead of being a ball of angry nerves.

Then when I opened my “newspaper” tonight, I saw this. You know, when America sneezes, the world gets chills.

To express my sadness, I resorted to painting bookmarks again.

Art and photo by CallMeCreation.com

It’s one of those days

Hiding in a corner. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

It’s just one of those days when I just want to rock back and forth and hug myself. Things are not ok and I don’t want pretend that I’m fine by masking how I feel.

As my bosses said, don’t carry the weight of the world on your shoulders. Drop everything and just concentrate on one task.

I’m not fine. I’m overwhelmed.

I’m not fine. I’m tired.

I’m not fine, I’m sad. I feel alone.

Art and photo by CallMeCreation.com

Maybe tomorrow will be better. Maybe I will get some answers. Maybe I just need some assurance that it will be all right.

I’m not broken yet.

Art and photo by CallMeCreation.com

Art and photo by CallMeCreation.com
Art and photo by CallMeCreation.com

Discontent brews

Another bookmark in the works. Art and photo by CallMeCreation.com

I just got off from Microsoft Teams after chatting with my colleague in Japan for more than an hour about our colleague (L) who just resigned. You see, I held a farewell call for her during our team’s weekly call. Then after that I sent an email to APAC editorial mailing list about the Kudoboard for her, announcing her resignation.

Anyway, my MS Teams chat went from one topic to another and my colleague (N) was ranting about xxx and yyyy. He threatened to leave and told my manager about in February 2022. His former manager, M, who left us in March last year for some consulting firm, told him to stay in journalism. He said he sensed M misses journalism. M told him that in hindsight, her years with our company wasn’t so bad at all compared to her current company now where she is managing director.

It was a matter of the grass is always greener on the other side, I guess.

I told N that I also feel that discontent sometimes when I feel like the company is being unfair to me. L and I had been chatting as well and she was sending me names of companies that are hiring. I was looking at the job descriptions and nothing excited me. She said, maybe you would like to try something new. I said, I think I’m happy with journalism. And if I want to try something new, it would be data journalism/analytics that’s why I’m going to enroll in a training program for data analytics. Besides, none of the job openings are remote.

OMG, I didn’t realize that remote working is so important to me now, like it’s on top of my criteria. 🙀

During this chat with my Japanese colleague, N, we were talking about our angst about certain things. Then I sent him a photo of me (actually, my laptop) with a swimming pool in the background (the one I took after Christmas). He couldn’t believe I could work by the poolside or by the beach. I said whenever I feel shit about my job, I look at photos like this and tell myself that being able to work anywhere, according to my pace and comfort level, is something I cannot quantify yet. That flexibility as a single parent is very important, I just realized. Being able to turn off my Outlook or ignore it during the weekends is critical that most of us take for granted.

Even though being a journalist means you are always “on”, I can still afford to tune out when I need to.

Being at home to see my children and cook for them is precious. My kids always drag me out of my room to have proper meals with them at the table. It’s important to them.

L told me to just go through interviews, just to see what’s out there and how I compare against industry. Yes, she makes sense. But deep inside I feel it’s too exhausting and would just be wasting my time doing all that when I’m not ready to jump yet. I would know if a job description will click within me.

N said, you are doing good. You are where you’re supposed to be.

I don’t know how to turn off the confusion sown inside my chest. I don’t know how to quiet it down.

I don’t know. This disquiet is fueled by this desire to earn more so maybe if the company grants me the 8-point agenda I sent my bosses, maybe the noise will die down?

Twin A’s bookmark artwork. ❤️ Photo by CallMeCreation.com

This morning my thought was “If only I could just continue creating like draw/paint and make things with my hands, maybe I won’t be having this anxiety every Monday morning…”

Again, I don’t know where or how to reach that happy compromise.