PASH

Pseudoangiomatous Stromal Hyperplasia (PASH). That’s what my cousin had, not cysts. She has been recovering at home for four days now after her surgery. She had them removed because one of them had been growing and it started to hurt. She just removed her binders but it still hurt, she said.

out of order text on persons belly
Photo by Kat Smith on Pexels.com

I think at some point I got it when I was in college or right after college. It was quite a scare because my gynecologist had to refer me to an oncologist just to be sure but her initial findings told me these were lesions caused by hormones. I no longer remember what tests I had because I ejected them from my memory since it was quite a tense episode. The oncologist concurred that the lumps were lesions and were likely to disappear with my menstrual cycle—as my gynecologist had initially told me.

I never had a normal cycle and until now my hormones are often off. I have PCOS and it was already a miracle that I even got pregnant. Ah well, I had to go through hormone therapy just to have my girls. I always tell them that they were chosen because I had to work with my doctor to have them—my way of telling them that I already wanted them even before they came. (So girls, if you are already reading this because I’m already in the great beyond, know the difficulties I had gone through just to have you).

“Women with PCOS are twice as likely as women without the condition to deliver their baby prematurely. They’re also at greater risk for miscarriage, high blood pressure, and gestational diabetes (19).”

Healthline

There you go. Having twins raises the probability of premature birth, but having PCOS almost made it a certainty. I bled twice while I was pregnant and I had to work from home eventually at 5 mos because my doctor said I will lose the twins if I didn’t stop traveling. I had to take a pill to keep the girls and stop bleeding. She even told me to not climb the stairs. But what can I do? My ex-husband was cruel; he didn’t want to help with the chores to the point we had a fight and he threatened to leave the house. We didn’t have a maid at that time and imagine this: I was heavily pregnant and I was still mopping the floor. I decided to go home to my mom and spend the last trimester with her so I will be well fed (and didn’t have to order fastfood because I was too tired to cook), I didn’t have to clean, and I would be nearer the hospital and my OB.

Anyway, fast-forward, even if my sex life had been a desert after having the girls and after J lost interest in me 6 mos before we broke up, I still had to take birth control pills because if I didn’t, I wouldn’t have my period for six months or more. That happened when I was in high school and college and that time when I finally had my period after several months without having any, my body was racked with pain that I had to be confined to my bed. I bled like a pig while I was curled up and cried myself to sleep because 500mg of mefanemic acid sometimes couldn’t relieve the pain. After getting pregnant and giving birth, my dysmenorrhea became tolerable but hormonal changes are still wild that’s why I always felt sick (my headaches were enough to crack my skull) during my periods.

That’s why I have high tolerance for pain. All my life I had been in pain physically and emotionally.

Another reason why I couldn’t lose weight is because of insulin resistance due to PCOS. It doesn’t help that diabetes runs in the family.

Hence, I must continue with my workouts even if my body doesn’t want to cooperate.

The 1.5 min planking caused my heart rate to spike.
Bought new moisture-wicking shirts for my walks/indoor workouts. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

When we were in Tiendesitas yesterday, we stopped by Decathlon to buy myself a new pair of dumb bells and moisture-wicking shirts. To motivate me to continue with my workouts. I can’t stop now—once I have diabetes, my days are numbered.

Weekends were created for errands

Sigh. I wished I could have just lounged all day yesterday after that tiring Friday night. But no, I have four children to feed 🫀

Sauteed string beans in oyster sauce and sambal. I made another version without the sambal for the girls. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Chicken Inasal. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

And I picked up after myself. 😬 I just threw my stuff on the floor after arriving from BSP on Friday. Good thing the cats didn’t scratch my Kate Spade evening bag because at this point I cannot afford to buy a Kate Spade. Or any bag. Or anything frivolous. I need to finish my house first.

Heavy traffic on a Saturday night. Why??? Photo by CallMeCreation.com

We drove to Tiendesitas to buy cat supplies and boy oh boy, inflation really bites. But I love my critters so…

Wet food for my Demolition Twins 2.0. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

Consistent with the theme of feeding my children, we shopped for groceries in SM Hypermarket that is just next door. My receipt is double my normal 😒 And that doesn’t include pork yet and vegetables, which I will buy from my usual vege seller in UP today.

Speaking of UP, we went there to feed strays. The leftover chicken inasal and kibbles that my spoiled kitties no longer wanted. We still have enough to go around for today when I shop for veggies and do my walking exercise.

Maybe, maybe I’ll just stay in bed all day πŸ€”

Or maybe not. πŸ‘

So it starts

Just like during Marcos Sr’s martial law. This has a chilling effect on us in the industry–except of course this doesn’t affect media workers who are Marcos supporters. 🀬 Asshats!

My mom always reminds me to be careful and keep safe. She lived through the killings of the first Marcos era. Now I’m living it now.

I no longer know what’s or who’s next. πŸ˜”

We’re so fucked.


While we were in the boat going to the spot where I can dive last Sunday, Twin A accidentally dipped her sling bag that contains her mobile phone into the water. She wanted to take pictures, she said. It got wet and she kept on turning the phone on and off. Expect that some short circuiting will ensue.

They would be going to Cebu by the end of the month so I need them to be accessible via phone ALL THE TIME because I do not trust their dad. I had to have that phone fixed.

I went to Greenhills yesterday to have the LCD replaced.

Painful to watch. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
This is how a wet LCD panel looks like. It still has some salt deposits on it. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

It hurt my wallet. PHP 2,000, including a screen protector.

I will have that kid hung upside down to teach her a lesson.

Super driver

We stayed behind this morning at the resort so the girls can attend school online while I can have my weekly call with my team and edit some stories. We left at around 12 noon and I decided to have lunch at Twin Lakes Tagaytay because I was hungry.

Taal Volcano. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Lunch at Mary Grace. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

It was windy and the temperature was much lower there. We stayed there for an hour I guess…

And Waze told me to take the Talisay-Tanauan road so it seemed like I took a Taal Loop road trip. The views from Talisay are as pretty, if not prettier than in Tagaytay. The volcano island is much closer to Talisay so you can see how desolate that place is.

From Tanauan, I drove through Sto. Tomas and then Bay, Laguna. We took the MakBan Geothermal route.

Steam from the Mak-Ban Geothermal Power Plant.

Those pipes transport the steam and it runs for several kilometers.

We arrived at my home town after 4 hrs (4:20 pm) because we stopped in Tagaytay for an hour or so. I signed another check to my contractor and looked at the construction progress.

Large windows. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
More large windows. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
I was told I will have a giant door. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

So far so good. ❀️ I think my father would have been proud of me.

But I think he would have meddled with the construction, just like when he messed around with his brother’s (who is an architect) design. 🀣 Our house turned out differently… And my uncle told me when he first stepped into our house after we moved in, he scratched his head and said, ummm this is not how I drew it. 😱 Since he was 8 years younger than my father, he just didn’t raise an issue and kept his mouth shut forever.

So after my father died and my mom decided to renovate the house to change the layout, my uncle redrew the plans and he put everything to its original position 🀣

After I finished editing the last article for the day, the girls and I went out to have dinner with my sister-in-law and nephew.

With Kuya P. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

We left at 9:30 pm and it took me only 1.5 hrs. to reach the apartment via Skyway 3.

Basicall, I’ve been driving for most of the day. πŸ˜‘

Cysts

My cousin told us today that she will undergo mastectomy soon to remove cysts in her breast that are thankfully benign but they’re growing (???). She also felt that her menstrual period has shortened and wildly irregular so that’s the next thing that she should be focusing on, she said.

We’re the same age but she’s a few months older than me. She’s single while I already have kids…I don’t know if that makes any difference.

This reminds me that I should pay attention now to my body, aside from the exercise part. Meaning I should have my executive check up soon. I will be asking for a time off on my birthday week to visit my gynecologist (in my hometown; she had been my doctor since college) and I will also request her for a cardiologist referral and for an executive check up. I haven’t done anything yet to address my high triglycerides, LDL, and uric acid (i.e. meds to keep them low). I need to know if I had any clots after my serious bout with Covid last year because what was worrisome with my experience was that I had long haul Covid symptoms.

In the meantime, I need to keep going with my exercises so I will not end up as a blimp again.

I had to content myself with indoor workout because it rained. At least I burned 240 kcal today and I was not just sedentary.

Working at my desk (checking emails and replying to them) while in workout clothes πŸ˜‚

I had to use my screen and webcam to monitor my dumb bell exercises because I don’t have a full-length mirror in my room. The form is more important than the speed of the curls and lifts so I need to keep my shoulders straight, arms tight/clipped. You can only do that if you see your reflection so you can correct your wrong posture or form. We used to do some weights when I was still playing football. We also did aerobics to improve our footwork.

As I said before, I intend to live beyond 42 years old so I need to be disciplined about this. My children cannot rely on their dad for anything if I die early.

Speaking of which, I got incensed today because of his hare-brained idea to drive the girls from his province to Manila via my old small car. I mean that’s nuts. I doubt its reliability on long trips like that (800 km++) because he does not maintain cars well. The original plan was just I would let the girls stay with their paternal side in Shangri-la Mactan, Cebu (the girls’ airfare paid for by his siblings) then they would come back to Manila after four days. But noooo, he didn’t even tell me that they are going to be whisked away from Cebu to his province to stay longer for Todos los Santos/Dia de los muertos (All Saints’ Day/All Souls’ Day). However, only the airfare from Cebu to their province will be paid for by his siblings and since he doesn’t have money, he can only drive back to Manila with them.

That’s 48 freaking hours. In bad monsoon/typhoon season.

He doesn’t even think about the safety and comfort of his own children 🀬

Yeah, we used to drive from Manila to their province for Christmas when the girls were smaller but we had stops and spent the night in Legaspi or Naga plus we took turns in driving. But the experience was always exhausting because the ferry that shipped us and the car from Sorsogon to Samar (vice-versa) was ALWAYS delayed by 6-12 hours because of scarcity of trips or bad weather. And we drove using my big car.

And if we go by what Twin I has been reporting to me about the condition of my kei car when they get fetched by their dad, I highly doubt if they will not break down along the highway. We’re talking about very rural highways. The last time they were with their dad, she said there was no airconditioning. 😀 I could no longer get mad because it’s already beyond my control. I painstakingly took care of that car when it was my daily ride because it was so convenient to find parking space for it and I can easily slip in between bigger cars in really bad traffic. Plus it was economical so there is less guilt when I drive all around with just me as a passenger.

I told Twin I to tell her dad that if he doesn’t produce plane tickets from his province to Manila for the girls, I will not even drive them to NAIA for their flight to Cebu.

So he told Twin I that they will just leave Cebu and fly straight to Manila.

I talked to his youngest sister (who’s in California) on the phone this afternoon to tell her my concerns about the girls’ safety and the ridiculousness of that plan. She saw my point and agreed that they shouldn’t be doing a land trip.

I’m very sure that my BP shot through the roof when I was hyperventilating and I had palpitations when I learned about that stupid plan. So I called my mom to release my pent up fury. She said, “Well, it’s you who said that your ex-husband is more evil than your friend L’s ex-husband. So what do you expect?”

🀬

Another thing that alarmed me today was that my electricity consumption cost me PHP 1,500 more this month because of my Instant Pot use. I mean, everything was constant from last month to this month. And if you compare my consumption with last year’s, the September 2022 bill is still higher even though my fridge in Sept 2021 was still the old one that was already so inefficient.

That’s a serious bump in my consumption. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

So no, I don’t think I would be using that for simple dishes again. If I have enough lead time, I’d rather use the slow cooker. I will only use the Instant Pot if I don’t have enough time to make the meat tender. Besides, I should lay off the beef since I should consume less red meat.

Good thing I have my stress relievers…

Kimchi waiting for her wet food. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

Bracing for super typhoon

Cooked this from scratch before we lose power tonight. Then we will resort to time-saving, ready to cook marinated stuff I bought from Monterey today when shit hits the fan.

Meatballs in gravy. Secret ingredient: lots of nutmeg. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

Apprently, I haven’t been reading the weather maps well. Typhoon Karding hasn’t made landfall yet.

PAGASA and JWC had upgraded Typhoon Karding into a super typhoon after it crossed the Philippine Sea—notorious for its warm waters—that fueled its strength before landfall. It is yet to cross Metro Manila now at 2 pm but the periphery of the typhoon is already felt with the deceptively calm rain we are experiencing now.

If Signal #4 is already raised here, then Karding is about as strong as Typhoon Glenda or Milenyo, two typhoons that knocked out power in Metro Manila for at least a week. Milenyo was in 2006 when I experienced walking from the Department of Finance to my newspaper’s office because there were no public utility vehicles. There was no power anywhere and as a reporter, I still needed to file my stories whatever the circumstances. The bigger the catastrophe, the more we must work and be on the ground.

Then the unlearned still brand us as paid hacks and useless πŸ˜‘

Glenda was in 2014, when the girls were still babies. That was challenging. Right after Glenda passed, Metro Manila was freaking hot and humid—a guarantee that would send babies crying at night because it was so uncomfortable. We had to go to Araneta Center to charge our gadgets, in my case my laptop, and have some air-conditioning. Power was out for more than a week and I still had to file stories.

Twin I helping me shop for supplies. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

Twin I and I went out for our supplies run before Typhoon Karding hits us. Right now it is taking its time ravaging Quezon Province. πŸ˜”

Back to making curtains. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

I’ve also brought out my hobbies that won’t require power, like sewing curtains and sketching/painting.

I’m writing about these things so when I’m already gone, my girls will know what to do upon reading blog entries such as this.

Also posting this link to an IG reel that hit me hard. This is for my girls as well. If they feel like they are being treated like a human appliance, they should pack up and leave. They shouldn’t sink to my level; I who groveled at the feet of men who treated me badly.

So my children, if you’re reading this now that I’ve gone to the great beyond, then remember this: be always prepared before a calamity. It doesn’t hurt to be extra vigilant. If the typhoon passes without destroying Metro Manila, it’s good. Do not treat your prep work as wasted effort.

Second point: do not stay in a relationship because you are expected to. Once your partner treats you like a maid or human appliance, LEAVE! You don’t deserve to be treated like that.

That’s why I think I will end up as a cat lady. It’s only my cats who love me like this. Sushi slept on my pillows all day. We slept together this afternoon and this evening she’s at the foot of my bed, still sleeping. She doesn’t let me out of her sight. ❀️