Headed for disaster

Our new COVID-19 daily case has hit an all-time high of almost 22,500 today and yet the government will be loosening the lockdown. Even in my hometown all hospitals are already at capacity and can no longer accept patients.

We are really headed for disaster. The overpriced purchase of face shields could have been diverted to buying more remdesivir and tocilizumab for hospitals in dire need of it. The government goons decided that we are better off with granular lockdowns without proper contact tracing (Duque even admitted to Senate that the govt contact tracing app is useless) and mass testing. COVID swab tests are so expensive, even for the middle class.

Malaysia and the Philippines are in a contest now for who got it worse.


As for my girls, their fevers had gone down today and they were able to attend their online class. I had them take paracetamol when they had headaches tonight but their temperatures didn’t go beyond sinat so I wasn’t that worried. I need more data to gather before I schedule a tele-consult with a pediatrician tomorrow. I was kind of panicking at 2 am this morning when I woke up to check one of my girls and thought about having us all tested for COVID.

To cheer us up today, our books I bought from Big Bad Wolf in June finally arrived.

Photo by CallMeCreation.com

They’re enjoying Horrible Histories. I am reading that now, too. Fascinating horrible stuff.


I’m slowly recovering and was able to co-write a time-sensitive story today about Philippine Airlines’ bankruptcy. Last week was a struggle for me because I couldn’t write. Or even transcribe an interview. Meds made me lethargic and I kept on sleeping during odd hours. At least I started the week right today, despite the lack of proper sleep because I was watching over my sick girls.

Over the weekend, a high school friend invited me to join them on their Youtube talk show, which started off like a podcast about nothing in particular that ended up as an interview platform about anything under the sun. They added me because all of them are guys–most of whom were my friends from way back high school or post-college when we played in a band. They needed a female co-host to sort of balance the show. And I think they chose me because of my interviewing skills. They were drinking buddies at some point 10-20 years ago.

So my plan to do a podcast with friends has sort of come into fruition. However, instead of a just a podcast, this is a live Youtube video show that requires me to face the camera and be presentable. Anyway, a podcast or a video talk show is one of my personal goals, including keeping this blog alive (albeit private), so I have other things aside from work that I could pay attention to.

I think I will be on air by November.

Balang araw, makakalimutan din kita.

20,000

Last week we hit 22,366 and it seems like we’re just yo-yoing from 19,000 to 22,000++ with positivity rate of almost 30%. It seems like it’s just a matter of time that my household will get it. God forbid.

I’m on tenterhooks right now because both of my twins are having low-grade fevers. I’m still observing so I will have enough data to tell the doctor before I book our teleconsult. I don’t want to panic yet and book a Covid test for all of us. I checked their tonsils and both have inflamed tonsils so I’m hoping that could be the culprit and not Covid. I made them gargle Bactidol three times a day.

Two weeks ago one of them had canker sores on her tonsils after I teleconsulted their pediatrician in our hometown. She stopped with Bactidol once she felt better. I don’t know if what they have right now is the same viral infection (no sores though) or a completely new one.

Oh God, please don’t let this be Covid.

I’m just so tired and having a nasty headache now. I think my astigmatism worsened.

Shattered

Yesterday I died, tomorrow’s bleeding
Fall into your sunlight
The future’s open wide, beyond believing
To know why hope dies
And losing what was found, a world so hollow
Suspended in a compromise
But the silence of this sound is soon to follow
But somehow sundown

And finding answers is forgetting all of the
Questions we call home
Passing the graves of the unknown

As reason clouds my eyes with splendor fading
Illusions of the sunlight
A reflection of a lie will keep me waiting
with love gone for so long

And this day’s ending is the proof of time
killing all the faith I know
Knowing that faith is all I hold

And I’ve lost who I am, and I can’t understand
Why my heart is so broken, rejecting your love
Without, love gone wrong; lifeless words carry on
But I know, all i know is that the end’s beginning
Who I am from the start, take me home to my heart
Let me go and I will run, I will not be silent
All this time spent in vain; wasted years wasted gain
All is lost but hope remains and this war’s not over
There’s a light, there’s a sun taking all these shattered ones
To the place we belong, and his love will conquer all

Yesterday I died, tomorrow’s bleeding
Fall into your sunlight


Been swimming in David Hodges (including Trading Yesterday, Arrows to Athens) songs the past 48 hours. I don’t know why. I haven’t listened to him in years. Maybe because he has been very apt for the past few days.

It’s Monday again; it’s such a struggle to be productive but against all odds I was. There was a “little” mishap during today’s press conference not of my doing (never trust other people to do their jobs well) but I still managed to salvage what could be salvaged and still end up triumphant. But I ended up rushing a time-sensitive story, rushing to publish ahead of competition. I hedged an article related to this one last week, which was a good call since today could have gone another way. My 20-year experience always gets tested in situations like these.

To calm my frayed nerves. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

I had to grab one bottle of Smirnoff to calm me down after the hectic day I’ve had. I had to finish another very long article today that was already overdue while trying to rush that time-sensitive story. And my editing jobs had piled up on me from last Friday.

All I wanted was to float today.

I wanted to process so many things today but life gets in the way.

Like you know, you can’t stop the world from turning just because yours already stopped but your children’s worlds continue to move on. You cannot die even if you’re already dead because your children need to go on living. You cannot afford to be suspended in air because your children need you. You have no choice but to be strong when you just want to buckle and give in. Because you’re tired of fighting. But fight you must, for your children.

Thus is the life of a solo parent. You carry the weight of the world and that is yours alone to bear.

Rain, rain go away

So it looks like the rains will continue for the rest of the week, if the cloud system hanging over most of Luzon remains like that. Highly probable as the typhoon up north and the one forming in northeast continues to pull up the southwest monsoon.

The leaking stopped in the laundry area as my landlady’s worker cleaned the rain gutters of debris (mostly leaves from the mango tree in front of the apartment). Hard to dry clothes and bed sheets still.

Because I’m too lazy still (Metro Manila is flooded!) to go to the hardware store to buy paint and a gas regulator for my LPG tank, I busied myself this morning with experimenting with my new Linux distro, Fedora.

It’s basically the same as Ubuntu but the command line on terminal is a bit different. Instead of using # apt-get, you use # dnf (formerly # yum). Therefore, I have to master some basic command lines because I find using command lines easier when tweaking and installing drivers and programs on Linux compared to GUIs.

My girls are very comfortable using Linux, whatever distro, as I started them on this OS. That’s good since this means I don’t have to pay for expensive OS and hardware whenever Microsoft or Apple forces people to upgrade and find that their hardware cannot cope with the system requirements. And yes, I’m talking about Microsoft releasing Windows 11 this October and supporting Win 10 only until 2025. I just bought a new laptop, for crying out loud!

I was only forced to use Windows again because my company is unfriendly to non-Windows users. Even Mac people complained. I used to work exclusively on Linux and our IT guys were surprised that I was using it, the only one they encountered using it for whole of Asia Pacific. Because of this, they couldn’t help me with workarounds to specific backend problems. Why would they study troubleshooting Linux-company system problems just for one nerd in the company? So I had to switch to Windows 🙄


Since we’re dealing with biblical calamities all at the same time (pestilence, flood, earthquakes, volcanic eruption) it’s high time that I reorganize our emergency bags again. You’ll never know when you needed to evacuate. One bag for each of us containing basic necessities like flashlights with whistles, clothes, toiletries, biscuits or crackers, medicines, and water bottles. These bags should be ones that you can easily grab and go. Then another bigger container, if you have time to grab, are stuff for longer term evacuation like tent, sleeping bags, portable stove, canned goods, water purifier, and solar lamps. I already have all of these except for the plastic container to hold the tents and sleeping bag. I need to buy more sleeping bags.

I once told J that if he wants to survive Armageddon, he should stick to a Filipino since more or less we are used to Armageddon regularly so we know how to go about it. We’re like cockroaches, we can survive disasters. This is also one of the reasons why I drive manual transmission vehicles; mechanics on roadsides in all provinces know how to deal with manual cars. Automatic transmission cars are good as dead, especially if computer boxes get wet.

I am talking from experience; I was in the middle of Pasig-Cainta when Tropical Storm Ondoy submerged Metro Manila underwater for weeks in 2009. After a month of the disaster, I saw a lot of new AT cars dumped on roadsides of Manggahan Floodway ready for scrap recovery because they were already useless. For MT cars, you just push it through flood while the driver revs the gas pedal on first gear until you get to dry land. That’s what we did to our cars to get out of Pasig-Cainta when that area was like Waterworld. This is also the reason why I don’t want to buy sedans, if I can help it. If it’s already the end of the world, you may at least want your getaway car to be able to cross flooded areas. That’s why I am still not letting go of my old Isuzu Crosswind; I was able to drive through Super Typhoon Haiyan ground zero with that, about 2000 km to and from Samar-Leyte. Plus you can sleep at the back of the car if I just push the passenger seat further up against the back of the driver’s seat.

Ok, I must go out today to buy: 1) butane bottles for the portable stove; gas regulator for my regular LPG stove; one or two emergency lamps; rain boots (I don’t want leptospirosis adding to our worries) and wall shelves. Because I’m bored and I want to add shelves in the cooking area. And hanging plants.

Speaking of boredom, my girls are reading again. Yey.

Their reading positions are bad though. They often catch me in this position as well. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Photo by CallMeCreation.com

Daughters were craving for junkfood. So I made junkfood. Home-made hamburgers.

I just bought the Angus beef Highlands burger patties and Gardenia burger buns. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Veggies and Kewpie mayonaise. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

Comfort food for rainy days.

Monsoon rains

Roof is leaking again at the laundry area. Sent my landlady videos of the waterfalls happening at that back room. I hate it that whenever the monsoon season sets in, I’m never totally dry. I’m so done with renting old places.

Meanwhile, the government is starting to tighten restrictions again as the Delta variant has locally been transmitted. Fast. Some cases have come from OFWs coming home and no social distancing protocols practiced, especially during wakes.

Why can’t people understand that 1) traveling exposes you to so much pathogens that you should stay away from people for a long time and 2) in the process you are endangering a lot of people around you, multiplied by 8, as is the case with this Delta variant?

Soon we will be overwhelmed again just like in the first half of 2021. When will we ever learn?!


Because it had been raining nonstop for days, my girls are left with nothing to do so Twin I pestered me to teach her how to cook a side dish that she will feature during their Nutrition Week. (They started the school year two months earlier than public schools, which are scheduled to start by September). I thought of the easiest side dish I can think of: buttered mushrooms with garlic and bell peppers.

Photo by CallMeCreation.com
She also out rosemary in it. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Lunch yesterday. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

The world has shrunk for me again with this incessant rains. So I began digging again into the rabbit hole that is Youtube. And found myself watching hours of chiropractic videos.

And I was living vicariously through the patients. I must schedule an appointment with my chiropractor in Makati whom I haven’t seen in almost 10 years.

Right after giving birth to twins, my back ache was 9/10 as it turned out pregnancy worsened the S- curvature of my scoliosis. After the course of my treatment, the back pain was reduced to 1. And the pain on my hands disappeared.

Let me just get through next week and let’s see if I can make that trip to Makati.

Habit

Well, I was able to lie on my back on one of the benches before the guards came to shoo us away. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

Something is really wrong with my sleeping pattern. So on weekdays it’s rare that I get to sleep before 12 am. But during the weekend my body compensates by making me sleep almost the entire day for two days. I wasn’t able to do anything. Sleep deficit really sabotages my plans for the weekend.

I really must instill good sleeping habits for myself or else I will crash. The problem is my mind is very active at night; it simply refuses to lie low.

Anyway, because I promised my girls we will be biking today, I pulled my butt out of my bed despite the protests staged by every cell of my body. We went out at 4:20 pm… Which was still hot.

I finally was able to convince Twin A to bike with us. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
It’s just us. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
We later proceeded to Enriquez vegetable shop. Those in my bags are veggies and fruits good for 3-4 days. After which I need to shop again. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

And as I promised Twin I, we would be grilling steak tonight. To celebrate what? I don’t know. Our family. The three of us and the cats. I just regret that I cannot provide them with a good male role model whom they can look up to.

I used the Korean portable stove because it was very late and we’re starving. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Well, not bad. There’s less smokiness though, compared to using charcoal. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

I was forced to use the portable stove because we got home at past 6:30 pm and I no longer had the strength to start a fire and grill using charcoal. It turned out fine but the smokiness is less as expected but this is much faster.

I think I will add this to my Lazada cart by next week or so. I almost ruined the burner of the current one I’m using. Good thing after cleaning and much cajoling on my part, the Korean burner finally worked. But I won’t tempt fate again so I’ll use a proper gas-fired griller. I can also bring this when we go camping.

Another week. Another battle ahead.