Luxury is relative

Screengrab from CNA

Pinay teen gets bashed for calling Charles & Keith ‘luxury,’ fashion brand invites her to lunch

Zoe is a Filipina transplant in Singapore. Money is very tight given that Singapore is expensive for families not on expat package. I could understand why her parents don’t want to leave them behind in the Philippines and chose to live an almost hand-to-mouth existence in Singapore. I may have done the same because I cannot be parted from my children; but the difference is that I have a choice and I chose to stay here and live comfortably. Zoe’s father doesn’t. There is not enough employment options for Zoe’s parents in the Philippines as wages remain depressed while cost of living continues to jump.

Zoe impressed many when she replied to the trolls by posting a follow-up video in which she tearily explains her humble background and talks about privilege.

She told ST via e-mail that her family moved to Singapore from the Philippines in 2010. While she declined to say more about her parents, ST understands that her father works as a mechanical engineer.

So when her father gave her an SGD 80 Charles & Keith handbag, she was so happy that she uploaded on Tiktok that finally has her first luxury bag.

“My family didn’t have a lot. We couldn’t buy things as simple as bread from BreadTalk… when we moved to Singapore… Your comment spoke volumes on how ignorant you seem because of your wealth,” said the eldest of four siblings, who is being home-schooled.

The Singaporeans bashed her so much. The luxury brand-obsessed Singaporeans belittled an immigrant because her definition of luxury doesn’t match their own. My colleague told me that they shop so much because there is nothing else to do. In the end, they just throw out stuff with their price tags still attached because they no longer have room for more shopping. She felt Singapore produces so much waste because of this obsession with shopping.

They do not understand the kind of privilege they have and that only a fraction of the world’s population enjoy that kind of privilege. They live in a bubble.

Luxury is relative.

There was a time that C&K was a luxury to me as well and all I could do was just look longingly at the window displays in Rustans as I walked the length of Ayala Ave going to the MRT station wearing my beaten up black loafers from SM department store (Parisian) and blouse and skirt from Surplus Shop. I had to choose the cheapest toiletries and meals to make ends meet because I was just a year off from college and was just earning minimum wage. I had to share a dorm room with four other girls. My worldly possessions were my electric fan, my clothes, and my analog cellphone that I bought second-hand from my brother. I had to be judicious with sending SMS because at that time one SMS costs one peso and I only had PHP 300 budget for airtime load a month. Books and magazines were also luxuries to me. The only way I can indulge myself was to go to Booksale and buy PHP 10 to PHP 30-paperbacks or PHP 100-back issues of Vogue.

So for Zoe, it was a big deal to be given a Charles & Keith bag because her parents could barely afford it. People just 🤦‍♀️ love to hurt others.

Meanwhile, my quest to make nice bookmarks is not yet through.

Art and photo by CallMeCreation.com
Art and photo by CallMeCreation.com
Art and photo by CallMeCreation.com
Art and photo by CallMeCreation.com
Art and photo by CallMeCreation.com
This one was just an excuse to use my new Holbein watercolors. It doesn’t have to be pretty and correct. Art and photo by CallMeCreation.com
Trying my hand at children’s book illustration. It’s a book mark so it doesn’t have to be correct or pretty. Art and photo by CallMeCreation.com
This one was an experiment. I just washed the entire paper and let the color bleed. My big mistake was lining it with a marker. Art and photo by CallMeCreation.com

I need to go to a museum. I’m losing my spark again. 😑

Queen of procrastination 2

I was stuck. It took me a while but I started chipping away at the things I must do to get through this week. I’m almost done…

To get back my mojo and extricate myself from this rut, I started making bookmarks.

Art and photo by CallMeCreation.com
With gold flecks. Art and photo by CallMeCreation.com
I couldn’t resist lining it with my sepia Copic marker after I signed it. Art and photo by CallMeCreation.com
Chinese style braised beef. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

I bought various beef cuts to vary our menu for this week. I’m now slow cooking this Chinese style braised beef for 10 hrs. On Saturday I plan to make bibimbap (with sukiyaki cut beef) because my daughters started liking it. Yes, with gochuchang-based bibimbap sauce.

I’m cheering myself up today by cooking and painting because I’m PHP 52k poorer. I picked up my car from Ishimoto this afternoon and it felt like I was hit by a football on my diaphragm (you have no idea how painful it is to be winded out by a flying football). That amount is already equivalent to my trip to Seoul. 😑

But then, my car is running smoothly now, better than ever. The diesel mechanic said he overhauled my engine fuel system. He saw that my engine’s settings were high so he brought it down to standard levels. No wonder fuel consumption was so bad. He replaced a lot of parts because they were broken since gunk corrodes fuel injectors, etc.

Why the gunk? Well, he said that I may have unknowingly loaded my car with diesel from fuel stations that are prone to flooding. Flood = fuel contamination. That causes gunk, destroys your engine’s fuel system.

Now I have zero black smoke. The mechanic said my engine feels like it’s good as new.

True.

He also said my car’s engine is very dependable that’s why it’s still running well despite the age. CRDi diesel engines today are not as tough and long-lasting as the one that I have, which is a turbo diesel (TDI). CRDi, however, are more fuel efficient than TDI.

But basically, diesel engines last longer than gasoline counterparts, whether CRDi or TDI, because there is less wear. Diesel is a slow burning fuel; the acceleration is slower but that keeps the engine from wearing down quickly. These are engines for hauling and for long distance drives–things that I use my car for.

The art of writing

I’m obsessed with stationery since elementary. I don’t know what it is about writing that has gotten me hooked on it. Maybe because I often lived inside my head and the only way to get myself out of it is through writing.

I’m talking about the physical aspect of writing, you know, the pen and paper kind. Writing on a computer makes it efficient and but pen and paper makes the act deliberate and in a way, calming. I used to doodle a lot in my notebooks back then, drawing embellishments on pages, writing with different fonts, making artistic signage.

My handwriting is bad nowadays because I scribble roughly as I am always in a rush. But when I am just taking down notes during conferences, my handwriting is neat. My colleague was amused that i also have schematic diagrams in my notes.

I loved sending letters as well. I wrote an article about the lost art of letter writing for 2bU!, Philippine Daily Inquirer when I was still in college. I kept penpals then, both girls or boys. Not everything had to be romantic, you know. I kept in touch with my cousins via letters even though we can call each other on landlines (no cellphones then). I sent friends greeting cards.

This documentary by NHK World shows the reason why I spend too much time in Japanese stationery stores. The care and obsession they have with pens, paper, and coloring materials make their products one of the best out there in the market. The markers like Uni, Pigma Micron, and Copic are the choice of artists worldwide. Pilot has always been my favorite pen.

Now I want to have those glass pens shown in this documentary ❤️. I haven’t started with calligraphy pens and fountain pens because I know I will be spending a lot of money on them once I get hooked. A lot of writers have this loving relationship with their pens and paper. My former colleague has a Lamy obsession and he spends so much money on fountain pens and expensive notebooks. Butch Dalisay is a known collector of vintage fountain pens.

I haven’t visited Kinokuniya at Mitsukoshi in BGC yet because 1) I haven’t had time yet; and 2) I may just get disappointed with their current offerings because I was told there is not much yet to see there.

Oh dear, don’t let me add calligraphy into my things to do…

Speaking of writing, I wrote a long email to my bosses as I want to proceed now with the offboarding process for my colleague who has just resigned. My manager told me to submit to HR to process it and she asked what do I suggest for staffing/hiring. I guess London didn’t want to make a counter-offer because how can they match a salary jump of more than 50% when they cannot offer it to the rest of the team? How would that make me feel as well???

I sent a long email comprised of action items (from number 1 to 8), that they should seriously consider because we ran out of people in Singapore, because they are so stingy.

From the tone of my email, I think they would sense that I am already frustrated with the situation, that I would soon quit.

Not yet though. I need to settle in my new home first then I take action. I just needed this promotion so I can have more leverage when it comes to salary negotiation in my next job. I have no idea what that will be but my patience is already wearing thin with my current situation.

Probably I need to do some fasting tomorrow so I can concentrate on praying for guidance. My mind is full of cobwebs now because of this staffing issue, on top of the editorial work that I must hurdle.

Smile even if your brain is hurting. My back is so tensed now. Sushi sharing my pain.

To cheer me up, our global editor emailed us all last night, announcing the best stories we produced worldwide. I was one of those reporters mentioned as I led the team in producing a series of reports about this particular story for 52 months since we scooped this thing in 2018 until it came to fruition late last year. We were always ahead of competition.

I still have my mojo.

This is the reason why I still couldn’t leave for a long time—I’m enjoying what I do. Plus the flexibility of not being in the office (heck, I can work at the beach if I can, which I did several times). But then I know I should earn more.

Maybe there’s a happy compromise somewhere?

I just realized, I want to enjoy a slower life in my new house. My new life.

I don’t know how I would be able to reach a compromise between higher pay and doing what I love to do.

I think this is the third coat of paint for the girls’ room. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

I don’t know. I think my head is splitting now.

The stars would align, maybe? I should follow my own advice I gave a friend a week ago: you will know it’s just right when it falls on your lap and you are able to get it without so much of a resistance. Like everything just aligned for you to have it.

Just like this house; it was all smooth-sailing. I never imagined I could build my house in two years since I mused about it in December 2020 when I was so broken. I am meant to have this house and meant to go back home.

So ok, I just have to believe that there is a happy compromise somewhere.

More projects

Recycled grocery paper bags. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

My hands became restless so I wrapped some gifts for family and friends that I will be bringing to my hometown tomorrow.

I didn’t want to waste paper that will just add to our humongous trash problem so I’ve been recycling things. Aside from paper bags, I’ve been recycling my old business cards from a decade ago and use them as backing for the gift tags that I printed out.

Then I tried my hand again at painting sakura closeups.

I chucked this one because it didn’t turn out well. Art and photo by CallMeCreation.com
Tried again. Still waiting for it to dry. Art and photo by CallMeCreation.com

But it seems like I’m losing my mojo again.

It’s the end of the year and there are still a ton of things I must do like staff evaluation and self-reviews. That’s the most annoying part about my job: the admin work. Even though I’m already technically on leave, there’s this nagging voice at the back of my brain that says I must work on this now. But my body says I should relax and leave stress behind.

🤷🏻‍♀️

Maybe that dinner with my best friend tomorrow night will improve my state of mind.

Since my mom’s house is still on a lockdown, I booked an Airbnb in my hometown (which sounds absurd to me now) so I can spend the night there because the next day I have a dinner party with a listed company at Hilton, near the airport. So might as well be efficient with my trips and it will be easier to drive to Hilton from south then continue to drive to QC instead of driving from QC to Hilton then to QC again. <<<< This sounds horrific these days.

After my lunch meeting tomorrow, I will drive to hometown, check my house construction and bring my pendant lights and kitchen utensil railings that will be drilled underneath the overhead kitchen cabinets. I will also distribute the food baskets that I bought for the construction workers…something to augment their noche buena meal on Christmas Eve. Times are tough; a little blessing goes a long way for such workers.

You see, I’ve been very blessed, despite the shit I’ve been through the past 2 years. It’s my way of giving back to the universe that has been kind to me in some ways. I don’t forget the privilege that I have. I’m a single parent who can still afford to send my children to school, clothe and feed them, and have just enough to spend for our needs and wants. A lot of people are not in that position. Many struggle and find partners so that they would have somebody to share that financial burden with. Many get stuck in bad relationships because it’s hard to go solo financially.

I don’t have to, thank God.

Besides I’m not the type who will find a partner because of financial reasons. The thought just makes me nauseous. And I don’t think anyone would bother with me because I’m already old; relationship for convenience applies only to younger women and fuckbois.

Oh fuck bois. 🙄

How I hate thee.

And it’s done

Ceiling lamps on 50% off. This one is for my bathroom. Photo by CallMeCreation.com.

Yes. Finally bought ceiling lamps. And they’re a lot cheaper than what I initially planned. I let my kids choose the lamps. These lamps above would go to my bathroom.

The other one, albeit another variant of the one pictured below which has pendants that are hanging at same level, would go to my dining area.

This one is meant for a corner so the one we chose is similar to this but they are on a track and at the same level. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

I changed the bulbs from the inefficient 40-watt Edison bulb to the power saving 7-watt daylight LED bulbs.

I paid PHP 6,000+ for the two sets plus LED bulbs, which was already a very good price for the lot.

The other candidates that my kids initially chose were:

It just had too many bulbs for a four-seater dining table. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
This also has too many bulbs. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
These look nice but would be better for a 6 or an 8-seater dining table. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

The girls initially wanted something like this in the kitchen area but I shot it down because I want track lights so each bulb can be a spotlight on the kitchen counter. It’s easier to cook when there’s a dedicated task light for that.

Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Photo by CallMeCreation.com

My contractor sent me this photo of my fusebox and the pantry shelves below it.

Pantry shelves.

They’re installing insulators before they seal the ceiling so that I won’t be roasting in my bedroom by summer. My room faces east and it receives direct sunlight.

Insulators first.

Because I’m in the mood to spend, I indulged again and went to ArtWhale. Before I leave QC, I think I must complete my Holbein half-pans.

Each tiny pan is as expensive as a 15ml tube of gouache or oil. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

Meanwhile, I was feeling a little bit creative tonight…

It’s beginning to look like a close-up of a sakura blossom. Art and photo by CallMeCreation.com
It’s messy but it is still a work in progress. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

This is what’s difficult with watercolor: once it’s there, it’s there. You can’t erase a spill if it’s already set on paper and you’re too slow in catching it while it’s still wet. You only have a few seconds then it’s forever there. Unlike in oil you can use thinning agents or paint it over with white. Same with gouache. With watercolor… You’re doomed with your mistakes.

So I have to be creative with how I can disguise this bleeding (which came from my fingers because the new shadow green Holbein pan bled all over my hand). 😒

UPDATE

Not the most elegant way to hide bleeding but what can I do? Art and photo by CallMeCreation.com

Empty

Inking. Art and photo by CallMeCreation.com
Art and photo by CallMeCreation.com

The paper of this sketchbook absorbs color instead of half-repelling it so that’s why the watercolors bleed. I couldn’t make it behave the way I want it so layering is difficult. The gray on jaune didn’t blend so it sticks out like a sore thumb.

Ah well, this is a practice notebook anyway. It’s ok if my sketches are bad. I need to fill up 20 sketchbooks before I improve. 😏

Maybe I could try sketching Manila Cathedral now or Fort Santiago.

Today is a public holiday and I’m not supposed to work but I did. I had an interview with this firm that the Singapore PR I blogged about the other day was promoting. It was a hard interview because I tried poking from different angles and I’m not able to penetrate his wall so I couldn’t get what I wanted. I don’t know if I just wasted everybody’s time since there is no actionable angle I could write about 😒

This left me exhausted. Hard to interview lawyers if they’re not drunk. 🫠

I want to visit an art gallery or watch somebody create art so I can be inspired and restore my mojo. Creativity can be drained and I tell you I’m so dry. I’m running on empty now.