I’m kinda stupid. I’ve been driving all over Metro Manila chasing the instruments I needed for my new obsession when Art Whale is just right at my doorstep. I didn’t have to drive to Manila, Makati, or even to Q. Ave just to get the right brushes and individual half pans of artist grade watercolors. It’s just right there—a bike ride away.
They have stuff for caligraphy. Photo by CallMeCreation.comAcrylics and oils. Photo by CallMeCreation.comBrushes! Photo by CallMeCreation.comLovely Holbein travel kit. Photo by CallMeCreation.comMy next target. Photo by CallMeCreation.comMy purchases. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
I finally found that elusive #000 brush that is 10x better than my current one from Scriva. I could barely make lines with the Scriva #000 (the hairs are all falling apart) while this da Vinci is right on the money. And it’s only PHP 75. They carry Escoda (the very expensive kind) and Princeton brushes but da Vinci is fine with me.
I was also able to buy the Holbein Jaune Brilliant which has been in my Shopee cart. I can finally quit mixing my own colors for skin, which always turn out yellowish (that’s why in my sketches the people there look like they have Hepatitis).
I’m not happy with the single Winsor & Newton Cotman pan I bought; it’s quite chalky and it needs a lot of water and dipping before I could get the color. I found that I’m quite happy with Tokyo Finds Bento Picasso Pro and I’ll just fill it with Holbein colors now that I know where to buy these elusive things. Bento Picasso Pro have brilliant colors and enough transparency and can easily be reactivated with water, I can even reactivate the blots of colors on my pans that have dried up and use them up again.
When it comes to paper, they only have Strathmore in the “affordable”/non-professional line, which is quite pricey. So I can buy the 300 gsm papers from Art Bar (Cansons, MontMarte) and Tokyo Finds from Shopee Mall.
They have good brands for other medium (oil, acrylics, gouache) but they’re the higher end ones.
Here’s to my art therapy. It has been 15 months but I’m getting there. I have setbacks but I will get there eventually.
The girls are with their dad so I have solo time today. I went all Japanese today again for my dinner after discovering the Kewpie sesame soy sauce for that is perfect for shredded napa cabbage.
Dinner. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
I had tuna sashimi (surface pan seared a bit) with the last of my wasabi paste, omurice (the rice I seasoned for sushi), shredded napa cabbage with sesame soy sauce, and tonkatsu ramen. It’s too much for dinner but I didn’t have lunch and barely had breakfast today so it’s kinda ok. I’ll just have to walk off the calories tomorrow. Save for the trip to Art Whale and grocery shopping at Puregold tonight, I didn’t do anything much but sleep.
Let’s see what I can create tonight.
Two of my botanicals have been reserved by my bff L so I’ve touched them up before I would give them. So I was able to make room in my two frames for one botanical and for the Himeji Castle Garden.
This is the one of my two favorite views at Himeji Castle Garden. I tried the wet-on-wet technique and it’s hard reining in the colors running down the paper. It doesn’t help that I’m only working on a 5×7 watercolor paper.
Sketch and wash. Art and photo by CallMeCreation.com Wet-on-wet. Art and photo by CallMeCreation.com Almost done. Art and photo by CallMeCreation.com
I’ll let this dry and I’ll see later today if I need to fix some parts.
As I said yesterday, I will pick myself up today. Art has helped me channel my anger into something more productive. I chose a difficult subject so I can concentrate on it and in the end it was all worth it.
It took me almost an hour to finish the pencil sketch. Art and photo by CallMeCreatiion.com
I sketched in between editing stories. It took me almost an hour to finish the pencil sketch because there were so many adjustments. I was debating whether I do a wet-in-wet or layering. I decided on layering so it took me several hours to finish this because I needed each layer to be dry before I do darker coloring.
Making slow progress. Art and photo by CallMeCreation.com
I really have to master wet-in-wet to produce a smoother color gradation. In the meantime, wet-in-dry layering would suffice.
I’m happy with the results. Art and photo by CallMeCreation.com
I’m excited with what I can do when I have the Kuretake Gansai Tambi. 🥰
I took it easy today, edited only a couple of stories and did not exert effort to write my own (I’ll do that next week). So I played with my cats more.
Kimchi trying to be cute. Photo by CallMeCreation.comShe continued to beg for some petting. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
I haven’t attempted drawing my cats. If I do draw my cats, I’ll make them into cartoons 😄
Meanwhile, my new 10-year passport arrived and I’m stuck with that ugly passport photo for a decade. The good thing is I can now fly to Singapore once I get the go signal from my bosses. Our company is already implementing return-to-office (RTO) in phases so it would take a while before I can fly to our different offices. Except for HK as its government (or Beijing for that matter) is still having delusions that they can keep up with the zero-Covid policy. My colleague in Shanghai was complaining to me that he had to cut short work yesterday to shop for supplies because they’re going to have another lockdown and mass testing.
In a related development, I had been looped in the entire communication thread of another platform in our company and it seems like I have another reporter placed under my wing. He was the one who I had helped with raising funds for his daughter’s hospitalization and burial. So today I gave him two assignments to pursue and gave him the agencies he needs to talk to, the questions, the angles to pursue. It seems like I need to co-write that story with him.
I have to attend a lot of conferences and meet people so I can be in the loop when it comes to the topics published by that platform since I will be straddling two titles now.
So my plan to go to National Art Museum and Intramuros is thwarted as the girls will be spending the weekend with their dad. I think I’ll just take advantage of their absence by staying home, catch up on some sleep, and finish pending tasks like the curtain panels that I should be finishing but had just been stewing on my other table for 10,000 years. My girls asked me why do I keep on beautifying the apartment when we’re moving soon anyway? I said as long as we’re here, I want my environment to be pretty and enjoyable. I mean, I’ve been through hell and back (and back). Might as well make myself happy now and not wait until when we’re in our new home. I planted morning glory seeds and now they have grown and soon the plants will be creeping on the trellis and the courtyard will be filled with flowers. I have no idea what the colors will be. It doesn’t matter; I will leave them here when we move.
We live in the NOW, not for the tomorrow, not for yesterday. So might as well make myself happy now even if it means I would be dismantling everything soon when we move. I have exactly 12 months to enjoy what I have created here.
I should remind myself that I do not live in the yesterday as well, that he already belongs in the past and he should no longer hurt me. But I can’t help it that at times I get angry that he gave me so much hell.
I hope I no longer experience basura days and I no longer get triggered. I will no longer talk about him with friends. I don’t know if I could avoid this with my shrink though.
I’ll just cook for my friend K tomorrow. It makes me happy that somebody else is happy with my cooking. Love in a pot.
I’m not myself today. I edited 6 stories, I think, while doing some admin stuff. It was supposed to be ok but I wasn’t. I should have just let this be a basura day but I worked my ass off even after publishing two stories yesterday.
I felt ugly and fat today. I feel inconsequential. I just want to lay on a hammock and let this feeling fade away.
Being triggered so much last night reminded me that I should be kinder to myself. I need to put these feelings on paper, with color. Just to let this all out. I’m not good with drawing and painting but it’s an outlet that is different from my day job. Cheaper than photography too.
I clicked. Yes, I finally bought that Kuretake Gansai Tambi. I justified the expense as necessary for my mental health. And that #1 brush.
Art and photo by CallMeCreation.com
I put them in frames temporarily so that the cats wouldn’t be able to destroy them. The Baguio trees would be given to Kr while the flowers would be hung downstairs until I produce better ones.
UPDATE: I couldn’t sleep
Art and photo by CallMeCreation.comI used paintbrush #000 and it’s freaking hard! Art and photo by CallMeCreation.com
My gay friend, K, told me he’s in Makati Med for a burst appendix. He should’ve told me earlier so I could’ve visited him. He said it’s ok, he was in a lot of pain anyway. I told him I’m gonna send him home cooked food when he comes home to his condo. He says he loves my cooking and was delighted. I’ll throw in a Chinese botanical drawing to cheer him up. He has been very supportive of my art therapy.
I have a lot of friends, I have to remind myself. They love me and I love them. I should count my blessings.
This feeling should fade away. Tomorrow will be better. I’ll just have to adjust and work somewhere else probably.
Maybe on Saturday we can go to National Art Museum and then to Intramuros. Have lunch or dinner along Manila Bay.
This clip makes you think Metro Manila is ok. 😶 So deceptive.
“O my gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad! He’s a fuck boi!” my bff, L, told me today after I related to her what happened and the things I learned during the entire month of February—the reason why I was missing in action.
“Yeah, that’s why I’m into art therapy now. One sketch/painting a day. It helps me a lot along with the medication,” I said.
“Medication helps a lot if you’ve gone through something heavy like that,” said this friend who lost her daughter to placenta abruptio. She knows grief.
“Wait, he went after a transwoman???” She exclaimed after showing her the FB profile of the slut. I told her that making my children as an excuse for breaking up with me was bullshit from the very start.
“No, she’s a woman,” I said.
“But she looks like a gay person! If she didn’t have dyed hair, she looks like the lady who’s selling bananas at our street corner,” she pointed out.
“She’s a woman. And they fuck each other on the bed sheets I gave him. On the sofa cover I bought him. Basically all the stuff in his condo I bought for him.”
“Gurrrrrrrrrrrlllllll. I’m so sorry you have to go through this. My baby is now more awake at daytime so I had been busy. I wasn’t there for you,” L exclaimed.
“It’s ok. I have my support system here. Plus intensive art therapy.”
He has another one after moving out of the condo we had leased together, I told L. And chasing others as well at the same time, I told her. She knows how extensive my network is. I don’t want to know anymore.
“What a fuck boi. I’m sorry,” she said. “No wonder you keep buying a lot of Ikea frames,” she added.
“Now you know why I no longer trust people. That’s why I’m coming back home.”
Before this conversation with L, I had dreamed about him that’s why I got so triggered and kept waking up every hour until 7 am today. I have to take alprazolam tonight to help me sleep.
I’m so triggered today that I’m attempting do a more complicated Chinese botanical painting on a 5×7 watercolor paper that would require 100% concentration so it doesn’t leave me headspace to think about other things.
Half of the drawing. This would be full-on botanical. Art and photo by CallMeCreation.com
I’m so triggered that I would click on that button to buy that Kuretake Gansai Tambi after I finish this thing above.
UPDATE
Turn your anger into more productive things. Art and photo by CallMeCreation.com
I’m so triggered that I doubt I would be sleeping tonight so I would be making two small watercolor paintings. I’m so triggered that I just want to sleep and wake up in 2023 and not remember anything.
Quezon Ave morning traffic. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
It took me an hour and 15 mins to reach my destination today using Skyway 3. I like that infrastructure although it means at least PHP 400 of toll fee roundtrip. It does cut my trip to Manila or Makati by half. I also like driving on that newly opened elevated highway because the view makes you think Metro Manila is sane. The views of the buildings in Makati, Ortigas and BGC are pretty, especially in the afternoon when the sun turns orange. Since I’m driving, I couldn’t stop and take a picture.
Ambush interviews are back as well. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Here we are, back to our old ways but with a bit of a distance. This is an ambush interview of the newly appointed president of a company that I’ve been covering for 15 years now. I got two stories from this coverage. The leads were ok, but not that great. At least my diesel and effort were not wasted.
I still have it…charming execs into telling me stuff that they shouldn’t and the next day they would be receiving calls from my readers after my article had dropped into their inboxes. Hahaha! Oh well, dressing up and putting on make-up does wonders.
And since I was already out—on the other side of Metro Manila to be precise—I might as well take advantage and make the most of my fuel expense. I went to Ikea to buy more frames. Yes, frames. Because they’re cheap and they make my drawings look ok. That’s my form of self-love: a belief in my ability even if it’s not really good 😂🤣 and not be the first one to diss myself.
A little bit of frame shopping. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Why didn’t I just order online? Well I have a low EQ and I don’t want to wait for my shipment. But I think after today’s exhaustion, I would have to learn how to wait.
Art and photo by CallMeCreation.com
My reporter-friend M who covered the event with me this morning told me he really can’t do watercolors because he lacks the patience because they’re delicate. He says acrylics are easier for him. And for that alone, he would gladly pay for my cherry blossoms if I sell because of my effort, he said.
Well, he is right; doing those cherry blossoms really tested my patience and brush control. I didn’t go beyond brush #4. That’s how small it is.
Speaking of brush control, I really needed a #1 watercolor brush for delicate coloring so I went to Art Bar in SM Mall of Asia. Unfortunately, that branch already closed. So on the way home, I dropped by Art Bar Q. Ave and searched for that elusive brush. Errr, it was like PHP 300. No way because I could buy that online for 1/3 of the price. So I just bought some 5×7 watercolor papers (200 gsm) for my botanicals series and called it a day. I would just have to order online.
I also searched for Kuretake Gansai Tambi set because they’re almost on a par with Winsor & Newton artist’s line for a fraction of the price, according to the artists I follow online. Art Bar is already out of stock since last month so I have to search online. I’m excited to use this one.
When I go back to Japan, I would again be spending hours choosing art materials and stationery in Maruzen. The last time I went to their big Osaka branch, I was there for three hours, choosing pens and notebooks. Like they have gazillions of Pilot Fixion pens and Dr. Grip. I had been going around Tokyo and Osaka looking for art materials or stationery because the Japanese really make good stuff (like the Sakura Pigma Micron pens, Uni Pin [Mitsubishi] and Pilot). Maruzen and Loft are safe bets and you’ll be buying more stuff than planned—my credit card can tell you that. I bought my Travelers Notebook from Loft. That’s why if I’m not scheduled to go to Japan, I get my art and stationery fix at Takashimaya (specifically at Kinokuniya) in Singapore several times a year. Now that Nomura Real Estate and GT Capital (Federal Land) have a JV partnership to build a Mitsukoshi Department Store in BGC, I hopefully don’t have to fly to be able to buy these stuff abroad. The Shin Kong Mitsukoshi in Taipei was a downer though. I don’t like that department store.
Speaking of traveling, my Singapore colleague and I were talking about trips to Europe. She asked me what my first destination would be, I said Spain would be first because of the food, art, and the language. First stop is Madrid, then Barcelona, then Granada (because of architecture). Some friends hiked in Spain but since I would be traveling solo, it’s not recommended for me. Before the war in Ukraine, I would have liked to visit Prague, Czech Republic because of the architecture and museums. I’m a boring traveler, I know. However, a friend who visited Prague told me it might not be safe for me being alone there. Let’s see.
But before that, I need to make sure the workload is ok when we do our transition by next month or in May. I don’t want to be gallivanting in Europe while the team is left hanging. Maybe I should limit my trips to Asia this year and wait for things to settle down first. So in that case, I would be going to S. Korea and Japan for non-work-related trips. The rest of Southeast Asia would be work-related.
Oh. I still don’t have my passport yet. 🙄
On a related note, my friend M (the one who told me he wants to buy my sakura) and I talked about not leaving the Philippines and stuff. Because I told him that I would be transferring to my home province after I turned down the relocation to Singapore and he said, yeah, you really don’t need to be there. He said he likes to travel quite a lot (and we follow each other’s travel IGs and it was his IG that propelled me to have that instant trip to Hitachi). But he’s not really hot about migrating since all he needed are here in this country. I guess I can see where he’s coming from since he’s one of those reporters who really didn’t need to work as a reporter. Meaning he’s rich and he’s just living off his investments and family money/business. Journalism is more of a hobby to him. He said it looks weird that he’s one of the few Filipinos who doesn’t want to migrate. I said, it’s not weird. If your heart is really not into it, why follow the trend? Those who want to migrate want a better life and your life is already comfortable here so why rock the boat and just suffer homesickness? Maybe he felt pressured by others to do so that’s why he’s telling me this while he gave me a lift in his car to my parking area (which was very far from our venue today).
I said, don’t worry; there’s two of us who feel the same way.
Kr asked me if I could sketch her Baguio pine trees as seen from Camp John Hay. Lucky that I took a lot of photos of CJH when we spent Christmas there in 2017 and 2018.
Benguet pine (Pinus kesiya). Art and Photo by CallMeCreation.comHmm not bad. Putting it in a frame makes it pretty. Art and photo by CallMeCreation.com
