I just want to go to the sea without having to deal with the heavy road traffic that motorists have encountered this Holy Week break. Friends had been stuck on NLEX or provincial roads for hours on Thursday. That’s the reason why I chose to stay in the city this long weekend—I don’t want that kind of stress.

My sister has been bugging me to book Las Caidas in Cavinti, Laguna but I said my calendar is full until we move next month. There is no way I can fit that from now since Tuesday next week is the beginning of the annual stockholders meeting season.

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But I think I’d rather go to Masungi Georeserve first than Las Caidas because going around Rizal province would be harder for me now that I’m relocating south. Cavinti is just an hour away from my new house so it’s pretty accessible at all-year round.

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I am itching to go on a hike or diving instead of lounging around resorts and pretend that I’m a lady of leisure. Nature trips had always been my jam. Good thing my kids learned how to love it, too.

Gotta start packing to go back home. Staying in a hotel for three days in a city is the maximum I can tolerate.

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And that’s it. I’m hiding in my room now with the aircon on because it’s freaking hot outside. I did all my vegetable and meat shopping before going back home because I have no intention of going out until Wed.

I brought my sewing and watercolor kits with me at the hotel but I wasn’t able to touch those for some reason. I think my body and mind just gave up and didn’t function in the last three days. So that’s what overworking does to me. I just crash and burn. Then I hibernate completely to cope.

You know, planning and arranging things for work and at home (and a house construction) can really exhaust a person. Sometimes, I just want to go with the flow and have somebody else arrange things for me. Just for a change, somebody else to take care of me and lift some of the responsibilities off my shoulders. Because you know, a superwoman gets tired. I’m not a robot.

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I slept early last night after pampering myself with an hour-long bath. I scrubbed myself with bath salt scrub, stayed in the tub until the hot water cooled, and did a full skin care pampering on my face.

And I zonked out. But every now and again I got awakened because Twin I kept rotating all over the bed. It was an uneasy night. 😑

It’s 2 pm and we’re still not budging. We’re still in bed 😂. Lovely.

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Ah, hungry. Need to get ready to eat at a Korean drinking place. Of course, on a Good Friday. Just like years ago before I had kids, I stayed at Maxims and played at the slot machines on a Holy Thursday. For a hundred peso initial game, I won 7k. 😂

In the end, we got the kid-friendly Korean fried chicken. They didn’t want jjajamyeon.

Yesterday I went to Greenhills to buy 10 m of ethernet cable for my sisters because they have crappy wifi. I bought a new router for me and I will give them my old one so I can lay the ethernet cable up to the second floor of their house and hook up my old router there.

Then I will lay more ethernet cables so their laptops can directly connect to thw router or they can use the stronger wifi signal. They’re setting up a new office in the former TV area, which they also use as their yoga room. I will do that on the 13th, after all of humanity returns to Metro Manila.

The roads were clogged yesterday but today—hallelujah!—it’s all so clear.

It’s supposed to be so peaceful but my girls are so loud because they brought a friend with them to swim in the hotel’s pool. She will be picked up by her mom tonight after work. Meanwhile, I wonder how we can manage because there is no way we can fit in this bed.

I got a junior suite. Ummm…this is so small for a junior suite. 😑 I was expecting a king bed.

I’ll take a walk outside for a bit to savor the deserted Ortigas CBD. 🙃

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This song by Breaking Benjamin has been swirling inside my head that I had to play and sing it so it will die down. I have stripped this alternative metal song down to its essence.

For posterity’s sake. So that my children will remember me like this when I’m gone.

I was sooooo exhausted from work and my body couldn’t wait for the Holy Week holidays to start. Right after we did our grocery shopping last night I just dropped dead on my bed like this:

That must be around 8:30 pm.

My Sushi loves me 😁❤️ and joined me in my weariness.

When I woke up at 5 am, she was still with me.

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Not the Doctor

When this song by Alanis Morisette came out in 1997, I didn’t really understand the real meaning of this. Still I kept on singing this one because it was catchy. Twenty-six years after, I now fully embrace what it’s all about—co-dependence. Now singing this brings a different kind of sting that makes my heart bleed.

I don’t want to be the filler if the void is solely yours
I don’t want to be your glass of single malt whiskey
Hidden in the bottom drawer and
I don’t want to be a bandage if the wound is not mine
Lend me some fresh air
I don’t want to be adored for what I merely represent to you
I don’t want to be your babysitter
You’re a very big boy now
I don’t want to be your mother
I didn’t carry you in my womb for nine months
Show me the back door

Visiting hours are nine to five and if I show up at ten past six
Well, I already know that you’d find some way to sneak me in and oh
Mind the empty bottle with the holes along the bottom
You see it’s too much to ask for and I am not the doctor

I don’t want to be the sweeper of the egg shells that you walk upon
And I don’t want to be your other half, I believe that one and one make two
I don’t want to be your food or the light from the fridge on your face
At midnight, hey
What are you hungry for?
I don’t want to be the glue that holds your pieces together
I don’t want to be your idol
See this pedestal is high and I’m afraid of heights
I don’t want to be lived through
A vicarious occasion
Please open the window

Visiting hours are nine to five and if I show up at ten past six
Well, I already know that you’d find some way to sneak me in and oh
Mind the empty bottle with the holes along the bottom
You see it’s too much to ask for and I am not the doctor

I don’t want to live on someday when my motto is last week
And I, I don’t want to be responsible for your fractured heart
And it’s wounded beat and
I don’t want to be a substitute for the smoke you’ve been inhaling
Well, what do you thank me
What do you thank me for?

Visiting hours are nine to five and if I show up at ten past six
Well, I already know that you’d find some way to sneak me in and oh
Mind the empty bottle with the holes along the bottom
You see it’s too much to ask for and I am not the doctor

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