Another rough week

Waiting for our turn at the pediatric clinic. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

Brought Twin I to our pediatrician because of her acute toncilitis + pharyngitis. She caught it from Twin A, who recovered quickly because her anti-TB meds somewhat helped in keeping the infection in check.

What started as a viral infection (flu-like symptoms) with Twin A became slight toncilitis that eventually resolved on its own. She was sick when we visited our hemato-oncologist at St Luke’s last Friday but during her physical exam, she only exhibited clogged nostrils but her throat and toncils were still fine at that point. Her toncils were swollen only for a day or two and then the swelling went away. Her anti-TB meds really are strong, no?

Now when Twin I caught it, she had a harder time recovering. She began to have fevers Monday night, which reached 39 decrees C. I had to bathe her under warm shower to bring down her temperature. Her fevers subsided on Tuesday but I had to wait for more symptoms to appear before bringing her to the doctor. Three days of fevers, you can already test for dengue. Since Twin I no longer had high fevers, I was able to drive to Makati on Tuesday to meet with my PR friend. She still had slight fever when I came home but she was much better. However, she couldn’t eat solid food because her throat hurt. Thursday, I couldn’t bring her to the pediatrician because she didn’t have clinic that day so we relied on Betadine throat spray and Bactidol to help bring down the swelling.

Little dose if happiness. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

The arrival of my new brushes cheered me up a bit today.

This was another rough week.

I got pummeled again by my manager. My reporter in Indonesia, who was in the email thread, told me on WhatsApp that he no longer likes how my manager treats me. He also wanted to quit; my Philippines reporter is feeling the same.

Why do Koreans treat me so shabbily? 🀬 I think I would have PTSD from dealing with Koreans. I don’t have any good experience with themβ€”maybe except for my ex-colleague, 10 years my junior, who shadowed me in the field when he was here in 2017. His editor made him fly here because they didn’t have a local reporter for their publication (sister publication). He transferred to Wall Street Journal the following year.

Anyway, I had been feeling down and burnt out the whole week. Thursday night, my manager was still berating me on email until 10 pm for something that was out of my control. 🫠

This afternoon I wanted to tender my resignation but that is stupid, of course. What I did instead was I submitted an expression of interest for one contractor gig under one of the projects at ADB. Just to make me feel less trapped. I had reactivated my account in their consultant database, just to start the ball rolling. If I get the gig, then I don’t have to work as hard for my current company as I do now. It’s only for a short engagement but at least that would get my foot again at their door.

On Monday, I will be meeting with another prospective business partner or whatever you call it. I will be proposing a service contract that will likely solve his little issues without having to dip my hands into unpalatable aspects of PR. I will carve out the jobs that I like and do away with the things I don’t.

I have several services that I had been planning for several days now. For every income stream, I had already talked to the relevant people I could tap when I farm out these services.

Hopefully, this would pan out.


You know, art really restores the broken spirit. This piece of art was a joy to watch now that I’m suffering from anxiety and stress.

Brilliant choreography. It’s beautiful that I almost cried. Reminded me of Martha Graham Dance Company for some reason. Maybe because of the juxtaposition of tension and relaxation.

When things fall into place

That’s when I know it’s right.

The wheels are turning, I’m going to make it a reality. I should be ready and have the business up and running by June.

I’m too sleepy now.


Photo by CallMeCreation.com

I felt the four walls of my house closing in on me so I had to world outside on my balcony.

My APAC boss messaged me at 6:42 berating me about my 🀬 of a reporter.

I just…


Jumping off a cliff

I have a business plan. It’s hard to write down what it is and how to do it. A friend taught me basically showed me how to start it, what network to tap, and how to manage it.

This. Without selling my soul to the devil.

He told me I don’t have to work everyday once I learn how to set goals and how to achieve these with minimal effort. I just need gumption, my wits, and my face.

I am now positioning the chess pieces.


Immunity debt sucks

Nebulizing because it’s hard to breathe. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

I’ve got another patient. Just when the other twin is already well, here comes another twin down with something. Quite a number of their classmates/batchmates are sick with I don’t know what, aside from the gastro problems that remain unresolved by the school. I’m getting irate already.

The children’s immunity really has been eroded so much by their confinement at home for several years. Now that they’re back in the petri dish that is school—without masks on—we have kids getting sick more often than usual

It will take years before their immune systems get used to germs again.


I had a dark cloud hovering over me the whole weekend. Monday was a bit better than I expected since my manager was off. Or maybe she was sick of making me her punching bag.

My younger sister told me that in order for me to survive and not get angry everyday, I should just treat this current job as a money-making venture and nothing more. Have my passion lie elsewhere.

Good advice but the thing is journalism is my passion. How can I be dispassionate about it?

Maybe quit it. Or quit it in my head. Transfer my passion until I find a new job.

How about home-making? I love my home. Maybe I should start homesteadying, id est starting my home “farm”, making my little patch of land productive and beautiful.

Maybe, I need to step down from my stressful managerial position and just be a freelancer for my current company so I can write a variety of things for other media companies. It’s a risky move but it could work. I become the brand. I would own my time so I can pursue other things such as taking a short course on data analytics at my university’s graduate school. Many of the jobs at my level involved data analytics already.

Let’s see what my meeting tomorrow would yield me.

Meanwhile, here’s the glaring truth about McKinsey and the other McKinseys of the world. πŸ˜‚ I’m looking at you, Boston Consulting Group and Bain πŸ˜‚. These guys are just around me all the time.

And here’s the short cut to the parody recruitment video:

At least I have my home

Breakfast on my balcony. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

It’s still somewhat cool in the evenings and mornings that it’s totally worth it to wake up earlier than usual on a weekend and have breakfast al fresco.

I needed to see the sky and trees. I need to clear my head.

Good thing I already have my house so I don’t have to worry about rent and moved back home for lower cost of living. This gives me some flexibity in terms of career choices or else I will be twisting and turning in bed because of finacial worries. I basked in that knowledge and tried to enjoy my breakfast by the trees.

After cleaning up, I went to my desk and manually computed my cost of living. It’s actually a fourth of my current income, including some savings. But the cost-cutting I did on paper was really brutal. This is the scenario just in case I go back to academe and not be allowed to practice my profession i.e. journalism on the side.

But I’m not there yet. Not yet.

I have set up a lunchdate on Tuesday with another PR friend who owns his agency. I told him I need to pick his brains. Let’s see if this will help clear some cobwebs.

I know I will be in for another beating from my boss tomorrow. Oh Lord, she will be in HK as well πŸ€¦πŸ»β€β™€οΈ


Zero f*cks given

This past week was so rough on me that I just wanted to give up. My manager was pounding me to the ground so hard that I cracked. Our Manila reporter told me to just say yes, yes, yes, and let my my manager win because there is no other choice.

I cracked so much that I sent an SOS to my bff and she went straight to my house to talk to me. We evaluated my options. Seems like going back to academe is a no go for me. I don’t want to go through the rigors of PhD, not after my miserable experience in grad school while being a reporter. That was so rough. Plus the pay isβ€”πŸ˜­

I was chatting the other day with our former APAC head who recruited me 10 years ago. She told me if I go to PR, I will cross red lines. Now the question is, how much red line crossing will I allow? There will come a time I would need to lie. Bad service and tarnished branding are defensible, but lying is something else and it is part of PR. That’s the reason why she left her last job. The client wanted her agency to lie and she couldn’t take it.

My other bff said, lying and other dark stuff in PR is opposite of everything I stand for in my profession: truth, honesty, justice, and fairness. She said it will mess me up if I take up PR.

All day long I couldn’t stop thinking about the choices I have to make. The only logical thing is to stick around until something comes up. I cleaned my fridge, I cleaned anything that I could clean but I couldn’t make my mind rest.

I needed to get out of the house.

Kitties while I was on my way out. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

I told my girls we would buy sourdough bread to eat in the park.

Sourdough breads. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
This afternoon at the park. Not too hot, still cool. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Croissant. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Grilled cheese with tomato sauce dip. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Grilled mozzarella cheese with tomato sauce dip for me as well. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

Early dinner for us. I’m not in the mood to cook. I just want to wash away the bad taste left by the horrible week I had.