That darned ugly thing is always spewed back here by hell. 😖
My floofies. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
My bundle of floof a.k.a. kittykats always try to sneak into my room. And they refuse to budge and get off my chair. My chair.
That little sneak. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
That little critter took over my chair while I was having breakfast downstairs (hence, the unmade bed and messy table because I haven’t started my day yet).
The other little sneak after stuffing herself in my handbag. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
They know that the bed is off-limits so either they spread themselves all over my bedroom floor or invade my chair. Giving me an excuse not to work yet.
My floof balls, they’re a joy to have around.
Found some wet food online and they finally arrived! They’re around the same price as the 400g Vitapet wet food that I buy in the Robinsons Express (formerly Shopwise) near the apartment. The big Vitapet cans are hard to come by so I had to search for alternatives online.
I only give this at night, as was the habit started by J since they were little kittens. During daytime they graze on dry food. I should feed them cooked fish and meat every now and then because the dry cat food is high on sodium that causes UTI, kidney, and liver problems.
My dad was right in not believing in dry cat food. We always had separate cooked fish or meat for our cats when he was still alive. The last cat we had ran away a few days after my dad died.
Hmm I should have my cats’ blood work done soon to check… 🤔
A parody of Weekend At Bernie’s, a movie my family enjoyed in the early 1990s.
So the old man is still alive and kicking, as shown in his sort of recorded press briefing, whatever proof-of-life broadcast they did last night. Based on the snippets of whatever is posted on Twitter, there was nothing there of note, just ranting against his critics, no concrete plans about the frickin’ lockdown, no plans–period. And yet the DDS keeps on applauding.
Meanwhile, I am much better today compared to Sunday night and yesterday. I felt so rotten for 24 hrs because the side effects of Sinovac were so pronounced. I was itchy all over and felt like I had flu but not full-blown flu. I just wanted to sleep and stay in bed but I had three calls yesterday so…oh well.
So that means my antibodies are fighting off the inactivated coronavirus? I don’t know but damn it should work, after all the crappy feeling I had yesterday.
My aunt had a stroke and is now suffering from pneumonia. She is diabetic and in her 80s. No hospital in Manila took her in because they are so full so not even non-covid cases could be accommodated. My sister assisted them in finding a hospital in my hometown and thankfully they were able to admit her at 1 am yesterday. My cousin drove back to QC to get clothes and other stuff since it seems like they would be staying there for quite a while. She didn’t have enough masks to allow her to double-mask so I bought a box of surgical masks and gave her all my cloth masks when she stopped by my apartment so she could double mask in the hospital. She went back to my hometown to isolate in one of our rooms in my mom’s house until she could bring home her mom.
So now I’m back to sewing cloth masks again because I don’t have any left. Plus my cousin may need more.
San Miguel Light to keep me company while I sew new masks. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Something horrific happened earlier. I was supposed to message my brother and send him the Lazada link to a laptop that he can check out for his son but damn it I mis-sent it to J. I was wondering why my brother wasn’t responding. Too late, I realized that I sent it to J, because his chat box was next to my brother’s. I had to quickly recall it but it would still show that I sent something. In disgust, I deleted J altogether.
I should have deleted the chat box a long time ago. Now he would think I’m trying to get his attention. Fuck. I’d rather die than do that. I no longer have anything left in me except my dignity. I can’t lose it again.
He may not be my biggest error but he’s my biggest regret. No more, I will never be duped again.
Come to think of it, I don’t know if he really knew me. I bet you he even doesn’t know when my birthday is.
Aside from feeling horrible physically, I am also feeling crappy about that mistake. I needed something to make me feel Ok-things-are-shit-right-now-but-you-will-be-fine-later so I came back to music. I used to listen to “The World I Know” by Collective Soul way back in college when I feel like I’m going nowhere. I would just lie down on my bed and feel the lyrics. I need this right now, after ranting to a friend this morning about work and how I hate it these days and I already wanted to resign but I still don’t have an alternative lined up.
As I said before, when anger hits me, it hits me hard. To the point that I regretted that I loved him that much. To the point that I wished that I never met him.
Because you know, it’s hard. I just want peace. I just want to be left alone. I just want to be… Just be…
I just want this to be over. Because it hurts bad. I don’t deserve this.
While in the waiting room, observing for any adverse allergic reaction. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Quezon City finally got its act together and was able to procure enough vaccines to include A3 (residents with comorbidities). For that I’m thankful. My family back in my hometown is still waiting for notices.
I took Grab, thinking that there will be no parking area within or near the public elementary school that they converted into a vaccination center. I was right.
Grab ride ro vaccine center. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
My instinct was also right in assuming that there would be less people queueing late afternoon on a Sunday. I had my vaccine within an hour of my arrival there. Going through the screenings was a breeze because I prepared all my medical records.
The school was half-empty. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
My 2nd dose will be next month and I don’t know if it would be as easy as this one because my schedule will coincide with those people who will just get their 1st dose. I hope it’s not as chaotic as the first few days of the vax program.
The attending physicians there said Sinovac will be effective seven days after the 2nd shot. Those with allergies and asthma are required to wait for 30 mins to observe for any adverse response, which I did. I’m also expected to feel flu-like symptoms so we were told that we can self-medicate at home.
The most important document these days. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
UPDATE:
We’re screwed.
BEIJING (AP) — In a rare admission of the weakness of Chinese coronavirus vaccines, the country’s top disease control official says their effectiveness is low and the government is considering mixing them to get a boost.
“It’s now under formal consideration whether we should use different vaccines from different technical lines for the immunization process,” Gao said.
Good thing I prepared a mini celebration today for my girls’ birthday tomorrow. If I’m going to be sick tomorrow, at least I’m already half-done with the girls’ birthday cakes and food. One daughter specifically asked for steak while the other asked for pizza. So today is steak day, tomorrow is pizza day.
Prime rib. Photo by CallMeCreation.com Packaging says it’s made of coconut and is supposed to be smokeless. The anahaw fan is an indispensable tool when grilling. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
This charcoal briquette claims to be smokeless. To some extent, it produced less smoke but that darn thing doesn’t easily burn. So I had to add ordinary charcoal to produce embers quicker.
Red velvet from Old Baguio Cafe. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
We have too many cakes since my neighbor gifted the girls with a box of sans rival while I bought carrot cake from Old Baguio Cafe on the way home from the vaccination center. Then I bought slices of red velvet and strawberry shortcake to try.
This government is so obsessed trying to convince the public that the president is alive and well. The people at the top do not give a fuck that we’re sinking deeper and deeper. That today is supposed to be the last day of the enhanced community quarantine (ECQ) a.k.a. hard lockdown and yet they haven’t issued guidelines yet for tomorrow’s modified ECQ. Everything will be a mess tomorrow, as expected.
The photo that Bong Go and his ilk have been sending to media.
That guy isn’t even Duterte. The big tummy is missing. And who in his right mind would be golfing at night?! And why is the golf bag in the way?
Proof of life? Nay. If the president is incapacitated, under the law the VP takes over. The VP who is working tirelessly finding solutions to workable problems like mass testing and giving aid to those who tested positive despite her limited budget. To keep them at home and equipping them for Covid home care.
My blog entry yesterday reminded me of why I still liked Neil Patrick Harris. He is hilarious as Barney in How I Met Your Mother and his Tony Awards performances are lovely to watch. This clip of NPH’s performance during the 2013 Tony Awards made me miss theater so much.
I came across a video of Philip Quast (Javert in Les Miserables) explaining his process of singing Javert’s suicide; it’s not so much about the technique of singing, but it’s about the motivations behind the words he was singing. He said he likes acting not because of the live audience but because he likes the rehearsals more, the process of building something, uncovering a character, understanding the motivations and interactions. He doesn’t believe in playing characters but rather the roles are not characters because they are you, they are a part of you. I completely understood what he was trying to explain.
Apart from writing, music and theater were my passions growing up. In elementary, I joined singing contests and whatever contest that involved the stage (soliloquies, poetry out loud, etc). In high school, I was a member of the Speech and Dramatics Club and joined whatever stage plays our school had. I did that until college. I was supposed to be part of the ensemble of my theater group that performed at the Cultural Center of the Philippines (I think it was for two weeks) during a national theater festival but I had to back out because I was doing my undergrad thesis. I also auditioned for the local production of the musical Lean, just for lark, to see if I could make it. And I did; I was shortlisted to go through the second round. I didn’t pursue it because I was finishing my thesis (yeah, thesis does suspend your life) and I wasn’t really keen on the local production itself (not the material, the libretto is great). Good thing I didn’t go for it because the production turned out to be a mess.
What I miss about theater, as Philip Quast said, were the rehearsals–the build up. I was terrified of being in front of audiences actually. I have a terrible stage fright. For me theater is 70% about the rehearsals. Whenever we have closed the curtains for good, I would feel a pang and it would hit me that there would no longer be rehearsals to go to after classes.
There was a time when I was running around so much because I had theater, I played football, and I had an active social life. I had to give up football when I couldn’t fit everything as school demanded more of my time.
Fast-forward, when I was already working in Manila, I would try to watch musicals and straight plays if 1) I had the time and 2) I can afford it. That became less frequent when I had the girls.
Sometimes I dream about being in theater again, being in some production.
The World Tonight: China’s Coast Guard, missile boats pursue ABS-CBN News Team’s boat in West PH Sea.
I have so many things to be angry about these days, hence, the constant blogging. I do not have anybody to talk to in-person about these things these days and I can’t just constantly vent my anger on social media since I’m trying to avoid social media as it’s been adding to my anxiety.
This bullying by China is one of those things that’s eliciting so much rage inside me, which has attracted a lot of Chinese bots on my Twitter account. I don’t care if the CCP has been monitoring me. I don’t think I’m going back to Hong Kong soon.
‘Infuriating’, ‘heartbreaking’, says Robredo as Chinese ships chase Filipino vessel in West PH Sea
MANILA— Vice President Leni Robredo said Friday she was enraged and heartbroken that a Filipino vessel was driven out by Chinese ships inside the West Philippine Sea.
“When you watch the video, nakakagalit, nakakadurog ng puso na nangyayari ‘yon (it’s infuriating and heartbreaking that it’s happening) within our territory,” she told ANC’s “Headstart”.
The statement of the Armed Forces of the Philippines infuriates me even further, that they issued it on this day 79 years ago when thousands of Filipino and American soldiers died defending that last bastion but eventually Bataan fell. When they were defending the country from the Japanese invaders…take note of the word, INVADERS. Araw ng Kagitingan (Day of Valor) commemorates those who were lost during the Bataan Death March but the statement of the today’s soldiers completely annihilates the essence of the word valor. They are allowing Filipinos to be bullied 90 nautical miles off Palawan…IT’S CLEARLY FUCKING WITHIN OUR TERRITORY!
Defense Secretary Delfin Lorenzana was supposed to give a press conference earlier this week but it seemed like he was gagged; he said he is cancelling the briefing because he tested positive for COVID-19 but is asymptomatic. This administration conveniently uses COVID as an excuse whenever they 1) want to gag somebody; or 2) don’t want to face the media and be accountable to what was happening under their watch (I’m looking at you, PNP Chief Debold Siñas!).
We’re so fucked up. We exchanged our sovereignty for vaccines.
If I have a choice, I wouldn’t be taking that vaccine. But it’s Sophie’s choice—it’s between me surviving so my children can grow up with a responsible parent until they become adults or they lose their mother early either to COVID or lasting effects or complications from COVID (if I initially survive hospitalization or a similar set-up).
I remember growing up with so much rage inside me that I usually locked myself up in my room to write in my journal to release my pent-up fury. In elementary, I tinkered with the computer, that big beige box that only had a black screen with green or white texts. I had to boot from DOS using a floppy disk before powering up WordStar to write my journal entries that I saved in 5.25″ floppy disks. I was channeling my inner Doogie Howser.
Then I moved on to creating my notebook journals where I poured my soul. My mom said she was worried about me when I was in high school because I was always in my room and she thought I was turning into a some sort of wacko but she didn’t know that I needed solitude to be able to write. But come to think of it, because of this rage, I became a writer.
I wanted to buy my own typewriter then so I can write my manuscripts the old fashioned way. I was so in-love with the image of a writer, and later on of a journalist, hunched over a typewriter trying to beat the deadline. But I had to content myself with just using the communal computer at home to write my short stories and novellas that I distributed to friends. When I was in high schooI, I started publishing in a literature magazine of national circulation. I received letters from readers, even from abroad, who liked my stories. Then I started publishing my articles on the Philippine Daily Inquirer when I was in college. When I tell friends from PDI that I started as a lifestyle journo for their newspaper, they were surprised that I didn’t continue writing for them. I told them I tried applying for Inquirer Libre, the defunct tabloid that they used to distribute in the MRT, but the interviewers didn’t like me. I remember they laughed at the fact that I was a lifestyle writer and mentioned something unflattering about Tim Yap and his ilk (for the record, I didn’t hang out with them–they don’t even know I existed!). That unfortunate interview was a blessing because I went in a different direction–a much better direction, I should say.
So yeah, it was rage that started me into writing. Developing this craft is a lifetime occupation; it never stops. So when somebody asks me, when did you start writing? I would answer him/her, I started at 10 years old, when I was copying Doogie Howser, which was my favorite TV show when I was a kid. Neil Patrick Harris is still a favorite, 31 years later.
