Media scrum after former Vice President Jojo Binay‘s speech in a business conference. Photo by Philippine Star.
Gone were the days that we could interview officials this freely. Doorstop/ambush interviews like this are golden because the interviewees’ responses to questions are often not scripted and this is where we get the soundbites. I used my iPod Touch for voice recordings because it was easier to use when I’m transcribing. This photo was taken in 2014, when then-VP Binay was dealing with allegations of corruption and such. I couldn’t hide my resting bitch face because I wasn’t really happy with what I was hearing. I could not help but reminisce and feel nostalgic about how our lives as reporters were relatively easier back then. 😭
I saw this photo when I was uploading new photos on my Google Drive that I share with my cousins.
We had lunch in my bff cousin’s house since her sister from New Jersey arrived for a vacation and to visit their mom who almost died last year (or technically she already died because her heart stopped twice???). So I took photos with my trusty Fujifilm XQ1 (which I don’t think will die anytime soon) because for me it was easier to snap photos quickly with a standalone pocketable digicam. My mom and older sister came, too, so they can see my aunt for the first time after she was hospitalized in our hometown at the height of the Covid-19 Delta lockdown (she had a stroke and no Metro Manila hospital could take her in).
As I went through my Google Drive and Photos, I saw some pictures that I haven’t seen for a long time, like this one:
I was just 18 here.
I was with my cousin (whose house we invaded today) and my younger sister (yes, she looks older than me). My girls look like me.
Gone were the days I could fit into a size 6 😭
I’m still staring at the sketches I’ve done the past few days and I’m still trying to find the “spark” that would inspire me to paint. When I painted the pink peony yesterday when I’m not really into it, I wasn’t happy with the result. It’s hard when you force it.
A magenta peony. Art and photo by CallMeCreation.com
I’ve been pushing back finishing that Sombrero island painting. I’m having a problem with how sunlight strikes violent waves. I am almost getting it with the waves near the boat but the farther the waves are from the boat/from my perspective, the more trouble I have with sunlight reflection/refraction.
You see, painting is like solving a problem; you always get troubled by how light falls on the subject and the perspective—how the lines meet, especially in urban sketching. Rooftops are difficult, especially if the structures have different angles. That’s why painting/drawing is a good way to keep myself occupied because I don’t have to think about things that are troubling me.
Art and photo by CallMeCreation.com
I made a mistake here. I should have left the pencil outline and shouldn’t have used the UniPin liner for the finishing touches.
Art and photo by CallMeCreation.com
I’m a bit unhappy with how this turned out. I’ll try to see if this will grow on me.
Art and photo by CallMeCreation.com
Ok this is better.
Art and photo by CallMeCreation.com
While I wait if the above watercolor painting will be something that I will like later on, I made a sketch of nemophilas or “baby blue eyes”. This is how I saw them/photographed them in May 2017 in Hitachi Kaihin Koen in Ibaraki Prefecture (see photo I used for this blog’s header). I used the darkest pencil I have in my arsenal and would see if I can leave it as is without layering it with a UniPin liner.
Today was a bit rough at work as I was editing non-stop. That problem journo from India was displaying her attitude problem so I had to shoot her down in our email thread. Her ex-officemate in Mumbai (he already left the company) and I were chatting this morning and he told me this journo, R, is exuding “India newsroom vibes” where everyone thinks he/she is the star reporter so they all display similar arrogance. He said, R does not fit in my company because of her attitude problem; our company, M, is not like the usual Indian newsroom. When I showed him how she replies to my emails, he said: Oh wow, how can you have the guts to speak to an editor like that?
“She thinks she’s a goddess. Her BC does not like her and she doesn’t like her BC,” he said. That’s how I ended up editing her. The problem is she doesn’t like to be edited. Her BC keeps rejecting her copies because they are not up to par—still India newsroom-y, this ex-colleague said. So her draft with me reached a fifth iteration and yet she demanded that this should be published right away. I told her firmly that the publication of this article will depend on how polished this is. “As I told you, editing analysis pieces do not take just a day,” I scolded her.
I told my ex-colleague, “And you know how thorough I am with my edits.” Yup, he agreed because I was the one who trained him.
I told my manager in Seoul about this problem journo and she was backing me up in that email thread.
Shooting down biaaaaatches is really tiring. On a Friday. 😣
Meanwhile, my manager finally approved my leave and two weeks from now I will be toasting under the sun. First I will be Pico de Loro then I will be with my bffs in Caliraya. Either we will get the glamping tents or the boathouse. I have yet to book the accommodations. Will have to talk to them tomorrow regarding the schedule.
The past few days I was feeling like shit because of the bad news left and right. I suddenly wanted to have someone hug me and assure me that everything will be all right. I wanted somehow to have a safe place and feel protected when I sleep. That’s all I wanted; I’m a simple person. I never demanded anything else.
But then you know it seems like such things are not for me. Maybe I was made to be this way—independent and strong-willed—because in the end I will always be alone. So I need to toughen up more, especially during the times I feel weak and vulnerable.
No, I shouldn’t let myself be a wilting flower like that because that leads to mistakes. Major mistakes. I just have to be kinder to myself and learn to hug myself to sleep. I don’t want to get hurt like that again. I’ve come soooooooo far from where I’ve been 1.5 years ago.
We’re so fucked up that the outgoing finance chief says we’re in dire straits that we need more tax measures because we can no longer borrow.
Then this monster did this:
My journo chat group is on fire. Other news orgs are no longer welcome, only crony media and bloggers/vloggers paid by Marcos himself like unTh*king P*noy, who says FDI is capped at 40%. (The idiot doesn’t know the difference between foreign direct investments and foreign ownership which are completely different 🙄).
So now we are all banned from government briefings. So we all had put our heads together and we now have an action plan that I can’t even write about here in case some stranger ends up here.
I can’t even… And my boss was messaging me, asking me about Philippine trends now and I need to chase gov’t investment plans, infra projects, and new regulations. 🤬
One of the journos in the chat group said maybe GMA was included to give legitimacy to crony media like SMNI and Net25. I said no, GMA is claimed by Imee Marcos. She filed her claims before the SEC in 2007, I was there. She said the shares owned by the Duavits are shares held on behalf of the Marcoses while they were in exile. That’s why she filed for an invalidation of GMA’s IPO.
My bff L, who is not even a reporter, messaged me, “The news are exhausting, right?” And I said, “I can’t even turn off news because I’m a reporter 😭”
And this idiot doesn’t know what a Solicitor General is! OMG!
I asked for a break from my manager. So I’m no longer going to Singapore next week because our other Manila reporter will be flying to Bohol for a break. Then the following week, I will be the one taking a break. Screw conferences.
So I was telling bff L that maybe we need to get away for a while and stare into nothing. Here, I found the perfect place:
Patron Silver and the shot glasses I’ve downed this lunch time. 90 proof (45% alcohol). Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Things are so bad that press conferences come with alcoholic drinks because our hosts know how stressed we are right now. Twitter has made every reporter I know depressed today with a series of bad news after bad news, the primary one is having an incoming press secretary who is a lawyer suspended by the Supreme Court and her only claim to fame is being a fake news peddler VLOGGER/blogger. She red-tags people and is very hostile to media.
During Duterte’s admin, I have experienced being unwelcomed by the government as we legit reporters were not given seats in a national economic conference while the bloggers like uTh*king P*noy are given a special section where they can write and tweet inanities. These people who just add GDP cumulatively and declare that Duterte will end his admin with a 45% GDP growth 🙄 These people who cannot make heads or tails of FDI, stock market, mergers and acquisitions, and benchmark interest rates. I had to write my stories on the floor on those days despite my being in business clothes. That’s how bad it was.
My group chat has been on fire today. Marcos is putting hostile people in place to barricade us to prevent transparency and truth.
A lot of my friends and colleagues said they have turned off Twitter today due to the series of WTF stories coming out.
At UCC. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Despite downing a couple of shots of Patron, one of the strongest tequilas known to the market, I didn’t get tipsy. But just to be safe, I went down from the hotel where we had the lunch briefing to have coffee and work.
My laptop bag with cat scratches. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
I wasn’t really productive today but I was able to secure an interview with an Indonesian company for one of my reporters. I’m a generous boss; I farm out the things that land on my plate and I do not hog them for myself. Besides, I should be doing more value-added things like big scoops and more global/regional stories so I shouldn’t be doing small stories that suck up my time.
Sketch. Art and photo by CallMeCreation.comAt UCC. Art and photo by CallMeCreation.com
But I’m so brain-dead now that I could not pull up my watercolors to finish this sketch. Perhaps tomorrow when I’m in the zone?
My friend from my old TV network told me he wants to quit now and join corporate. I told him, he better jump now when the offer still stands because the threat of the incoming justice secretary is serious. It’s martial law all over again, closing down independent media and promoting crony media like SNI (owned by a Duterte ally wanted by the US FBI for sex trafficking and other offenses) and Net25 (Iglesia ni Cristo station).
The demonization of media and the legitimization of disinformation peddlers like Think*ng P*noy and M*rk L*pez has started. The more that we will get harassed, the more that we will be suppressed by this government. This red-tagger is now more empowered to call us communists that will automatically put us in the shoot-to-kill order of the military and the police.
How can you even feel safe in this kind of environment? In the US, the level of harassment of newsmen is not as dire as in the Philippines, where journalist killings are as rampant as in war zones in other countries.
He is now threatening the media owners that, hey, ABS-CBN will not be anisolated case anymore.
The incoming Sec Gen of the National Economic and Development Authority is a nice guy and I often had bets with him about the outcome of GDP numbers every quarter when I used to cover the macroeconomy. However, this does not negate the fact that he used to work with Marcos Jr when the latter was the governor of Ilocos Norte and I doubt his capacity to say no to shenanigans as he is more if a “yes” man more often than not.
This is the reason why my brother is/was invited to be an undersecretary under this administration. This guy and my brother have almost the same specialization and they had worked together on my brother’s doctoral dissertation. My older sister and I already expressed our disgust if he accepts the offer.
My mom was offered a director position to head a unit at the Department of Science and Technology. But the papers would have to be signed by Jr so my mom declined and said she’s already deaf but in truth she cannot stomach working under Marcos. She said two candidates for National Scientist declined the award because Jr has to present them the award. That’s how reviled he is.
Meanwhile, I got so frustrated this morning because I got disturbed by a journo in India last night. She was the one asking me for favors and yet she’s the one who appears to be more demanding than my own reporters. 🙄 She thinks that editing analysis articles is a piece of cake.
Learning to say no.
I had a journo messaging me at 8 pm asking to discuss her analysis piece. I said no, we will discuss tomorrow since I have children to attend to now.
A content editor was asking many simple questions about a story I edited, I asked, can you address your concerns to the journalist who wrote this? It is 11 pm and I am already in bed.
I have started turning off my Microsoft Teams because they always mistake I am available 24/7. Is there a way that makes Teams put you on an “away” mode automatically at a certain time? I have no problems with emails because I can ignore them. But instant messaging is really intrusive.
my FB post
And I spent most of my day today dealing with that story.
Boundaries. We need boundaries. I hate co-workers nagging me during off-hours for work-related matters. I’m no machine! All bosses should also know how to stop this bad habit like their staff is working 24/7. Ghad, we’re not slaves!
STRESS RELIEF
#catloaf. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
This is not a perfect cat loaf as Sushi’s front paw is showing. I can’t resist squishing them when they’re in a complete cat loaf position. I don’t know why. They evoke squishy stuffed toys of my youth?
Another stress-buster for me is scrolling through IG, looking at drawings, figuring out how I can do a similar thing. I learn by looking at their step-by-step posts.
I also browse through Amazon before sleeping and check out prices of Daniel Smith and Rembrandt watercolors and Lazada for Holbein sets. As if the prices would change 🙄 These friggin’ brands are sooooo expensive and yet…I want them. I know the joy of jumping from student grade to almost-artist-grade and they’re miles apart. What more if I get to use artist-grade colors? 🥰 I couldn’t bring myself to buy Rembrandt because that thing costs USD 180!
Maybe when I’m good enough to exhibit, I will brave it and spend PHP 9,000+ for a tin of watercolors. 😶
I will buy this as a gift to myself. I’ve reached my quota of gifts to myself (new piano, computer keyboard), maybe I will do this in December???
Or or or…maybe when I go to Japan I will buy myself a huge set of Holbein watercolors and all the pens I could cart away in my bag.
In the meantime, let me browse through e-commerce sites for these babies until I fall asleep. 😂
So I’m typing here using my very pink Logitech keyboard and my phone to blog about how terrible it is that there is a system-wide Converge blackout here in QC. I’m using my Smart data just as my phone is on fire due to multiple calls, which I will write about later.
First off, I drove to Msi-ECS this afternoon for a Lenovo repair. This company also accepts gadgets (laptops, tablets) from other brands like HP, Asus, Acer, Dell, etc).
Driving along Marcos Highway. Took me 1.5 hrs roundtrip for 20 mins of service. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
The service was quick since I called them up on Friday for scheduling and pre-fill up of data sheet.
Photo by CallMeCreation.com.com
The rest of the afternoon was spent on emailing and instant messaging people. I can’t believe that it takes hours to do these things.
Then the group that I had been helping during the height of the lockdowns in 2020 had asked for assistance again as the Aetas of Capas, Tarlac have no means of livelihood due to the pandemic and the children would be having face-to-face classes now. The teachers are asking for white shirts for the children as they have no clothes to wear to school.
I began my messaging and call brigade to mobilize my connections. So now they have been sending financial support and another friend said she can have the shirts made in Taytay T-shirt factories for only PHP 40 each. My mom’s friends are sending books and other people are sending school supplies.
I will ask my corporate connections for donations in kind (probably through their own foundations) for school materials or food supplements for these kids, whose families were displaced by the Clark Development Corp.
Sixteen years ago, I’ve written about the Aetas’ dire situation (in Morong, Bataan), especially when it comes to their education or the lack thereof. Sixteen years have passed and it hasn’t changed much.
It’s about time that I make that long-delayed trip to Tarlac and meet this community of indigenous people that I had been helping remotely. I will ask a friend for book donations as well. My reporter-friend and I will arrange a trip together since he was the one who helped distribute the milk powder that I solicited from a food conglomerate way back in 2020.
This is the reason why I can’t leave the Philippines. I have the means to help them and make a difference, in my own little way. I can also write about their plight for one of the broadsheets since I’m friends with most of their editors, as I had been doing in the past. The indigenous peoples of this country are the most forgotten/neglected groups in this impoverished country. They don’t have voices and only a few of us can lend ours.
As I said in my essay, Love Letter to Myself, we need to work at the bottom of the pyramid to be able to spark change.
And oh, my crazy cats have destroyed the screen on my bedroom window because they’re chasing birds outside my window. 🙄
My destructive monster, Kimchi. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
