Finally

I had my dark beer.

It’s an Asahi dark beer. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

I was again so tired chasing people, talking to people all day, and I had to write one story while half-listening to the panel discussion at the conference. I’ve been on my feet for more than 8 hours.

At the networking break. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
On the bus on the way back to my hotel. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

My colleagues from HK and I finally decided, enough is enough. Singapore is boring. So we went back to our respective hotels to change from our business clothes to something more casual and met at Chijmes to have drinks.

At Chijmes. Yes, there are bars next to a church. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

And have chili crabs. Or pepper crabs. Or whatever, I don’t know the difference because I can’t eat crab. I had kangkong sambal and so sad sweet and sour pork… Because I’m allergic to crustaceans or else I will have anaphylaxis. 🥴 I lead a sad life.

Chili crabs at New Ubin Seafood Restaurant. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
One pint for SGD 17. Cheers!
Second pint.

Nah, that’s just drama. It will take more than this to get me drunk. 🤣 Believe me. Three shots of Patron and I was still normal.

Ah another day of hard work tomorrow.

Day 1: Dead tired

Low battery.

I woke up at 6 am so I can start preparing for my Ms. Universe pageant, as I call my networking events. Had tea and instant cup noodles because I can’t be bothered to go outside for a proper meal. I just needed some carbohydrates to last me the day because in networking events, I barely eat.

All I do is talk and be charming. And get info.

So now I have two stories I need to write down. If I find the time to write them. 🥴

Anyway, just as I was about to leave my room, I noticed that my new dress had split a seam on the shoulder part. So I had to quickly change clothes 🤦‍♀️

Full house for the small conference today. There were more people at the back of this hall and some were standing. And to think the main event is still tomorrow. 🫣

A lot of GPs, LPs, fund of funds, family offices, etc. Moreso tomorrow, which is a bigger event than the one we organized in July.

I started talking to people at past 8 am, got back to my hotel for a bit (about four bus stops away) to get more business cards because I realized the stack I brought with me were not enough. 🤦‍♀️

I stopped at 7 pm because my throat could no longer take it. My legs, too. I’m just too tired. I’m supposed to attend the awards dinner but they couldn’t find my name on the list despite being registered by my colleagues. I finally had the perfect excuse to go home back to the hotel and rest. 🫠

Good thing I brought a lot of Strepsils and Bactidol candies for my throat. My capacity for talking even astounds me. 🤣 One company I had been covering had a presence there and I told their rep that ohhhh I know you guys pretty well. You were bidding for this and this and you have some pending xxxx with yyyy. He laughed and said you have a photographic memory and I wish I have that. I said, in my line of work, it’s a requirement because how else can I gather the things I need for my stories? 😬 And I featured one of your companies. “Yup, I read it,” he replied and I said, “You don’t have any complaints?” Nope, he said. Oh good, I said. This is one of my worst fears when I talk to the people I write about, I told him.

So I have five pending interviews/requests for connection and some more introductions for my contacts, because that’s how I am generous with them. That’s how I keep relationships.

Ahhh, these guys. They don’t give me the time of the day. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Bus on the way home. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

I bought dinner from Plaza Singapura because I don’t have the energy to eat in a restaurant. I just want to put my feet up, have a very hot shower, and retire early.

Sushi for dinner. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

And a lovely tea pack from one of the booths at the conference.

Very relaxing blend for the tired body and soul. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

Looooong day

I always choose the earliest flight so I can maximize my day. In any case, I can sleep at the terminal and in the plane.

4 am at NAIA Terminal 2. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

Before arriving at Changi Airport, I topped up my Starhub via app. No need to bother myself with looking for a convenience store, which I did since 2014. Then finally Starhub launched a wonky app in 2018-2019 so I could do everything online.

Then I got robbed by UOB at their money exchange kiosk in T1. Their exchange rates at the airport is nuts! PHP 11k for only SGD 239! I may have to use my credit cards more. Annoying.

Here is the worst part. My Dizo phone is not working here in Singapore. I bought this so I can use my Smart SIM so I can receive my OTPs for online banking and other transactions. And damn it, it’s not working. I didn’t check that it’s only capable of 2G, which I think Singapore has already retired.

I wasted PHP 1,300 for this thing. I’ll just give this away. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

I was forced to buy a new base model Oppo (A17 = 4GB RAM, 64GB ROM) from Challenger @Jewel because I cannot NOT have my Smart SIM dysfunctional. I will just pass this on to Twin I when I come back (since hers is only 3GB, 32GB ROM) and I will use her old phone for my travels. I just need the SMS capabilities of a phone for an OTP.

OMG, I promised that I will not spend so much here but here I am…

Still feeling under the weather so I had bak kut teh to relieve my colds. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
I have yet to arrive at my hotel, I was already tired….Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Park near my hotel along Penang Road. I could hear some of them speaking in Tagalog. Probably domestic workers on their day off. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
I went to a ceramic exhibit at the nearby Visual Arts Centre. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
More ceramics. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
They are for sale. Some ceramics were dainty and lovely to have at home…but my cats will kill them. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Next door is a studio where they have art lessons for kids and adults. They have various courses there for different media. I talked to the manager there and it was interesting. You can have an a la carte class for SGD 45 for watercolor. Something nice to do on my weekend day off. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

At the back of the National Library. Interesting to sketch. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Resting for a bit at the National Library. Not much visual interest here. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Along Raffles Hotel. Looking for some interesting angles to sketch. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Finally found the Straits Art supplies store at North Bridge Road. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

I found Holbein, Rembrandt, Schmicke, some Russian brands, and Old Holland. I held back and reminded myself that I just spent SGD 229 on a cellphone because of my idiocy.

Second-hand bookstore. I have to keep myself from buying random stuff that would add weight to my luggage. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
I wonder if I can sketch this with complete details…Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Went to find a nearby Kopi Tiam because I was hankering for hawker food. I was generous with the chili oil because, again, of my colds. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Finally, my bed! I’m so tired. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
No closet and the sink is outside the bathroom.
And bathroom is all glass. Good thing I’m not with someone. It would be awkward seeing your partner pooping. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Big-ass TV that won’t get used. This is a 65″ Samsung. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Ah lovely. Tea to calm down my throat. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

Sleepy. Big day tomorrow…Awards night in the evening. And there are only two journos. What am I going to do? How will I stretch myself. Better get some sleep.

Down for a bit

Hot tea to relieve sore throat. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

Some nasty virus hit me the other day. I was aching all over yesterday and had to sleep most of the day and the entire night starting at 7 pm. My lymph nodes behind my ears are swollen and I have sore throat.

I had been brewing tea to relieve my throat. I made myself Nongshim Bulgogi noodles, a little spicy soup that I thought could unclog some phlegm stuck somewhere in my upper respiratory tract.

Bulgogi noodles. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

It’s a terrible feeling. I haven’t tested myself for Covid. Please don’t let this be Covid because I can’t cancel my trip to Singapore. I will be leaving tomorrow at dawn. 🥴

I’m torn between sleeping the whole day today or shop for provisions for my family here. Don’t have any choice but to do both. Lemme sleep some more…


Ok so I forced myself to move and pack my stuff. As usual, my cats want to come with me.

Kimchi being obnoxious again. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

And the girls and I went to the salon for pedicure and haircuts. I can’t look drab when I’m meeting hundreds of people and doing my Ms. Universe thing.

Nail cleaning and polish. Just because. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

And I opted for a wash-and-wear haircut. Will be too busy to attend to my hair in the next 9 days. 🫠

This is our bonding day before I go. My girls are in their tweens and are now more aware of their femininity.

Waiting now for our food. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

I can’t cook. Can’t bother. Too tired. What’s the use of being surrounded by restaurants when you’re not dining out? So here we are, having something hot and spicy for dinner. Hopefully my throat will be fine tomorrow. 🥴

Swimming in chili oil. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

We’re slowly dying

Our water utility in home town has been poisoning us with arsenic. The Commission on Audit (COA) has already flagged this in 2020 and 2021 but the local water district has failed to fulfill its duty as a regulator. I again wrote LWUA to demand why our water district has not addressed so many issues, the biggest of all is the high arsenic content.

I suddenly got tired. I am too angry and it left me tired. I’m just too spent.

There are so many problems weighing me down.

God, help me.

Thank God for cats.

Dear daughters, this is mommy, still grace under pressure. I try to be the best I can be despite the mounting problems on my shoulders because I want to show you that it can be done. That you always have to maintain dignity at all times because at your lowest point, that is the only thing that will be left with you. Love, mommy.

Vincent

Almond Blossom. Vincent van Gogh (1853 – 1890), Saint-Rémy-de-Provence, February 1890. He painted this with love for his nephew and namesake.

I was just vaguely aware of Vincent van Gogh’s life and was more familiar with his paintings.

Until tonight.

I read up on him the entire night (for some reason) and learned about his loving relationship with his younger brother, Theo. I felt his struggle with his mental health and his desperate need to paint because that was the only way to quiet his spirit and ease anxiety and depression (oh how painful it would have been without modern medicine!).

His anxiety deepened as he felt his dependence on Theo’s generosity is weighing on the future of his nephew–his namesake–and Theo’s wife.

He knew he was not getting better. He could no longer contain the pain.

Gun to his chest.

His brother died heartbroken six months after Vincent died of gunshot wounds.

Although I may never know how a bipolar felt, I could understand his need to paint and paint to draw out the pain from his body. As if painting numbs you. As if that’s the only way to silence the raging emotions within you, the pain of emptiness that envelopes you.

I wanted to cry for Vincent. It wasn’t his fault he was sick like that.


The last time I drew and painted was when I was 17.

Until I had an “episode” (as my doctor called it) in February this year—when I received J’s painting and had learned about the the truth that I didn’t want to discover—I have never produced something passable as art. It’s that pain of hollowness, that depression, that inexplicable feeling of wanting to be free from something unseen that drove my pencil and brush. Only my hands could express all of those because my keyboard suddenly became bereft of words.

This was a product of my need to draw my heart in a different way. I could not express the pain I had at that time so this came into being. I became a writer who could no longer produce words. That’s how bad it was. Art and photo by CallMeCreation.com

I drew this because I had no words to give friends who asked how I was. This was my easiest answer. Art and photo by CallMeCreation.com

I painted this when I was 15, inspired by Van Gogh’s cypress trees and some landscape painting of Arles. Because I was feeling his emotions through his brush strokes. It resonated with me. I must have been feeling something strong at that time when I did this. Art and photo by CallMeCreation.com

Now I understand
What you tried to say to me
How you suffered for your sanity
And how you tried to set them free
They would not listen, they did not know how
Perhaps they’ll listen now

For they could not love you
But still your love was true
And when no hope was left in sight
On that starry, starry night

Vincent by Don McLean