My hands became restless so I wrapped some gifts for family and friends that I will be bringing to my hometown tomorrow.

I didn’t want to waste paper that will just add to our humongous trash problem so I’ve been recycling things. Aside from paper bags, I’ve been recycling my old business cards from a decade ago and use them as backing for the gift tags that I printed out.

Then I tried my hand again at painting sakura closeups.

But it seems like I’m losing my mojo again.

It’s the end of the year and there are still a ton of things I must do like staff evaluation and self-reviews. That’s the most annoying part about my job: the admin work. Even though I’m already technically on leave, there’s this nagging voice at the back of my brain that says I must work on this now. But my body says I should relax and leave stress behind.

🤷🏻‍♀️

Maybe that dinner with my best friend tomorrow night will improve my state of mind.

Since my mom’s house is still on a lockdown, I booked an Airbnb in my hometown (which sounds absurd to me now) so I can spend the night there because the next day I have a dinner party with a listed company at Hilton, near the airport. So might as well be efficient with my trips and it will be easier to drive to Hilton from south then continue to drive to QC instead of driving from QC to Hilton then to QC again. <<<< This sounds horrific these days.

After my lunch meeting tomorrow, I will drive to hometown, check my house construction and bring my pendant lights and kitchen utensil railings that will be drilled underneath the overhead kitchen cabinets. I will also distribute the food baskets that I bought for the construction workers…something to augment their noche buena meal on Christmas Eve. Times are tough; a little blessing goes a long way for such workers.

You see, I’ve been very blessed, despite the shit I’ve been through the past 2 years. It’s my way of giving back to the universe that has been kind to me in some ways. I don’t forget the privilege that I have. I’m a single parent who can still afford to send my children to school, clothe and feed them, and have just enough to spend for our needs and wants. A lot of people are not in that position. Many struggle and find partners so that they would have somebody to share that financial burden with. Many get stuck in bad relationships because it’s hard to go solo financially.

I don’t have to, thank God.

Besides I’m not the type who will find a partner because of financial reasons. The thought just makes me nauseous. And I don’t think anyone would bother with me because I’m already old; relationship for convenience applies only to younger women and fuckbois.

Oh fuck bois. 🙄

How I hate thee.