This is really making me consider going to Canada. Apply for a graduate school scholarship there (but it’s fucking cold), go with my kids (free basic education) and kapoof! Or to New Zealand but I may just end up milking cows because they don’t need my skills there. They have enough of my type there.
Anyway, it’s not an option right now since my passport is going to expire next month and I still couldn’t get an appointment with the Dept of Foreign Affairs. WHY IS IT SO HARD to get a simple government service??? I need to fly to Singapore in May and June.
Meanwhile, this other table shows that the bigger the N=, the smaller the gap between Marcos and other candidates. So there might be some *hope* there.
The other surveys’ sample sizes are 1,500-3,000 vs RP MDF’s which had an N=10,000
Also in 2016, Leni trailed in the surveys but she won in unlikely places.
Praying for a miracle right now.
I’m on alprazolam right now but it’s not doing me any good. I slept at 3 am today and woke up at 5 am. what kind of sleep is that???
My psych said I can take melatonin because of my sleeping issues. She can’t just jack up my dosage of alprazolam–that would really mess me up. This was also prescribed to Covid patients who have trouble fixing their body clocks. Why it’s only now I asked about melatonin from my doctor, I don’t know. Maybe I was scared if it has any conflict with alprazolam. Or maybe I was afraid of no longer waking up. If I didn’t have kids, yeah, why not? But I have kids and I love them so I can’t risk dying.
But this sleeping problem is really affecting my productivity.
My friend, B, has booked herself a one-month stay in Boracay and she asked me if I want to join her for our own version of “Eat, Love, Pray” hiatus from the world. I said, why not? I’m about to send my girls to their grandma to attend an entrance exam review school for the summer and I can work remotely in a resort with B. I said I can join her after the girls’ birthday. She and I will be kite boarding every morning before we go to work.
My older sister also said the same thing; she wanted to book a month’s stay in some seaside resort. I said Anilao will be good since she doesn’t have to fly and she is a certified scuba diver so she has something to do. So I need to find a place for her so I can join her from time to time.
I told B about my solo Palawan trip and she said she could tag along. We could do El Nido; I’ll see how long we can stay there.
I just need to get rid of this toxicity that surrounded me since Friday. It doesn’t help that the girls kept looking at the girl whom J cheated me with on Facebook and kept watching her vlogs. “Mommy, she kept on talking about ‘Do you want to earn extra money?’ but she only shows her boobs!'” I told Twin A to stop it because I don’t want to know! My girls call her bakla because they said she looked like a gay man cross-dresser. It was cruel, I know. Maybe they are that angry with J. They refuse to refer to him as tito anymore. It was my friend, Jo, who lives in the same condo who told me about her. She always sees the girl walking along the riverside. “Yeah, she’s the type who wants a quick ticket to live abroad. Many of them in this condo who are with foreigners are like that. You know the type,” she said. Yeah. Many of them love to hang out in Poblacion, Makati. In the red light district, feeling like it’s the coolest place to be. That’s why I always beg K not to book dinners there (being a gay man, yeah, he likes it there).
I remember working in a Starbucks branch there with J because we were meeting with a startup guy. We saw an old Korean uncle with his very young plaything. J commented, “Very typical of these old uncles.” Little did he know that he has become an old uncle himself who got his own maldita hija de puta.
Jo said, “I can’t believe that he also chased M*** at the same time!”
I said, “Ah yeah, you were also there in that E*** awards party, right?”
Ugh. The world is really, really small.
So yeah, I think two weeks or just a week in Boracay will do wonders. Kite boarding in the morning. B and I can have our breakfast along Bulabog beach. Then work. She cooks and I also cook. Run along the beach for exercise until sunset. I can take a week off in May or June for Palawan–if I’m not flying to Singapore or Thailand. B just came back from the US and I haven’t asked her yet regarding her status with her guy in MD. But we have all the time in the world to talk about that in April. She just needs to go to Masbate after April or in March to visit some family properties.
It would be nice to get away from all these. I’m getting tired of the city but I really don’t want to be near family. What to do???
The world seems bigger than both of us
Yet it seems so small when I begin to cry
– Splender –
Ah, truer words have never been spoken.