This one song had a profound effect on me, especially the lines:

“Years go by, will I still be waiting for somebody else to understand?
Years go by, if I’m stripped of my beauty and the orange clouds raining in my head
Years go by, will I choke on my tears ’til, finally there is nothing left
One more casualty, you know we’re too easy, easy, easy“

Because of this song, I promised myself I will not waste away my years and end up at 65 years old, asking myself where has my life gone? It was 2016. I told the the father of my kids about me filing an annulment case. Because of these most powerful lines:

…I said sometimes I hear my voice
I hear my voice, I hear my voice, and it’s been here
Silent all these years. I’ve been here silent all these years
Silent all these, silent all these years

After I got off that horrible situation, I thought I found “somebody else to understand” me. Nope. This need for some kind of understanding was exploited. And landed me in a situation where “I choked on my tears ’til finally there is nothing left.”

I’m still trying to recover. I’m still trying to find my voice because staying silent through the years, when I gave more energy than I received, is like being disembowelled. I died but I kept on living.

Tori Amos, you do not have any idea how much your song changed me.