Hitachi Kaihin Koen is one of those places where I felt really happy and at peace. I don’t know why but it’s just like that. I desperately want to go back there now but for obvious reasons I can’t. I was already a zombie at that time I visited in 2017 but somehow when I got there in Hitachi, I became human again. I started to feel emotions again. I realized that I wasn’t completely dead inside. Sitting there on top of the hill surrounded by flowers staring at the sea for hours made me realize that there might be something beyond the trees, the sea, the horizon that I should try to see and look forward to. That’s why in 2018 I opened up again to another person…

Now I have the chance to create a happy place that I could build with my own hands without anybody else. It’s now within my reach. I just need to decide where I should buy a lot and plant roots, figuratively and literally. I wish I could build my small home on a hill that I can plant with flowers, trees, and vegetables, like our home when I was growing up. Or have my little house perched somewhere high overlooking the sea, like in Anilao. I could recreate this view from Hitachi in my little cottage by the sea.

The thing that is keeping me from scouting for a lot now is 1) Metro Manila may be put on a hard lockdown again starting tomorrow or Sunday–it’s just a matter of between now and Monday; 2) I don’t know if I should be planting my roots now because I may end up living abroad–I can’t really tell. I have to decide soon because the window to acquire a lot may close.

If I do choose to build a home in the near-term, I have to concentrate on that while raising my girls. Nothing else should divert me.

And I could hear my friend commenting again, “looks like you’re not making space for anyone else.”

She’ll know that my answer hasn’t changed.