It took me 8 years before I had the guts to emerge from my pseudonym. It’s quite ironic since I’ve been writing for half of my life and I have my name in black and white for many years.
And yet I’m scared of blogging under my real name. What gives?
Is it because in blogging I become the message since I am the messenger and the gatekeeper rolled into one? I guess it’s because I don’t have anything that I could transform into some kind of barrier or screen between me and my readers, critics, detractors, what-have-you. Maybe because the accountability rests on my shoulders alone and no one else’s—no editors, no producer, no president or chief executive.
The trouble also with having my name bandied on a blog is that it automatically makes me censor myself. Last night my sister, who just recently arrived in Australia, told me over Yahoo Messenger to delete some comment I made on Facebook about the nuclear missile testing by North Korea. She said, “you cannot post those kinds of comments because you’re a journalist. You may compromise your credibility.”
At first my initial reaction was “screw you! screw them! This is my private Facebook account!”
But then nothing is really private in Facebook, isn’t it? Look at the “bikini photo” incident with a Catholic school in Cebu and two students.
Are journalists really banned to take sides, to express opinions? Even on Facebook? Can we not say, “stupid North Koreans for making radioactive sushis of us all?” Even in half-jest?
Where do I draw the line? Or am I forever limited to the confines of my paper-and-pen journal at home? Yes, I know, there are numerous journalists out there who have blogs and still manage to go out in the field unscathed. I just wonder how much self-censorship they do? How can they rein in their opinions? How do they deal with accusations of bias and yadda, yadda yadda?
The pseudonym I have allowed me to criticize systems, criticize the government, make fun of personalities, review gadgets, review restaurants, endorse products and food. Can’t I do that using my real name?
If I can’t do that then I guess this blog will only have 10 entries for all eternity.
