Forward march

One of the fountains I bought from Farmers. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

My kids and I welcomed 2023 with our neighbors and we shared sparklers, fountains and fire crackers.

It’s kinda bittersweet. This is the last new year’s eve with the neighbors. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

My girls enjoyed the evening, which was capped by viewing the fireworks of central QC from our neighbor’s roofdeck.

360-degree view of fireworks in central QC. Video by CallMeCreation.com

So for 2023, we will be embarking on a new adventure… Sort of. We’re going back to the place where my girls were born and where I grew up. Very familiar ground and yet it’s full of uncertainties. I will be in danger of making my world smaller because I will be back to my old stomping grounds. I’m in danger of regressing and throttling the growth that I had painstakingly nurtured. I’m scared of stunting.

But I’m doing this for my kids. They will benefit from growing up in a more protected and unpolluted environment. They’re now the priority, it’s no longer about me.

I say, I need to go forward, march to the tune of the band, and hope for the best. This new year will be a transition period for me, not only because I’m moving houses; I feel there’s a bigger shift that’s going to happen. I don’t know what exactly that is.

I’m out of therapy for 6 months now and 2023 will be a new start for me. I’ve been held back for two years and it was like I was loitering around purgatory longer than I should.

What will I be targeting to do this year?

  • More diving; it will be easier since travel time will be cut because I would already be in the south
  • Learn kiteboarding in Boracay
  • Go to Moalboal or Coron
  • Go surfing in Siargao, La Union, Zambales, or Baler.
  • Go camping again with my kids either in Caliraya again or Tanay, Rizal
  • Prepare for travel to Morocco or Spain in 2024; in the meantime I will bring my kids and mom to Singapore since it’s the easiest place when I have a brood to herd.
  • Travel to the Bangkok, Hi Chi Minh, and Phnom Penh for work.
  • Push for promotion of my two or three reporters
  • Build my small homestead
  • Start court proceedings for my annulment as I’m already out of therapy. I can finally battle it out in court

I’m sleepy.

Wishes

At JB Music Store in Araneta Center, Cubao. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

Twin I finally bought her acoustic guitar that she has been wishing for half a year. She saved up her weekly allowance and her Christmas money and deposited everything in her Maya e-wallet/bank account. She had applied for a Maya debit card and got it a week or two ago. Today she proudly used her very own debit card to purchase her guitar.

I was the one who chose the guitar (a mid-priced Fernando) and it sounded good, even better than the RJ guitar I tried at the Guitar Center in Mall of Asia.

Good luck to your future callouses! Photo by CallMeCreation.com

After the guitar business, we went to Farmers Market to buy fruits and veggies for tonight’s media noche feast. I’m supposed to grill some marinated porkchops later.

Then off we went to buy sparklers/fireworks. Over PHP 2000 worth of them.

At Parolan, Farmers Market, Araneta Center, Cubao. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

Of course, for maximum noise, we bought horns for the three of us.

Toy horns for PHP 50 apiece. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

Went back to Gateway Mall where we parked to buy a cake from Conti’s. However, they ran out of cakes. 😑

Let me nap first…


Burgers and pork chop for dinner. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Drinks after cooking. Whew!

Letting it out

Sunset over Laguna de Bay. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

The urge to get out was so strong that I endured one hour of driving just to see this sunset (and a little bit of bicycling) in Eastridge yesterday. During last year’s Lunar new year holiday, we went to have lunch at Balaw-balaw in Angono, went to see the Petroglyphs, Morong Church, and then the Tanay Lighthouse until the sun had set.

I promised myself that I will show the girls this place and will watch the sunset with them here. Which we did yesterday.

The last time I was here trying to appreciate the sunset, he didn’t pay attention to it, to me, or to our surroundings. It was as if he didn’t want to be there with me and just wanted to ride his bike and be done with it. He didn’t talk to me. He only did talk to me when he wanted to buy the orchid being sold along the main road in Eastridge.

I want to bury those memories. I am supplanting it with better ones that didn’t stab me like a thousand knives.

I’m letting this all out so I don’t suffer in silence. I wanted to tell the world about this but of course I can’t. Where is the dignity in that? Unlike some of my friends in social media, I don’t air my dirty linen in public. But I’m looking for ways how to air this out because keeping it all in is killing me.

That sunset was so beautiful and yet fleeting. It only lasted about 10 to 15 mins then we were enveloped by darkness. It was like that episode in my life.

The best revenge is to live my life to the fullest. To be better than I was when I was with him. To be a kickass journalist. To be a better photographer. To be a better homemaker and parent. To be a better human being.

The clock doesn’t move backwards, so I shouldn’t.

Never struggle to chase love, affection, or attention. If it isn’t given freely by another person, it isn’t worth having.

Unknown

Paalam

Paalam
Paalam
Paalam
Paalam
Sa ating nakaraan
(Paalam) Sa mga pinagsisihan
(Paalam) Sa aking nadarama
(Paalam) Kaya ko na ng wala ka
Sa naging pagmamahalan
(Paalam) Sa mga pangakong naiwanan
(Paalam) Wala na ‘kong pagsisisihan
At sa wakas ay kakalimutan
At kahit ‘di nagpaalam
‘Di bale na kung nasaktan
Ika’y naging sapat
Kahit tinapon ang lahat
Paalam

I regretted nothing. I’ve flipped everything over in my head and I would still have done the same, whatever the situation would have been. I’ve given whatever I could and I would have done the same thing again. Maybe with a little more restraint and loved myself more?

But there are things that are out of my hands, curve balls to topple me down. That’s what happened.

I pray for all the strength I would need to face this coming year. I don’t think I can take any more pain.

New Year, new chapter

Fireworks viewed from my neighbor’s roofdeck. This photo is owned by callmecreation.com.

Took a break from posting travel stories to say Happy New Year 🎉 to all of you. May 2020 be less stressful, filled with love and laughter, and more financial freedom so I don’t have to sacrifice one thing for another.

Christmas tree outside Manor Hotel, Camp John Hay, Baguio City on 25 December 2019. This photo is owned by callmecreation.com

God bless us all