Dreaming of books

I wish I have a huge wall in my future flat to house a big bookshelf like this. But I have to content myself with a few shelves scattered all over the place because I need to prioritize windows over the need for bookshelves. Light vs books. We’re not even talking about keeping the flat cool because the two rooms and main living area would be airconditioned.

But for a writer/editor, not having enough books in my house is hurting my brain 😜 They’re sort of my security blanket. My escape from this uncertain world. They were my friends when I withdrew from society.

I’ve swapped our rooms so it makes more sense. But when I showed this to the girls, they protested and they want me to bring back the loft beds and want the smaller room so that there would be less area to clean. πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™€οΈ Well then, if that’s what they want, I will swap again and retain the original plan drawn by the contractor. I will have a bigger cave all to myself.

My fridge finally arrived and it’s much bigger than my old one. Twin A, who is over 4 ft or nearly 5 ft, stood beside it. The freezer has 3 shelves so it’s roomy enough and it can fit a month’s worth of meat and fish and other frozen food. I can finally lessen the frequency of my grocery run.

Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Photo by CallMeCreation.com

Tomorrow is Greenhills day so I can sell my iPhone and iPad 7 as I got myself a new iPad 9, 256GB. I can look at keyboards and pen for the iPad so I can also make it my alternative laptop when I travel–for emergencies. I’ve experienced traveling for my holiday and some work emergency sprung up because some deal is closing or whatnot. I don’t want to be lugging around a heavy laptop when I go to the beach or I go roaming in Vietnam or Cambodia.

I need to cheer myself up because tomorrow midnight will be my first death anniversary.

Christmas Rush

Driving back to QC is terrible when you lack sleep. I drove for 3 hrs with a pounding head. I think my astigmatism got worse so I need to see an optometrist ASAP. It seems like the pandemic is only a figment of our imagination given the volume of cars out today on the highway and expressway.

Hosting our alumni homecoming last night was ok, except for low battery microphone issues. My class was able to raise about PhP 1.9m (USD 38,000) for the school (IT equipment like laptops for students in need and Internet access for them), digitization of records, and seed money for the endowment fund.

After the event, we just ate, had a little jamming session, and had the hired mobile/sound systems/broadcast/camera equipment company, etc pack their stuff. We didn’t have the energy to party like we did in the past when we only quit when the sun is already up.

This time we were out of the venue by 12 mn. That’s what growing old means.

Because I was so tired and sleepy, my mom and my older sister were the only ones who were able to join the caravan for Leni Robredo in our town and nearby cities this morning. In solidarity, I wore the volunteer shirt last night before we had our live broadcast.

Photo by CallMeCreation.com

On our way back to QC, I bought some plants to give to friends for Christmas.

Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Photo by CallMeCreation.com

These plants are relatives of the birds of paradise (Musaceae) and they have to reach 5 ft before they start flowering. Given the right conditions, that can easily be achieved. Just look at my own birds of paradise, it has grown from a rhizome to 4 ft in 12 months. Had the mother plant lived, it would have flowered by now.

One of the reasons why we needed to go home ASAP is because my cats have been so sad. Ate C sent me another photo of Kimchi waiting for me to enter the door last night.

Waiting.

Meanwhile, my fridge has already given up on me. Ate C had been messaging me while I was driving that the lower part has remained at room temp but the freezer is still ok. She tried her best to do what I did as a band-aid measure when this fridge conked out a few months ago. But Ate C’s efforts it didn’t work.

So the first thing I did when we got home was to scan Lazada for deals. I finally bought the 11.6 cu ft two-door, bottom freezer inverter refrigerator from Panasonic with free shipping. I no longer want LG-branded fridges. This one at home is only 7 years old and the one it replaced was a Samsung, which was only two years old when the insulation burst open and leaked ice and water all over the place. I wanted the Hitachi bottom freezer fridge but Anson’s Online’s pricing was confusing. At first it said there was a discount of about PHP 3,000 but when I was checking out the item in my cart, it went back to the original price. It was dodgy. So they wouldn’t give discounts for those who are using credit cards online? That’s stupid.

And oh, I must talk to my financial advisor. I need to draw down one of my funds because construction for my flat will start in January.

I’m excited and scared.

Best Friends For Life

Today I saw my BFFs, who had been with me since elementary days. We laughed so much over lunch. One of them even took a leave of absence for work so we can hang out.

We needed that face to face connection. Serotonin boost for all of us. We all had been feeling blue about the daily drudgery of life and for a moment, we just relished each other’s company, and giggled like we were back in high school.

My girls, on the other hand, went out by themselves since my hometown is a very safe place to let them be. Especially inside the university campus. They ate at a Korean restaurant and hung out at Starbucks with their kuya and their tita and they were fetched by their tito (my brother) and dropped off here in grandma’s house at 9:30 pm. Tomorrow they will be out again with their kuya, eat at a ramen house and play hooky.

I think my decision to transfer here is a good one. For my kids to be more independent while being safe.

My older sister put up the lights this afternoon. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Even the garage was decorated. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

This Toyota sedan was offered to me by my mom so I can let go of the old Isuzu. But that old car has so much use as I can carry three folding bikes and plants there all at the same time. This Toyota can only carry people and groceries.

I’ll be back here on the 24th. While my girls will be with their dad, paternal grandpa, and other relatives on their dad side, my cats and I will just be lolling about in the apartment. ❀️

Meanwhile, Ate C sent me these pics of my forlorn cats missing me. They kept waiting for me by the door.

Gotta sleep early. Hosting gig tomorrow.

Sad

It’s an understatement.

My APAC head was pirated by our former APAC head to join her in her new consulting firm. She will leave us in three months. I had been pushing for people to move up; was counting on her to back me up.

But then, I can’t fault her. She has been with the company since forever and she needed a new challenge.

I feel bummed out today after my call with her.

And I’m having a hard time hiring in Jakarta, Bangkok, and Singapore. My manager isn’t exerting much effort to help. I need to fill up these vacancies before my APAC boss leaves. I am going nuts here; my ass is tied to my chair and couldn’t really actively hire in these markets due to travel restrictions.

stressed woman covering her face with her hands
Photo by Anna Shvets on Pexels.com

All the more that I shouldn’t move to Singapore; it’s too much of a gamble to uproot ourselves with this kind of leadership issues we’re having. Our former APAC head knows what my goals are and she knows that I’m not into client-facing jobs. I can chase stories and network like crazy but chasing contracts is a stretch for me. That’s why she hasn’t and she won’t pirate me.

One Singapore-based high school friend who is a lawyer for one of the big global investment banks told me I should grab the opportunity to relocate there. I pointed out to her the cost of sending children to school. She agreed that education for foreigners there is prohibitive but she said it’s doable. Well, with her income level it’s doable. Journalists don’t earn much in Singapore like bankers and lawyers and I would be pinching pennies there. I don’t want a lower quality of life just because we need to grab the opportunity to live in Singapore!

I hope I will feel better and optimistic tomorrow. Right now I’ll just wallow in frustration and sadness.


My flat’s proposed plan by my contractor.

So now we have the right dimensions. This is about the same as some mid-priced condos here in Metro Manila but I have a garden and more space to move about outside. I can build an extra office or studio in the garden. Besides, when we’re back in my hometown, we won’t be spending our time inside all the time because it’s so easy to be outdoors there. The mountain is just by our doorstep. Sports and recreation is literally walking distance. My high school friends are even planning a year-end camping trip in Caliraya–those things are easy to manage when you already live there.

And when I’m old and grey, this space is easy to manage. I’ll just have a two-person elevator installed.

Revenge shopping

My new peach rose. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

Last Thursday I couldn’t help myself, I still bought a new rose bush and a sunflower.

I have yet to transfer it to a terracotta pot. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
My white rose blooming again. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

With careful tending, my white rose bush is blooming again while my mini pink rose and yellow rose are forming buds again. Roses require a lot of attention like regular fertilizing, deadheading, and trimming.

Sunflower past its prime. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

Meanwhile, this sunflower seems to be always thirsty. This big flower is past its prime but it has a number of buds at its back. Needs careful tending as well.

Today we went to Tiendesitas to buy Twin I a new bathing suit from Decathlon since the new one I bought a couple of months ago no longer fit her. They will be going to the beach with their dad during the Christmas holidays so I need to buy them new clothes. It’s hard to rely on home measurements or eyeballing shoe sizes and clothes.

I went overboard though. Not only did I buy them new running shoes (because Twin’s growing feet could no longer fit in her months-old shoes), I bought them sports bras, running jerseys (to use when we go biking), duffel bags, and sleeping bags for our camping trip in January.

Then we ate ramen at Tenya, the first time we ate out since the pandemic began last year in March. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
I want to buy some Japanese lanterns. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
To make this little corner alive. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

We dropped by at Mr. DIY for some home improvement stuff and miscellaneous items that the girls bought as gifts to their best friend who is celebrating her birthday tomorrow. The girls will be picked up tomorrow by the their friend’s parent while I will be driving to my hometown because we have a livestream at 8 pm.

And I bought fake flowers because I couldn’t have real ones inside the house. Because cats.

We bought a laser pointer to play with the cats. They need more exercise. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

And I finally finished the last panel of my granny curtains for my room. I’m running out of projects to do.

My room is getting cozier. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

My high school friends said I should bring my new piano tomorrow so we could jam. I missed being in a band–mostly the jamming sessions with friends. The part where we were on the road for gigs…not so much. That part was exhausting and we had day jobs then.

Hmm I have to bring my camera to take a video, for posterity’s sake. Jamming session after 20 years.

Luxury

I love sleeping on my bed. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

I may be cheap in some aspects of my life but I allow myself some kind of luxury in other areas. Not clothes, cars, or bags or similar items.

I indulge in sleep.

I keep buying beddings and new pillows every now and then. I ordered new ones from House of Snores and Neatens Manila for me and my kids a few weeks ago and I was pleasantly surprised that those were 500 thread count fabrics. They are nice. Every week I change sheets and every two weeks I change the duvet covers. If the sheets are older than a week, they feel itchy to me.

I had Tempur orthopedic pillows before but they didn’t work for me because I’m a side sleeper. I left them in the old house.

I also love scents.

My scented humidifier. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

When I started working even before I graduated in 2000, I began buying scented candles and lighted them so that my room would smell good and put them out when before I went to sleep. I stopped using scents in my rooms because I figured my ex-partner wouldn’t be enthralled with it. We did buy some Indian incense from Little India before but when we tried lighting it, it didn’t go well with my airconditioned room…smoke gets trapped inside! I still have a box of those incense here but I couldn’t use them because it reminds me too much of him and his love for India.

Anyway, my kids love hanging out in my room because as Twin A said, “Mommy, your room feels like a hotel room; your bed is nice and it smells good.”

For me to give up my bed for anyone is a sign that person is an esteemed person in my book.

Why did I write about bed now? Because I change my sheets on Sunday nights and while I was doing it earlier tonight, I reflected on why I keep on doing this tedious chore weekly. It’s cumbersome because it involves lifting the heavy orthopedic mattress, but when I have made my bed with fresh sheets, it feels really good so it’s all worth it. It feels luxurious.

Today I pulled out my lazy ass out of bed to cook because Twin I asked for pasta. So I did.

Carbonara, as requested by my daughter. Photo by CallMeCreation.com

Tomorrow I need to shop for veggies though. They need to be stuffed with vegetables because come Christmas, they won’t be having any since they would be spending the holidays with their paternal side. They don’t eat enough veggies there. Their aunt and her family would be driving from here in Metro Manila to south to avoid airports = Covid. They will take the girls to see their 89-year-old grandpa before something happens to him. I cannot deny him his granddaughters and I don’t have any beef with him except for raising a spoiled, self-centered and lazy idiot.

I’m not worried that their dad won’t return the girls. Now that he’s so free, he wouldn’t want that freedom be taken away by having the kids with him. Besides, he doesn’t have money to send the girls to a private school. He knows he will destroy his children’s future if his ego gets the better of him.

So for weeks it will just be me and the cats in this apartment. I think it sounds lovely. The introvert side of me says ❀️.