I had back-to-back-to-back conferences and calls today and it will be like this for the rest of the week. The most hectic will be on Thursday when I will have 4 press conferences on top of big regional conferences. I wonder how I will stretch myself.
I have two interviews tomorrow and three regional conferences. I’m tempted to add another screen to my dual monitor setup. Hmm… Maybe I could use the laptop’s screen as a third screen. Crazy week.
We already made peace. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Kimchi has somehow forgiven me and has started hanging out with me again. But I still need to continue giving her the antibiotic and antacid. The vomiting has stopped ofter 24 hrs of giving her the oral meds last week.
Florals. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
I still sew masks to help me relax at night while watching YouTube videos of crafting, interior design, or whatever creative things that help me calm down. I’m going to give this batch to my cousin who just arrived from Ireland. It’s her birthday today. I think she still has my drunken video about Chris Hemsworth from 2018 when she and another cousin came to my old house to celebrate my singlehood. The next day I was so hungover while packing my bags and was almost late for my flight to Singapore.
Prior to this, I gave the last batch of masks as an appreciation gift to one of my friends from the industry who sent groceries when I was half-dead with Covid. They posted my gifts on Facebook; it seemed like they were really happy with them.
Next projects would be curtains again but with crochet laces at the hem. All handmade by me. Good luck to me.
Because J has fallen in stature in my eyes, thinking about him hurts less now. Or maybe this is because I have been sleeping better that’s why I can talk like this now. Maybe if I start to become sleep-deprived again I would be back to being emotional again.
He used to be the only star in my night. Now that star has died.
Maybe I needed that jolt that I’ve experienced these past weeks to be able to realize that, hey, he isn’t really that special. And he is not a nice guy after all. I died several times over this person but he really can’t destroy me. I know who I am and what I am capable of. I may not be a CEO of a company or a high-flying executive that he could admire but I know I’m very good in what I do. I have everything that I needed. I have a home and I have love in the form of two not-so-little girls.
While he doesn’t have those.
Death of a star. He has now become a stardust.
To add to our worries, here comes another variant. We are going through the entire Greek letters while the Duterte administration is raping us wide eyes open.
To calm my frayed nerves, I ordered new cloths to make into masks for my friends’ children in appropriate kid sizes.
From Shopee. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
The weekend is coming soon. Let’s see how many I can make.
So much for vaccine diplomacy. We should have had the 10 million Pfizer vaccines by now if DOH Sec Duque did not “forget” to sign the papers for their procurement. Some people in my industry say that the “dropping of the ball” happened to favor the China vaccines because no one in the country wanted to be vaccinated with it, based on polls. Now China dangles the Sinopharm and Sinovac vaccines as part of their vaccine diplomacy in exchange for this:
Chinese vessels, believed to be crewed by Chinese maritime militia personnel, are seen at Whitsun Reef within the Philippine exclusive economic zone on Saturday [Philippine Coast Guard via Reuters]
The Philippine FDA hasn’t even approved the use of the Chinese vaccines for healthcare workers nor senior citizens nor those with co-morbidities and yet we have subjected our healthcare workers to these vaccines when there should have been better alternatives.
Given the blatant disregard for Philippine sovereignty and the evil Philippine president has already sold the country to China, Defense chief Delfin Lorenzana is breaking away from the stance of the Duterte administration and has given hostile statements against China for the second time. Usually whenever Lorenzana issues statements like these in the past, he comes back to recant his statement or divert the issue after probably being scolded from above. This time he can’t take it anymore and continues to be on the offensive.
Meanwhile, I’ve learned from a veteran journo in my FB network, Quezon City has started the vaccination for senior citizens and residents with co-morbidities. I signed up via the Zuellig platform, which handles the database for QC. I learned that asthma is counted as one of the comorbidity, making me and my daughters high-risk residents. I just tried but I’m not counting on it since there are more vulnerable citizens in my area.
Ikaw ba ay kabilang sa A3 Priority Group? Ito ang mga indibidwal na 18-59y/o na may controlled comorbidities (chronic respiratory disease, hypertension, cardiovascular disease, chronic kidney disease, cerebrovascular disease, malignancy, diabetes, obesity, at iba pa) pic.twitter.com/lo71gpXm6R
I hope my hometown is able to procure as well so that my mom, a senior citizen, and my brother (who has hypertension) can be vaccinated soon.
At the home front, I finished the curtains for the girls’ room and are now hanging there:
I’m quite proud of my handiwork. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
I’m now finishing mine so that I can hang it in my room about three days from now. Sushi always accompanies me while I sew. She always sleeps at my feet or at my chair’s headrest.
My cats could not leave me alone. My girls are now protesting, “Mommy, why is that they always stay with you but not with us?!”
MY babies. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
Hmmm, I should restain the floorboards with varnish. They get so much wear because of my rolling chair.
Another day without riding the bike today. I wasn’t in the mood yesterday because I had a home massage via Zennya (their therapists are in PPEs so more or less I feel safer). As a reward for a really crappy long weekend due to lack of sleep. Probably it was the tea I’ve been consuming lately that’s been keeping me up until the wee hours.
Today I was too engrossed writing a scoop and then editing in between. Being a workaholic has advantages, especially in times like this. (What is this this, you ask. The this I am pertaining to is my journey to self-healing and forgiveness of myself)
I’ve always been busy, never been bored. My hands always needed something to do, like sewing, writing, paper crafting, reading, reading, reading, and more reading. Even when I was on hospital duty (either my dad or mom required long hospital stays), I always had a cross stitch project with me, tons of books, and notebooks to write on (this was in the late 1990s and early 2000s, before mobile Internet was democratized). Unfortunately, my cross stitch projects remind me that I stayed as a caregiver for a long time that’s why I was able to finish them in one go.
I can’t remember when was this but I think this was when I was in college when my mom, older sister, and I took turns in taking care of my father when stayed in the hospital for three months because he had a diabetic foot wet gangrene that almost cost his leg to be amputated. It required him to stay for that long because he needed to grow back his flesh then they grafted skin from his butt onto his leg to close the open wound. The cross stitch project I was able to finish that time is now hanging over the shelf containing my Totoro collection at the landing of our stairs.
This is for a face mask project I’m doing for a friend.Photo by CallMeCreation.com
I’ve been sewing face masks since February last year. At first it was due to necessity because there was a huge shortage of face masks because 1) Taal Volcano erupted, scattering ash all around; and 2) COVID. My first attempts were crude because I was just experimenting and I did everything by trial and error. I made the first batch of those for my girls and for him because they were my priority. My regret is that I wasn’t able to hem the seams properly so his masks are still fraying on the inside. I didn’t have pinking shears at that time and I still don’t have now (which reminds me to order from Lazada tonight). I was able to refine my masks only later and I wasn’t able to replace his masks before he dumped me. I only managed to make one improved mask, which I stuffed into his weekend bag the last time he was here at home.
The reason why I continued to sew masks and give away to friends is that it helps ease my anxiety. Imagine the huge burden I had at the height of the lockdown, I was trying to keep six people alive by my lonesome. I had nobody to share that responsibility. Yup, by my lonesome. Upon reflection–which is the only thing that I do whenever I sew because you know, the mind wanders when you sew–yes I carried the weight of the world at that time. I was the head of the household. It took so much gumption and nerves of steel not to freak out at that time. I had to have it together. People were getting depressed left and right; some even died by suicide because it was simply too much. But I could not afford to succumb to depression because I have had five people depending on me.
I am still sewing masks even though I shouldn’t because it encourages my mind to wander while I sew. So what I do is I watch Youtube videos like this below so my mind will not wander.
Because the whole point of making myself busy is to keep me from thinking about him and if I could, I would just want to erase him out of existence.
Now, you may think I’m an 80-year-old granny in a 41-year old body because I’m just sewing myself out of existence. To get myself out of my head, I ride my bike whenever I could. One of my girls asked for a bike and gave me her savings from Christmas presents she received so she can have her own bike. I bought my reporter-friend’s folding bike, which he was contemplating on selling to his TV crew (who in turn refurbish bikes to resell) because he is now very busy with a toddler son and an infant daughter and has no time to ride.
My 20″ wheel folding bike and my daughter’s 16″ wheel folding bike. Photo by CallMeCreation.com
We rode last Sunday together in UP. I had to have training wheels attached to hers because I wasn’t able to teach her properly how to ride a bike. By the looks of it, it will take us a while before I could have the trainers removed.
Hopefully by next month we can have our first dive in six months. I need to book a resort, buy new flippers for the three of us, and have my COVID test. (Ugh! The endless poking on my nostrils!)
So yeah, I’ve been a kickass journo and editor today and will be tomorrow, and the next day, and the following day.
Because I am no one else’s sugar mommy anymore.
(*Oohh yes, the bitterness and anger are dripping from that sentence above. It won’t go away anytime soon*)
