I continue to fly Philippine Airlines despite the horrific service because there are no long lines at the immigration at Terminal 1. That’s the only reason. Cathay Pacific was fine last month (going to HK) since the seats were roomier and there is in-flight entertainment. However, I had to beg my way into skipping the line at the immigration at Terminal 3 because it was already 15 mins to boarding, I was still at the end of the queue. Lines there are always long and messy. 😑

Had a long lunch date with my SG-based friends later today and I provided them with Manila gossip.

I’m taking a break again on my balcony as I had been checking my clothes to pack for my trip to Singapore tomorrow. I will be leaving at 2 am and thankfully I was able to book my mom’s driver. I don’t have to be wide awake and glug a mug of coffee before leaving.

It’s gonna rain. Let it rain. It has been so hot that I haven’t turned off the AC since yesterday. Two of my potted plants have died already. 😢

She just wouldn’t get off my bag when I need to put more stuff in it. 😑

I finally caved in. Bought myself a mid-priced fountain pain for watercolor sketching or ink sketching in general.

Drawing is a lot smoother with fountain pen compared to using fine liners. I have resurrected this pencil sketch of the UP Carillon I initially drew last year when we were still living in QC.

I’m happy with this purchase but boy, it pulled me into a rabbit hole I can’t get out of now. I have watched videos of how to refill the cartridges with ink using a syringe and why this method is better than using a cartridge converter. I also researched on various inks and which would be the best for watercolor/washings and which inks would not clog the pens. There were also videos of how to clean fountain pens. It’s all so… tedious and yet fascinating. You bet I’m going to buy blunt-ended syringes and a bottle of Pilot blue-black ink. Once it’s completely dry, it won’t bleed when you watercolor, they said.

And knowing me, once I get enamored, I will upgrade to a better model and damn it, it’s going to be a very expensive hobby. 😩 I remember my father having a lot of ink bottles on his desk because he was refilling his own pens. He just loved pens like I do now.

I have a friend from college who  suddenly died two days ago. I sought a common friend at 5:30 am today to ask what happened. She said common friend was diagnosed with leukemia on 10 April and was admitted immediately to the ICU. He died on the 15th.

He didn’t stand a chance. It was too fast, like he wasn’t even given a chance to have treatment. His wife posted on Facebook (I checked after I learned) that her husband wanted to live and was fighting hard. I’m so sorry, C, rest in peace. You don’t have to hurt anymore.

I guess his leukemia didn’t present symptoms until it was already too advanced. I researched and learned that this happens to adults with chronic myelogenous leukemia. This common friend told me that this is a wakeup call for us in our age group to have ourselves checked regularly.

This jolted me. I finally decided that I won’t join the out-of-town data analytics training in early May and instead I should spend part of my annual personal time off for medical checkups. I ghosted my gynecologist for a year in 2023 after my tests showed I was fine. I should go back and have to re-do my pap smear and all tests that constitute an executive checkup. I should get another gastroenterologist because my previous one didn’t care a fig about me. My CT scan last December showed an inflamed fatty liver and pancreas. Another friend told me that unhealthy liver can be reversed but once the pancreas is hit—it’s gonna be tough. Women who have polycystic ovary syndrome (which I had known I have since high school) have a higher risk of developing pancreatic cancer or insulin resistance.

I shouldn’t leave everything to chance. Because as I wrote here before, genetics is shit. Even though lymphoma is generally regarded not genetic (but I doubt it because my grandpa and his daughter, my aunt, both died of it), there may be gene mutations that I may have inherited. I don’t want to leave my children motherless at this stage. I should have myself screened regularly.

I have already abstained from alcohol and too much stimulants like caffeine as they have been triggering my gastric problems. Plus it’s healthier. I’ve been controlling consumption of red meat. I haven’t been grilling steak or porkchops as often as I did in the past.

This is a wakeup call.

I had a call early this evening to prep my panelists for next week. Why do I feel like I asked the wrong questions and I looked like a dweeb? Maybe because the guide questions set before me were dumb and I was grasping for the middle ground. At the end of the call, I finally figured out what they want to talk and argue about. But I still felt like a dweeb and I hate that.

I also feel like I need to change something with my background. I’m not sure if I look like I’m in a home office and not a bedroom. I don’t like having virtual backgrounds because they make me look like I’m floating in space and not a real person. I can’t turn around my table because of limited space.

I’ve been sending emails requesting for interviews and most have responded positively. However, scheduling is a bitch. All of my online interviews will look like this (above).

Yes, Johnny Depp, you’re right. Sometimes the dam breaks because it couldn’t hold on much longer. The cracks are just too great. We cry because our dams break. And it’s ok.

But I’m in a good place now. Last month was bad but I was holding it as far as I could. I’m enjoying whatever momentary peace I have now.

Today is just unbearably hot. I water my plants everyday but the heat is just too much. To think that I’m already surrounded by my trees, the temperature is still unbearble. I am so thankful we’re no longer in Metro Manila because my electric bill would probably be 10k by now and my aircon working doubly hard to keep us cool 24/7.

I could only come out of my house at 4 pm to feed and give water to the cats outside and water the plants. It’s just too hot to do anything.

By 5 pm I come out of the balcony and try to catch some sun and watch birds roost.

I enjoy moments like this.

I am, however, contemplating whether I can forfeit this simple joy for another job because my next job may be more hectic than this. A friend from a rival newswire messaged me on Viber that they are looking for a Manila-based global editor. She doesn’t have the details but it’s more or less general news and business and it’s Asia/EMEA hours. She gave me the email address of the person hiring.

I will reach out to him tonight.

I am still weighing but this could be the reason why the PR writing thing is not yet working out. The universe is conspiring for me to do this journalism thing. Deep down I’m still a news hound through and through.

Last week I approached one of my sources and I made a business proposal since he has been consulting me for PR stuff anyway. He said he couldn’t have a contract approved by his firm because I’m still attached to my current company. Well, this makes sense because they’re global and it’s hard to have something under the table, even just as an initial engagement. I said yeah, let’s have something formal once I get out of my current job.

But it’s chicken and egg situation; I can’t get out if I couldn’t get enough clients to sustain me and right now I have zero.

Let’s see how this goes.

Meanwhile, this same friend sent me photos of their shooting-the-rapids getaway this weekend.

The river and the falls are just 30 mins away from my house. She said it was just a spontaneous thing they did—they just hired a boat and boat men and went riding the rapids and spent the night in Caliraya.

I am itching to go somewhere. We may do it this Labor Day.

…I will go bankrupt because I will be watching all the musicals and plays that I could fit into my schedule. I would go off-Broadway and off-off-Broadway to watch other interesting things.

That said, I will be skipping Miss Saigon in Manila this time around. My good friend, G, told me that the actress playing Kim was bad. Not really horrible but she sounds like she’s running out of breath when the singing required of Kim is very demanding and she couldn’t embody the role. Just because she has Filipino blood (she’s Filipino-Aussie) doesn’t mean she is already deserving to be Kim. From Lea Salonga (the original Kim) down to the last Kim before this one, the role in major Mis Saigon runs (West End, Broadway, global tour) most of the time has been won by a Filipino. We are known to be a vocal powerhouse but sadly this current Kim ain’t it.

The only redeeming factor of this Miss Saigon run is the Engineer–who has a very gay take on the role. My friend, G, said that the current Engineer is “very fresh”–a role that has been originated by Jonathan Pryce in the original production. But then, the Engineer role has been played by a female before—by another Filipino.

As Isay Alvarez (the original Gigi Van Tranh) said, Cameron Mackintosh was looking for the perfect Kim all over the world and found her in the Philippines. He went to Manila to find Kim but ended up leaving Manila with 12 Filipinos to bring to West End.

Anyway, I may change my mind when I come back from Singapore or maybe I would just skip it all together and just dive in Anilao.

Just looking at my schedule in Singapore next week makes me exhausted. Starting Monday morning I will have back-to-back-to-back meetings until evening for drinks. Until Thursday. Ugh.

I’m still composing emails and coordinating the coverage for our conferences and I will be having calls with my panelists because I will be moderating one session.

It’s sooooo freaking hot these days. 🫠