Since the official notice that we will be discharged the next day was super late, I couldn’t book any of my mom’s drivers to fetch us. My siblings have work.

I decided to book a hotel next to Ayala Center to spend another night so my older sister can pick us up today. I wanted to celebrate and have a comfortable sleep after camping in our hospital room’s bench for several nights.

The four-day long weekend has flushed out humanity from Metro Manila and now I get to enjoy the city without the clogged streets. It took us only about 30 mins from PGH to Ayala Center, which could have taken an hour or so on a normal day.

I plopped on the bed and slept for an hour and a half to make up for the lack of sleep the past few nights. My head was already pounding before it touched the pillow. After convincing my daughter we need to get out and walk, we hopped to Ayala Center and treat ourselves.

We checked out OneAyala, the former Intercontinental Hotel, which Ayala Land converted into a mixed use development. It directly connects to MRT, has four floors of shopping and dining areas, offices and Seda Hotel on the top floors, with the ground floor serving as a transport hub. I was surprised that OneAyala was huge, remembering how narrow the function rooms in Intercontinental were. Then I remembered there was a road at the back of the hotel and a parking area. Ayala Land claimed those and made one huge building with the ground level opening up to EDSA.

In the activity center, there was a Thayers event that I joined just for the heck of it. I mean, I already have a lot of toners back home (currently using Shiseido) but it doesn’t hurt to get a free bottle and a discount card for purchases at Watsons.

And every trip to the hospital gives Twin A a reward of Japanese food.

I knew people are out of the city when I saw restaurants only half-filled on a Friday night. Even the malls are not brimming with people. Usually the bridgeway connecting Greenbelt and Glorietta is teeming with humanity. Not this time.

After a long walk back to the hotel, I booked a two-hour Zennya massage. How I missed Zennya!

Our IDS said they made an initial reading of the MRI scan/s and said they’re clear! The thickening of the colon lining is no longer there and the lymph nodes are all gone. It’s really TB and they have been resolved. Twin A has no malignancy or any symptoms of autoimmune disease, her TB is also gone!

We’re just waiting for the official reading of the scans.

Thank you, Lord!

IDS said during the course of TB treatment, there are instances that lymph nodes will increase as the infection is still putting up a fight (“nanlalaban”) and then they dissipate. Our team of doctors are just making sure nothing is off, especially with quality of tests and reading of scans and test results vary wildly from hospital to hospital. Since Twin A’s TB is atypical, our doctors have to be thorough. Plus genetics is shit.

Part of the thorough examination is the running of TB quantiferon test. Our IDS said she expects it to be negative, otherwise a positive reading means Twin A’s TB strain is drug-resistant. However, the result would be released next week since it’s a holiday tomorrow and on Monday.

We’re going to be discharged tomorrow.

I spoke with IDS and hema-oncology fellows on separate occasions/rounds. All of them said the tests are so far all normal, nothing remarkable that would prompt them something is wrong. Even the stubbornly high uric acid is normal. I checked our billing statement to see if they did some blood protein test or CTC or any kind of test to screen for cancer, so far none. I only saw a TB quantiferon test, lactic dehydrogenase (liver? cancer?), erythrocite sedimentation rate >>> which could just be checking for infections?

She’s going to have her MRI scan tonight, which will determine if there is something big to check/get tissue samples from, hema-onco fellow said. I guess it translates to if there are large lymph nodes present.

I’m storming the heavens with prayers. 🙏 Everything will be all right.

I thought we wouldn’t be back like this but here we are. I got a smaller room because I assumed we would be here for only a few days… Keeping my fingers crossed.

Left home at 4 am, arrived at 5:30 am, got admitted and got into the room at around 8 am. X-ray, blood tests, urinalysis, etc done. Scheduling of MRI and biopsy still underway. Much to Twin A’s dismay, she is again inserted with IV.

I’m still left in the dark. I don’t know what they’re thinking. I was able to talk to our hema-oncologist’s fellow tonight and asked, if there’s malignancy, shouldn’t my patient feel sick? She said yes, she should be having fevers and losing weight. But she gained 50% weight within a year and she even had volleyball training this school break and she was fine, I said.

I don’t know if I’m ok if they’re suspecting some autoimmune disease. But I am definitely going to freak out if it’s still malignancy and lymphoma is still in the mix.

Whew, pedia resident said my daughter’s uric acid has gone down to normal even without the maintenance medicine and her bilirubin and other indicators of liver health are all ok. 🥲

We’re just waiting for her creatinine result and off we go to MRI soon!

For our daily dose of realizations:

No wonder the atmosphere was heavy, hazy, and very humid yesterday…Taal Volcano is acting up again and the ashes are blowing up this way. The local government has suspended classes today because of the heavy vog we’re having.

Yesterday morning, the world was still fine and I walked to the weekend community market to buy food for the entire Sunday because I didn’t want to slave in the kitchen.

I encountered freshmen college students walking in blocks for what seemed to be a campus tour. It was probably the first time they met their blockmates. Ah yes, today is their first day of classes and it’s better to get acquainted with the buildings or else they will get lost going to their Math 11 class or Crop Science 1. Jumping to one class to another more often than not requires a jeepney ride.

I walked to the market without any umbrella and I really felt the oppressing heat. I sweated so much and I wondered if it was just me or it was unusually humid.

This freed me from slaving in the kitchen all Sunday. It gave me the freedom to lounge in my bed before we went to church. I should do this every Sunday, no?

So for today, we’re just stuck here inside because the vog was bad. Our Philippines reporter sent me this photo she took this afternoon in her condo.

She said she can hardly see anything. It rained so hard and it was unusually heavy. Rain mixed with vog has certainly reduced visibility. She told me that España was already flooded. Gee, that means Taft Ave is already underwater as well.

Good that we’re leaving at 4 am later and hopefully my mom’s other driver (the first one bailed out on me) can drive my car. Its clutch + accelerator mix is finicky for those who are not used to driving it. My sisters gave up on my car as they can’t get the proper combination—and to think their cars are also manual transmission.

Anyway, we’re already packed for PGH. 😴

My two outside kittens are healthy but I have yet bring them to the vet clinic for their shots. I have too many things on my table right now but I’ll get to that soon. They don’t stray too far, they just stay within our compound when they’re not on my doorstep. My indoor kitties have grown more tolerant of them but I still keep them separate. Until the outside kittens have been vaccinated and dewormed, they won’t be able to enter my house, just to keep both indoor and outdoor groups healthy.

Save for our trip to PGH next week and the unknown that lies ahead, life is generally good. I’m so easy to please and maybe what turns off other people is that I don’t have any ambition to climb the social ladder and/or try to wield power and prestige. 

What I want is the polar opposite. I want this for myself, the life this artist has created for herself (see below).

She’s free to experiment with her art because she has no financial pressures. Her overhead is minimal and she has the luxury of having leisurely coffee or tea breaks among the trees. She doesn’t have to worry about healthcare because Australia’s healthcare is free for urgent and necessary care.

Someday I’ll get there.

Meanwhile, I got stressed with just reading about this story about Brandon Miller and his Instagram-whore wife, Candice Miller.

I know some people who had aspired for their kind of life but maybe I’m just built differently. I’m stressed by it. I think the desire to become like them comes from a place of insecurity and general lack of joy and satisfaction.

It’s no longer keeping up with the Joneses. It’s keeping up with Ivanka and the Olsens in the Hamptons. It’s hard to keep up appearances. 🥴 Unless you’re a trust fund baby, you have to toil away until you die just to keep the mansion in the Hamptons and the multi-million home in Manhattan.

It’s not the way to live. You’re barely living with that kind of lifestyle. Candice wasn’t even monetizing her Instagram content; she was just showing off her life, which some people on Reddit have estimated to be costing them USD 10m a year. It’s money they don’t have because they owe creditors at least USD 17m, not counting the money they owe friends and the lawsuits Brandon was facing. Brandon killed himself just to be able to live the Instagram life Candice was keeping.

So nope, I’m fine just where I am now. I don’t have debts and I don’t plan to have them. I will devote time to writing columns, books, researches. Arts and crafts. I do not desire to hang around parties and be photographed as a socialite.

Once my obligations to my children end, I may go back to teaching and lead a simpler life. Teaching is just to keep my brain sharp and to join the government pension fund.

After I have my solar power system up and running, my overhead costs will be minimal. I will lead a life like that lady in the bus in that YTube video.

I had been invited to be an adjunct in my old college in this uni but I declined since I can’t handle my job’s current stressors and if I transition into another job, it will just be so complicated. Handling the thesis of graduate students is not a walk in the park. I can give occasional lectures but time commitments are tricky.

Lord, help me get through next week then I’ll figure out what to do with my life.