The spark is gone. I no longer want to come back here. I don’t know where to go; everywhere the coral reefs are dying. I don’t know if Apo Reef, the second largest contiguous reef barrier in the world next to Great Barrier in Australia, has escaped this disaster. It takes a decade to 12 years before a reef can recover without disturbance (like a strong typhoon) or re-bleaching. With rising ocean water temperatures, it’s hard to say if they would be able to recover at all.

So I brought seven of my people to various places in Bohol to erase old memories and create new ones. We did the reverse trip by starting with the ATV driving in between the Chocolate Hills.

I initially drove the motorbike ATV but I changed places with my sister at the 1st pit stop so she can enjoy driving alone while I drive with my mom.

The new thing here is the 2nd pit stop where you can climb one of the hills and take in the view from the top.

I didn’t climb because my thighs are killing me after battling with the waves yesterday to keep my mom from drifting into the big blue open sea. I said I’ll just try climbing the old Chocolate Hills lookout.

But… No. Look at this monstrosity below.

I brought my kids to Chocolate Hills so that they can see for themselves this geological phenomenon.

We visited the Bohol Tarsier Conservation Center so my kids and nephews can see in person the world’s smallest primate. They’re 3-6 inches tall and are very sensitive to everything.

We then proceeded to Loboc for the river cruise because we’re famished.

The last time I/we did the river cruise was in 2019 and it was called Loay River Cruise (different operator). The landing for the Loboc River Cruise is just across the Loboc church and is very much new and improved compared to the 2003 version.

My sister and I said this kind of tour is for the balikbayan and foreigners. But for us locals, we just want to have lunch while going around some parts of the island.

We stopped by the butterfly whatever, which was just a sorry kind of zoo. We should have skipped this one.

We stopped by Baclayon church for my mom’s benefit. It is a Sunday after all.

I don’t remember going inside a museum in 2019 so it felt like this museum is new to me.

Then I showed to my family the site of the Blood Compact between Bool’s (old name of Bohol) Rajah Sikatuna and Miguel Lopez de Legazpi, the conquistador. The monument has been moved from the main highway to a few meters down at the back and they made a park so it can accommodate more cars instead of having them clogging the highway.

It was a full day and my kids and nephews enjoyed it.

To cap the day, I went soundtripping by the beach for an hour until evening fell.

Just like the other major diving spots in this country, Balicasag island didn’t escape the massive coral bleaching of the past 4 years. The entire coral ridge is dead. Dead. Deader than dead. No more fish. It’s grey. It’s a graveyard.

I want to cry. Climate change is killing everything.

We skipped the dolphin watching thing because it was such a waste of time, plus it was already late. The sun was already beating down on us when we left the resort.

It was a very rushed affair compared to our trip in 2003 and in 2019. This time, there’s a queue for boatmen and it’s strictly 1 hr: 30 mins for sea turtle swimming and coral snorkeling/diving. Can’t extend because there is still a long queue of tourists waiting for their turn to be ferried by our boatmen.

Compared to 5 years ago, swimming with the turtles now is super chaotic because you bump into so many boats. Same with the coral snorkeling.

Over-tourism is ugly.

Climate change is uglier.

I no longer know how to express this grief. It hurts so much. A scuba diving friend reacted to my Instagram post about the coral bleaching. She said the same thing is happening to Danjugan Island marine sanctuary in Negros Occidental, the coral bleaching has become a problem and the pawikan are getting sick and dying.

I wasn’t able to practice diving deeper because I was assisting my 74-year-old mom. I was tugging my diving buoy that she was holding on to while she snorkled. The waves were strong since it was high tide, so she was constantly being swept away to the open sea. I had to fight back and keep her in place.

I guess I need to go back to Anilao to do my thing before we go to Coron, Palawan…

But then, I don’t think things are better there. Even the Great Barrier Reef in Australia is dead. My sister did scuba diving there and she said the house reef in Eaglepoint Resort in Anilao was much better than that. That’s how bad the coral bleaching there is.

My heart is breaking.

As Joey Ayala sang:

Karaniwang tao, saan ka tatakbo

Kapag nawasak iisang mundo?

I’ve almost forgotten how chaotic domestic flights are, especially with Cebu Pacific. I haven’t taken CEB in five years purposely but this time I didn’t have a choice since I’m not alone and I needed to book for 8 people.

I’ve also forgotten how small the seats are and that these do not recline.

Good thing I had enough sleep (3 hrs) so I’m not as grumpy as normal, which is my default mood during early morning flights.

Low pressure areas/typhoons do follow me anywhere these days. Tomorrow’s dive in Balicasag is still pending; let’s see how the winds are tomorrow. Otherwise I will just bring my brood to tour Bohol.

I lugged our fins around and bought a special bag for my long fins just for this trip. Ah, the commitment to a hobby…

My manager is dampening my mood today. She’s giving me anxiety again. She’s making me feel like everything is my fault. 😣

I think I did ok with yesterday’s one-hour interview. There were four of them and all questions were situational, things that a non-news editor-journo cannot answer well. It was a test of judgment call, whether it was correct or not, depending on the needs and situation. It was also a test whether I would be fit for the role.

I realized during the conversation with them that I wouldn’t have a life. I would be tied to the desk for at least 8 hrs, almost no meal breaks because the job is time-sensitive news. Every second counts. The shift would start at 6 am. 🤦🏻‍♀️The thing is I am definitely not a morning person. It will really be a struggle for me.

Anyway, the next is the three-hour editing test. I need to block time for that because it’s going to be an intense editing session, methinks. If I bungle this, it’s ok. At least I tried. I hate editing under so much pressure so I will just let go and let this be a learning experience.

Again, I would be giving up so much freedom in exchange for the chance to get away from my manager. So it won’t be that bad if I don’t get this; I still have a job albeit I would have to contend with my manager. The only ways I can stay out of her reach is by 1) asking for a demotion; 2) complain to her manager so that I would be moved to another manager, which would create so much crisis in the newsdesks of APAC; and 3) find another job and resign. I took the easiest route (3) but it’s the riskiest of them all.

Doing errands before we leave for the airport at 2 am because our flight to Panglao is at 5:20 am. Considering that this is Terminal 3, all fuck-ups can happen like long snaking lines.

I was doing fine last week until this afternoon. I had my story edited and then—boom! My manager went picking on me again. The editor who was the primary editor, didn’t see what the fuss was all about. Then my manager emailed me and pressed me for things that are impossible. I told her if that’s so critical, then I’m dropping the story. We’ll just wait for the company announcement because there was no way I could extract information anymore, even called Hong Kong to get what I needed. There were legal implications that’s why it’s impossible at this point and she couldn’t see that.

She realized I was serious about dropping the story.

She did pull back a bit. But I’m too pissed off to even bother pushing the story out.

I have been pushing back recently. I’m tired of her bullshit.

I told my co-author that I wanted to quit. I was fine with my job but my manager is really the one pushing me out. I would have stayed for a bit longer but with her as my manager? I don’t think so.

I hate her.

My anger mixed with anxiety is killing my productivity today. I don’t want to jump into another job just because I’m being emotional. I want to be rational when making big decisions like this. I want logic to dictate all my moves and not because I just want to get away from a person I have come to hate.

My girls are with their dad now at the airport. They will be joining their cousins and aunts and uncle in Boracay later today and will be there until Tuesday.

Until then, I will be solo living. I don’t have to wake up early to cook. Or bother to cook for the entire day. Whopeee!

I was told my panel interview will be on Wednesday and my friend will one of the interviewers. 🤣 So fairgaymother K asked me if I would be all business with our friend KL or I would be familiar with her. I said, nahhh, I would be professional. I told him that I honestly am not too hot about the job. If the compensation isn’t above 50% my current rate, it would suck given that I would be exchanging so much freedom for more work and more stress.

If only my manager isn’t my current manager and the threat of changing our contracts doesn’t hang over our heads like Damocles’ sword, I would have stayed on for a little bit. But then, I’m already fed up with the parent company—or maybe it’s the 10-year itch (instead of 7-year) that is making me antsy. 🤔

Ah well. I don’t know. Let’s see where this leads me. It doesn’t hurt to know how much I am undervalued now against market rates since I have stayed in one place for a decade. As my ex-colleague friend said, it’s good to have this exercise every once in a while.

My cats invading my human twins’ room. I’ve drawn the curtains so they can look out the window. I’ve opened the main door this morning but Kimchi wasn’t interested in going out and would rather be by the window.

At first when I read it on Twitter (now X, with a revolting tweet from Elon Musk), the first thing that went through my mind was this was scripted.

Then FBI killed the shooter.

Oh, so this is real…But I don’t know, the shooter is a registered Republican. A man can be desperate enough to do stupid things to put food on the table and be a sacrificial lamb for something as bizarre as this.

Trump will have a landslide win in November by the looks of it. This incident paints the Democrats as villains and Trump a hero.

This is what you get when you have an incumbent who refuses to acknowledge that he is not effective and he is not what the people wanted. Obama and Pelosi already talked to him; Democrats are calling for him to step down and make way for somebody else to be the frontrunner of the party. But nope, Sleepy Joe is as stubborn as a mule.

With this assassination attempt, the presidency is now delivered hot to Trump. Good luck, America, with your Project 2025.

Those piles are my to-be-read books. I finished some of them but I still couldn’t pick another one because I’m overwhelmed by the options how I can spend my free time. I was contemplating on doing watercolors but the creative burst isn’t there. I couldn’t stay up late because I need to go the clinic for a check up and see the result of the biopsy of my forehead tumor early tomorrow morning.

For now I am just soundtripping on the new playlist I made on Spotify. It’s chill-electronica-pop that I will binge on the plane to and from Panglao. I must make a playlist as well for beach chilling. We will be flying at 5:30 am on Friday and will be back at 8 pm on Monday. Just a quick trip, to reacharge.