I’m not angry at the caller; I always expect men to be shallow. I’m angry at the comments in this video. They’re getting under my skin.

Men do not understand that women’s bodies morph and get destroyed during pregnancy. Carrying humans inside us once or multiple times can really stretch us out of shape. Carrying multiple babies at the same time can literally kill us. Breastfeeding babies for several months to a year will make our  boobs sag. Breastfeeding mutiple babies at the same time will make our boobs into sad sacs of fats. They will never be perky again. Ever. Unless  husbands give us money for a boob job.

Our  bodies will never be the same again. Men will have to accept that.

Hormones and the ravages of pregnancy will make sure we will never be our old selves again.

On top of these, add the stress of 1) raising mini parasitic humans, constantly clinging to us literally and figuratively; and 2) mental burden of keeping the house in order while 3) earning a living. Mothers are already spent by 8 pm. We really are dead in heart, mind, and body by that time. We don’t have the bandwidth to even have a walk around the neighborhood for 30 mins. Those who are lucky to maintain a slim figure post-pregnancy until kids are 15 years old are those 1) with husbands who help them raise kids and keep the house in order i.e. husbands who equally share the burden of raising a family and keep the household intact; 2) rich with a lot of maids and do not have to work for a living and have all the time to spend in the gym; 3) rich enough to be able to go to plastic surgeons and enroll in Marie France and some weight loss and toning spa; 4)  won the genetic lottery.

How dare the husbands demand that we keep our 20-year-old bodies after baking kids in our ovens for 9 months—the kids the husbands demanded without having to go through all the horror of being pregnant and giving birth and being sleepless for 2 years because infants wake up every 2-3 hrs! How dare they demand that we should keep our hips at 36″ when we had to eat for three people to keep two humans inside us alive for months! If we could only shrink back our hips to 36, we would! How dare they demand that we go to the gym to do an hour of cardio and resistance training after waking up at 5 am, cooking breakfast for everybody, making sure the kids get to school fed and clean, making sure the husband is well turned up going to work. And we still have to go fix ourselves, barely fed, to get to our workplace on time. Yet these husbands do not even help clear the table and wash dishes!!!

We are already exhausted by mid-day, man! Gym or running around the neighborhood is least of our priorities. If we are no longer  worrying about what to cook for dinner, taking care of laundry, or cleaning up after our kids, then we’ll talk about gym. We’ll talk about special low-calorie diet. We’ll talk about yoga and pilates.

How dare they demand that we shrink our bodies when we are suffering from hormonal imbalance because we have polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS)!

I am still fat despite my OB-gyn applauding my blood work because I managed to keep myself healthy, except for the insulin resistance due to PCOS and/or genetics. She was amazed by my discipline when it comes to cholesterol/diet.

But I’m still fat.

We mothers struggle so much with negative body image and low self-esteem because of shallow husbands. If you want a hot wife, then don’t demand to have kids, or work yourself to death to afford maids and drivers, or help with the fucking child-rearing and household chores!

Fucking morons.

Yes, I am angry and the trauma of being told that I’m losyang and my boobs are droopy and ugly never left me. Told by a man who passive-aggressively demanded to have kids but didn’t lift a finger in helping raise them.

I was so brainwashed that I believed I was ugly and I was already checking Belo for contact details so I can ask for a bust lift and liposuction. I went for brisk walks, doing two Academic Ovals in UP Diliman for under an hour despite exhaustion from work because I felt I was repulsive to look at.

It took me 6 years before I felt I am beautiful.

To the men in the comments section of that YouTube video, FUCK YOU!

It’s so hard to laugh out loud if you’re watching in the theater alone. I just contained myself in giggles and suppressed laughter and let my chair do all the shaking for me.

I watched Deadpool & Wolverine while my girls are with their elementary bffs, roaming around Shangri-la Plaza. The story is light-weight, just an excuse to bring back Logan from the dead. Fox already killed Wolverine but Disney (post-acquisition of Fox) resurrected him, which could open a lot of possibilities. This movie also brought to life Gambit, with his real-to-character Cajun accent, albeit exaggerated since they were in The Void.

Elektra and Blade were there as well. Blade is the real Marvel Jesus, not Deadpool. Marvel was on the brink of bankruptcy when it released Blade and the first movie was a sleeper hit. It saved Marvel.

Anyway, it was a fun movie that one shouldn’t take seriously. You wouldn’t get the jokes if you’re not up-to-date with pop culture.

I braved the weekend traffic to Metro Manila so that my kids can meet their gradeschool friends.

As much as I want to lie down and chill in bed the whole Saturday, I can’t deny my girls the chance to see their friends.

After we went our separate ways (I left them at Starbucks with friend #1), I occupied myself by visiting the art galleries at Shangri-la.

No, I didn’t buy anything. I don’t need more painting and writing supplies… 🫠

Wooohooo breaking news!

My hair stood on its ends while our national anthem played.

Yusuf Dikeç, the Turkish badass ex-military Olympian, went viral in 24 hrs for winning silver medal for shooting an air pistol casually like like John Wick. Or these badasses from Pulp Fiction. He had no special equipment, just ordinary eye glasses and ear plugs, and his hand in his pocket like it was nothing. In contrast, his opponents had special glasses like in some sci-fi movie.

And of course the interwebs went crazy and you know they will be turned into memes or anime within that 24-hr period. 🤣

Meanwhile, here’s another badass, the legendary Chad Smith of Red Hot Chilli Peppers, playing for Drumeo. Completely improvising drums on the fly on a song he has never heard before.

I will always love Drumeo for showing me how awesome drummers are.

After a press briefing today in Makati, I went straight to Yupangco music store to buy the piano stand that I’ve been eyeing for two years. I straightaway ordered the model I wanted and threw in a sturdier sustain pedal for good measure.

Good thing my car is big enough (with second row seats folded) to accommodate this heavy thing.

While deciding whether I want the single sustain pedal or the three-pedal attachment, I played the baby grand pianos that are as expensive as a down payment for a house.

You can hear the differences in sound quality as you go higher in price. The more expensive ones are 👌✨.

I fell in-love with this electric baby grand piano. It’s a lot smaller than the acoustic baby grand piano but it sounded like one but the latter has a richer tone. It can fit where you can fit an old upright piano.

I played and played and finally decided to get the single pedal since I never used the soft and the sostenuto pedals anyway. I was like a kid in a candy store. I knew I would be spending more than planned. 🤦🏻‍♀️ The pedal and guitar stand for Twin I weren’t supposed to be in my shopping cart but here they are. 🫠

When I got home, I immediately opened the box and assembled the piano stand. I am already a veteran Ikea assembler so this might be simpler than building a wardrobe or drawer, I thought.

I dropped by SM Mall of Asia to buy cheaper guitar strings in one of the music stores there and some picks. The ones in Yupangco are for professionals.

I also needed to get Twin A new backpack since Twin I got a hand-me-down High Sierra school bag from her paternal cousin. Also picked up fairy lights and lanterns from Ikea as requested by my girls. They wanted to decorate their study areas to welcome the new school year.

It’s uplifting to see that my little donations go a long way. I am blessed to have all my needs met and then some, allowing me to be a blessing to others. I am also helping a group that takes care a tribe of indigenous people, the Aetas of Capas, Tarlac, ever since the pandemic started. A friend’s mom is going there this week to help distribute relief goods as the Aeta community got hit badly by the recent floods in Central Luzon.

Every little thing counts. Seeing that you make a difference in someone’s life makes living on this earth worthwhile.

I just finished my two-day test for the role I am applying for. I don’t think I’m stellar but maybe I wasn’t that bad. 😐

I lost my footing when I rewrote a story about a derailed Amtrak on the East Coast. I had to regain my rhythm when editing general news. I haven’t done it in a decade. Because I was under stress, I can’t remember the other stories that I edited. 👀 You see, general news and business news—especially the very niche one I am doing for the last 10 years—are different animals.

Then today was all business news but it was more macroeconomy. Although it’s up my alley, I still struggled because of the style. Every news agency has its own style, from usage of the words war/conflict/invasion to describe Gaza and Ukraine situations, down to how they write currencies and stock symbols. For 10 years, it’s automatic for me to write PHP, EUR, JPY or USD, but other news agencies use PhP or ₱ and $ or ¥ and €. Believe me, if you have to correct yourself every now and then because you got used to a certain style for a decade, it slows your editing process.

Anyway, it’s ok if I don’t get an offer. It would give me so much dilemma if I did get one since I would have to weigh whether I can give up the freedom/better work-life balance or chase higher compensation and rank but I would be under so much stress.

BUT

I was under so much stress yesterday and today because of my manager. 😩

I was just messaging fairygaymother K and told him that I would have been fine with where I am right now, but my manager is destroying all the goodwill I have for my job. “Managers can make or break a person, noh?” I told fairygaymother K. He agreed 101%.

I didn’t see any semblance of the Last Supper here. The man on the table is clearly Bacchus, the Greco-Roman god of wine and fertility. This is Bacchanalia, debauchery of the highest level as the Greeks/Romans revel in food, wine, and sex.

The man on the table does not, in any way, resemble Jesus Christ. The paraphernalia is also consistent with Bacchus: flowers, fruits—all representation of agriculture and fertility.

Now, if indeed they were mocking Christianity, then they can do so—it’s very French of them to do so. Remember Charlie Hebdo? The French don’t care.

Are you offended? Why? Is your faith dependent on imagery and religious symbols? Geee, it’s really the Catholics who are raising hell (and the Evangelicals in the US) because their religion is anchored on ceremonies, symbols, and rules. I should know; I had been a faithful Sunday school-going child who became a lector until first year high school. Then I dropped out because it all didn’t make sense to me. I didn’t find salvation that way.

If mockery of religious symbols (Da Vinci’s Last Supper is not a religious relic nor canon, by the way) affect your faith, then you have so little of it!

I told my friend earlier (we both belong to the same church but different branches) that the Catholics’ faith is anchored on all these dogmas and sacraments (yeah, yeah, the seven sacraments and so many rules on every rite). That’s why they hold all the symbols and imagery so dear.

But you know, following all these do not earn you a ticket to heaven. You are saved by God’s grace alone. It’s your faith and relationship with God is what matters, not following rules and dogmas.

So what if they mocked Da Vinci’s Last Supper (but again it’s not the Last Supper 🤦🏻‍♀️)? Did that weaken your faith? Did it make God less holy? If they indeed mocked it, then it’s between them and God and it has nothing to do with you. God destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah by just one flick of His finger; let Him deal with those alleged French religious offenders.

Righteous indignation that is so misplaced. Where was their indignation when children got torn into pieces in Gaza? When children were bombed in Syria? Where were they when children were shot point-blank by local police because the madman Duterte had this operation tokhang raging nationwide?

Hypocrisy at its finest.